Okay we all saw it. I don't care if it was a training simulation gone wrong in Miss Martian's mind... we ALL saw how Wally reacted to Artemis' "death." He didn't even give half of a fuck about his Uncle Barry's death compared to hers, as a matter of fact, he screamed louder than Megan when Artemis bit the dust. First he gets angry, glaring at the bioship wall like some enraged beast, snarling and screaming profanities at the aliens. Then how he tries to justify she's still alive by saying, "they aren't disenigration rays they're teleporter rays." Wally doesn't want to loose her. He never wants to loose her. And it just came to light. He loves her with all his heart. Why else would he say "She's alive, she has to be. " And then address the others in an after though. She is his everything. Even after they woke up, when Martian Manhunter was talking about her death and she had her head bowed down, Wally looks at her all concerned. Don't get me started on her. She gave him a rebreather and put his arm in a makeshift sling when he broke his arm, which she never did for ANYONE else. There is so much sexual tension between them it's almost not funny, but this is a story about the after effects. A oneshot. On a side note... he looks better in his Arctic uniform, but that may be because I hate yellow.

The loss had crippled him, made him a greiver, it broke him into pieces under the stress of his uncontrollable emotions. Primal rage coursed through him, enducing bouts of vicious and blinding anger, making him lash out at his companions, or in other cases, inanimate objects. His thoughts had raced even faster than even he could process them. He was at war with himself, berating himself for being a coward for not running to save her, for not pushing her out of the way, for not being the one to be disenigrated so she could live, while his logical side told him he couldn't have predicted that that machine... that mechanical alien monster that had taken her from him would shoot and its beam would hit her.

The anger hit Wally quickly. The white hot rage slithered around inside, coiling around his irratically beating heart. He became the snarling beast he had never let himself be, ready to tear into that glowing, one eyed murderer with his own teeth, to rend that metal with his hands, and have it beg for his mercy. He wanted it to bleed and to be coated in it so he would no it would never take anything so valuable from him again. He slammed his fists into the bioship controls, the pain never reaching his brain, it couldn't compete with the crippling sadness in his heart. It had shattered him and he vowed that every last one of those aliens would die. Artemis would not die in vain. He wouldn't allow it. Kaldur, however, would not allow him the gratification of wallowing in his hatred, he would not allow him the grieve. All he had wanted to do was cry, Wally West just wanted to stop and curl into a ball until his tears turned as red as blood, he just wanted her back. He longed to wake up from this dream, this nightmare and go back to arguing with her, just to see the heat tint her cheeks pink and watch her perfect mouth form he fiery comebacks. Wally just wanted to stared into the silver flamed inferno of her eyes once more. Artemis could not be dead.

His denial overtook the rage, it consumed him even faster. Artemis wasn't dead, she was just teleported somewhere else. He knew she was, why hadn't he seen in before. "Hello Wally, she's just somewhere else." The place may not have been safe, but at least she was alive for him to rescue, for him to carry in his arms. He could be her safe place. His belief drove him, Wally had to find her, he just had to. He even comforted M'gann when Superboy had been vaporized, his faith was that strong... or rather the wool he had pulled over his own eyes was that thick. Until Robin smacked him in the face with the cold hard truth, they all were dead, the League, Uncle Barry, Artemis. They were all gone. The Boy Wonder couldn't find any of their bio signatures and Miss Martian couldn't hear there thoughts. Wally, ever the scientist, had been ready to argue. They could be held in a place that was blocking her telepathy, that was hiding their bio signatures somehow. They could be in suspended animation, their functions slowed down so they appear dead and their minds could be silent, forced into sleep. But even as he said them in his subconscious, Wally knew he had been wrong, he knew he had lost her.

The rage took him again, but he shoved it down. Anger would not help this suicide mission. He knew he would not be coming back from this alive, and the only comfort he had was he could be with her in death. When he stopped breathing the pain would stop and he wouldn't be aware of the hole in his heart anymore. If his last thought was how he stuck it to those monsters for her, he would die happy. Hopefully, he had reasoned, his dying, spasming mind would produce a fantasy world where he was with Artemis. She'd be smiling, blonde hair billowing behind her with her hand reaching out to him. When the explosion tore through him, he felt no pain, only relief and he grabbed her hand, gently squeezing and enveloping her into a warm hug. She had fit in his arms perfectly, before he was thrust back into his body.

