Warning: Character death, language, angst

Pairing: RoyEd

AN: Writing this tore me apart, but the idea was just too good for me to pass up. I don't know how well this turned out, or how well I like it. But this is the end result. I hope you like it... And any feedback on it is greatly appreciated.

"Death can't touch you!" Ed shouted, fear and despair creeping into his tone. "Dammit Mustang! You're better than that." He stopped, bowing his head and closing his eyes as the first tears slipped from them, falling to his feet and landing in the carpet. The older man didn't react to Ed's outburst. Roy didn't even turn round and the tense silence grew until it almost felt deafening. Ed didn't look up until he was a little more in control of his emotions, and by this time, Roy had turned from the window to look at him.

The unguarded look of concern, guilt and sadness that slipped onto Roy's features hurt more than Ed wanted to admit, and only resulted in the build up of more tears. Ed dropped his gaze again and he heard the muffled padding of Roy's shoes on the carpet as the man approached. Roy stopped a little bit away, just out of arms reach; a safe distance. "Fullmetal..." Roy's voice was soft; gentle as if he thought that if he used a harsher tone then Ed would shatter like glass where he stood in the fire-lit office.

"You can't just die." Ed murmured, interrupting Roy. Edward knew that his sorrow shouldn't be shown. He should hide his pain so he wasn't vulnerable but he just couldn't. When he'd found out all those years ago that it was possible that Roy would be executed he fell into denial about it, shoving the concept from his mind as ridiculous. Roy Mustang couldn't die. The man was proud, intelligent and strong. He couldn't just die. The unknown men and women of the firing squad, those that didn't have a name to put to a face, they couldn't kill Roy Mustang - Flame Alchemist and Hero of Ishval. A choked sob escaped Ed and he lost control of the emotions that flooded through him. He sunk to his knees, covering his face with mismatched hands; flesh and steel, covering his misery behind them as his shoulders shook.

He felt Roy's warm presence in front of him and soon he was pulled into the man's embrace. Ed buried his face in Roy's shirt, clinging to it as if it would keep Roy with him and away from the firing squad. Maybe, just maybe, if Ed held onto Roy hard enough then they wouldn't kill him. As his fingers wrapped around the cotton of Roy's shirt, Ed's flesh fingertips brushed along the pale tempting skin of Roy's collar and he felt the older man shiver in response to the feather touch. Edward looked up at the dark eyes that stared at him cautiously. "You can't leave me..." He whispered. It wasn't how he wanted to declare his feelings to Roy. If he was being honest, he didn't really want to declare them at any point, but now Roy was leaving and Ed wished with everything in him that any declaration of his feelings would keep Roy with him, with them all.

Ed turned his cheek into the warm palm of Roy's hand when it was raised and met his face tenderly. His eyes fluttered closed at the touch and if it weren't for the pounding in his head and the pain coursing through his chest, Ed could almost pretend that it was just the soft caress of a lover. It wasn't though, and that made Ed open his eyes again to stare back at Roy. Ed reached out with his left arm, brushing his fingertips along the shadows that had began to form under Roy's eyes. The dark haired alchemist slipped his hand from Ed's face up the blonde's arm and took a hold of his hand. Edward watched as Roy turned to place a light peck of a kiss on the inside of his wrist. The moment those lips brushed the skin of Ed's wrist it felt as though he'd touched a live wire. Shocks sparked through him, taking his breath away at the lust in Roy's eyes that contradicted the fragile kiss.

"Edward, the last thing that I want to do is leave you." Roy's voice was barely a whisper, but even that sounded loud in the silence of the room. When their eyes met, Ed felt his grief take a firmer grip on him. Roy's masks had slipped away – showing only pain and fear and Ed would give everything to make that pain go away.

"Don't then." He whispered in reply. Roy gave him a small sad smile and leaned in to kiss his forehead tenderly. He trailed his fingers through blond bangs and pressed their heads together, staring into Edward's eyes.

