Chapter one: A Little Sense of Normal

The sun shines through the window on my face. I lay in my bed, eyes closed, thankful that my nightmare didn't leave me screaming myself awake. The sunshine brings warmth and peace as do the arms around me and the breath that tickles my ear. He knows I'm awake.

"Morning Katniss," Peeta whispers kissing my neck. I open my eyes to find his blue ones penetrating my gray ones.

"Morning Peeta," I reply with a smile. We lay there a while longer entangled and attached to one another until Haymitch comes bursting into my room.

"Katniss! Katniss! Peeta's gone…" he stops mid-sentence seeing my head poke above Peeta's shoulder. I sigh; leave it to Haymitch to ruin the moment.

"Well," he pauses. Neither Peeta nor I make any effort to detangle ourselves. "Good morning, nice to see you didn't kill each other in your sleep," he says.

"I slept better than I have in a while," Peeta says, his blue eyes finding my face again. Come to think of it, it wasn't the nightmare that woke me up.

"It's nearly ten, get up before anyone else comes looking," Haymitch says before he closes the door behind him leaving us alone again.

"I don't want to," I say. For once, I'm comfortable and happy.

"I don't want you to either," Peeta's lips find mine. For a moment, I'm afraid. It's our first kiss since the second Hunger Games, I don't want him to hurt me, and I think he senses that because this is a gentle kiss. I know we both feel something different than before. Peeta is the first to pull away. For a moment, we just simply look at one another before I pull my head closer to him resting it on his chest and closing my eyes.

"Come on you two! Up!" Haymitch pounds on my door. I feel Peeta release the sigh that I was thinking of. He hugs me closer to him for a moment and then moves to release my grip so he can roll over and sit up.

"I'm not interested in getting in trouble," he says looking down upon me.

"I don't really care. This is my house after all." I roll over onto my back. I had been comfortable wrapped up in his arms. I want nothing more than to lay here with him all day now that he is almost finally mine again. Sometimes he has moment where he'll try to kill me if I'm close enough, but the more time goes on, the less often it happens.

"Katniss?" he asks looking at me.

"I'm okay," I reply sitting up. I kiss his cheek and plant my feet on the ground moving to get up. Peeta doesn't move. I look and see the confusion, anger, and hurt in his eyes that signal he's about to have an attack. 6

"Haymitch!" I yell. If this is another one of his attacks I am in a rather dangerous position seeing as though my exits are closest to Peeta. Haymitch must have heard the slight panic in my voice because he's in the room faster than I can take a single step away from the bed. Since Peeta hasn't moved, Haymitch isn't currently constraining him.

"Go on downstairs. Grease Sae's got breakfast waiting," he says as he positions himself between Peeta and me. I feel dejected as I make my way to the table in the kitchen.

"He didn't hurt you did he?" Greasy Sae asks as she places a plate of bacon in front of me.

"No, he just sat there," I say. I look at my bacon. I'm not really hungry yet. It sat there for another ten minutes before Peeta and Haymitch came down the stairs. I want to jump up from my chair and hug him, but I know I have to refrain from doing so unless he makes the first move. He still has a confused look on his face, but the hurt and anger is gone.

"I think I'm okay," he says seeing me. Apparently I must look worried. "Gale isn't going to take you away. Real or not real?" Peeta asks. I hate that he still has to ask questions like this. He knows Gale isn't going to take me away from him, but his attacks are what cause the confusion and suspicion even though his heart tells him otherwise. I sigh before I answer.

"Not real Peeta," I reply. Gale certainly loves me as more than a friend, but he knows that I don't return his feelings. "Gale told me once that he could never compete with you for me," I say.

"So, no District 2 for you then?" Peeta asks a smile playing on his lips.

"District 12 has always and will always be my home. You know that," I reply. A smile emerges on his face as he kisses the top of my head and sits down beside me taking my hand under the table. Greasy Sae places bacon in front of him and Haymitch as well.

~HG~HG~HG~

Peeta has returned to himself and the two of us, hand in hand, walk to the meadow. It's slowly turning from its black ash of destruction, to a new, pretty green of rebirth. District 12 is being rebuilt in some places, but few people have even touched the Seam.

"I miss my family," Peeta says as we approach the old bakery.

"I miss my sister," I reply squeezing his hand. "My mom good as abandoned me."

"She's only a few Districts away though. District 4 right?"

"Yes. They have a better medical practice there. She fits in better there. She can lose herself in her work as part of grieving for Prim."

