Summary: AU Yullen. How is it that no one notices how that smile is nothing but a hollow mask? There's an impenetrable wall all around him that refuses to let anyone get close. What would it take, then, to tear away that wall?

A short 3 chapter story. Nothing mind-blowingly long.

Warning: Like many fanfics on this site, the M rating is there for a reason. And seeing as this is a slash pairing fic, and Yullen to boot, I don't think it takes any wide stretch of imagination to figure it out. /laughs. So, if you have a problem with it, stay away from chapter 2 and onwards. (But it's all lime and implied lemon. There's no actual lemon, rawr.)

...

"This is the Black Order, an organization of exorcists that helps protect humans from the monsters and demons that roam the land. You have the power to fight them, so it is your duty to use that power for good. Will you join us, Allen?"

…

"Kanda!" Lenalee waved at him as he entered the gates of the tall, black tower. "Welcome back! How did the mission go?"

He shrugged in response, not bothering to give a proper answer.

"Ah, never mind that, then! Have you met the new member?"

"No, and I don't want to," Kanda told her with a scowl. "I hate rookies. They're all useless cowards."

"Don't say that," Lenalee admonished as she whacked him playfully on the head with her clipboard. "Almost all of us in the Order have had troubled pasts. You can't blame rookies for being a bit scared. And besides, the new kid is really nice. He's so cheerful, even after all he's been through. Isn't that amazing?"

"Huh," Kanda scoffed. "He's probably just an idiot, then."

"Kanda, don't be such a—Oh! That's him, right there. Be nice and say hi." Lenalee pointed to a rather short, snowy-haired boy who was chatting with the cook. He looked rather slender and far too weak to hold his own in a fight, and if it hadn't been for the long, red scar that trailed down the left side of his face, Kanda wouldn't have thought that he could have possibly had any battle experience at all. Then again, the scar could have been from tripping over his own feet.

"Allen! How was your first day here?" Lenalee called to the newcomer. At her voice, he turned with a surprised look on his face and grinned.

"Not bad. Hevlaska surprised me, but everyone's quite nice here."

Lenalee laughed. "This is Kanda, by the way. He just got back from a mission. Oh, and just as a warning, even though he's rather grumpy most of the time, he usually means well."

"Don't just spout shit about me," Kanda scowled. "And why'd you even get such a scrawny bean sprout to join, anyways? I bet he'd die within the week."

Allen frowned. "I can assure you that I won't be dying anytime soon," he said. There was a slight trace of tension in his voice, so slight that Kanda almost thought he'd imagined it. Certainly, Lenalee hadn't noticed a thing.

"Sorry, that's just how Kanda talks," Lenalee said apologetically.

"Don't worry about it." Allen only shrugged and flashed a bright smile before waving a quick good-bye. "I'd stay longer, but have to go talk to Komui now," he said quickly, and Kanda narrowed his eyes as the younger boy left.

"See, wasn't he nice?" Lenalee asked, elbowing Kanda smugly.

The black-haired swordsman only stared in the direction that Allen had walked in. "I don't like him," he said finally after a long silence.

Lenalee rolled her eyes. "You don't like anyone," she told him pointedly.

"No, that's not what I mean." He scowled, but his voice was flat, and it held no trace of the irritation that was usually present. "That kid is trouble. You should stay away from him, or you'll get hurt."

"What do you mean?" Lenalee's eyes flew toward him in surprise at the serious tone of his words. "Why would you say that?"

Kanda gave her an odd look. "You didn't notice? Even though you're so good with people?" But the girl only shook her head, dumbfounded, and Kanda shrugged. "His eyes don't smile. He'll never think of anyone as a friend."

…

"I refuse," Kanda said curtly, but the bespectacled man in front of him paid him no attention.

"No complaints. You and Allen are to go on a mission together. The details are in this packet."

"Just send me alone. I don't need any rookies to slow the mission down. He'll probably die as soon as the monsters attack anyways," Kanda snapped. "He's too naïve and stupid."

