a/n: this would not leave me alone. so for now it's AUish because the show might go in a completely different direction. my first foray into this fandom, so let me know that i've done these characters the justice they deserve.

Set in the Hawaii Five-0/NCIS LA crossover timeline.

Kensi tapped her fingers, the wood beneath her nails drumming out a rhythmic beat. It was five minutes to eight and the early morning sun slanted through narrow windows, casting a warm terracotta glow over the OSP headquarters.

She had arrived at six this morning, pounding out her frustration on the punching bag Sam had left out yesterday. Boxing had become a favourite of hers after Jack had left. Focusing on each hit, feeling the give of the bag as her knuckles drove into it – it allowed Kensi to detach herself if only for that brief moment in time. Her muscles would ache and her body would strain after each session, but she welcomed the pain. It was a familiar emotion, a welcoming one.

What did it matter that Eva was all over Deeks? He's your partner. That's it.

The thought, one that hadn't left her since yesterday when she had watched Deeks embrace Eva, had left her restless. Kensi had come close to pulling her hair out in frustration, avoiding analyzing why that tightening in her chest had even occurred in the first place. She wasn't going to deny that she didn't flirt with Deeks. It was hard not to, considering the man couldn't resist laying on the charm no matter how short the skirt. And Kensi was positive that Deeks flirted back, recalling the mildly inappropriate comments he would make at times.

We don't have a thing.

'You're here early,' Callen's voice broke Kensi from her thoughts. The lead agent arched an eyebrow in her direction as he deposited his duffle beside his desk, a brown paper bag in his other hand.

'Is that bacon?' Kensi asked instead of answering the unspoken question. 'Didn't you have that yesterday?'

'Are you going to start asking me about my cholesterol too?' Callen retorted, mildly irritated. Kensi smiled, imagining the lectures Sam must be giving his partner about the benefits of healthy eating. Being a SEAL, and having grown up around Marines, Kensi knew how seriously military men took their diet.

'She isn't. Because that would mean discussing her unhealthy appreciation for anything fried,' Deeks interjected, flashing Kensi a smirk as he practically collapsed into his chair. Kensi made a face, her eyes tracking over his wrinkled shirt and unkempt hair.

'Seriously she made me drive all the way to across town because she had to have a fried snickers bar. Who the hell wants to eat deep fried chocolate? It's unnatural,' Deeks continued.

'The guy over on Universal?'

'Closed down. OP Café at Santa Monica,' Kensi told Callen, who nodded. Deeks cut his gaze between the two in disbelief.

'Morning,' Sam greeted them, pulling up short when he spotted the greasy breakfast Callen had laid out in front of him. 'I know that isn't what I think it is.'

The sharp trill of a cell forestalled any reply Callen was going to make.

'Is that…Celine Dion?' Deeks questioned hesitantly as Kensi fumbled around in her purse. She had programmed that tone for a select group of people.

'Not a word,' she bit out as she caught a glimpse of the 808 area code flashing across her screen.

'Agent Blye.'

'I need you to call me back on a secure line,' a man said. Kensi knew not to question the request.

'Give me a minute,' she promised and immediately hung up, eyes scanning the room for Hetty.

'Something wrong?' Callen questioned.

'Give me a heads up if Hetty's coming my way. I need to borrow her phone,' Kensi replied, not waiting for an answer as she headed towards Hetty's desk.

Punching in the number Kensi tamped down the urge to chew on her nails. The last time she had spoken to the man, he had helped untangle her from a sticky situation in Jakarta. She hadn't even known it was him until years after the fact, when contacting him had been limited to a few sparse phone calls whenever he wasn't on assignment.

'We're clear?' The man asked.

'Affirmative,' Kensi couldn't help but smile, a genuine one that rarely emerged. 'Lt Cdr Joe White. To what do I owe the pleasure?'

'Can't I check in on my goddaughter every once in a while?' Joe wondered and Kensi felt her chest warm at his voice. It had been a long time, too long, since she had heard from him.

