Not part of the "Things Go Too Far" series! This is even more insane! OOC cos I had to make things fit the song.

Before you start the actual story, I must explain, mainly on behalf of my honour. I was listening to a load of old songs, and I came across "Goodness Gracious Me". Despite the fact the Dr is blatantly Indian I immediately thought of Clarkson and Isobel. Having mentioned this to Lavender and Hay, it was decided I should write a crack/song fic based on it. I don't blame you if you hate it! Helkkari, even I think it's weird…

Isobel felt things had gone on far too long. Every weekend she would go and help Dr Clarkson, and although he was very grateful for her assistance he never displayed more affection than that. He showed more compassion to sick men he'd never met before than to her! Gathering her skirts purposefully, she marched into the hospital.

"Oh doctor- I'm in trouble." She sank onto a chair and looked up at him. Clarkson looked her up and down. She seemed fine, but then, you never could tell with women. Caught unawares, he could only answer with-

"Well goodness gracious me."

This was not the reply Isobel wanted. A bit less shock and a bit more worry would be nice.

"Every so often, about once or twice a week, my heart begins to race so fast I can barely breathe. My face gets flushed and I often go weak at the knees."

"Oh dear." The doctor took out his stethoscope and twiddled it between his hands. "When did this trouble start?" He placed the stethoscope over her heart and listened. He was met by a thunderous 'boom-bidid-boom-bidi-boom'.

"Goodness gracious me. You weren't joking, were you?"

Isobel shyly shook her head. "What do you think it is that could cause this?"

Clarkson stood back and scratched his head. "I honestly don't know. I've never been faced with a case like this before. I shall have to think." He made to turn away, so Isobel immediately jumped into action.

"Oh doctor, touch my fingers."

He did so, and raised his eyebrows. "Well goodness gracious me. Can I see your tongue?"

Isobel obligingly stuck her tongue out. "Aaaah."

After examining it longer than should have been necessary, Clarkson was satisfied. "There's nothing the matter with it, put it away."

"Maybe it's my back?" Isobel offered.

"Yes, yes, maybe it is. Do you do a lot of walking?" the doctor mused.

"Should I lie down?" Isobel made her way over to the bed.

"Yes, that would be a good idea."

Isobel lay down on the bed and shut her eyes. She was soon met by fingers gently probing her back, softer than she could have imagined.

"Well, I can safely say it's not measles."

"Oh, that's a relief." Isobel sat up straight. This man just wasn't getting it. Maybe she was being too subtle.

"I don't think it is the influenza, or thrombosis." Clarkson continued ticking off lists of ailments off his fingers.

"Doctor Clarkson, put two and two together."

Clarkson frowned, sure he was missing something.

"Four?"

"The cause of my racing pulse is standing right in front of me." She stared expectantly up at him.

He stopped frowning, and his eyes cleared. "It is me?"

"Yes it is you."

"Ah, it is us." Seizing the moment he leaned in and kissed her swiftly. Taking a step back they gazed at each other.

"Goodness gracious me."