Guns and Switches

3rd story in the Alexandra Series.

Summary: Alexandra has some life lessons to learn. Alex tries to persuade Adam of her reasons for needing a gun. Adam has some persuasion methods of his own in mind. But there is another life lesson for Alex, one that may prepare her for a special, but difficult journey. A short story.

Warning: CP of a minor in some chapters.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bonanza, or any of its characters. David Dortort and Fred Hamilton created them and played with them for 14 years. The series is owned by NBC.

A.N. You may not understand some of the references in this story unless you have read "Red Chair Blue Chair" or "I've Swallowed the Green Dress." If you've forgotten here it is in a nutshell, as Sierra Rose would say.

After a dramatic adventure in the foothills, Alexandra has accidently let it slip that her Uncle Joe has taught her to fire a gun. Adam is not impressed with either of the youngest Cartwrights and intends to have a necessary talk to both. However both have avoided the consequences so far.

Chapter 1

Who's Who in the Cartwright Zoo.

Adam sat on the porch catching up on Friday's edition on the Territorial Enterprise as Alex played in front of the barn. They had all returned from Sunday's church services to consume a huge lunch that Hop Sing had prepared. Hoss was snoozing upstairs. Ben was going over a few numbers in the account books while enjoying a pipe. Joe had taken Daisymae home after having her over for Lunch. Joe was very careful to behave in an acceptable fashion, which was never really going to be a problem again, not because Pa's discussion had stuck in his mind, but because Alexandra would not leave the poor girl alone with Joe for any amount of time. Joe jumped at the chance to get the young girl home, and some alone time, but most likely to avoid the discussion with Adam that neither brother was looking forward to.

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon and Alexandra was well enough to spend the day playing quietly in the yard, supervised of course. She was very happy to be given some play time and get out of her Sunday dress and petticoats. Ben had got a great deal of fun out of presenting the repaired green dress as an alternative to her good clothes. Her expression was priceless, and Ben waited with baited breath for a unique Alexandra response. He was well rewarded with a lengthy narrative about taking the dress to school for a show and tell parade. Ben made her deliver the speech that was to accompany the assignment entitled, "An Object with Great Significance to My Family," asking pertinent questions in the hope of stumping the child. Of course Alexandra never missed a cue, and her grandfather's questions only fueled her wild imagination.

After a good twenty minutes Ben had to concede defeat, but vowed to fight another day and granted Alex permission to put on her trusty bib overalls. So here she was parading around in front of the line up of her extended Cartwright family, hands behind her back and giving orders.

Adam tried not to laugh at Alex's play. He held his paper up high to hide his chuckles. The kid may be naughty, but she could sure be entertaining. The line up, that is; her posse, was impressive. Each man wore a rough looking tin badge tied around their necks with a ribbon like a medal of honour. Hoss had helped her fashion them from Hop Sing's discarded bean cans.

Leo stood the tallest. At just under 13 hands the grey pony was Alex deputy. The second in charge wore an old cowboy hat sat back on his mane and off his ears. Leo didn't like anything on his ears. A large red checked cotton dishtowel was used as a neckchief and could easily be pulled up to cover his grey velvety nose should his identity need to be disguised. On his back Jasper stood proud, her feathers slightly ruffled as tried to balance on the old saddle blanket. Her beautiful red, tawny and speckled toned feathers shone in the afternoon sun like speckles of gold.

The calf, wearing a new old bonnet, this one pink, another colour Alexandra wouldn't be seen dead in, sat on the animals pretty painted head. Actually without the bonnet the calf would have looked a little menacing, with its one black patch of hide over its left eye, almost like a deranged pirate. Alex had made her a real pirate's hat, but her dad had got all annoyed when he couldn't find the latest edition of the Territorial Enterprise. So she quickly and carefully infolded it and snuck it back to the paper rack next to her grandpa's chair.

Alex had named the calf Erica after Hoss. She had told the small creature that it was an honour to be bestowed upon her. Eric was the name her uncle had been given at birth, and seeing that it was Alex and her Uncle Hoss that had saved it when it had been born, it seemed only fitting that the calf should be named after him.

" I know'd Erica sounds a bit girly," she apologised to the calf, who just stood there looking confused at the blond bobbing head in front of her, "but, then ya gonna grow up ta be a girl miking cow, cause they don't have boy milking cows. Ifin ya don't like jist say so, we can't call ya Hoss, though, cause that would be confusin. It's confusin enough when people think Uncle Hoss name is horse. Suppose we could call you, Cow, but Erica's a fine name and a strong name. And as far as cows go you are tough, jist like me. So, Erica Alexandra Cartwright is a title any calf would be proud of."