"There's nothing wrong with defending your friends," Allen told him with a frown. "You shouldn't have been so callous about the deaths of those men."

"'Friend,' bean sprout? You're really not one to talk about 'friends,'" Kanda shot a nasty look at the younger boy.

"My name's Allen, if you can remember it with that tiny head of yours."

"Stop!" Komui slammed his fists on the table as the tension began to come close to getting out of control. He sighed wearily. "Look, Kanda, I know you two already got into a fight within… two hours of meeting each other, but a mission is a mission. Don't let petty squabbles interfere with your job. And anyways, I can assure you that Allen is more than capable of completing the mission."

"Fine," the dark-haired exorcist hissed before glaring at Allen. "But don't expect me to protect you or anything if you get into trouble. If you're a liability, I'll just leave you behind."

"Save your breath. I don't need protection," Allen shot back, a flicker of a raw but unreadable emotion passing through his eyes. For a moment, Kanda thought that he was seeing something real behind that pathetic mask, but the moment was gone as quickly as it came.

…

"Toma, right? That's your name?" Allen asked their guide, his ever-present smile on his face. The guide nodded.

"That's right. I'll be leading you through this mission, since you don't know the area. Do you have any questions?"

Allen flipped through the mission details quickly. "So we just have to defeat some demons that made a nest in the woods near the village? How many? What kind of demons?"

"Wolf-like ones," Toma told him. "The villagers thought they were normal wolves for a while, but they're much bigger and more vicious. Their teeth may be venomous, but we're uncertain. There's a pack of them. About nine or so, if I'm not mistaken."

Allen nodded and flashed another smile. Another bright but hollow and empty smile, Kanda thought, a scowl forming on his face. Was he really the only one who noticed? Everyone else seemed to be charmed by that farce, that ridiculous mask. Granted, his face was pretty, with the delicate, creamy skin and the bright silver eyes that looked like something out of an ancient myth. But all of it, it was so disgustingly fake.

"The villagers are safe?" He asked.

"Yes, there haven't been any casualties yet. A few men were injured when they tried to fight the demons, but they managed to escape with only a few scrapes and cuts."

"That's good. How long until we arrive?"

Toma checked his pocket watch. "Another five hours. Quite a while, so you should probably get some rest while you can."

With another nod, Allen sighed and sat down heavily in the seat across from Kanda, closing his eyes. Within minutes, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed had fallen into a slow but steady pace, and the tension in his posture had relaxed. Tension, Kanda noted irritably, that he had not even seen until it was gone. The farce was a ridiculous one, but he'd be damned if he wouldn't admit, at least to himself, that the boy was good at it.

What was he hiding? Someone who looked so innocent to the world?

It was pointless and a waste of time to worry about such things, though. Resting his head against the window, Kanda also closed his eyes. He wouldn't be able to sleep, but at least he could try to rest for a few hours, he thought. Outside the window, the countryside passed by in a blur, and the carriage lurched dangerously with every spin of the wheels.

As soon as the train stopped moving, Allen's eyes flew open as if he had never been asleep, and he quickly stood up with no sign of sleep lingering in his movements. Had he really been asleep? It was easy to fake, after all… perhaps not for five hours, but it was still possible. Scowling, Kanda rose and followed him out of the train, shoving aside the rest of the passengers to pass through. That damned bean sprout, on the other hand, seemed to just melt into the crowd, gliding through the wave of human bodies as if it were nothing more than water. Damn him.

"Where's Toma?" Allen asked as they stepped off the train, but the guide appeared, looking rather disheveled, almost as soon as the words left his mouth.

"My apologies, I got stuck in the crowd," he said quickly, but the younger boy only laughed it off reassuringly. An irritatingly empty, robotic laugh.

"Shut up and get moving already," Kanda glared. Allen frowned but chose not to respond, and Toma nodded apologetically, quickly leading them out of the station and through a narrow path in the dense forests immediately outside. Why there was even a train station in the middle of nowhere was a mystery.

