Well Hi XD

Please forgive me if this sucks and/or is ooc/ doesn't make sense

I hope you like it

WARNING : Self harm/ Cutting DO NOT READ IF TRIGGER

4 months ago

Red.

It was red.

The liquid spilled from him veins rapidly as he dragged the sharp edged metal down his wrist. It was the first time he'd done it, and he seemed in a trance as the skin broke under his own hands. Suddenly he came back to himself and realised what he was doing, throwing the razor tainted with his blood away from him he broke down sobbing.

Present

"Blaine?" He left a pause for his boyfriend's reply that didn't come. "Blaine sweetie?" Kurt waved a hand in front of his face beginning to get worry. They had been sitting in the Warblers meeting when Blaine had suddenly gone tense and pale begun to shake. Wes ended the meeting realising there was something terribly wrong with his friend. Now Kurt sat with an arm around the lead Warbler softly calling him back to the room. Nick and Jeff stood nearby glancing at each other anxiously; David sat the other side of Blaine gently touching his arm, and Wes sitting on the edge of the couch with an expression of worry on his face.

"Blaine, man, snap out of it!" David said desperately.

Blaine blinked and whipped his head around jumping up from the couch.

"What!" Slowly he sunk back down til he was sitting again. "Where is everyone?" Blaine asked confused.

Wes spoke up, "I ended the meeting when you went all pale and earthquake on us!"

"Earthquake? What - " Kurt cut Blaine off.

"You started shaking really badly and you're as white as a sheet" he took Blaine's hand in his own "It looked like you were having flashback or something."

Blaine froze again. No Kurt can't find out. He'll know I'm weak, he'll know I'm disgusting. Broken. I can't ever let him find out.

"BLAINE!" he jolted back with a jump. "Dude you're really scaring us ..." Blaine looked up to see Nick looking at him worriedly.

"S-sorry ..." Kurt rubbed small calming circles into Blaine's palms.

"Shh honey, don't be sorry we're just worried about you." Blaine looked back at Kurt who looked terrified as to what was bothering his boyfriend so much. It didn't help that he'd started to acting weird around 4 months ago. His friends had assumed that it was because it was the anniversary of the day he came out, or the day his parents stopped caring about him. Loving him.

"I'm fine guys I'm sorry I blanked on you, just a bit tired and hungry, low blood sugar "Blaine tugged slightly on the cuffs of his shirt. The action went unnoticed to all but Jeff whose eyes widened and struggled to keep quiet about his sudden realisation.

"Blaine can I talk to you quickly about the English essay Mr. Chapland set us?" Jeff squeaked

Blaine relived by the change of topic agreed and stood up walking out of the Warblers practice room, followed hastily by Jeff leaving the others behind.

Nick stared after his best friend wondering at his behaviour while Kurt was quickly becoming distressed.

"W-we tell each other everything..." he stuttered with a look of hurt in his eyes. David moved closer to Kurt and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Nick is there something up with Jeff? He got really fidgety just then." David asked the Warbler who was still staring at the door though which their two friends just walked.

"Not that I know of ... but I know what you mean"

Wes sighed, frustrated "This is a mess."

Blaine took a deep breath and put on a bright smile "So, English right. Well he said that we'd have to discuss the main themes -" Jeff cut him off

"Blaine stop." Jeff looked down wondering how to phrase the question he was about to ask

"What?" Blaine was confused; he thought Jeff needed help in English.

"Come with me" they walked in silence back to the dorms, Blaine was terrified of what Jeff knew. They walked through the door to Nick and Jeff's dorm and he turned and shut it behind them.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked with a forced innocent smile on his face. Jeff looked at him incredulously.

"Are you really gonna try that with me?" Jeff sighed "look ... I saw you, pulling at your sleeves" he paused, Blaine's heart speed up, his breath coming in shorter gasps. "Blaine, d-did you cut yourself ...?"

Blaine couldn't breathe, how could he know? He should lie ... he should tell Jeff he'd got it wrong. He should put of the 'Blaine Anderson smile' and lie through his teeth. But the point at which he'd started cutting is where he hit rock bottom and when you hit rock bottom it was pretty difficult to think of a reason for lying so he just let it out. Blaine fell to his knees and burst into tears. Jeff knelt down next to him and pulled him close trying to calm him down.

