Spencer Reid was shivering, dripping wet. Rain water dripping from his hair, caught in his eyelashes, running down his face. Hotch gulped; Reid had a white shirt on under his vest; it was sticking to him. He looked beautiful.

"I need to talk to you," Reid said, his teeth clattering. His eyes were squinting, trying to keep the water out. "Please, it's really cold out here." He laughed nervously and shook the hair out of his face.

"It's…it's not a good time," Hotch managed to get out. He tried to shut the door, but Reid's hand shot out and held it open. It caught Hotch off guard, and he backed away. The door swung open as he let go. Reid came in, water dripping onto the carpet.

"Reid," Hotch started. What could he even say? He wanted Reid gone. This was not supposed to happen. "You're soaking wet."

Reid laughed, still shivering. "You're very observant, Hotch."

"Look, why don't you go home, get some warm clothes on. You'll get sick."

Reid shook his head. "People don't get sick that way. It's the germs that get you, not the rain. But, I am pretty cold, I'll give you that." He paused before asking shyly, "Do you have a robe or something I could wear?"

Hotch furrowed his brows at him in disbelief. "What?" He laughed coldly. "You come into my house, in the middle of the night, you wake me up, and you have the nerve to ask me for anything? It's not my fault you were standing out in the rain!"

"I think you owe me something, after what you did," Reid said. His voice wasn't confrontational. It was sad, and quiet.

Hotch shook his head. "It was a mistake, Reid, I know that. But you can't be here, now. It's not," he sighed, "It's not good for you."

There was an unbearably tense silence. Reid was shivering harder now. Hotch couldn't help it, he wanted to go to Reid and wrap his arms around him. He took a step forward, but no. He needed to convince Reid to leave, now.

Finally, Reid spoke up. "Why do you hate me, Hotch?" He betrayed himself by letting out a little sob. He moved towards him, his arm outstretched. "I never thought you would hate me, but you do, don't you?"

Hotch felt tears build in his eyes. He turned away from him, ignoring the hand reaching out to him. Reid followed him, cut in front and took him by the shoulders.

"Don't touch me!" Hotch shoved Reid, hard, knocking him to the ground. Reid got up immediately and tried to take hold of him again. "Stop it!" Hotch cried out. His voice sounded unlike his own. It was hysterical sounding, almost a shriek.

"Hotch, please just listen to me!" He stopped shaking him and began to cry. He said something, mumbled something into his hands. He looked up at Hotch tearfully. "It's so unfair. It's so unfair it's so unfair…" the words ran together while he shook his head. He curled his fingers into his palms until his knuckles turned white. He pressed them into his forehead and curled his fingers into his hair. "Why did you do this to me?" Reid cried. "I thought….I thought maybe you loved me too! I let you hurt me, you hurt me so much, but I thought," he shook his head and laughed. The laugh was frightening. Aaron's face was white as he watched his former friend going mad. "I thought," Reid continued pleadingly, "I thought it would be worth it! I thought you were just hurting me like that because, I don't know, you didn't know how else to express how you felt. But you…it didn't mean anything to you, did it?"

"No, Reid, it didn't." Hutch muttered. He couldn't look at him. He knew if he did, Reid would be able to tell he was lying. "I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry?" Reid's breath was coming in shorter gasps as he sobbed. "I love you, Aaron. I love you so much and…" he covered his mouth with his hand and stepped backward woozily. "I just wanted you to make love to me."

"That wasn't love, Reid. That wasn't love! I raped you? Don't you understand…" he walked away from him. His head was pounding. This couldn't be real, he couldn't have let this happen. It had to be a nightmare. "Wake up wake up wake up" he chanted to himself.

"But…" Reid stepped towards him, "but I, I kept telling myself last night that the pain would be worth it. That the, the horrible things you said to me were worth it because-" he stopped. "Look at me, Aaron." He grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him backwards. "Look at me!"

Aaron whipped around and shoved him again. Reid tripped over his feet and fell back to the ground. Aaron got down to the floor with him, above him, on his hands and knees. He put all his pressure onto Reid's shoulders to keep him from getting up. "Listen to me, and listen well, alright? Last night was a mistake. I should not have done what I did. I don't want you, Spencer."