"Its not that simple, Ed. I have to. I can't allow this country to start on the wrong foot. We have to do it this way." Roy murmured, pulling away and trying to memorise Edward's face. His hands cupped the young alchemist's face. "I don't want to leave you Ed. I don't want to leave any of my men, and if I'm being honest then I'm terrified, but I have to do this."

Ed shook his head, a choked sob escaping his lips as he shut his eyes and hung his head. He wrapped his fingers in Roy's shirt, tugging at it slightly as Roy pulled him closer. He felt Roy's arms around his back and the man's lips placing kisses on the top of his head. He was murmuring condolences – which Ed felt was ridiculous. He wasn't the one that was going to die after all.

After a while, when Ed finally calmed down and the pair of them were still sitting on the floor – Roy with his back against his desk, his legs stretched out in front of him; Ed on his knee, hands still curled in his shirt and his eyes red and puffy from crying – Ed rested his head on Roy's shoulder. He knew that they shouldn't be so close in the office in case someone walked in, but with all that was happening he couldn't seem to care.

"You're beautiful Ed." Roy murmured, causing Ed to shiver as the breath tickled his ear. Roy chuckled at the slight tint of pink that bloomed in the blonde's face. "You are. It took me a while to notice, and even once I did I couldn't accept it. You are my subordinate, and still so young. I didn't have any right to feel lust for you."

"Shut up." Ed murmured softly, his tone kind. He shifted slightly so that he could face Roy properly and pressed a human finger to Roy's lips to stop him from talking. "I have even less of a right then, don't I?" He murmured, leaning against Roy's chest. The man wrapped his arms around Ed. "It hurts to be admitting all this to you, especially with..." Ed's words were cut off by the press of Roy's lips.

Ed's eyes grew wide and he hesitated for a moment too long because Roy was pulling away, taking the hesitation for rejection. Ed shifted so that he was straddling Roy's legs and cupped his face with mismatched hands, kissing him. He closed his eyes and felt Roy do the same as hands tightened around his waist. Ed let out as gasp as Roy's tongue brushed over his bottom lip, silently requesting entrance. Ed willingly allowed it and met Roy's tongue with his own. Edward slid his automail hand down Roy's chest, leaving his flesh hand to slip around the back of Roy's head. As Ed pushed up against Roy, the noise that the older man made was absolutely delicious and made Ed squirm. He pulled away slightly, giving them both time to catch their breath. Roy's pupils were dilated and Ed knew that it wasn't just the dimness of the room, he watched the hollow of Roy's throat, seeing the hint of a pounding heart and his laboured breathing.

"Ed..." Mustang's voice was hoarse and it turned Ed on all the more. He pulled his eyes up from Roy's throat to look at him. "If you don't want to..." Roy stopped talking at Ed's grin. Without delay, Ed pressed his lips to Roy's throat, scraping his teeth down the tender skin and then slowly licking up to his jaw. Roy's breath left in a gasp and Ed smirked, nipping over the pulse in Roy's throat.

"Idiot. I've wanted you for so long now." Ed murmured affectionately, his lust fuelled mind denying the situation Roy was facing in favour of this - the way they pressed against each other in just the right places, the way Roy's scent dragged him closer and the way those hands felt when pressed against him. Ed pulled Roy's shirt off, soon followed by his own before kissing Roy again.

Standing up was more awkward than it should have been because they both refused to separate their lips from each other. Warm hands traced the memories of old scars that lined their chests – Roy's scars from Ishval and Lust's attempt at his life, Ed's from his failed human transmutation and the aftermath of Kimblee's attack in the north. Whispered memories that were not quite forgotten. Roy's hands at Ed's belt, not undoing it. He was hesitating, even as he nibbled Ed's ear lobe and making him whimper in unadulterated want.

"Ed, are you sure you want this?" Roy breathed, kissing Ed's jaw as the blond squirmed.

"Dammit Mustang, stop asking and just take me." Ed gasped, his eyes shut at Roy sucked at the skin of his throat. He was so far gone that he didn't notice that Roy had undone his belt and trousers until he heard them land on the carpet. He wriggled out of his boots and kicked the trousers off as Roy moved him to the desk. Ed's back hit it and Roy forced him to lean back as he kissed down his chest, fingers tracing the join of flesh and steel at his shoulder. Ed watched as Roy dropped to his knees and traced up the inside of his thighs with cool fingertips. Ed shivered pleasantly at the touch and moaned lowly when Roy's teeth dragged up from his knee to his boxers. Roy looked up at Edward, his eyes unbelievably dark and tempting as he skimmed his hands up over Ed's slim hips.