"I can understand that. If I tried to go back into baking though, it wouldn't help me," Peeta kicks at a rock as we continue to pass through the Seam.

"Maybe not now, but I think you should go back into baking. That's your talent, you shouldn't give up on it forever," I say remembering how excited Prim would get when I'd take her to the bakery to see his amazing work. I think I miss her more than anything else in the world.

"What about you Katniss? What are you going to do?" he asks. We stopped in front of the Hawthorne's old house. What am I going to do? I wonder. I could easily go back to hunting, but honestly, it wouldn't be the same without Gale. I have no pressure to be "The Mockingjay" anymore. I realize that my life is going to be pretty boring when Peeta's voice cuts through my thoughts.

"You could help out at the new school with the music classes, or you could be a gardener, you're good with plants. Since medicines in your genes somewhere you could grow and sell herbal medicine," he says listing off his ideas. Though they all might work, the second one sounds the best and I'll at least consider the third.

"I like your second and third idea, but I don't sing for anyone. Let's move on," I say realizing we're still standing in front of Gale's old house.

"Would you sing for me?" he asks as we continue walking.

"I might," I smile.

"I'll hold you to that," he replies. We go on in silence, passing the Hob and several other places I used to know but now can't remember.

"Can we go in the woods?" I ask after we've stopped at my old house. The woods, the lake, my hunting spot, that's where I want to be. I wonder if I can find my old bow. Maybe it's still in the tree where Gale and I used to leave our things.

"You sure you want to be alone in the woods with me?" Peeta asks. He has a point, I don't want him to have an attack again where he could hurt me, but I easily counter him.

"I know these woods in my sleep. I could easily lose you if I need to." I reply. To let him know I mean it, I lean over and kiss his cheek before moving in front of him and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"If you're sure about it," he replies with a smile wrapping his arm around my waist and resting his forehead against mine.

"I'm sure," I say closing the distance between our lips. Like earlier, Peeta's the first to pull away. I had no intention to. This kiss is different from any one we've ever had. It holds every unspoken word and thoughts we've never shared, and feelings that have been buried way too long. It's with this kiss that I realize how over Gale I am, and how much I need to move on because he isn't coming back, and he won't ever steal my heart away from Peeta. Our foreheads are still touching as we stand there in each other's arms. I can see that Peeta has something he's debating upon saying.

"What is it?" I ask my hands playing in his hair. He sighs and decides to tell me.

"I love you Katniss," I let his words sink in for half a second and then without thinking I reply,

"I love you too Peeta," and I mean it. I do love him with my entire being. He smiles, but I don't know if he's entirely convinced that it isn't an act anymore. If that kiss didn't do it then I don't know what will. I hug him, my head resting just under his chin as his rests his head on mine.

"So, still want to explore the woods?" he asks. At this point, I'd love to go home, the two of us, and be where I can have help should I need it, should he have an attack.

"We can go now," I reply reluctantly. I move away and take only his hand.

The fence that once surrounded District 12 is still broken in this area. Once we're in the woods, it doesn't take me long to locate the tree in which my bow is still located. I pick it up. It's not the same as my District 13 bow, but it's got a familiar feel to it.

"I want to show you the lake," I say stringing an arrow and shooting the first squirrel I see. I can tell Peeta's a little nervous about this because it brings back memories of our first Hunger Games. I don't take his hand again and he follows me at a distance. He doesn't want to hurt me either. I hear the lake before I see it, and then smell it next. The air here is cooler and I feel the moisture on my skin. I turn to see how Peeta reacts. I can tell this is new to him, but for me, this is old, familiar, and something I've really missed over the last two years.

We finally reach the lake where I set my weapon and squirrel against a tree and discard my shoes. Peeta is still standing where he stopped, about five yards from me. Hands in the air to show I'm defenseless I slowly approach him.

"It's okay Peeta," I say. "I don't believe you'll hurt me, you've done well so far,"

"I hate this," he says, "I hate how I have to be so careful around you. I hate knowing that you'll do something so innocent that might trigger an attack," he replies calmly.

"I don't like it much either. I can honestly say I appreciate the old you that really loved me while I pretended I liked you. It's not an act anymore though. Ask…" I trail off. Ask Finnick, or Commander Boggs, or Cinna, or Gale, or Prim, but he can't ask them. Four of the five of them are dead because of me, while the other, I'm so mad at that he might as well be dead.

"I believe you Katniss," he says seeing me fall short trying to think of someone. "I think you're forgetting I could ask Haymitch. I have asked Haymitch. He told me you were a wreck when you found out what Snow had done to me, said they had to sedate you more than once," he closes the few feet between us taking my hands in his.

