PROLOGUE

Pained fear set into his eyes as the realization of where her questions were ultimately leading sank in.

No…! Rikku, please! Don't ask me that…!

"Are you…" she started hesitantly.

"Am I what…" he said shakily, failing miserably to stop his fear showing in his voice.

The young Al Bhed sighed shakily before saying, "Unsent…?"

"…"

Even though he had suspected this was where all the other questions had been leading towards, it still managed to throw him off into stunned silence. And as the tears became apparent in the Al Bhed's eyes, he was positive that if his heart were still beating, it would surely have stopped from the excruciating pain writhing inside him. He couldn't bring himself to say it, but the look in her eyes told him that his nonverbal response had more than sufficiently betrayed the terrible truth.

She brought a shaky hand to her mouth, "Oh my…God…!"

X.X.X.X.X.X.X

It's been almost two years since that day and I still feel the pain of how my heart broke when I found out the truth about the man who I had believed had always been more than honest with me. He had never thought of me as a heathen and had barely even hesitated in his decision to allow me to join in the Guardian side of Yuna's Pilgremage. So, other than Tidus, who was so obviously devoted to Yunie by the time we next met, Auron was the only other non-Al Bhed man who had gone out of his way to be kind to me. And all these things had slowly caused my already high opinion of him to become a confusing swirl of emotions that I could only pray didn't turn out to be love feelings. Growing up as an Al Bhed I had quickly learned I would always have terrible luck when it came to human relations, and when I wasn't having it, I would most likely be viewed by others as being the epicenter of bad luck. I should have known that this time would be no exception. But, you have to understand that I was only fifteen and more than just a little naïve. So, it shouldn't be all that hard to believe that I wouldn't assume my eventually pursuing Auron as more than just a friend would be such a disasterific plan. Which of course, had only made it that much more painful when it had become just that…an utter disaster.

However, after it had become clear to him that I had figured out his secret without him actually flat-out telling me and I could no longer fight back the tears from the anticipation that my suspicions might be right, Auron had apologized and had then tried to explain why he hadn't told me the truth from the start… But I had already turned away and was running out the door. I escaped to the only place on my Pop's airship that I knew no one would find me. The moment I had stepped out onto the ship's outer flat surface and the door had slid closed behind me, I fought off the urge to collapse and instead slowly and carefully sat down as the tears silently cascaded down into my still trembling hands. I was eventually found nearly an hour later and didn't have to look to know my bad luck had just gotten worse. But when I finally did turn around, I found myself staring in bewilderment at the impossible large bruise now covering the right side of his face.

When I asked him about it he had told me it was a courtesy from my Pops for breaking his only daughter's heart.

An apologetic smile was my only response to that, but he seemed to take that to mean that he could say more.

Apparently, Pops had seen me making a quick exit from Auron's room (though at that moment he wasn't aware that it was Auron's room, so it hadn't occurred to him that I was upset about a guy, much less, one that was nearly twice my age). So, when he had seen Auron exit the same room and start to rush after me, Pops quickly put two and two together and did what any crazed overprotective father would do…that's right, Pops knocked the Legendary Guardian flat on his ass like he was nothing more than another Yevonite trying to crush the spirit of his only daughter. He apparently had also said something along those same lines. Auron then added that the only reason everyone else hadn't also discovered what he was from Pops trying to murder someone who was already dead, was because Yunie, at that very moment, pushed through the growing throng of onlookers to intervene and to gently demand why her uncle, my Pops, felt it necessary to annihilate one of her Guardians.

But anyway, the gist of it was that, Yunie, after being told what had happened, mostly by Pops shouting seething threats at Auron, had calmly convinced Pops that, even though Auron had obviously made a grave mistake, he still owed me an explanation whether or not I wanted to hear it or Pops wanted to let him.

So there we were; Auron sitting there, sporting a nasty bruise, and me waiting for, yet dreading, what was apparently coming next…the explanation that I seriously doubted would turn my luck around.

"Rikku, I never meant for this to happen, I thought I had taken every precaution to prevent this," he had said, only now there was sadness mixed in with that hint of fear. The confused look in my eyes must have convinced him to continue, "You must have noticed that I mostly keep to myself. But with you I… I had thought that by remaining distant and cruel that I could prevent anyone taking a liking to me. It had never occurred to me that you would somehow bypass my every attempt at staying hidden. I had been so convinced that my plan had worked that I had completely failed to notice how your constant optimism and unrelenting compassion for all who were around you had somehow slowly begun to change me. And suddenly there was this brand new need more powerful than the previous desperate need to remain invisible. Now I wanted to be seen and I wanted the first person to see me to be you. But I also knew telling you that would be the worst possible thing I could do. I had tried to deny that I was feeling anything of the sort, but it quickly had become clear that it was utterly pointless. It was painfully obvious that I had completely fallen in lo-"

"Don't," I had placed a gentle finger on his lips to stop him, "Please…"

"But, Ri-"

"No," snapped softly, "Don't…!" I had then let my finger carefully trace the contours of his stubbly face before saying in a way-more-calm-than-I-felt voice, "You agreed to let me be Yuna's Guardian because you believed me to be intelligent and capable but mostly because you knew I would never allow any harm physical or emotional to befall her. I also know that you knew I was an Al Bhed before you even made your final decision, so you must also have realized that being what I was, I might try to stop the Pilgremage at any given moment." My calm faltered momentarily. "So please, don't have me let you down by causing me to fall apart right here before you. We have to stay strong for Yuna, at least until she gives you your sending."