Roy fingers curled around the waistband off Edward's boxers and tugged them off; Ed lifted his hips to make it easier for his commanding officer. A blush formed on his cheeks as he watched Roy gaze at him. It was an intense look and he had the urge to cover his automail. Glancing away he felt Roy stand up and he couldn't help the small whimper he gave with Roy parted his legs and moved between them. A firm but gentle hand on his jaw made Ed turn back to Roy.

"Don't be ashamed Ed." Roy whispered, kissing him softly. "You're beautiful. All of you. Flesh and metal." Roy kissed him again, his hands slipping down Ed's sides to his hips. Roy trailed hot kisses down Edward's jaw onto his neck, and from his neck down his chest.

Ed found that Roy was surprisingly good at being with another man, and only afterwards as he curled up against his commanding officer on the couch in the office did he allow himself to wonder if Roy had been with another man before. The thought didn't linger in his mind long as he then hooked a leg round Roy's and pressed against him, feeling arms circle around his waist. Roy had pulled a blanket over them but it hung low, pooling around Edward's waist and Roy's hips. It offered them modesty and the fire in the hearth offered the room the comfortable warmth that made them both so relaxed. Ed rested his head over Roy's heart, his hair undone from its braid and falling around his bare shoulders in a sweep of gold as the steady beat of Roy's heart lulled him to sleep.

When Roy was sure the Ed was asleep he reached up and trailed his fingers through Edward's hair. It was smoother than he'd been expecting, and this close Roy could smell the shampoo Ed had used earlier that day. Though the gesture didn't wake Ed, the young alchemist did make a small, pleased purr at the touch. Roy felt himself smiling despite it all. In these four walls, with Ed wrapped in his arms half lying on top of him, he could almost pretend that tomorrow wasn't the end. The bitter sting of tears behind his eyes made Roy tighten his grip on the sleeping alchemist and look away. He gave a deep sigh, pushed the thought from his mind and kissed the top of Edward's head, murmuring a declaration that wasn't to be heard in the deep recesses of Ed's dreams.

"I love you, Edward."

Roy was pulled from his sleep by the sound of his office door opening. The fire had long ago died out and daylight brightened the room. He shifted away from its touch, wishing to sleep more. The heavy weight of automail was pressed against his bare leg, but the metal was warmed from being against him all night. Ed's head was still resting over his heart, but the young man seemed to have managed to get even closer while they slept. A human arm was tucked tight around Roy's waist and blond hair tickled him where it touched his flesh. The sight of Ed, partially in the sunlight and looking so peaceful brought a smile to Roy's lips. Edward was beautiful, there was no denying that, but like this, Ed was ethereal.

The sound of footsteps caught his attention and he remembered why he was awake. He turned to look at their visitor and at first only saw blue military. His heart caught in his throat before his mind kindly filled in the rest of the figure. Hawkeye stood by Roy's desk with a bundle in her arms. Roy's uniform for today. The uniform he'd die in. He groaned involuntarily and shut his eyes. Ed's weight against him was a constant reminder of what he was leaving behind and he was now questioning his ability to go through with it. He was Fuhrer. He could stop it, but that wasn't the point.

Hawkeye must have heard him groan because when he opened his eyes again she had turned to face him, her hand still on her gun and a frown on her face, before she relaxed slightly but the frown remained. It took Roy's sleepy mind a moment to understand her expression and when he did he glanced down at the naked man in his arms. The blanket still lay low on their bodies and it wasn't hard to figure out what had happened.

"Sir?" Hawkeye's tone was the same calm tone she always had. It told Roy nothing about her view on the situation. Roy forced himself to relax and met her eye.

"Morning Lieutenant." He offered her a small smile.