True to its description, the village they arrived at really was nothing more than a village. There could not have been more than thirty or so houses, and what little buildings existed were small and made of flimsy wood. The only building of any permanence or size was a brick one in the center, presumably the town hall of sorts. Toma led them to a wooden house near the brick one – a big one, in comparison to the others in the place – and knocked sharply three times. A woman, freckled and slightly plump, opened the door warily. She would have looked extremely content but for the fear that marred her face, and her eyes lit up when she saw the exorcists.

"Oh, thank goodness you're here!" She exhaled. "The demons have been ruining our lives! Our men can't go in the forest to get wood or hunt, our children can't go to play, and the women can't go to gather herbs or berries or water. And we're all afraid of an attack on the village."

"Don't worry, ma'am, it's our job to protect you," Allen told her with a smile. The smile was fake, but the words were real and full of unyielding steel. Kanda raised an eyebrow. So, despite the wall he had built around himself, he was still determined to protect others? Strangers, even? How odd.

"Thank you so much," the woman gushed with relief. "Please, do make yourself at home here. You must get a good night's rest so that you can do well tomorrow. You don't know how grateful we are to you for coming." Indeed, she did look close to tears. Kanda snorted. The weak were always so sentimental.

"Don't worry about it, ma'am. And besides, we're thankful to you for providing us with so much even when you don't have that much yourself," the younger boy said soothingly, flashing his most comforting smile. By this point, Kanda had already figured it out: the bean sprout had countless carefully prepared faces and voices that he pulled out for each situation. A soothing whisper, a sorrowful face, a cheerful grin. He really was a master at his craft. How many years had it taken to perfect all of those disgusting acts?

"Just cut it out," Kanda told him tersely as soon as they had reached their upstairs room. Toma was living in a different house, and it was just the two of them. With the tension already crackling in the air, it would be a miracle if they were both still alive when morning came.

"Cut what out?" Allen raised an eyebrow innocently.

"It's annoying. The way you talk."

"Well, I'm sorry if Your Majesty can't stand the sound of my voice," the younger boy told him dryly, a grimace tugging at the corners of his lips. Was that an act, too? It was hard to tell this time.

"I don't like liars."

"You're accusing me of being a liar?" Allen asked incredulously. "I haven't even said two words to you that might be a lie."

"You lie to everyone," Kanda snapped. "Your existence is a lie. It's pissing me off."

A stunned look flitted across the younger boy's face for a brief moment, but then he only shrugged and flashed another smile. "Oh, that. It's supposed to make people feel comfortable. You're just weird. I don't see why it ought to bother you, anyways."

"I told you already, it's because I hate liars."

"Hm," Allen said dismissively as he sat down heavily on the bed. "I suppose I should congratulate you for noticing, at least. Most people don't. That makes you the second, I believe."

"Blind fools," Kanda muttered under his teeth. "Are you really even serious about that?"

"'That,' being what?" He asked tonelessly, not even bothering to affect any semblance of cheerfulness anymore as he lay down and closed his eyes.

"Protecting the villagers. Since you're a bastard who doesn't give a shit about anything, I don't see why you'd even bother."

"It's simple. They're weak, I'm strong. That's it." He told him without opening his eyes.

"Tch." Useless kid. His straight answers were even more confusing than his lies.

…

"No sign of any demons?" Allen asked, his voice flat and dull.

"Obviously not, bean sprout. Or do your eyes not work?" Kanda scowled. As soon as Toma had left them, the bean sprout had dropped his act. It was better than before, but still annoying as hell.

"They're called trees, dumbass. They block your view."

"Excuses. You're just too stupid to figure out how to see around them."

"Huh." The bean sprout had apparently gotten tired of arguing already.

"So this is how you are without that annoying mask?"

Allen raised an eyebrow. "What, any complaints? Would you prefer that?" He asked blandly.

"No. You're annoying either way," Kanda told him with a snort.

