~how to survive with Cybertronians~

Yes, another rule list! But I had so much fun reading everyone else's I had to make my own. This was inspired by the many others I've read

#1: when the alarm mysteriously goes off, don't 'accidentally' spill marbles in the corridors.

(It was like watching giant robot dominoes)

(Prime and Megatron were not amused)

(I was put in solitary confinement for a month)

#2: Don't let the Chevy twins watch Jackass

(When they say 'do not try this at home' that includes robots!)

(All my Jackass DVD's have disappeared)

(I'm still looking for them)

#3: Don't try and hide from Ratchet's check up days

(Ratchet can make you show up)

(Let's just say he has his ways...)

(hurtful ways)

#4: Never call Star scream Megatron's bitch

(Even though he would make a good femme)

(I was made target for the day)

#5: Autobots aren't patient in traffic jams

(Ironhide wanted to blast all the cars in front of him)

(Sideswipe wanted to do a sideways wheelie in between the cars)

(I warned him if he did I would chuck all through his inside)

#6: Don't get any Cybertronian to do your homework

(I got in trouble from my teacher, I didn't know why)

(When I got back to the base I found out why...

(Curse Wheelie and Brains for writing the answers in Cybertronian!)

#7: Don't ask if a Cybertronian can transform into something cooler

(Two of the 'Bots sulked)

(Barricade glared at me)

(One of the new recruits came back with a new Alt mode)

#8: Even if it's to save your life, don't tell anyone who you really are

(You will get some funny looks)

(Someone even asked me if I needed help to the nearest mental hospital)

#9: No transformer is to transform in public

(Bumblebee, this includes you too)

(Although you did give that guy a scare when he tried to dent your bonnet)

#10: Don't tell the twins that mini cupcakes are really miniature cakes that were created to take over the world

(You should've seen their faces)

(An hour later I couldn't find any cupcakes)

(I couldn't find the twins either)

#11: MY CALCULATOR KNOWS ALL!

(Don't say anything otherwise)

(I bummed out Mudflap with maths equations)

(HE STOLE MY CALCULATOR!)

#12: Don't let any transformers (not including humans) have earth pets

(I swear Jolt has a secret problem with cats)

(We had to remove at least 65 of them out of his quarters)

(He locked himself in there for a month)

Rule 13: 'Shaun of the Dead' is not to be watched around Ratchet

(He doesn't understand Zombies)

(Try not to explain to him either)

(You'll get wrenches thrown at you)

#14: Don't make up nicknames for the Cybertronians, unless they provide you with some

(I called Sunstreaker Sunny, Sunshine, and Buttercup...)

(He chased me around the base for an hour)

(Sideswipe couldn't stop laughing)

#15: When the robots are recharging do not put magnets all over them

(When Dino woke up he glitched at his reflection)

(Ironhide had a massive twitch)

(Ratchet high-fived me for my work)

#16: When humans eat we do not like gross noises

(Just because you can't eat the food)

(Doesn't mean you can put us off it)

#17: no skateboarding around the base

(I swear I didn't see Starsceam in front of me)

(Scream now has a dent the shape of me on his back)

(He made me his target again)

(I nearly died!)

#18: Don't let Que have any earth animals in his lab

(I saved a bunny from being his next test subject)

(I nearly gave it back when it bit me)

#19: Cybertronians don't appreciate having stickers put all over them during charging

(Of course they blamed me for this)

(Skids had flames, sideswipe had bullet holes, and Prowl had pweety unicorns)

(I found out later that Prowl covered my room in stickers)

#20: Don't ask if Barricade and Prowl are brothers

(Prowl glared at me)

(Barricade ignored me)

(So is that a no?)

#21: If I'm reading... DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!

(You heard)

(I feel a bit sorry for the new recruit)

(He ran to Optimus and glitched)

(That was a funny day)

(Even if I was grounded)

#22: Don't ask Starscream if he's a femme

(His voice goes really high)

(He made me his target)

(Yet again)

#23: Don't try and drive any 'Bot in their Alt mode

(I surprisingly suck at driving)

(I nearly crashed into one of the base jets)

(Luckily 'Bee corrected himself)

#24: Don't tell civilians that you personally know giant alien robots

(Leo was nuts!)

(He swore that he did to an elderly lady"

(She whacked him over the head with her handbag)

#25: Telling bumblebee that every Cybertronian needs a theme song isn't recommended

(He went around the base with his radio going)

(He changed the song whenever he saw another robot)

(It was 'Bob the builder' for Ratchet)

(Dinosaur' for Sentinel)

(And 'Knock out' for Ironhide)

#26: I'm not allowed to look up at the sky and say 'I'm waiting for the flying monkeys' when I'm asked what it is I'm doing

(Bumblebee backed away slowly)

(Skids's optic twitched)

#27: Calling the mini bots 'midget' is not a good idea

(Because they're still taller than me)

(And they ganged up to stare me down)

(I felt so small)

#28: No using me as your hologram!