"Then why did you do it?" Spencer's voice cracked.

"You know just as well as I do that rape is not about love or desire or sex, it's about establishing dominance, humiliating the other person. It's about power. Don't act like you don't know that."

"But you don't need to establish power, Aaron," he said quietly. He reached up to run his fingers lightly through Aaron's hair. "There has to be another reason."

Hotch left Reid's hand in his hair. He couldn't move; it felt good. It was making him hard again, God help him. "No, there was no other reason." His eyes closed. He let Reid stroke his hair. His pressure on Reid's shoulders softened, just enough for Reid to lean up and try to bring him into a kiss. He almost let him. But he felt Reid on his leg, Reid had grown hard too.

"No." He shook his head and got up, leaving Spencer on the floor. He had to think. There had to be a way out of this. There had to be. His brain was spinning, but grasping at nothing. There was nothing. This was not a stranger. This was someone he cared about, or who he had cared about.

Hotch turned, about to tell Reid that he knew he had whatever was coming to him. But his jaw dropped. "Reid, stop. What are you doing?"

Reid had taken his vest off and was quickly unbuttoning his shirt. Hotch reached out, and took Reid's hand. "Stop doing that."

Reid held onto Aaron's hand. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it frantically.

"Stop it," Hotch said again, his voice barely a whisper. Reid had taken his hand and was rubbing his cheek against it. He brought Aaron's hand to his chest, to his stomach, lower. "Stop," Hotch tried to push Reid away again, but Reid pulled himself in close.

"I need you to touch me again, Hotch," Reid whispered. His eyelids fluttered sleepily as Hotch's unwilling hand pressed against him. Reid licked his lips nervously. "You wanted to touch me last night. Why won't you touch me now?" He laughed a little, "The control thing, right?" He tried to make Hotch look at him. "Is that what it is, Hotch?" He was rubbing himself into Aaron's hand, and he leaned in close, kissing his neck. He took his hand from Aaron's, and reached in to touch between his legs. "I didn't get to touch you before," he explained with a sad smile.

Hotch grunted. His knees were going weak. It infuriated him, but he didn't want to take Reid's hand away. Reid's long, slender fingers were wrapped around his dick and were stroking softly. Aaron leaned against Reid and held on to his shoulders. He felt tears run down his face as Reid held him. Reid's shoulders were so thin and bony, the shoulder blades so pronounced. He could break him in half, if he wanted.

Reid pulled away from him, and brought Aaron's hand to his cheek. "Hit me again," he said. His lip was quivering. He ran his fingers through Aaron's and closed his eyes. "If that's how I can have you, hit me again. Please."

Hotch shook his head and tried to walk away. Reid drew his arm back, and then swung. His palm caught Aaron's cheek with a resounding slap. Aaron's hand flew to his cheek and his eyes opened wide. Spencer was trembling. He took another step forward, his arm went back, this time hitting Aaron in the temple with his hand curled into a fist. Aaron caught Reid by the wrist and tried to hold him, but his other hand struck out and reached into Hotch's hair, pulling at it and clawing. His face was gaunt and pale. Aaron hardly recognized him. His heart was beating hard as he stumbled, trying to get away. Reid had pulled his hand out of Hotch's grasp and struck him, again across the temple. There was a blur as Reid's arms encompassed him, smacking and clawing and punching.

"Stop it!" Hotch screamed, and hit Reid across the cheek with the back of his hand. Reid crashed into the wall, leaving a smear of blood where his temple had hit. Reid blinked rapidly, his mouth open in pain. Hotch's breathing was pounding out of him. The sight of the blood terrified him. He reached out and took Reid by the shoulders, and pulled him in close. He looked into his eyes for a second before softly putting his lips against Reid's. He could feel Reid's lips responding, kissing back. Reid's tongue peaked out, brushing against Hotch's lips. Hotchner's tongue pushed into Reid's mouth, running along Reid's teeth, fiercely massaging Reid's tongue. Reid pulled him in closer, his thin arms wrapped around his boss, his hand on Hotch's lower back, awkwardly brushing and trying to pull his shirt out of his waistband.

