Warnings: Contains domestic abuse, violence and possibly triggering materials

Prologue

Valiant was not someone who lived up to his name, and Merlin wished he'd known this before he had fallen in love with him and moved into a one bedroom luxurious flat with him. He also wished that he lived up to his own name, as magical powers would go a long way in helping him out of the sticky situation he currently found himself in.

Huddling back against porcelain of the tub Merlin ignored the press of the faucet against his back and peered around the curtain at the door praying that it wouldn't give in under Val's weight.

"Merlin get the fuck out here," his boyfriend yelled through the door before banging on it loudly enough to make him jump.

Merlin doesn't even answer, any protests, any answer he could give caught in his throat as though it was choking him, lodged there and incapacitating his vocal chords.

"You can't hide in there forever Merlin," Valiant's voice was menacing, holding nothing but traces of threats, promises of punishments to come.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Merlin whispered hoarsely and the words spilt from his lips over and over like an uncorked bottle of champagne, blurring together as tears slipped down his cheeks and he bowed his head, pressing his forehead against his knee.

"I don't care if you're fucking sorry," Valiant yelled before he banged on the door again and Merlin whimpered softly, unable to help himself as he did so, wood splintering before the door gave way and Valiant stormed in.

"No, please, don't," Merlin pled with him, shrinking back as Valiant grabbed for him, one large hand clamping around Merlin's wrist before he was hauled up out of the tub and carried from the bathroom.

"You should have thought of this before you went out with that whore," Valiant told him with a growl to his voice, wrestling Merlin onto the bed and securing his wrists with the ties there, ignoring his protests.

"Gwen is not a whore," Merlin argued, his cheeks flushed and his eyes flashing for just a moment. He loved Gwen, she was kind and gentle which was precisely why he couldn't tell her.

Valiant grabbed Merlin's face, forcing him to look at him. "She is if I say she is," he said, before his fist flew into Merlin's ribs, bruising but not breaking. "Ten minutes for this Merlin."

Merlin's heart broke, and he arched away from Valiant in an effort to save himself from the inevitable pain. He wished he had known before that this would be his life, wished he could tell someone but the power of his fear was palpable and he couldn't stand the idea of anyone else getting hurt by Valiant.

"Don't you dare move away from me," Valiant growled, his voice roughened with anger and his eyes seeming to glow in the dim light of their bedroom.

"Stop, please," Merlin begged as Valiant began smacking him around in earnest, a fist to the ribs, to his hips, to his back as he twisted and turned in an effort to get away. He cried out as Valiant's rings left marks on his skin, ripping into his flesh and leaving him desperate for any respite his lover might give him.

He pleaded and sobbed until his throat was hoarse, counting in his head, hoping for just ten minutes, hoping to get hit hard enough so that he could fade into darkness but Valiant despite his brutish ways would not hit him where anyone could see.

Sometimes Merlin wished he would, if only so that he wouldn't have to try to work up the courage to tell someone. They would just see, and maybe they would call for help for him.

He closed his eyes as Valiant climbed off the bed and left the bedroom; slamming the door behind him he heard the apartment door slam a moment later and prayed for Valiant not to return that night.

"Stupid Merlin," he muttered to himself, remembering better times, like when he had first met Valiant and found him charming.

He wished he could say the abuse was recent, but it had begun six months in right after they'd moved in together.

Merlin had fought at first of course, had even threatened to call the cops but Valiant had threatened his friends, threatened Will, his mother, Gwen, Arthur.

Arthur who was bright, golden and even though he was a prat he meant almost as much to Merlin as any family member.

There had been more than a few times when Merlin had thought of running to Arthur, for help, for solace but in the end he was ashamed even though Arthur had the money and likely the connections to make it all stop.

Merlin had come to understand though. He wasn't worth it, wasn't worth money spent and the friends who treated him like gold. He'd tried to be, had tried so hard to be what Valiant needed, learned to cook, to clean, to act right, to learn about the cutlery and the manners that were required of a spouse for someone of Valiant's name and status.

But in the end he failed.

He was still a twenty-something nobody working in a shop that sold new age medicinal products and wasn't good enough for all that he had been blessed with. He wasn't high society, he wasn't in Valiant's league and certainly wasn't in Arthur's, and so he gave up, and became all that he knew he could be.

And Merlin, feeling hopeless and more than a little broken down in the view of a moon which seemed sadder than ever bowed his head and sobbed, finally.