A/N: Requested by crunchydill on Tumblr, who wanted Dick trolling Artemis at school with some help from Barbara.

This be PART 3 of Satellites on Parade's Routines, which takes place on Monday, and Jncera's T is for Tuesday, which as you may have guessed takes place on Tuesday. Both of these are absolutely hilarious. If you haven't read them before this, GO DO IT! RIGHT NOW! I can wait. This is my lowly attempt at bandwagoning onto their amazingness.

I blame Jncera for the ensuing nonsense. She made me an offer I couldn't refuse ;)

Disclaimer: If I owned YJ, there would be some serious trolling of Artemis at Gotham academy by these two brats ;)


This Week's Forecast: WTF


It was a well-known fact that after Tuesday, the rest of the week read WTF. Wednesday was the poor, unloved middle child, always being overshadowed by the doldrums of Tuesday and the passive aggressiveness of Thursday that eventual led to the golden child of Friday.

It was usually perched on this metaphorical weekly hill that Artemis wished she could fast forward to Friday afternoon.

She arrived at the academy that morning to find her locker stuffed to the brim with "Welcome to Gotham Academy" pamphlets. Then Dick had somehow managed to score her detention in their history period while he got off scott-free, and Babs had swapped out her long, boy shorts for ridiculously short shorts before gym class. Curse that girl and her ability to crack combination locks! Was nothing sacred?

Someone should really grant her wish and make a time machine to spare her this nonsense. Perhaps she could talk the resident nerd into building her one? Speaking of which…

I'm pretty sure the class thinks there's a thunderstorm brewing in the back of the room. My stomach's growling. Again.

Artemis rolled her eyes at the incoming text message. Oddly enough, it was only the third text Wally had sent her so far (she was fairly certain he was still stewing over the comment made by his friends yesterday that KF and Artemis would make the perfect couple).

It wasn't like Artemis had missed his twenty billion texts before 10 AM or anything. Hell no! It saved her a lot of headache and distraction. She could actually recall everything from the first half hour of chemistry class. The last half had been spent doodling lightning all over the margins of her notes…which was entirely due to the fact that the instructor was covering molecular charges…never mind where the circles surrounding the bolts came from…

If anything, she should be thanking Wally's friends for the brief repose. Although she really hoped the similar topic from yesterday's lunch at her table had been permanently dropped, never again to resurface.

But there was something suspicious about the entire state of affairs. What were the odds that Wally, of all people, would be in the exact situation as her at the exact same time? Her statistical knowledge had never been solid, but Artemis was pretty sure no one in their right minds would have bet on it.

She had a theory. A warped, totally cracked, never in a million years could this be possible, reckless theory. A truly dumb idea (Wally would be so proud). And she was going to put it to the test.


For once, Artemis had arrived at their vaguely established lunch table before her two friends. Dick appeared suddenly, as Artemis had grown accustomed to him doing, prime rib and salad in hand. Artemis took a picture of the meal to send Wally, looking up from her phone and finding herself face to face with Barbara, who was digging into her pasta. Time to test the theory.

"So…"Artemis began, the words rolling off her tongue in what she hoped was a casual manner. "I was thinking about our conversation yesterday and—"

"You admit that you and Kid Flash are soul mates?" Dick interrupted, his blue eyes sparkling with humor.

"No," Artemis told him in a tone that left no room for argument, ignoring the vibration of her phone informing her that her picture message had been received by Kid Flash and had not been appreciated. "I think—"

"That Kid Flash and Green Arrow's new sidekick would be perfect for each other?" Babs quipped.

"NO!" Artemis snapped, irritated that the two had started to troll her before she could get a word in edgewise. "If the television reports are accurate, the only person compatible with Kid Flash is Kid Flash's reflection."

"Touché," Dick grinned, looking at Barbara. If Artemis didn't know better, she would have thought they were communicating telepathically, exchanging tactics on how best to torment her. She took advantage of their momentary lapse in attention to continue.

"ANYHOW…I was thinking about what you both said about Justice League couples, and I think Robin would actually look adorable with Zatanna." She paused for effect, minutely observing her younger friends' expressions.

Dick laughed, but Artemis swore on M'gann's brownies that Barbara's eyes had narrowed half a fraction before she turned to face her partner in trolling. Dick, for all his boyish charm, probably did not notice the subtle glare radiating from the red head.

"Why are you laughing, Dick? Do you think Artemis is right?" Bab's voice was almost casual, keyword being almost. Artemis caught the subtle jab—a slight lilt to the tone in which her friend said Dick's name. Artemis mentally chalked it up as a victory in her favor before turning back to the two teens opposite her, lunch forgotten.

"Wha-?" Dick coughed, coming to the slow realization as only boys could that something bad had transpired without his notice. "I mean, they're probably just good friends, right?" The last question caused his voice to crack. Artemis grinned.

"I don't know…" the archer drawled, twirling a loose end of blonde hair. "I mean, have you seen them together on news reports and in the paper? Definitely a compatible couple in my book."

Dick and Babs were doing the silent communication look again, but Artemis could see the distinct discomfort on the boy's face. "Compatible? Naw…They're definitely 'patible. Nothing 'com' about it." Nothing calm indeed.

"And besides, isn't Robin interested in Batgirl?" Babs asked lightly, twirling a fork in her noodles.

"Who?" Artemis quipped, enjoying stoking their fire for a change, letting loose the nest of hornets that didn't belong to her.

"Batgirl," Barbara bit out stiffly. "You know, she works with Batman? And sometimes Robin?"

"I don't think I've heard of her," Artemis lied, and for once, the two younger teens didn't catch it.

"She is pretty whelming compared to Robin—ouch!" Dick yelped as Bab's fist made contact with his shoulder.

"Yeah? I bet she could pwn Robin her sleep," the red head quipped, sending a challenging look down her nose at the boy.

"Sure, if Robin was tied up AND asleep she might have a chance," he grinned.

Artemis sighed contentedly, finally able to eat her lunch without being trolled. Perhaps, if she was feeling particularly snarky, she might even pull the disappearing act and leave the two freshman to their own devices.

Barbara socked Robin in the arm again, and Artemis had a brief feeling of deja-vu before glancing down at the last message from Wally.

I loathe you so much right now.

A slow, evil smirk danced across Artemis face. She observed the pair across from her, still arguing Robin vs. Batgirl, before quietly leaving the table and making her escape. Suddenly, her ridiculous theory didn't look so farfetched. She typed a message back to Wally.

Revenge is a dish best served on Wednesdays.