Spencer frantically kissed Hotch's neck. He pulled away just enough to unbutton Hotch's shirt, and then kissed his chest, his stomach. He got down on his knees and fiddled with Aaron's belt. His eyes shot up to meet Aaron's while he unzipped his pants and pulled them down. He gave Aaron a sad, crooked grin as he brought his boxers down to his ankles. His gaze went back to what was in front of him. His tongue ran along his bottom lip, in a strangely erotic mix of nervousness and lust. He took hold of Aaron's cock again, and then put him in his mouth.

"Agh!" Aaron shouted and bucked is hips forward. He reached out to the wall for support, his breath heavy and uneven. Reid's head was bobbing swiftly back and forth, his cheeks pinching together, sucking him in as hard as he could. Just as suddenly as he had taken him in his mouth he pulled away, getting a loud, shocked grunt from Hotch. "What are you doing?"

"I want to go into your bed," Reid said quietly.

Aaron glared at him. "No. Out of the question."

Reid shivered, "Please, I want you to make love to me."

Aaron got down on his knees and took Reid by the shoulders. "No. I am not gay, and I will not 'make love' to you."

Reid touched Hotch's face, "Okay." He slapped him again, harder than before. It sent a ringing in Hotch's ear. He did it again, and again, until Hotch grabbed his wrist with one hand and hit him with the other. He wrestled Spencer to the ground, still hitting him.

"Alright, you want me to hurt you? Is that what you want?"

A long tear rolled down Reid's temple and into his hair as he nodded hesitantly. His lip was bleeding a little. Hotch noticed and brought his lips down onto Reid's again, sucking on his lower lip. Reid's arms wrapped around him and he spread his legs to feel Hotch's groin rubbing against his own. They kissed furiously, grinding into each other and panting.

Hotch pulled away, "Stay right here. Do not move."

He ran into the bedroom and pulled open the nightstand. He didn't have much in there, some lubricant, a condom or two , nothing much. He grabbed the lubricant and went back into the living room. Reid had dutifully stayed where he was told.

The sight of Reid lying half naked on the floor made Hotch stop. He swayed dizzily, like a drunk.

"Are you okay?" Reid asked softly. He got up a little, now on his hands and knees.

Not helping, Spencer, Hotch thought. "Christ, what am I doing?" he whispered. He closed his eyes.

"Hotch?" He looked down and saw Spencer had crawled over to him, looking up at him with wide eyes. Fuck, he was beautiful. He was really beautiful.

"I can't do this," Hotch shook his head. Had he learned nothing from today? He could hardly bear to look at Reid because of the guilt and his own self-hatred. He felt sick. He was miserable. And now he was going to violate Reid all over again? Because that is what it would be now, a violation. Reid was acting as if he wanted this, but he was vulnerable. Hotch had betrayed him. "Reid, this is wrong. What I did to you was wrong, and it can't be repeated."

Reid stood up shakily and began to take off his pants. His eyes never left Hotch's face. It was an expression Hotch had seen on Spencer many times, when they were negotiating in a hostage situation or trying to calm an unsub long enough to disarm them. The expression, while fearful, wasn't that of a victim.

"Spencer, please stop," Hotch pleaded quietly. His shallow breaths caught in his throat when Reid slid his underwear to his ankles and stepped out of them. Spencer's pale, slender hips had deep bruises on them from the night before, and scratches from Aaron's fingernails.

A tear fell down Reid's face, "That's what I kept asking you last night." He began to play with himself, still watching Aaron's expression. "I know you still want me."

Hotch stood, frozen, his eyes fixed on Spencer and what he was doing to himself. He knew Spencer could see the effect this was having on him.

He walked to Spencer and took his head in his hands, pulling him into a kiss. He sucked his lips frantically, fitting their lips together, biting him. He reached down to Spencer's hand and began to stroke too. Spencer moaned. His head rolled back, and Hotch's lips brushed easily down. He took the skin between his teeth and sucked. Spencer had stopped touching himself and reached up into his boss's hair, holding onto him as if he could not stand on his own. Hotchner's thumb was rolling the tip of Spencer's dick, making Spencer moan loudly into Aaron's neck.