The younger boy merely shrugged and continued scanning the area slowly, looking for signs of any monsters. There didn't seem to be any claw marks or footprints, though, or even snapped branches and twigs. Everything looked as it should have.

Kanda drew his sword suspiciously, keeping his eyes open for any movement. The air was nearly trembling with tension and danger, despite the deceitfully peaceful forest. Situations like this were the most dangerous.

A distant shriek broke the silence, and in an instant, Allen had already darted in the direction of the scream. Kanda followed quickly, cursing. As they approached, the low sound of vicious growls filled the tense silence, and several abnormally large, grayish wolves with blood red eyes came into view. They circled around a young girl, frothing saliva dripping from their fangs.

"How did a villager get this far into the woods?" Kanda hissed.

"That's not a villager."

Narrowing his eyes, Kanda turned to Allen. "What do you mean?"

The younger boy's eyes did not leave the wolves as he spoke slowly. "That girl is a demon."

"What?" Kanda's voice rose slightly, but he hastily lowered it again. "She looks human! How can you tell, anyways, bean sprout?"

"Long story." The wolves had begun to approach the girl, and Allen activated his left arm, the previously gloved hand becoming a deadly metallic claw. Without so much as a warning, he sprang forward and slashed at the largest of the wolf demons, quickly rolling aside as they turned their attention to him. Ignoring the girl, Kanda also began attacking the wolves, trying to diminish their number before they got a chance to swarm.

The little girl had apparently never seen battle firsthand before, and she was pale and quiet and shaking terribly. Her lips had been drained of color, but when she opened her mouth, she released another piercing scream as the alpha wolf, half-dead and cornered, lunged at Allen in a last, bitter attempt at life.

Immediately, one of the remaining demons whipped its head around to snarl at the girl and leaped at her in one quick, fluid motion. Allen's head snapped up as soon as he heard the sound, and, faster than Kanda had ever thought humanly possible, he cut in front of the girl and blocked the wolf's teeth with his left arm. Metal though it was, the arm was left with a dent that, when deactivated, became a bleeding wound.

Kanda sliced cleanly through the fur and flesh and bone of the wolf's neck in one brutal slash before glancing around to survey the condition of the battle. There were only two or three of the smaller demons left, and he had only dispatched one before the rest turned heel and fled with high-pitched howls.

Allen had still not moved from that spot, and his snowy hair fell limply in front of his face, obscuring his expression. His right hand gripped his left arm tightly, the knuckles white and bloodless, and even from far away, Kanda could hear low, ragged breathing.

"Oi, bean sprout? Did you get poisoned or something? Didn't that useless guide say something about venom?"

Allen's head jerked up as soon as Kanda spoke, but his reply was as dull as usual. "Don't be ridiculous. There was no poison. That was just an over-exaggeration."

"A-are you alright?" The little girl spoke up, frightened at the blood that stained both exorcists. "I c-can t-try to heal you…" her voice faltered. Neither of them believed that she was capable of performing so daunting a task.

"Don't worry, just get home properly. You have to go all the way to the mountains, after all," Allen told her, slipping on his comforting smile effortlessly. It was a bit strained from the pain, but otherwise flawless. "I'll heal properly soon either way." Kanda chose not to say anything.

With stammered apologies, the little girl bobbed her head and stumbled away shakily, her eyes darting around as if expecting more wolves to appear. Once, she glanced back as if to make sure that the exorcists had not suddenly collapsed, but Allen waved reassuringly, and she was soon on her way again.

"It's alright to let her go?" Kanda asked dubiously.

"She has enough power to protect herself from humans, at least," Allen answered tonelessly with a shrug. "The mountains aren't that far away."

"You can walk?"

"I don't need any help." This time, his voice was curt. Kanda raised an eyebrow at the change, but chose not to comment on it.

