NOTES: Think very early in the series.

Rukia was like, a midget.

Ichigo knew this to be true.

He was scared of her anyway. He responded to this fear by baiting her incessantly.

"You are vicious. You are awful. You are an agent of despair and chaos."

Rukia looked over her shoulder at him, deep blue eyes narrowed. Ichigo looked at his shoes.

"Less talking, more slave labor," she ordered, and went back to her magazine. He wondered what she was reading about. The idea of Rukia catching up on the latest celebrity gossip or trending hairstyles struck him as deeply unnatural.

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

"I can," she flipped a page, and began eating his sandwich, taking tiny, tiny bites. Ichigo stared. He seriously considered throwing a tantrum. Sandwiches were kind of a big deal.

"Stop that," he said, which was a pretty good summary of what he was actually thinking. Rukia ignored him. He put down his pencil. Terrifying or not, he was still twice her size, and she was eating his sandwich. That was just ridiculous and in violation of several manly principles, he was almost mostly sure.

"What are you doing?" Rukia's attention flicked back to him, a scowl creasing into her mouth, "I assigned you a purpose, and that purpose is my math homework. Are you really so weak as to fail in even this most mundane of tasks?"

She shook her head, and went back to her magazine. "You're the district's shinigami in my stead. You've got to do better than that, Ichigo."

Ichigo gaped at her. The nerve. "You can't even multiply numbers."

"Be silent."

"You're like an infant!"

Rukia whipped around, bunching her magazine into a baton. Ichigo caught a flash of some article about sharks. It figured.

"And you," she hissed, "Are an absurd little boy who cannot manage to follow the orders issued him by his direct superior!"

He waited for her attack, but she deflated almost immediately, and turned smartly away, "Really, Ichigo. Must I teach you everything?"

Ichigo's face twisted, and he silently stuck his tongue out, before returning to her math homework.