Tag to Epilogue….. Just a little drabble. Sorry if the writing isn't very good… it just came to me today
~~CM~~
"You think Rossi will be in today?" Emily asked as she and Morgan exited the elevator and made toward the bull pen.
"Knowing Rossi, he'll wanna get back as soon as possible. I know I would."
"Yeah, me too."
"Wanna go see if he's in his office?
Emily nodded and Morgan led the way. He softly knocked the open door and walked in, seeing Rossi staring down at his desk
"Hey Rossi, how you doing? Morgan asked with soft concern
The older profiler looked up from the file on his desk... He had been reading the same piece of paper for the past twenty minutes.
He half smiled, "I'm ok."
"How did it go?"
As soon as the words left Morgan's mouth he felt awkward. It never felt quite right asking how a funeral went.
"It was... Well I guess it was nice. Just how she wanted it."
"I'm glad..."
Morgan glanced at Emily as he watched Rossi's eyes drop back down to the desk
"You sure you're ok?"
"Yeah, I just ... I just wandered if I did the right thing."
Emily quickly took a step past Morgan and perched at the edge of the seat across the desk from Rossi.
"For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing." She said quietly.
He looked back up to meet her stare.
"You do?"
"Yeah. She chose you for a Reason Rossi."
"What do you mean?"
"I can only go from my own experience, but when I was in that warehouse that day after Doyle left me, I was….. I was scared to death..."
Morgan flinched at her words. Words he wandered if her was ever going to hear. He leant back against the wall and folded his arms. His eyes bore into her, wanting desperately to hear her, but scared to listen.
He watched her take a deep breath and swallow hard.
"...I have honestly never been so scared in my entire life because I knew I was going to die alone. The world suddenly felt a thousand times bigger and I felt so insignificant. So empty. I suddenly regretted everything but would have changed nothing. I didn't want to die, but at the same time I did because there is no feeling like that feeling of darkness and pain and isolation. I just wanted it to be over..."
This was something she had wanted to say to the man stood behind her since she got back, but she hadn't had the guts. She could never find the right time or the right words. This was a bit of a cop out she knew. She was telling him but without looking him in the eyes... Those eyes that poured out pain and hurt... But this was the only way... For now….
"...When Morgan got there I suddenly felt as light as a feather, like the pressure on my chest had been lifted. Not because I thought he would save my life. I didn't believe that was possible, but because I wasn't alone anymore. Because he made me feel safe and suddenly I knew whatever was going to happen would feel ok, even if that was dying, because he was there. He held my hand and I felt as if I would never be alone again and somehow that felt ok and I was ready to..." She couldn't finish the sentence. She wandered if Morgan had ever told anyone what she had said to him that day.
She cleared her throat, "…Caroline chose you because that's how you made her feel Rossi. You made her feel safe. Whatever you had with her, how ever long ago, was special."
He smiled at her, this time a genuine warm smile.
"You think?"
"Most definitely"
He nodded, "Thanks Emily."
Smiling in response, she stood up. She turned and her eyes locked with Morgan's. She could tell he was right back in that warehouse, remembering... This was why she couldn't bring herself to talk to him about it. The pain on his face the first time he saw her after finding out she was alive…... It was like every time something was mentioned, it hurt like that all over again... For both of them.
After staring at him for a few seconds she looked away, lost for words once again. She went to walk toward the door, but as she did, she felt his hand on her arm. She turned to face him,
"But you didn't get to choose" He almost whispered, his eyes pleading for answers finally.
She looked down momentarily and then met his stare once again, "No. I didn't get to choose…. But honestly? If I did, I wouldn't have wanted it to be anyone else Derek. You make me feel safe. I know you'd never of let me down."
Feeling the intensity and knowing Rossi could probably do with being alone, she gave Morgan a small smile and carried on walking. As she got through the door, she just about heard Morgan's raspy voice utter, "I never will…"