After a few minutes, however, it became painfully apparent that the younger boy was not entirely capable of walking on his own, if his limp staggering was anything to judge by. The fingers curled around his left arm had begun digging into the skin, almost as if to keep himself awake. His gaze had become clouded, and Kanda doubted that he actually saw what was in front of him as he stumbled against a tree root in the way. Swiftly, the black-haired exorcist caught him, only to be shoved away roughly.

"I said that I don't need any help," Allen forced out through gritted teeth.

"Really?" Kanda scoffed. "You're going at the pace of a snail, though. If you really don't need help, then I'll just go ahead."

"That would be preferable," the younger boy snapped, and Kanda scowled.

"Fine, then. Don't cry if you die of blood loss." He turned around brusquely and began walking away, but froze almost immediately as he heard a soft thump from behind. Allen had already lost the fight to keep himself conscious, it seemed, and his slender form lay in a crumpled heap on the ground.

"Bean sprout?" An irrational wave of fear rose as Kanda shook the younger boy, but he was still alive. Of course. His skin was feverish despite its paleness, though, and the bleeding of his arm showed no sign of stopping. The monster's teeth had probably been coated with some sort of anticoagulant, then. It wasn't a far stretch to imagine some sort of venom as well, no matter how the younger boy denied it.

With some effort, Kanda lifted the limp body onto his back, careful not to disturb the wound too much, and began carrying it back to the village. Progress was slow; there were too many tree stumps that protruded just enough to be dangerous, but weren't nearly high enough to be seen. It wasn't as if the body was heavy – on the contrary, it was suspiciously light – but even so, the extra weight, and the fact that he had to be careful not to agitate the bleeding, slowed things down quite a bit. By the time they'd finally made it out of the deeper parts of the forest, several hours had already passed.

At this point, Kanda felt the weight on his back shift as Allen began to stir. He was unprepared, though, for the younger boy's sudden, almost frantic shove as he struggled to disentangle himself from the dark-haired exorcist. Allen fell to the ground roughly, scattering dust and leaves, but he didn't seem to notice the pain.

"What's your problem?" He hissed viciously, his eyes unnaturally bright, like those of a cornered animal.

Kanda narrowed his eyes. "What's yours?" He snapped back. "You could have died if I'd left you there with that ridiculous injury."

"I don't need help, and I don't want any."

"Really?" Kanda asked darkly. "And I suppose fainting was part of your brilliant survival plan?"

The younger boy stiffened. "That was just a temporary problem."

"Tch." In no mood to argue, Kanda merely turned around and continued walking. Behind him, Allen quickly picked himself up and followed as best he could.

…

"Sir! What happened?" Toma, rushed over quickly from where he had been waiting at the edge of the forest; Allen had forbidden him from following.

"Nothing much. Just get some medicine or something," Kanda ordered before the younger boy could open his mouth, and the guide nodded hastily and scrambled away.

The woman from the night before paled when she saw the open wound, but to her credit, she merely swallowed before quickly assisting Allen up the stairs and heating a kettle full of water. Living in the wilderness had hardened the people of the village.

"Shall I fetch anything else?" She asked with concern, but Kanda shook his head. There wasn't much to do at this point but wait, seeing as there was no proper medical care to be had. Not that there was much even a proper doctor could do, he thought disdainfully. Demonic injuries didn't lie within the range of a regular doctor's medical knowledge.

Understanding the exorcist's nod, the woman quietly retreated. Allen was, once again, slipping into unconsciousness, and he barely noticed as Toma delivered all the medicine he could find. They were mostly herbal ointments mixed by the local midwife, but then again, those tended to work rather well. Kanda glanced at the younger boy, whose eyes had glazed over and were only half-open. Experimentally, he passed on hand in front of Allen's face, but there was no response. Probably unconscious, then. That made things easier, ironically enough.

The bleeding had, thankfully, begun to slow, and Kanda cleaned the wound as efficiently as he could without agitating it. There was a lot of blood, but most of it had soaked into the uniform, which he tore off and threw unceremoniously into a corner. The white shirt underneath was also blood-soaked, and that was discarded, too. Finally, he smeared some of the ointment on briskly before wrapping the injury in bandages. That would have to do it, then. He couldn't do anything about the possible poison at this point; the bean sprout probably had enough vitality to deal with that.