Wally was mentally and physically exhausted, the light scorched his eyes but her forced them open. He found himself seeking her out, and releasing the breath he had been holding when he saw her hunched form, that was breathing raggedly, eyes closed in anguish but alive. Oh how he wanted to hold her, to comfort her and tell her how glad he was she was alive, how he wanted apologize for all their pointless arguments and just tell her he was so glad she was okay. Mostly though, he wanted to assure himself that Artemis was really there, to feel her meant she was tangible that she was really alive and he wasn't still in an hallucination. However, she didn't look like she wanted to be held, with her head bowed like that, he couldn't hep but be concerned. What was Artemis thinking about? What had happened to her while she was in a coma? Now he really wanted to wrap the archer in his arms.

Artemis was shivering though it wasn't even cold, this much he could make out from where he stood. The sweat dripped down her brow mixing with her silent tears that she probably though no one could see with her head down, but he could. It tore him in two to see her so distraught and hurt, however any words he had caught in his throat. Just why was he so concerned about her anyway. Sure he and she had become closer since Bialya, they fought less, they were voluntarily around each other more of the time and they could be considered friends. But why, why did he feel the need to hold her close and let her cry on his shoulder. Why did he get so worked up when he thought he lost her. He'd have to blind to not see the look of disbelief Robin shot him when he hastily added the others to his rant about her being alive to find as he tired to cover himself. Frankly he didn't give a damn about them, he wanted to make sure she was okay. He hadn't even gotten angry over the Flash's death, and he was his uncle. Artemis was just a girl, just a friend, but she was more important than everyone.

Now he was just sitting here in his bed, immobile, staring at the wall of his room, processing his thoughts. He wasn't even sure he blinked, though for all the stillness of his boy his mind was in a frenzy. What was she to him? He didn't want to imagine life without her, which is why he had tried so hard to convince himself she was was still alive in that alternate reality turned hell. When he thought he lost her it felt like his world has been ripped to shreads and left to fall around him. He felt like he had so much he wanted to tell her, he was so ready to scream at her for leaving him and tell him he never let her get hurt again. He was so ready to just hold her close. However, now he just felt like he was running a hamster wheel at super speed in his mind, with one word playing over and over. Artemis.

XXXXXXXXXX

Artemis was in hell. She had died, she watched as her own body vaporized, she felt herself fall into blackness, into the nothingness of a coma. For all she knew she was dead, gone, and floating in the netherworld her mind had created for her. But even in the ebony field of nothingness, she could hear the echoes of her friend's screams of her name, she could hear the anger in Wally's voice when he vowed to kill every last one of those damned extraterrestrial assholes. She could hear him saying her name, trying in vain to believe that she was still alive, that she was teleported somewhere. There was longing and hysteria in that voice, with underlying pain and sorrow, and she was forced to realize... he cared for her, more than she thought he did. Her name was always first on his lips and he spoke with such finailty. She found it odd he would speak of her that way before even his deceased family. Artemis was sure he stumbled to hide what he said a few times, tacking on they're all alive in a rush of words that couldn't even be half deciphered or taken seriously. It was plain to see the only thing on his mind was her.

It made her wonder, just what did he feel for her. He hadn't even shead a tear for The Flash, but here he was getting mad over her death, denying she was dead. Here he was grieving over her. She felt the knife twist in his heart as he had to face the truth, that she was never coming back, and reigning himself to accept it. She could hear frustrated growl, and she just wanted to hug him a hold him and let him know she was still there and beat Robin senseless for dashing his hopes like that. But she couldn't, she couldn't even feel her own arms or legs, she wasn't even sure she had them. She hated causing him this pain, and hated herself for being completely useless and helpless.

The explosion racked her earbuds with sound and blinded her black world white for a split second and she couldn't hear him anymore, and that scared her, made her heart clench in terrible anguish. He was gone too. She felt herself long to hear the deep soprano of his voice, to hear him crack one of his jokes, to hear him yell and scream and agrue with her. She missed what they had, the topsy turvy love hate relationship she had with the redheaded speedster, but now they couldn't have that, ever again.

The tears pricked her eyes, and she felt them running down her cheeks. Wally, he had grown her, she could imagine being without him, he was a force that was always there like gravity and if it ever ceased to exist global tragedy would ensue. Wally being gone, it could not happen, never. It left a gaping, painful rift inside of her. She felt lost and alone, even in this world of darkness she could feel the loss of him and it was worse that the numbness.