"I brought your uniform." She told him, justifying her presence. When he nodded his understanding she continued. "I see you didn't go home last night." Maybe Roy had imagined it, but there was a slight hint of judgement in her tone.

"No. I... I got a bit distracted."

"I'll be outside the door." Hawkeye told him pointedly before she turned and left. Once the door closed behind her Roy sighed. He managed to disentangle himself from Ed and slip away from the couch. He pulled on clean underwear and his uniform trousers. He pulled the shirt on and was buttoning it up on the way to the door. He opened it just enough to slip through and closed it behind him, waiting for the lecture from Riza to start.

She stood in front of him with her arms crossed. "Sir, if I may speak freely?" Again she waited for his nod before continuing. "Are you sure that taking Ed as your lover is a good idea. Considering today's plan."

Roy sighed and dropped into one of the chairs that his team sat in. He ran a hand through his hair. "Probably not, no. But I don't regret it. I love him." Roy said quietly, almost to himself as he glanced back at the door to his office.

"Yes, and he loves you judging by the looks I've caught him giving you. But what you did was selfish Roy." Riza was angry. It was hard to tell for anyone else, but Roy had known her since he was a teen. He knew her manner and she was angry at him now. He didn't reply, instead thinking it over. She was right of course, it was selfish of him. Unforgivable really, but he had felt so weak and helpless with Ed crumpled on the floor of his office crying and hinting at his feelings. His heart clenched painfully at the memory and he pulled his gaze away from the door.

"You didn't see him last night, Riza. He was a mess. I've never seen Ed look so hopeless and scared."

"So that's a good enough reason to take him to bed to then die the following day?" Her voice hitched towards the end, betraying her own fear. Roy stood up and moved to hug her. She was small in his arms but she relaxed against him, wrapping her arms around him.

"No. Of course it isn't good enough. I was being selfish, but I needed the comfort as much as he did." Roy told her quietly. He rubbed her back in what he hoped was a comforting manner. "I'm scared Riza, and I know you are too." He pulled away enough to look at his oldest friend. "But we've got each other."

She offered him a smile as he took her hand, and nodded at him. They didn't need to say anything else and after a moment, Hawkeye moved away from Roy. "We've got an hour before the car picks us up. Go and be with Edward, Roy."

She smiled and Roy returned the gesture before moving back to his office, as he closed the door he heard the others come in and the muffled conversation that they made with each other. Ed whined as he woke up and Roy watched the muscles in his back shift as he stretched. It took a moment for Edward to notice that he was no longer curled around Roy like a cat and he was on his feet within seconds.

"I'm here, Ed." Roy murmured, smiling as he saw the panic drain away. He moved to his subordinate's side and pulled him closer, kissing him softly. "Good morning."

Ed all but purred as he pushed up against Roy. "Morning." His voice was husky with sleep and it was all Roy could do to smother the desire the threatened to take him. "You're dressed." It was almost a whimper and Roy couldn't help but chuckle at it as he moved to the couch, pulling Ed behind him.

"Yeah, Hawkeye brought my uniform. I though it was best to dress before going to talk with her." Roy dropped down into the couch, and Ed joined him. The sunlight caught in his hair and Roy leaned in to kiss him again, stealing away any reply he was going to make.

The hour rushed by and before Roy knew it, there was a knock at the door and Hawkeye telling him that their car was there. He stood up but a tight grip around his wrist stopped him. He turned to Ed, who stood up next to him, shaking his head. The peaceful, happy memory of Edward while he slept felt like a distant memory when met with his agonised look. His eyes were wet with unshed tears and they gazed up at Roy, begging. Roy faced him fully and ran his fingers though Ed's loose hair.

"I have to go now." Roy murmured, trying to hide his own feelings and failing. Ed shook his head again, as if refusing to accept the situation would keep Roy here.

"No. Not today." His voice was quiet and shaky as he tried to gain control. "Not today Roy. You didn't tell me it was today."

"Edward, about last night..."

"Don't you dare say that your sorry." Ed interrupted, wrapping his arms around Roy when the tears slipped past his defences. "Don't say sorry for it, because I'm not. I'm not sorry Roy."