Almost gently, considering his normal behavior, Kanda laid the boy's head down on the soft pillow and drew the sheets up over him. At his touch, Allen obligingly closed his eyes and relaxed, and Kanda breathed a sigh of relief. At least the stupid bean sprout had some self-preservation instincts when asleep, it seemed. He couldn't for the life of him fathom why the damn kid was so adverse to being rescued. He had no problem with saving others, after all. What was he so afraid of, anyways? It was almost certainly the reason for that impenetrable wall he had built around his emotions. And yet, that very wall fell apart as soon as anyone tried to help him. A contradiction.

Irritably, Kanda tossed away his own uniform and fell into his own bed. It was useless to think about stupid things anyways, he scoffed as he closed his eyes. He just needed rest. That was it.

…

It was the middle of the night when a ragged cry woke Kanda. Disoriented, he scrambled for his sword as he faced an invisible enemy, but as he scanned the room, he quickly realized that the only other person in the room was the bean sprout.

"What happened?" He demanded, but Allen didn't respond.

Dropping the sword, he walked over and found that the younger boy was gripping his arm tightly again, this time so tightly that his nails had broken through the skin, and thin trails of blood trickled down only to seep into the bandages. His breathing was ragged and harsh, and he was sweating profusely. His skin also looked paler than before, but that could have been the moonlight.

"Oi, bean sprout? What are you doing?" Kanda reached out to shake the younger boy's shoulders, but a cold, damp hand, strong despite its shaking, stopped him.

"…ute…" Allen croaked inaudibly.

"What?" Kanda furrowed his eyebrows.

"One minute!" The younger boy gasped. "Don't ask… questions… Hurry!"

"Hurry and do what?" The black-haired exorcist found his patience thinning quickly. What was left of it, anyways.

Allen gestured weakly to his arm. "Tie it up, lock the door, and get out." He forced out as a sudden convulsion wracked his slender frame. "Hu…rry!"

Staring, Kanda found himself frozen to the spot for several minutes until another bloodcurdling cry snapped him out of his trance. Still unable to understand what was going on, he grabbed his hair tie and complied before he quickly moved to lock the door. As he was about to leave, though, he hesitated, but the look on the younger boy's face was enough to make him leave. He didn't know if he could stand to see that expression one more time.

"Sir! Is something wrong?" The woman had climbed the stairs, looking rather panicked. "The other exorcist, is he…?"

"Personal issues," Kanda answered tersely, not bothering to elaborate.

"Should I…?" She wavered, uncertain.

"Just go back to sleep."

The woman looked as if she wanted to protest for a moment, but, perhaps realizing that whatever was happening was beyond her understanding or control, she nodded quickly and left just as Kanda heard another agonized cry.

Standing outside and waiting was even more excruciating than being inside, he realized quickly, and he unlocked the door, almost dropping the key in his haste, and slipped inside. The younger boy had resorted to biting the sheets to muffle the sound, his face twisted in pain and his body shaking violently. The bandages had long fallen off, and the blood was flowing uncontrollably again.

This, then, was why he'd told Kanda to leave.

What, Kanda wondered as he stood frozen to the spot, did one do in a situation like this? His mind spun, but nothing seemed to come to him. What would Lenalee do, then? But he still couldn't imagine it. After what seemed like hours – it wasn't more than fifteen minutes, according to the clock – the muffled screams had subsided into ragged gasps, and the convulsions had stopped, though his slender body still trembled slightly, perhaps from exhaustion, perhaps from pain. Kanda untied Allen's left arm as quickly as he could before wiping off the blood, meaning to rewrap it in fresh bandages.

As the blood came off, however, it was clear that the wound was no longer there. He glanced sharply at the younger boy, who was still dazed.