Little George sat on Erica's back trying to equal Jasper's proud demeanour. He sat on his back legs, vertical, with his ears at attention giving him some added height.

All four followed Alexandra's pacing strides, "Right men," she bellowed, "You've all done been deputised to protect and serve the good people of this here ranch. Today's job is to watch Hop Sing's garden. Unknown varmints have been spotted in the vicinity of the carrot patch and done damaged to said property." Alexandra suddenly stopped and snapped her glare at Little George.

Her friend looked unperturbed, continuing to wriggle its nose, a sure sign, thought Alexandra, that he was hiding something. "Now I ain't saying it's an inside job, and I'd be most disappointed ifin I was ta find any compunction or was that conniption, combustion…"

"Corruption," corrected Adam.

Alexandra nodded her head, "that's right, C - eruptions in this here posse, but ifin there was ta be, then I'd be guessing that's the proof and ya comeuppance for eating all them carrots. It's our job ta catch these varmints and bring them in. Now, I suspect there will be some reward. Hop Sing, I'm sure will be fraternally grateful, but in saying that, the spoils of this here mission is not the main reason we're doing it. We do this today, men, for the good of all Americans, even though there are some of us who wouldn't give a damn ifin carrots never existed."

"Ah hum, language, Alexandra!" Adam warned.

"Aw, Dad, sheriff's cuss when they're -exciting their posse."

"Really, I must listen more carefully to Roy next time he is inciting his men. Meanwhile, NO cussing, in front of me or not, pretending or not."

"How come damn's a cuss word anyway? I could be talking about a really big waterhole. Ya know, that's why evesdroppin is wrong, Dad, ya get only little bits of the meaning of what's bein said."

"How about I let a bar of soap change your thinking on that?"

"Betcha wouldn't wash Sherriff Roy Coffee's mouth out," she mumbled.

"No, I wouldn't, and I wouldn't wallop his backside for being cheeky, either. Keep going, little one and you might find yourself over my knee before and after supper tonight. You forget, we still need to have our little talk about the use of guns." He smirked raising his eyebrows.

Alex tried not to think about her father's threat and she was smart enough to hold her tongue. Instead she tried to imagine what his huge smile would do if it caught up with his eyebrows once they stopped rising. They'd run smack dang into them, she thought and was certain that the world might turn on its axis or at the very least cause some sort of explosion. Either way she didn't think it would change Adam Cartwrights mind. Her father had yet to carry out the punishment. Alex was hoping something would come to her before bedtime, but as yet nothing had.

Alex pursed her lips and grasped the bib straps of her overalls and pushed out her chest, marching on she continued her rant to her posse, "Like, I was sayin afore I was interrupted by an evesdroppin varmint. It wouldn't upset me none ifin those dog gone varmints, dog gone ain't a cuss word for anyone who listenin…" she yelled over her shoulder. "It would be no skin offa my nose, scuse me Little George, ifin those dog gone varmints stole every last carrot in the whole of the Nevada territory." Adam put the paper higher, smothering the chuckles that kept threatening to come.

"Now, Erica and Little George you is on first watch around the yard. Patrol, got it, jist don't go standing in one place all the time; move around and keep yer eyes peeled for anything suspicious. Leo and Jasper, I want you watchin the vegetable garden. Ya see any movement, don't go do anything without me, jist holler and I will be there in a dash. Corse I won't have a gun, cause well you knowd why, I'm hanging up me guns, and I ain't got a sling shot, either, but I got a real big stick, see here."

Alex moved over to the side of the barn and picked up arather; long crooked looking branch, free of its foliage, and held it high in the air like a staff. "It's jist like the one Mosses had, in the bible, I seen pictures at Sunday school and ifin he could part the red see with it I reckon I got a good chance of stopping any one messing around with Hop Sing's vegetables." She then turned on her heels and ordered, "Okay, men follow me."

Adam still sat behind his paper, as soon as the child, followed by her entourage, passed him and headed for the side of the house, he commanded, "Alexandra, not out of my sight, remember."

Alex pulled up, as did her rather obedient posse. "I remember, you said not out of the yard. Hop Sing's garden is in the yard, Dad."

"Not out of my sight," he calmly repeated as he turned the page and continued to read.

"Da… Dad is darn a cuss word?

"Yes."