"Come on Blaine, calm down, breathe." He rubbed his back gently and rocked them back and forth comfortingly.

The group of Warblers entered the cafeteria all of their eyes immediately seeking Blaine and Jeff. But all four boys decided after a minute or so the two boys were nowhere to be found. This seemed to them a little strange so Nick offered to go find them knowing that Wes and David were closer to Kurt and he needed them right now. David was still holding Kurt's arm gently muttering comforts into his ear and steering him to a table as tears stained his face.

After about half an hour Blaine had calmed down and was breathing normally again.

"Any better?"

"M-much" Blaine sniffed. Jeff hesitated before asking his next question.

"Can I see?" Blaine tensed a little but nodded pulling up his sleeves to reveal around a hundred angry red lines. Some curved, some stuttered, they crossed, some were just beginning to heal over, some were more faded than others. It was obvious to Jeff that some were from years ago by the stark white lines left behind. What scared Jeff was the sheer amount of cuts. He'd never seen anyone's skin so marred. Jeff choked on his sharp intake of air and pulled Blaine into a tight hug stroking his back softly

" Blaine..." He begun sympathetically, but Nick chose that moment to push through the door.

" Jeff? Blaine? Are you-" He froze seeing the two boys huddled together on the floor. Blaine had his back to Nick so he couldn't see anything.

Nick's face hardened slightly and apologised for interrupting and backed out of the room. Jeff was still and just stared, but Blaine, realising what he had assumed, stood quickly cursing, pulling down his sleeves and wiping his face running after Nick calling his name.

"Kurt he's going through a rough time you know going home every weekend is taking its toll on him it's always worse on a Monday. You know about his parents being complete asses, well perhaps he's finally had enough? Just give him some time to work it out, he loves you. He always has and he always will, you can't doubt that!"

David gave up, he couldn't think of anything else to say to the boy. Truth was he had no idea about what was upsetting his best friend. But that didn't mean anything he said was less true. Blaine has spoken very little about his parents to his friends but Wes and David knew that they were homophobic and hated Blaine with a passion.

"David's right Kurt, you know he is." Wes sat down across from the pair, all three were wondering whether Nick had found Blaine yet.

"NICK! Nick!" Blaine ran down the corridor after him. Nick whipped round with a hard expression on his face and moved into Blaine personal space.

"What do you want Blaine? I'm not going help you cheat on Kurt too!" Nick spat at him "He's in the lunch hall crying because you won't tell him what's wrong when all that's wrong is YOU'RE CHEATING ON HIM WITH JEFF!"

"I'm not! I was - " Nick cut him off.

"No Blaine I don't want excuses! Kurt's my friend too and I don't think he'll be yours for much longer!" Nick stormed off leaving Blaine struggling for breath. This couldn't be happening! No he loved Kurt this was all Jeff's fault! He had to explain! He ran down the hall after Nick and tried to catch up with him but he got to the cafeteria a little too late.

"Look there's Nick! What's wrong he looks angry" Wes observed as Nick walked quickly over to their table.

" I take it you didn't find him then" Kurt said quietly looking down.

"Oh I found him" Nick said with disgust.

"Woah man calm down" David said surprised at his friend's tone, "What happened?" Blaine appeared at the doors, a little worse for wear with blood shot eyes and messy hair.

"He's cheating on Kurt, with Jeff." Blaine could hear the words from across the room, it was like time slowed down he saw the looks of horror flash across his friends faces and worse, Kurt, he saw the hurt look in his eyes before his face contorted in physical pain. And it broke him.

"NO!" Blaine rushed over pushing people as he went. Kurt looked into his eyes and burst out sobbing.

"No Kurt! I didn't!" Blaine began. Wes and David shot him a look of betrayal, before Wes shot up.

"HOW COULD YOU?" David rushed Kurt out of the room and Nick held Blaine back.

"You'll both be sorry for this" Nick said with venom pushing Blaine away from him, Blaine stumbled and reached out to Wes.

"I don't even know you anymore" Wes walked away from him. This is exactly what Blaine expected to happen when they found out about his cutting but it he didn't expect it to hurt this much. He looked around and saw they had attracted an audience. He choked on a sob and ran, ran as fast as he could to his car. He jumped in and locked the doors his vision blurred by tears