Revelling in her thoughts, she was wrenched from her mind and into a bright room of the cave. Immediately her eyes shut as she rolled of the cold, concrete slab she was laying on. She didn't even listen to explanation, all Artemis heard was something about her death caused Miss Martian to go crazy and actually believe the rouse which made them all believe it. This was her fault for dying, she sent M'gann into madness by getting herself killed and then slipped into a coma worrying everyone else. She did this.

Her head suddenly felt like it weighed a ton, and all she could do was hold into down in shame. The tears ran down Artemis' face and for once she didn't care about her image of being tough and sassy. She caused the most terrifying psychological event for the team, as she noted them all drenched in a cold sweat, pained and shivering with fear. This was her fault. She had made Wally feel that anger and grief, and he cared about her. She didn't deserve his care, she didn't deserve his grief. Wait... shouldn't that be their grief? The confusion weighed on her just as much as much as her shame and she just cried more. She couldn't bring herself to look at them, at Wally. After what she had done, getting herself killed, she didn't think she could ever look them in the eye again. But Artemis was used to being an outcast, she was used to having to work on her own, she just didn't want to anymore.

It had been so refreshing to actually have people she could lean on, that had her back, to work towards a goal with other people was something foreign to her but she found she liked it. She liked having them around, she liked being able to let her guard down just a little and not be on edge all the time. But she had endangered them. Why did it always seem she was a danger to everyone around her, to the people she cared for? Especially Wally. His anger, his denial, it cut at her. She spared a glance at him and saw he was staring at her, the concern gracing his features, which baffled her to no end. How, after all of this, could he still feel compassion for her, after all she had done? She didn't desrve it.

Artemis found herself on the couch, how she got there was beyond her. She was just rocking back and forth on the piece of furniture, clearly traumatized by all that happened. She replayed her death over and over, every detail, scrutinizing what she could've done different to stay alive, to stay with Wally so he wouldn't have been so angry and alone. She just wanted to be with him now, to comfort him. It was only right after all she had done. Moving, however, was hard. Her body just wanted to stay and wallow in self pity for the rest of the night, and her thoughts weren't helping. Artemis didn't think he would want to see her, that he had gotten over whatever insanity that caused him to waste his care for her in first palce; she expected him to blame her, and she didn't know if she could handle that. It was one thing to blame herself, but it felt so different for him to blame her, the very thought chilled her blood and made the tears fall even faster.

She knew one thing, if he was feeling anything like her, his thoughts were his enemy right now, and that being alone was probably eating him up inside; if she wasn't brave, Artemis was nothing. She would be the first to do what they all couldn't do. They all wanted to reach out, but they couldn't as they watched the deaths of their friends again and again and thinking how it would've been if it wasn't a simulation, if it was actually real. No one could bear that loss, they had all become brothers and sisters... even lovers in their own right, and they knew that they'd be taken away from each other eventually. Now they'd have to add an again to the end of that sentence, and the second time would be real. Right now though... they needed each other and someone had to make a move, someone had to try to make things normal again.

Getting up she walked down the corridor, straight to Kid Flash's room

XXXXXXXXXX

He could hear the footsteps before the inevitable knock sounded on his door. Slowly he cracked his limbs into a postion to get up and padded over to the door to tell whoever it was he didn't want to talk before closing the door in their face and laying back in his bed. What he wasn't expecting was a disheveled archer, blonde hair wild with strands coming out of it's usual haphazardly neat ponytail, with bloodshot grey eyes. He couldn't possibly tell her to leave after she braved the trek down here to talk to him, especially after thinking of her. He could hardly contain himself from pulling her close to him, but she looked like she would break under the pressure of what would surely be a bone crushing hug.

"Can I come in?" He moved out of the way to allow her enterance, a silent comply.

Artemis walked past his stiffly before turning to face him and starting her spiel with a sigh. "I know what happened today rattled us all, and you may not want to see me because it's all my fault for it anyway, but I wanted to see if you were okay. I don't like us being all messed up and disjointed, we're a team and need to work past this, and we can't do it by avoiding each other and hoping it gets swept under the rug. Please, Wally, just tell me you're okay."

