I wouldn't exactly call it the "long awaited" sequel, but here is more fun with Alexis and her mensuration related mood swings. This was written after three A.M., so it became a case of filter what filter I don't need no stinking filter. I'm also sure that some of this comes from having to listen to the crazy things that come out of my roommates mouth, so... You can thank/blame her.

Disclaimer: I am too poor to own anything.

Alexis groaned and fell face first into her bed. The only thing worse than getting your period two days early and in the middle of class, was getting your period two days early and in the middle of gym class (while climbing that mother fucking rope no less, "Look everyone, as the blood rushes forth from my vagina 15 feet above your heads!"). She wasn't sure if she wanted to cry or eat her weight in chocolate (or pizza, that sounded good too). First she needed to shower, but it was so far away and her bed was so... here. Just a short nap (who was she kidding, she knew short was code for 12 hours), that's all she needed. A nap and her toothbrush, because that brownie she had grabbed from the coffee shop on her way home had definitely left a bizarre aftertaste in her mouth (maybe if she squinted really hard she could pretend they were pot brownies and she was a rebel!).

She even briefly entertained reading some fan fiction (and by read fan fiction she means find the smuttiest smut to ever smut and hunker down with that and her feels). Maybe Harry Potter? She always gets a kick out of Harry Potter smut (because she totally pretends it says Alexis and not Ginny). She was just beginning to like this idea when the cramps started (the 'from hell' part went without saying).

So crying it was then, and the ugly kind too. The big wracking sobs with the snot bubbling out of her nose, what a sight. After about five minutes of that it petered off into staccato hiccups and sniffles, but she still couldn't find the energy to get up and move (which she did need to find quickly, it was beyond time for a tissue). Like a turtle stuck on it's back she rocked back and forth until she finally flipped over, unfortunately she was a little too close to the edge of the bed and ended up in the floor for her efforts.

Okay, now she was a little pissed (a good thing, since it was making her fidgety, and that meant movement). She scowled at her bed and gave it a feeble kick before getting up and stomping into the bathroom to blow her nose and enjoy a nice long-steamy-hot-naked-hot- oh shit, where was she going again? Right. The shower. Sent down from heaven. By the patron saint of showers. With all the functions and dual sprays and that shower head (sweet nibblets that shower head). Yes, it was shower time.

Alexis discarded her clothing near her hamper, with the decidedly soiled gym clothes, and made a beeline for her marbled heaven. A quick lock of the door doubly ensured her privacy, but she did prop her vanity chair up under the handle just in case, and turned the knob on her shower to Mordor (which, sadly, didn't get the water hot enough to melt her skin off of her bones, damned scald protection). As the room steamed up she sort of forgot all about all the nice things her shower could do for her and just plopped down onto the tile and let the water pound away at her stomach, doing much to assuage her cramps.

After what felt like an hour (in reality it was 45 minutes of shower, 50 tops) she crawled out of her own personal steam room and cooled herself on the hardwood floor in her bedroom, like that dog they had for a week when she was seven (he bit Gina and had to go). She's fairly certain she blacked out at some point, because the sun set on her. It was shining, and then one blink later she could see the glow from the streetlights in her window. Alexis after dark!

Her inner horny hell beast was back (totally pissed about the shower thing, btw) and was hampering her ability to not get turned by the thought of changing her tampon. Damn, she was kind of a perv wasn't she? She made a mental note to get herself good and laid next week (Ashley was just not the kind of guy who was up for earning his red wings), and crawled back into the sauna. Seriously, how was her bathroom still this hot?

A quick trip to the toilet and a fresh tampon later she felt like a new woman, a still incredibly horny new woman, but a new woman nonetheless. What could she do to distract herself? Surfing the internet was totally out of the question (smut and porn were north and she was south), food was not in her room, the thought of TV made her a little queasy, and her nap had left her fairly refreshed. What. To. Do. Children's books. Yep, she was going to readathon some Dr. Seuss.

Three books into Seussfest (making it sound more official, amidoinitrite?) that itch was still there, low in her abdomen. She was pretty sure it wouldn't take much to scratch it either. She bit down on her lip and smacked herself in the face with "Bartholomew and the Oobleck" (thank goodness she had had the foresight to not just grab the anthology). That didn't work, because still horny. Worst. Period. Ever. Clearly, Alexis was in for the week from hell, the kind of hell where you try not to think about sex and then give in and torture your poor aching vagina. Ashley so owed her after this.

Fuck it. She crawled from her bead and made her way down to the kitchen. She was going to bake her feelings. Cakes. Muffins. Biscuits. Pie. Cookies. Cookies would be coming out of her ass (no really, it will probably be the only thing she eats this week). Her father wisely cleared out when she came home, having learned his lesson after the book incident. Probably went to see Kate, it's usually where he ended up, nowadays. Did they really think she didn't know they were dating I mean- OH MY GOD THAT WHORE. Alexis slammed the flour down onto the counter, miraculously managing to avoid an explosion. Never realize that your dad is getting laid, ever. Also never realize that someone you know is probably having sex as you think the thought when you are that horny, even if that sex is with your dad. Fuck, man.

She measured out the appropriate amount of flour for cookie batch one as she grumbled to herself about everyone else's sex life (she probably needed to find a therapist after this, because she is so focused on her dad's sex life right now, ugh). Then the sugar, people were going to be lucky if these cookies didn't turn out penis shaped.