"What just happened?" He demanded, deeply disturbed.

At the sound of his voice, Allen snapped out of his daze, his eyes flashing towards Kanda with raw panic. His arm snaked out to grip the collar of Kanda's shirt tightly, and his voice was desperate and threatening as he hissed, "You didn't see anything. Do you understand?"

Kanda pushed away the hand easily. "Explain what happened and I won't tell anyone," he snapped impatiently. "You're hardly in a condition to make demands anyways."

Allen narrowed his eyes but complied. "It's nothing amazing," he said tersely. "My weapon is parasitic, so I can heal quickly. It just hurts a bit more than normal. My body was ridding itself of the venom."

"Oh, so you admit there was poison?" Kanda commented sourly.

"Not enough to make a fuss over," Allen muttered under his breath before glaring at Kanda again. "This never happened, understand? And don't you dare try to pity me. I don't need your help."

"Why are you so pigheaded about not accepting people's help, anyways? You don't seem to have any problems with protecting little girls or saving villagers." Kanda scowled irritably.

"The strong protect the weak. That's it."

Another ridiculous, vague answer.

"Fine, keep your secrets, then. We're heading back to headquarters in the morning."

…

"Morning." Cheerful as always, that voice. He hadn't heard it in a while. Suddenly filled with irritation, Kanda slammed the younger boy into a wall.

"What's with that voice?" He hissed.

Allen raised an eyebrow, still smiling. "Really, Kanda, why so touchy today? We completed our mission and got back to headquarters. Shouldn't you be happy about that?"

It was like nothing had ever happened. The same distance as before.

Kanda stormed away wordlessly, and Allen rubbed his slightly sore shoulder.

"Allen! You're back safely?" Lenalee had just walked by and spotted the snowy-haired exorcist. "Welcome back!"

He flashed her a quick smile. "Yeah, I'm back."

"That was Kanda walking away, wasn't it? Another fight?" Lenalee glanced in the dark-haired exorcist's direction.

Allen shrugged. "Pretty much."

"He really does mean well, you know," she told him. "Do try to make up. Anyways, I have to deliver this to Komui, so see you later!" She said wryly, nodding at the tray full of coffee cups in her hands before hurrying away.

"I know he means well," Allen murmured as she left. "That's why it's dangerous."

Because he couldn't allow himself to slip up again. In order to be strong. In order to survive.

…

It wasn't long before the bean sprout left on another mission, with Lenalee this time. And it wasn't until Lenalee came back, crying, that Kanda thought anything of it.

Lenalee always cried in his room, where she thought no one was looking. Of course, that wasn't true, because Komui and Lavi always somehow knew when Lenalee had been crying, but either way, it made all of them feel better, so Kanda put up with it. He wasn't a comforting person by nature, but then again, maybe that was why Lenalee chose to stay around him.

"What happened?" He asked bluntly.

"I thought we were friends!" She hiccupped, rubbing her eyes vigorously.

"Who?" Though Kanda thought he already knew.

"Allen! But—But he doesn't trust us at all, does he?" Her voice began to shake, and she sniffed. "That's what you said the first day."

"What did he do?"

His matter-of-fact tone seemed to calm Lenalee down somewhat, and though her voice was still unsteady, the last of the tears quickly dry as she wiped at them hastily. "Th-there were some kids caught up in the battle. We were in town. Then h-he went, all by himself…" She breathed in deeply as the tears threatened to break again. "He wouldn't let me help at all!"

Kanda didn't reply. To Lenalee, that refusal must have hurt the most.

"Kanda, you have to save him. Please!"

Kanda frowned. "What do you mean? What could I possibly do?" His tone was a bit harsher than he had intended as his own frustration spilled forth.

"He's completely alone, Kanda. He's built a wall all around himself. Just like you when you first came here."

Like me? Hardly.

"I'm sure that when he's alone, and cold, it hurts, it hurts so much, but he won't ever say anything. It's like he's desperately trying to prove something, to himself, to the world. Prove that he's strong."