(I got a letter saying I owe the government...)

($1500 in parking tickets)

($2300 in speeding)

(And I'm wanted at a mental place for questioning because I was yelling at my car)

(Hey, he wouldn't open the door!)

#29: If you like life, don't call any of the Decepticons 'cowards'

(I had no idea Shockwave was listening in)

(He chased me around the base firing his cannon at me)

(I'm just glad to be alive!)

#30: Don't tell anyone 'I know something you don't know'

(They will bug you until you tell)

(They never cracked me)

(My sanity was questioned)

#31: Bubblegum is banned from the base

(Many things happen)

(To name a couple..)

(Someone stuck bubblegum in my hair)

(Not funny!)

(I stuck gum on Mudflap's wheel)

(Now that was funny)

#32: It's not a good idea to tell Wheelie and Brains that TV's were created to brainwash humans

(My bad)

(All the TV's disappeared)

(I couldn't find Wheelie or Brains for a while)

#33: You won't win a staring contest with any of the Cybertronians

(I tried to stare down Ratchet)

(I failed miserably)

#34: Don't joke to the mini bots that the TV remotes are Decepticon double agents in disguise

(I had never seen Skids retreat so fast)

(I wanted to change the channel to find the remote was gone)

(Jazz and I found it)

(In a million pieces)

#35: Card games are not allowed unless a human is present

(Jazz thought it would be funny to do a Texas shuffle)

(It was raining cards!)

(Me, Sam and Leo had to pick them all up)

#36: Again, don't interrupt me when I'm reading!

(I made a mistake of telling Brains that some human fiction books tell terrible stories about flying clocks that chase everyone)

(His face was priceless)

(He left me alone after that)

(I threw my old analogue clock out the window to add drama)

(I heard a really high pitched scream)

"Starscream nearly busted down my door)

(I cracked up when I saw the dent in his face plate)

(He, yet again, made me his target)

(He aimed closer that time!)

#37: Please, don't quote Dick Figures

"It was a bee or something!"

"Is that a giant Turtle!"

"I'm Batman"

"Your name sounds like Loser"

"OMG! A Raccoon! Natures ninja"

"Okay, that last one was weird"

"It was a cat!"

#38: Try not to get impounded

(Poor Ironhide)

(Optimus nearly short circuited when he got the phone call)

#39: Don't try and Badass Ironhide

(It will end in defeat)

('Hide will taunt you)

(It will be bad)

#40: Do note: there are cameras all around the base

(You can't get away with anything without being caught)

(Prowl will have evidence if you say you didn't do it)

#41: Hiding in 'Primes trailer is not allowed

(It was the best hiding spot EVAH!)

(No one found me for ages)

(It got a bit lonely)

(It was also very, very dark)

#42: Don't ask the minibots 'pardon? What?'

(They will get stuck in cute mode for hours)

(They run around the base saying 'awww cute')

(I made a mistake of saying that when I didn't understand what 'Prime said)

(I was running for my life!)

(I was being chased by cute infested mini robots)

#43: Don't joke around with Dino that there's hot cars showering

(He short circuited)

(I forgot to look out for Soundwave's cameras)

(Of course Optimus found out)

(He got Prowl on my case)

(I'm not allowed to be alone with Dino for a while)

#44: Paintball guns are now banned

(I kept firing at the Decepticons)

(Starscream looks better in pink)

(He threatened me that he'll make me his target again)

(I threatened him I'd turn him into Barney)

#45: Don't let Wheelie get a hold of the electric scissors

(Need I say more?)

#46: Starscream is the Flying Dorito of Doom!

(My friend came up with that one)

(Whenever she's around we stalk him and call him the 'Flying Dorito of Doom!')

#47: Don't steal candy from the sparklings

(There will be a lot of screaming)

"And pulling of hair"

"Oh, and don't get caught"

"You may be duct taped or welded to the ceiling"

#48: Never say to Jazz that Rap stands for, Retards Attempting Poetry.

"He didn't talk to me for a month"

#49: Head banging is forbidden

(Ratchet thought our brains might get bruised)

(Aren't they bruised enough already?)

#50: Don't run up to any 'Bot saying you have nanites in your arms

(Jazz froze)

(I asked him if he was ok repeatedly)

(He assured me he was)

(Then he glitched)

(Prime found out and locked me in my room for a couple days)

There you go! Hope you enjoyed it! If you have any suggestions, feel free to mention them!