'Heard you hung up your wetsuit,' Kensi said, twisting the phone cord around her finger.

There was a pause. 'I heard about Dom.'

The name made Kensi's throat close up and her hands to shake.

'Yeah,' Kensi felt her voice tremble, glancing up to see Deeks looking right at her. Turning around so her back was to him, Kensi ducked her head down. 'You need something?'

'I need you to come to Hawaii. There's a video with no audio, and I need someone to tell me what their saying.'

Kensi frowned. 'Abby Scuito would probably-'

'I need someone I can trust kid. It's…personal.'

There was a catch in Joe's voice that Kensi hadn't heard before. The last time she had heard it was when he had placed his hands on her shoulders, knees bent as he told her about her father.

'Okay. Okay. I'll be on the next flight out,' Kensi told Joe firmly. There was a beat of silence.

'Let me know when to pick you up,' was all Joe said before he hung up, leaving Kensi to stare at the phone.

'Is there a reason you've appropriated my phone Miss Blye?' Hetty's question had Kensi whirling around, the phone cord wrapping around her waist.

'Erm,' Kensi murmured, feeling like she had ruined another Versace gown from Hetty's wardrobe.

'Well?' The demure woman pushed, folding her arms and peering up at Kensi patiently.

'I need to go to Hawaii.'

'You do?' Hetty phrased it as if it were a statement.

'I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important-'

'It is quite alright Miss Blye. Your Lt Cdr requested that I release you last night, and I granted his appeal without hesitation,' Hetty interrupted her, Kensi blinking slightly in astionishment.

'He did that?'

'Of course. Cdr White has always been polite in our dealings.'

'You know Joe?'

Hetty motioned towards Sam with a minute nod.

'Oh.'

Do you know that Joe was there for me when I fell off the edge? That he helped pull me back when I thought I couldn't?

Kensi thought Hetty did, in fact, know her entire history with Joe White but wisely chose not to have that suspicion confirmed.

'Be back as soon as you are able,' Hetty said, dismissing her. Kensi untangled herself from the phone almost sheepishly, ignoring the inquisitive stares of Callen and Sam as she stuffed her badge and phone back into her bag.

'Going somewhere?' Sam finally enquired.

'Hawaii,' Kensi allowed.

'You know when you'll be back?' Callen posed.

'Day tops I think.'

'Whose Joe?'

Kensi rolled her eyes at Deeks, flashing the three men a tight smile and hurried wave as she dashed out the door. Pulling out her smartphone again, she wondered if there was a flight within the next two hours she could catch.

'Hey!'

'Not now Deeks,' Kensi said, unlocking her car and sliding into the driver's seat. She tried to shut the door but couldn't, noting the tanned hand that had a firm grip on the rubber sealing. Kensi sighed, refused to look at him as she waited for him to speak. A minute passed in silence before Kensi finally focused her gaze on Deeks.

'I have a flight to catch-'

'Are you still pissed at me because of the whole Eva thing?'

I thought we had a thing.

Kensi was about to respond sarcastically, something cutting and witty, but the serious look buried behind his blue eyes had her biting her tongue.

'No Deeks. I'm not,' she told him truthfully. Deeks swallowed her answer.

'You need a lift to the airport?'

'I'll catch a cab from my place,' Kensi said, wondering if she imagined the faint flicker of disappointment that flashed through Deeks' eyes.

'I'll pick you up when you get back then.'

Kensi felt her lips curve slightly at his persistence. 'I'll text you the details.'

Deeks nodded, slamming the door to her SUV shut. 'Have fun in Hawaii.'

She drove away with a faint flutter of her fingertips, watched in the rearview mirror as her partner stood there with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. Kensi lifted her eyes away, tightened her grip on the steering wheel.

Maybe I just need a little space to clear my head.

A few feet away Deeks stood, brow furrowed.

'Yeah, it still feels like she's running away from me.'