Staring at her quietly, Wally appraised her breifly. She was trembling like a scared child, biting at her lip with her eyes downcast. She was Artemis, but the event had changed her, and he didn't like it at all. He wanted her fire back, but all he saw was ice. He had to fix this somehow, make her the way she was. He stepped toward her, and hugged her... she fit perfectly. She gasped, and despite all the tears she had already shed, she felt herself crying again into his broad sholder like a small girl. She was suddenly that child watching Chesire leave again, and she held onto Wally just wailing like banshee. Her arms shakily wrapped around in an attempt to return the gesture, and she cried more.

"Shh... it's okay. It's not your fault. How could you think that?" His voice was soft.

"B-B- Because I died, I got myself killed. It's all my fault, I made M'gann lose control... it was me, it was all me." She was sobbing now, breaking down in his arms. It felt so good to cry. She let it all out, pain from all the years hit her and Artemis felt herself reliving ever horror from her life. She let it go.

"That wasn't your fault it was all a part of the simulation it was supposed to get harder, it was supposed to test us as a unit and how we'd function without one of us.. if we could make up for what was lost. You were just unlucky to be first. If anything it should've been me." She stilled, sobbing ceased, though her body still hiccupped and spasmed as his hold tightned. "I should've protected you Artemis, I should've gotten you out of there and saved you from having that fate. It's my fault you died... mine. This happened because of me, and my incompetance."

"Wally!" Her voice was shrill when she pushed herself from him, his arms, his warmth in snger. "How can you say that? You would've died if you had done that. Do you know how I would've felt if you would've died because of me! The guilt would've been worse that it is now. I would've had to deal with being the direct cause of your death. I couldn't take it. I couldn't take being the reason you died, like I can't take feeling this way. I can't take feeling like I messed up, like I was the one who cause this all to happen. But if you added your death onto it... it would kill me Wally... I don't want to lose you!"

"AND I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE YOU!" He was angry now. How could she feel that way, couldn't she see it killed him to see her die, couldn't she see what it did to him? "I felt like someone ripped out my heart Artemis! You were gone! GONE! And I couldn't handle that, I need you around! I just wanted it all to be undone... I couldn't take it. I just wanted you here for me to argue with, for me to laugh with! I didn't even care half as much about my uncle and aunt dying before my eyes, as I did about your death! CAN'T YOU SEE I LOVE YOU!"

Her anger left her, and she stared at him. He was breathing hard at first, but then he looked sheepish and stared hard at the now interesting floor. Did she hear him right? Did he say he loved her?

"I love you Artemis, it took me losing you to figure it out. All I wanted was to have you back,. Do you know how relieved I was that this was a simulation? And you're blaming yourself. Artemis, I'm glad that you're here, I'm glad your alive and well, but I don't want to see you like this. To see you cry, to see you kick yourself, it hurts me. And it only makes it worse because I couldn't protect you, what if I can't protect you and next time... next it's real. I can't lose you again... I never wanted to lose you the first time."

She was struck mute. This boy, this redheaded angel love her. She was hyper aware then. Artemis counted everyone of his auburn lashes, every brown gold speck in his emerald eyes, and every freckle on his handsome face. She took in the unruly, yet spiked hard that had every strand in place in an organized mess. She took in his pectoral muscles straining through his too tight white beater that hugged his abdominal muscles, the way his hands were clenched in fists and introverted stance. He wouldn't look at her, but his words spoke volumes. He loved her. He actually loved her.

He took her silence for rejection and felt himself turn away to cry, until she spoke., "I could still hear you Wally. I could hear your pain. I was trapped in a world of nothing, but I could still hear you speak. Even though it was filled with hurt and hate, I was glad to have your voice, but then it stopped and I didn't even have that. I never want to hear silence again. As annoying as you can be I can't imagine life without your voice, without you." She tooks breath. "I love you too."

His head whipped toward her inhumanly fast, and he crossed the distance between him even faster. He stared at her, electricity crackling off of his body in want, in need, and his eyes bore into hers with such passion it scorched her soul. Then his lips were on hers, gentle and fierce at the same time. He was holding her like she would break, or he taking from him again. He needed to make sure this was real, that this was happening. He chewed on her bottom lip softly as his tongue raking over her lips, begging her for enterance. Shocked at first, Artemis responded with fevor, allowing him access. He explored every crevice of her hot mouth, bending lower and tilting her head back just a little more to reach the farthest corners.