"Do you want me to fuck you again, Spencer?" Hotch managed to say through heavy breaths.

He felt Reid nodding against him. He mumbled sounds that might have been a "yes."

"Lay down on the ground. On your stomach," Hotch ordered.

Spencer complied eagerly, though Hotch could see that he was shivering. The scratches on Reid's back reminded him this was wrong. He could stop now, if he wanted to. But he wanted Spencer, more than anything.

He squirted the lube onto his hands and ran it over his cock. He knelt down behind Spencer. "This might be cold," he said, and ran his finger over Spencer's orifice. He cringed. Spencer looked sore, red and bruised. He shook his head, "No, I can't do this. It's…too soon, it's going to hurt you too much."

Reid smiled to himself. "You worried about me, Hotch? I thought you weren't concerned about my comfort at all."

"Shut up, Spencer," Hotch said, but couldn't help smiling a little. He lay on top of him, holding on to his dick and pressing it against Reid. "Ready?"

Reid nodded, "Please," he whimpered.

Hotch pushed himself in and felt Reid immediately tense up. "Shh," Hotch whispered into his ear. He buried his face into Reid's neck, lightly brushing the skin with his lips. He was moving in and out of Reid slowly, stroking his hair. He groaned when Reid began to push back against him.

"Harder," Reid sighed.

"Are you sure?"

Reid nodded, "Yes."

Hotch complied, rubbing against him harder, their bodies fitting together perfectly. "You're so warm," he murmured. He slipped his hands under Reid's hips, and began stroking him. Reid arched upwards into it, bringing Hotch in deeper and giving him more room to touch him.

They were moaning together, their breath coming out heavy and loud. Hotch had his other hand entangled in Reid's hair, pulling his head back towards him. He ground against him with abandon, forgetting Reid's comfort, forgetting everything except how it felt. Reid's moans in his ear, their wet kisses, Reid tight against him as he pushed in and out. Reid's whimpers rose in pitch. He reached back and grabbed Aaron's hair with one hand. The other slid down between his legs, to rest on top of Aaron's hand while he continued stroking.

"Hotch, I think, I think I'm coming," Reid moaned.

Aaron panted into Reid's neck, "me too."

Hotch drove himself into the younger man harder. He was moaning loudly, biting Reid's neck and kissing his thin shoulders. Reid let out a loud whimper, and came into Aaron's hand. His dick pulsed, his desire drained and throbbing out of him. The feeling of Reid's orgasm in his hand made Aaron lose any control he'd tricked himself into thinking he had. He came hard inside Reid, still pumping into him softly as he moaned. His fingers ran up and down Reid's back. The orgasm had almost hurt, it was so strong. It felt amazing, feeling the tension leave him, relieved by Reid's body.

They both stopped moving finally, exhausted from each other. Their breathing slowed and quieted, and reason took over Hotch again. The guilt was not far behind.

He pressed his forehead against Reid's back, and began to cry.

"What's wrong?" Reid tried to look behind him. "Hotch?"

Hotch shook his head. Words failed him. He entwined his fingers with Spencer's and squeezed. He had just given Spencer what he wanted. He had made love to him, and, though he couldn't tell Spencer, it had meant something to him. It meant everything. But he couldn't say anything. He wanted to tell Reid he loved him. What would it mean now? After last night, after he had hurt him like that. He could pretend it was, as Reid said, the only way he knew to express his feelings, but he knew that was a lie. He was a coward. He had already hurt the one man he had ever loved, who loved him. He didn't deserve it. You were supposed to protect the person you love, not violate and humiliate them.

Hotch's tears slowed. The euphoria had faded, and it left him feeling empty and cold. "Where do we go from here, Reid?" He took a deep gasp as he tried to stop himself from crying again. He gently kissed Reid's fragile body. "What happens now?"

The End

Thanks to everyone for the reviews! I really hope you liked it. I'm going to write more Hotch/Reid soon. I love them together quite madly :D Thanks for bearing with me as I try to get back into slash fiction!