Auron had looked down at me quite shocked to say the least.

"Don't act so surprised, Auron… You're not the only great judge of character in this group."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X

And then after the fighting of Sin, Tidus' dad and Yu Yevon was past us, all the unrelenting determination to protect Yunie and keep her alive, finally didn't seem necessary now that the man who so obviously still loved me even though I had basically told him to give up on me, was being surrounded by Pyrflies brought on by the now High Summoner Yuna's Sending, that would ultimately send him to the Farplane, the land of souls. He was about to cease existing and here he was giving us each a final bode of confidence. But when his eyes locked onto mine, and his words seemed to get caught in his throat; it was in that moment that I understood what my mother had meant by it being better to have loved and lost than to have never experienced it at all. So then, surprising quite a few of my fellow guardians, I found myself running towards him and throwing myself into his still corporeal embrace. There was just no way I could ever let him fade out of existence thinking that there was even the slightest chance that I had given up on him.

"Rikku, I never thought…I never meant to hur-"

Before he could apologize for something that I now saw had never really called for it, I had interrupted by placing my index finger against his lips and saying, "Auron, I think we were all afraid of losing someone on the way to this day…so I also think that that made it harder for us to remain brave without having to hide behind some kind of façade. But eventually it became less scary and soon instead of turning away out of fear we started turning to each other for comfort. Yunie had Tidus… Lulu had Wakka… Kimahri was more than content now that Yunie finally had in her life, someone to draw strength from. And that just left you and me… You have to understand…that the only reason I had managed to stay so optimistic was because of all the strength you would send my way whenever I would falter and because I was positive you would never let me fall."

Auron cupped my cheek with his left hand but I could no longer feel his touch, and this greatly frightened me, but I wouldn't let him see it. Apparently, the Pyrflies thought now would be the moment he should decorporialize. This is just too much… I thought I could remain brave until the very end. I guess I'm not as strong as we had both thought.

I collapsed to my knees, unaware that Auron had silently dropped to his. "This can't possibly be considered fair," I sobbed. I could sense Auron was trying to comfort me and I could almost feel his great irritation as he miserably failed again. "Auron, you have done so much for me, and now…and now I'll never have a chance to return the favor."

"Rikku," said the soft gruff voice, "You already have."

I had then looked back up just in time to see him wearing the first genuine smile since I'd known him, before his own Pyrflies gathered and vanished all that remained of my strength.

. . . . . . . .

All I can guess is that I must have blacked out, 'cause the next thing I knew I was waking up in a bed in Besaid. The first person I had seen was Yunie and the sheer look of despair in her mismatched eyes told me that she completely understood my misery. Tidus must not have made it either… Even though we finally managed to vanquish Sin…Sin still managed to kill a part of us both… Yunie had then sat on the floor next to the bed and then, as though suddenly sensing that we both needed it, she pulled me into her warm embrace and the instant I was protectively encased in her arms I sobbed for what would be the last three hours I would cry for the next two years.

And now here I was, those two years later, spending my last night in Besaid before finally going back to the now completely rebuilt Home! Yuna and Tidus (that's right! He came back, courtesy of the Fayth as a thank you to Yuna for saving Spira a second time) and Paine and Buddy, Brother, Shinra and the rest of the gang were hanging out by a bonfire celebrating the completion of Home. However, I decided to just tell them that I was tired and was heading to my hut, and they all stared at me in concern, but Yuna seemed to understand and told them it would be all I could do to ensure that I would be awake enough to fully appreciate Home in its renewed glory. This day, however, held one more smaller significance for me…and since I seemed to be the only person Auron had actually told I decided to remain the only person who knew. I didn't actually have anything of Auron's to remember him by, so by keeping this special day a secret each year, it was sort of like having a part of him with me.

I blew out the candle on the bedside table, finally thankful for the Home Party, since it meant I would most likely have this hut to myself for nearly the entire night. I wandered over to the hut's entrance and peeked out at the party's progress. Pops was, of course, chasing after Brother who had set our Father's pants on fire while practicing a spell that Lulu had taught him. That is until Tidus tackled Pops to the ground in a desperate attempt to put out the fire. I shook my head while chuckling to myself and walked back over to the bed and lied down.

I looked out the window then and softly whispered, "Happy birthday, Auron," before finally resting my head back on the soft pillow, completely unaware that the next time I awoke it would be to another confusing bout of terrible Al Bhed luck.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X