"I'm glad you finally figured it out," he says. We stand there in silence watching each other's faces until Peeta turns me lose and walks toward the water's edge. He takes off his shoes and throws them in the direction where mine are. He sits down on the bank and allows the water to wash over his feet. I stand there looking on not wanting to interrupt how happy this moment makes me feel.

"Are you coming?" he asks his eyes scanning the opposite bank. I walk over and sit beside him and the water meets my feet too. I put my hands out beside me and Peeta places his closest hand over mine.

We sit here for a long time, not moving, not talking, just enjoying each other's presence. I feel my arms go numb after a while and I am the first to move. I scoot closer to him and cautiously rest my head on his shoulder. He repositions himself and wraps his arm around me.

~HG~HG~HG~

It's dark when Peeta shakes me awake.

"Katniss," he says. "Katniss, come on, we should probably head back now," he helps me to my feet as I yawn and stretch. It is so dark that it takes me a minute to find our shoes, my bow, and the squirrel I shot earlier. I know these woods inside and out so finding my way out won't be a problem. It's helping Peeta find his way out that's going to be the problem.

"Peeta?" I ask moving toward the sound of his breath.

"I'm right here," he says just before I bump into him.

"Do you trust yourself to stay close on the way out? I can get us out of here," I say. He's hesitant in his answer. This worries me.

"I'll do what I can. I don't know. I don't want to hurt you,"

"Try. It'll be okay," I reply taking his hand. Slowly we start our way home. My eyes finally adjust. I know the moment we get home I plan to crash. We're almost to the fence when Peeta's hand tightens in mine.

"Peeta?" I pause to ask. My heart starts to race because he's gripping my hand so tightly that I'll never get away.

"Look," he says calmly. I follow the general direction of his finger. There are people patrolling the fence area. They remind me of Peacekeepers, but they can't be. They were all banned from the Districts when we won the war.

"Let go," I whisper. "I can't feel my hand," he loosens his grip. I sigh on the inside, thankful that this was not an attack.

"Sorry," he says. "Who are they though? Is it safe to let them see us?" Peeta asks. I suddenly remember I'm armed and I have a squirrel, which won't look good if they do see us.

"Don't move," I say. Silently, I find my hiding tree where I stash my bow and the squirrel before returning to Peeta.

"Are you okay?" I ask when he takes my hand again.

"Yeah," he replies pulling me closer. I'm not sure it's safe to try to go back past them or not. I only know the woods that are around District 12's Seam. We could follow the fence around District 12, but I don't know where another entrance is nor do I know how damaged the fence on the other side is.

"We could try to sneak past?" Peeta suggests.

"There aren't any buildings here to hide us anymore," I reply. It's things like this that I miss the most. Even still, I can't believe it's all gone.

"Maybe we can just wait until they're gone?" I suggest. I get the feeling that he doesn't like this idea much. I don't blame him. I admit I don't like it either. We wait and are trying to think of a better idea when we hear arguments.

"What are you doing in my Seam?" a rough voice calls out.

"We're waiting for traitors to come through here," one of the Peacekeepers replies.

"Get out of here before I call the Capitol. Peacekeepers are banned from the Districts," the first voice says. I know I know the voice. The name of the person slips my mind.

"You can't call the Capitol. Only the Victor's houses have phones."

"I happen to be friends with our dearest Mockingjay. She's home right now. I can just go over and borrow her phone." The Peacekeepers seem to believe him, as they don't argue further. They retreat across the vast empty Seam to a plane that now comes into view. When they are gone, the guy calls out to us.

"Katniss, Peeta! What the hell are you thinking?!" he yells. Peeta and I look at one another before we slowly step forward. As we approach the man, I am able to tell that it is Darius. The same Darius that Gale had been jealous of that day in the Hob.

"We didn't do anything wrong," I say, "we just wanted a day to ourselves."

"Haymitch has set the whole District looking for you two," Darius says. "I think he thought that Peeta had an attack, killed you and then took off. District's 11 and 13 are on alert for him."

"He didn't have to do that," I reply sadly, knowing the repercussions of the situation. Peeta drops my hand and takes off running through the Seam. I assume he too is upset about the news.

"Peeta!" I call. But he doesn't turn around.

"Why would you say that in front of him?" I ask angrily. I could hit him.

"I didn't know he'd react like this," Darius says, but I'm already on my way after Peeta.