Roy held Edward tightly, swallowing around the lump in his throat and blinking back his own tears. There was another call from Hawkeye as the seconds ticked away. "Edward, I am sorry. Not about last night, but about the fact that I can't spend more time with you." Tears fell now, and Roy pulled away just enough so that he could meet those sorrowful golden eyes. "I love you Edward."

"I love you too." Edward whispered as he choked back a sob. Roy pressed their lips together and despite the fact that Ed kissed back, it only caused the young man to cry more.

It was a tender kiss. The passion that they both felt was buried deep in favour of this softer, more loving kiss. It was sweet and slow and gentle. It could tell of love and trust and security and all Ed could hear from it was goodbye.

Roy moved away and turned his back on Ed before leaving the room. Ed would have followed but he wasn't dressed yet. By the time he'd pulled clothes on and tied his hair up in a ponytail, Roy was gone. Ed had raced outside and got there in enough time to watch Roy in the back of the car as it turned around the corner and out of sight.

It was going to take place in a large square in the city. It was to be a public event and there was already a crowd of people gathered to watch it. The heroes of Ishval sent to their death – not something you should take the children to, but there was a handful of young children with their parents. The cars pulled up and the soldiers emptied out. Roy stood back, glancing around the crowd. They couldn't take all the soldiers out at once and he saw Armstrong standing at the side lines, waiting for when he was called up. Roy was to be one of the first.

There was talking, an explanation of sorts and telling the crowd about the crimes committed. They were justifying the killing of the Fuhrer and handfuls of other, well known soldiers. Too soon the talking stopped and Roy, along with Riza and some other soldiers Roy knew were, marched up to the seven men and woman of the squad. He was left unblindfolded and facing his killers. There was some more talking, none of which Roy was taking in and just before the order to fire there was a shout from the crowd and Roy's heart skipped a beat as he recognised the voice. Ed pushed past the people in his way and ran to Roy. He slid to a stop in front of his commanding officer and faced the firing squad, his back to Roy and effectively using himself as a human shield.

"Fullmetal. What are you doing?" Robin, the man that would be replacing Roy at the top, called out. Ed turned to the man and Roy could tell that the blond was glaring. Ed's uniform was crumpled from dressing into yesterday's clothes quickly. His hair was tied up messily and he was out of breath slightly. He must have ran most of the way here – if not it all.

"I'm not letting you do this!" Ed called out, loud enough for the crowd to hear. "You can't kill them. They were following orders." He paused, looking around at the faces that had gathered. "None of them had a choice. They had to follow their orders! Think of all the good things that they had done since. This man," Ed gestured to Roy, "he helped make this country what it is today. How can you justify killing him?"

"Fullmetal! Move. That's an order." Robin demanded. Ed shook his head, and moved closer to Roy, holding his arms out as if to shield him further.

"I won't." It came out as a snarl and Roy knew that nothing would talk Ed out of this chosen path and he glanced around the crowd, looking for a way out of his current situation.

"You are disobeying a direct order, Fullmetal. Move." Robin's voice caught Roy's attention again and he sighed quietly. He clearly didn't know Ed. Threats like that didn't work.

"I'm not going to let you kill him!" Ed shouted, and Roy noticed a few of the girls in the crowd flinch at his harsh, accusing tone.

"Mustang, I suggest that you talk your subordinate down before he's punished for disobedience." Robin snapped, giving Roy a pointed look.

Roy shared the look with Robin and then turned Ed so that they were looking at each other. He put his hands on top of Edward's shoulders, who then reached up and wrapped his gloved hands around Roy's wrists. "You don't need to do this Roy. They'll accept it. They know of the good you've done." Ed was trying to be convincing and prove that this wasn't how things were meant to happen but Roy had made up his mind and wouldn't change it now. He couldn't.

"No Ed. If I don't do this then this entire country will be based on cowardice." As Roy spoke, he tired to make his voice calm but he wasn't sure how much of a good job he had done.

"This is cowardice! Giving yourself over to them is being a coward. Don't Roy." Ed snapped, before sighing and continuing in a quieter, gentler voice. "Don't leave me. Not after I just got you."