Artemis flicked her tongue under the senstive underside, causing the most sinful groan to be ripped from his chest into their kiss. She tasted like cinnamon fire, sweet and spicy and he wanted more. She felt his hands slide down to grip her rounded bottom and knead it with his large hands while he pressed her closer to his chest in unbridled want. She lifted her own hands to his chest, feeling the contours of his abs, deep and defined with his runners physique. Needing the feel his flesh, she slipped her fingertips under his shirt, and felt the heat of his kin and hardness of his muscles.

He growled like a beast at the feather light touches of her soft hands against him, and grabbed her bottom particularly hard. He poured his fear, his need, and his love for her into the kiss. Her wanted her know he'd protect her as best her could, that he never leave her and let her fall. He'd alwasy be there with her. He wanted her to see his desperation for her, and how devestated he was when she was gone. So he kissed her like it was the last thing he would ever do. He held onto her like she was his lifeline. He would show just how much he really loved her.

Wally walked them to the wall, still kissing Artemis with all he had. She was closer her to him now, between the wall and his need with nowhere to go and no way to get waya from him. The kiss deepened futher as Artemis moved her hands to his fiery locks. His hair was soft as she tangled her fingers in it pressing him closer to her mouth. She didn't want to stop, if they did she might have to think about him being gone again.

The beast in him howled, he need to feel her now. He fipped her so her ass pressed against him, its soft firmness against his hard on. He ground into her, kissing her neck and sucking so hard he painted red splotches against the sunkissed tan of her skin. He here the moans coming from her that made him grind harder and slip hs hand under her shirt to cup her breast. He could feel the hardness of her nipple and he pulled and twisted it in a sadistic massage. His other hand slipped below her waistband into the hot space between her legs. He ghosted over the nub, teasing her with his rubbing. Artemis ground against his hand, not satisfied with what he was doing, irritated because of his teasing, and he knew. He smirked against her and slide a thick digit inside of her.

The intrusion ripped more moans from her throat as she gasped in rythm with his ministrations and groud harder into his palm. Wally was practically biting her neck and she loved it, the hard on against her ass was rubbing against her as he ground against her in turn. It was getting unbearably tight in his boxers, and the need to feel her clenched around him was becoming daunting. Ripping her from the wall he threw her to his bed before climbing on top of her. Wally allowed himself one moment to satre at the lovely flush on her face, her unbuttoned pajama top that revealed the lacy forest bra underneath. The bra that was pushing her breast up in the most alliring of ways. He couldn't wait anymore.

He tore the undergarment from her, he'd have to take her shopping to buy a new one after this, to suck one of the pert golden brown nubs. He swirled the tip of his tongue around her areola, his breath hot and shending shivers down her spine. Two digits were fervently stretching her wet sex, and she was screaming his name. It sounded so raw and ragged with her panting like she was, and he wanted her to say it louder. It egged him on. Trailing kisses down to her dripping wetness, he plunged his slick muscle inside her. It was still the same cinnamon fire of her mouth, just more acute to his taste buds. Wally licked her deeply, hands fondling her chest. Artemis pressed his head deeper and deeper as he tongued her clit. She saw the edges of her vision go white, she was about to burst. Of course at that time he stopped.

She opened her eyes, esctasy leaving toglare at him for even daring to think he could stop, when she say him positioning himself after pulling off her underwear. He leaned down and kissed her again. It was softer, more delicate as he thrust himself in. She understood at once he did it to help ignore the pain she'd feel. The tears pricked her eyes, but she kept kidding him as he thrusted slowly at first so she could get used to it. Her legs wrapped around him and she dug her heels into him, urging him to go faster, which he obliged. He thrust deeper and deeper each time and she could only rake her nails across his back and ravage his lips with her own. They were both so slick from sweat, and he hairtie was lost in the frenzy, freeing her blonde hair to billow around her.

The white seeped into her vision again, overtaking it completely as she screamed his name on final time as her came inside her, her name on his lips. They were both panting, and she kissed his boyish yet chiseled features in earnest sweetly. His head lay in the junction her neck and chest, beathing still heavy. When Wally regained some of his compasure he covered them both with the sheeted of his bed and held her tired form closer. She was half asleep, staring at him with half lidded eyes, eyes filled with love for him. Artemis smiled a small smile, before placing a kiss on his forehead and falling asleep, but not before muttering a tired, yet heartfelt 'I love you.'

He placed his chin on her head, her soft breath tickling his jugular. He'd keep her safe through the night and forever afterwards. He would protect her and would never go through what he went through today again. Never again would he lose her.

"I love you too." He meant it

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