He has a good head start on me, but once we reach town, he manages to evade me.

"Peeta! Please ! Come back!" I yell through the streets trying not to get upset and cry. "Peeta!" I was coming close to tears and fear of not finding him when suddenly I am caught by Greasy Sae.

"Did he hurt you this time?" she asks once I quit struggling.

"No," I choke out. "Where is he?"

"I don't know. We saw him run past us, Haymitch went after him. What happened if he didn't hurt you? Come on, lets get you inside." After I calm down and sit on the couch in my living room Greasy Sae asks me what happened again.

"We went into the woods, sat by the lake, feel asleep, on the way back into the District we ran into Peacekeepers that Darius scared off," I say.

"Peacekeepers? In the Districts?"

"Yeah, Darius threatned that since he knows me he would just come right over and call the Capitol if they didn't leave they said they were looking for Traitors," I tell her. A worried look crosses her face as she too wonders why there were Peacekeepers in District 12. We sit in silence until we hear Peeta and Haymitch return. This time, I immediately jump up and fling myself into Peeta's arms.

"Its okay Katniss," he replies startled.

"No. Its not. You two are lucky Darius went looking for you in the open," Haymitch says. "Peacekeepers are apparently notified any time someone leaves any of the Districts by foot. We may have won the war, but the new President isnt happy about the decision of using Capitol children for a final Hunger Games. Ran into Effie Trinket earlier today. The President wants to meet the both of you later this week," he goes on.

"Who is the new President?" I ask.

"Shes not revealing herself to the Districts until she has everything thing set up. She had Snow's notes as well as Coin's notes to go over and through and shes apparently making a lot of changes of her own."

"What kind of changes?" Peeta asks before I can.

"Not quite sure. Effie didn't say much," I'm sure Effie told him more than he's telling us, however this doesn't bother me as much as it normally does because I know we'll find out for ourselves from a more trustworthy source soon. I'm still standing wrapped in Peeta's arms when Greasy Sae sighs reminding us she's still there.

"I'll be back for breakfast in the morning." We watch as she leaves my house. It isnt until I yawn that Haymitch mumbles something about unattended vodka on his kitchen table and something about Peeta needing to find his own bed tonight, that he too leaves my house. Even though we're standing, I find myself falling asleep in Peeta's arms.

"Come on Katniss, time for bed," he says pushing me away a little so I can walk up the stairs on my own. I stumble into my room, trip over my feet and fall luckily, on my bed. Peeta chuckles at me as he sits on my bed beside where I have climbed up.

He tucks me under the covers and kisses my forehead.

"Ignore Haymitch's last comment. Stay with me?" I ask. He smiles.

"I plan to. My house is so boring and lifeless, full of things that hurt to remember," He gets up, "I'll be back. Just want to make sure all the lights are out," he leaves the room. I sit up and prop myself up against my pillows reflecting over the recent events. Peacekeepers who track the woods, new President, I'd forgotten about the Capitol Hunger Games, and then Peeta who's still so fragile.

"All out," he announces as he enters the room turning out the lights and blindly crossing to my bed. Once he climbs in and allows me to snuggle against him, I ask his opinions.

"Why did you run away when Darius told us Districts 11 and 13 were also looking for us?" This is the first thing I want to know.

"I couldn't handle it. I told you earlier I hate what Snow did to me as much as you do. I wish things were different. I hate how it affects not only you, but our entire District as well as the District's closest to us. They have to be on guard from my attacks too even though you're the only one I was designed to kill,"

"But yet, you love me, and I love you, and your heart's feelings are the only ones that matter," I smile.

"Yes, I love you Katniss. I honestly have liked you for a long time, so it wasn't too much of an act on my part. Hey…" he trails off. He places his hand on my stomach. "Whats the story for why we don't have a kid?" he asks. I smile a little.

"I had a miscarage after the rebel's kidnapped me because I was so upset no one would tell me where you were or where I was and I was distraught and refused any aid they offered."

"Oh. Okay. I guess that makes sense. Good thing to know," he replies.

"I never thought about it after a while," I reply. It was true. After I'd told the people in District 8 before they were bombed, it didn't really matter to me. He moves his hand from my stomach and wraps his arm back around my waist pulling my closer to him.

"I hate that you have to deal with this too, but even when you're trying to kill me I'm still here for you and I love you." I tilt my head up and gently press my lips against his.

"Goodnight Katniss," he chuckles as he returns the kiss.

"Goodnight Peeta," I smile and then rest my head against his shoulder closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.