"Prove that he's strong?" Kanda echoed as he stared at Lenalee, stunned.

"Even though he's injured so badly right now…"

…

The door to Allen's room flew open, hitting the wall with a loud crash, and Allen's eyes darted towards it as he looked at the black-haired exorcist who had walked in.

"What are you doing here? I locked the door," Allen told him with a dry smile.

"Komui gave me the key. And wipe that disgusting look off your face," Kanda told him with a scowl.

"Komui?" Allen raised his eyebrows, mentally making a note to have a conversation with the man later. "Anyways, if my face is annoying either way, I might as well use one rather than the other, right?" He smiled pleasantly as if to make his point.

"Whatever," Kanda glared at him. "I thought you said you could heal quickly? Why are you still injured?"

"I told you to forget about that," Allen frowned.

"That doesn't answer the question, bean sprout."

The younger boy merely shrugged. "The demon was a bit different this time. She was a Noah."

"How bad is it?" Kanda demanded bluntly.

"My, Kanda, I didn't know you were inclined to be concerned. It was my understanding that you're generally known as a cold-hearted bastard around here." Allen commented mildly, and it was at this point that Kanda lost his patience and yanked the sheets out of the way, eliciting a cry of protest from the younger boy.

He stared. Blood-soaked bandages coiled all around his torso and both his arms. What little skin was uncovered by cloth was colored with bruises; even the face was scraped and bruised, though Kanda hadn't thought that that would be an indication of the rest of his body as well.

Allen quickly snatched the blankets back from the other exorcist's frozen fingers and wrapped them around himself tightly. "I wasn't aware that you had such inclinations," he said with a tense smile, hoping the comment would drive Kanda away in disgust. But the black-haired exorcist didn't seem to hear.

"How bad is it?" He demanded again, more forcefully this time.

Allen let his smile slip away. "If you really must know, two stomach wounds and a slash up my side, and a few stab wounds on my arms," he listed off dully with even less emotion than what usually accompanied his orders of food at the cafeteria. "It won't take more than a month to heal, though. Don't worry, I won't be a liability."

Kanda kept staring. There was something off about his voice still. "That's a mask, too, isn't it?" He asked abruptly with a scowl. "That indifference of yours."

At this, the younger boy froze. "What do you mean?" He asked, his voice guarded.

"Lenalee says you're trying to prove yourself. Prove that you're strong. Isn't that what it is?"

Allen didn't speak for a few moments. "Lenalee's smarter than she lets on," he relented finally, but his lips twisted in a bitter smile. "Even if you know, though, what difference does it make? Since you're just curious, you should be satisfied now, right?"

Kanda narrowed his eyes. As soon as one wall crumbled, another was up in its place. An impenetrable fortress. How many layers of masks did he have prepared? What would it take to rip them all away?

"You're a liar," he said finally. "You lie to everyone, all the time, even yourself. You probably lie in your sleep, even."

"I'd prefer to call it 'acting.' I'm rather partial to the thespian arts."

"How long do you really think you can last with all these acts of yours? You'll run out someday."

Allen's lips twitched in the hint of a smile. "What, are you trying to declare war against me, Kanda? It'll take rather long, I assure you. A war of attrition. I won't break down for a long time yet."

"And when you do?" Kanda demanded, unsettled by the unreadable tone of his voice.

"There'll be nothing left then."

...

...

It took approximately 6000 words for me to actually explicitly state the theme of the story. xD I'm really good at getting to the point, aren't I?

Allen has a different personality in each of my fanfics, and Kanda's always just a bitch. I don't know which of them I should apologize to more. /snort. But whatever. And yes, AU is just a crappy excuse to screw up the timeline and everyone's backstories/personalities. Shh. xD

Sorry, Allen. I always give you such a screwed up life. But Kanda's already screwed up to start with, so you know...

Well, anyways, hope you enjoyed. xD And please review! And look forward to the next chapter, if you care to.