Roy sighed, forcing tears back and wrapped his fingers around Ed's human wrist. He tugged on the young alchemist's wrist and pulled him towards the edge of the crowd. Ed easily kept pace but Roy stopped before getting into the crowd and safely away from his death. Ed stopped with him and Roy watched with a distant sense of amusement at the change in his expression. Confused to understanding to anger and finally to grief.

"Don't..." Ed's voice is what broke Roy and brought a tear slipping down from his lashes. He sounded so helpless. In all the years Roy had known the brilliant young alchemist, Edward had never sounded so defeated.

"I love you, Ed, but this has to happen. I'm sorry." Roy whispered, just loud enough for Ed to hear. He longed to kiss him, but he couldn't. Not here. Not where they'd been seen. Edward would be punished for it later if he did. Instead he gazed at him for a moment too long, squeezed his human hand and then nudged the alchemist back into the crowd. Ed's back hit a solid surface and he looked up to see Armstrong standing behind him. Perfect posture but the tears were dropping from his chin carelessly.

"Alex," Roy started, pausing to take a deep breath and hold Ed's gaze, "make sure that Edward doesn't get involved again."

As Roy turned his back on his lover, he heard Ed shout. He returned to his spot and nodded once at Robin before turning his gaze to Ed. The blond was fighting against Armstrong to try and get free, but Alex had a firm grip on the young man and despite the sorrow that was clear on the soldier's face, Roy knew that Edward was going nowhere.

Ed stopped struggling when he saw Roy watching him and Roy saw the exact moment he gave up. It was when his head dropped slightly and his bangs fell into his eyes. After a short moment, Ed looked up and even across the distance Roy knew that Ed was crying. He couldn't see tears, but he was shaking even as Armstrong held him. Ed's mouth formed the words "I love you" and Roy made them out clearly even though he couldn't hear them. He returned the gesture just as the order to fire was called and he wanted to shut his eyes but he couldn't look away from Ed. It broke his heart to see Ed's pain so clearly written on his face.

The pain was a sharp, hot agony as the bullet ripped its way into his heart and it forced him to his knees. The pain was enough to snap his attention from Ed as he fell onto his side. His eyes fluttered closed and even through the noise that was steadily sounding more muffled, he was able to clearly make out Edward's screaming.

The moment Roy dropped Ed increased his struggles but Armstrong didn't let him go until men came to move the bodies. He was forced to once again watch Roy leave him. Once they'd moved his body, taking it away to prepare it for his burial, more men and women were called up to face their crimes and distantly Ed felt bad for not trying to save Hawkeye, or Armstrong, but he felt numb inside. He wasn't even aware that he was on his knees, or that the entire thing was over until a young girl touched his arm. He looked up at her, through vision blurred with tears. She looked to be around six or seven.

"You loved that man, didn't you?" She asked him with childlike innocence. He looked away from her but nodded to confirm her question. "Daddy says that people we love never truly leave us. They just go up and become stars. I can still talk to mummy every night, and you can still talk to that man." Ed looked up at the little girl and met her comforting smile with a shaky one of his own, even though her words made him cry more. A man called for the little girl and she offered Ed one last smile before running to the man that shouted for her. Ed watched as she took his hand and walked away.

The funeral was torture. Ed only managed to get through it due to Al and Winry's strong and steady presence by his sides. When everyone had left, Al and Winry backed out of ear shot and left Ed alone with the fresh grave. He knelt by the tombstone, ignoring the tears and sat in silence for a long time.

"I miss you. I miss you so much that it hurts to breathe. Al's been worried about me. He's actually had Winry move into the apartment since we can't go back to Granny just now because of his school. He doesn't think I'm eating enough, but I can only get through the days but throwing myself into study or sleep. You know how I get." Ed paused to wipe at his eyes and hiccuped a sob. "Its not fair, Roy. They had no right to take you from us. Its still too early to see if your sacrifice has made this country better, but I promise you that if it gets bad again, then I'll fix it. I'll keep your dream alive Roy, because I couldn't save you."