"Dangburnit," she whispered. Alex turned to Leo and Jasper. "You two take up position over there in the corner, where I can see ya, don't go outta my sight, that's of course ifin you're allowed outta my daddy's sight… Daaaad are Leo and Jasper restricted too?"

"No they are not restricted. However, I would suggest that Hop Sing will not be at all pleased to have your deputies traipsing all over his garden bed."

While Adam was cheerfully pointing out the hole in Alexandra's game plan, an impatient Leo had plodded off with Jasper riding high behind the child's back towards the garden bed. Erica and little George blindly followed.

Unaware of her mutinous crew, Alexandra had turned to face her father, irate with indignation, "I don't know what you are suggesting, sir. My men are well trained deputies, sworn to up hold the law with a minimum of disruptin, though Erica can't help it sometimes, cause of all the sweet grass she eats."

Just then a tirade of Chinese could be heard over the entire valley. Leo bolted from the side of the house towards the barn leaving, Jasper airborne for a couple of seconds before she landed. Clucking loudly and her feathers ruffled, she scattered to safety under the water trough. Little George was the next to arrive, skidding past Alexandra before spinning and hopping at lightning speed to the barn and no doubt the safety of his hatch. Erica arrived soon after, trotting and bellowing for dear life, as an angry Hop Sing chased the poor creature with a straw broom. Erica was fast and made it to the safety of the ranch gates, where she promptly headed to the field just beyond, her bonnet flapping behind her.

"Jumpin Jehoshaphat, don't nothing go ta plan round here?" Exasperated Alex stormed over to the water trough and got down on all fours to try and reach the hen, "Jasper get outta there. The coast is clear."

However, Jaspers sixth sense told her otherwise, so she did not move. She sat down, feathered up and buried her head deep into her chest.

"Jasper, what are ya doing? Ya chicken! I said the coast is clear."

Adam had by now put his paper down and sat back to watch the drama Alexandra was orchestrating. With his legs spread out and resting on a stool in front of him, he watched Hop Sing sneak up and stand behind the child, who was now on her haunches with her rump in the air, trying to coax the hen out from its hiding place.

A quick wallop with the bristle broom to Alexandra's backside had her immediately abandoned her deputy, come turn coat, and snap her head up, "Owwww! Hop Sing, ya done scared everybody off. We was trying ta catch ya vegetable thief. "

"No point now, little Missy. Little horse stomp all over carrot row. No more carrots to steal. Some hoof prints in cabbage patch, too."

"Really?" Alex smiled, then quickly transformed it to an expression of concern, "Well I'm mighty sorry about that Hop Sing, and I'm apologising on behalf of my men. It's just hard ta get good help these days, but ya know at least the other vegetables are good. Sometimes ya just have ta take the good with the bad. Thems called the spoils and losses of War, Hop Sing. Sometimes things jist come at a cost. Guess this family will jist havta do without carrots and cabbage for a while, bout a year I spect."

"No, only couple of weeks, but make extra work for Hop Sing. No more playing in garden bed," he growled.

"I'm sure Alexandra will be happy to help re-plant, Hop Sing. It would be a good way for her to learn about the labours of love around here," offered Adam.

"Good idea, Mista Adam. Father, Vely clever," praised Hop Sing while poking Alexandra on the shoulder.

Alexandra didn't move until Hop Sing disappeared through the kitchen door. She slowly turned and slumped down on the porch, mumbling to herself, "vely clever father, vely clever father, now I'll never get up to the tree house. I'll be stuck round here forever, till I'm old and grey, getting my butt swiped every time I turn around, wearing dumb ole petticoats and dresses, never knowing how ta do anything ceptin plant vegetables. I ain't gonna make my youngin's eat them, corse I probably never have any youngin's of my own cause I'm stuck here and ain't no boy gonna come courtin. Though sparkin doesn't look that much fun anyway, rather be learning ta shoot a gun, catching fish and organising a real posse, a real gang up at the tree house."

Adam bent over, "We will get the tree house fixed up and ready in time for your birthday. Now stop grizzling, and go fetch your baby calf before he ends up in that Bannock village again."

Alex looked at her father, "ya evesdroppin again, Dad. Besides the calf is outta the yard. I ain't allowed ta leave, remember?"

"I'll watch while you go fetch him. Then we can settle them in for the night and get ready for supper."

Alex jumped up and hugged her dad, "We really gonna get the tree house all fixed up for my birthday?"

"Yep."

"That's only three weeks away, I'll be eleven."

"I know."

"Can we have the party up there?"

"We'll see. If it's fixed, I don't see why not. But, it's only going to be fixed if you stay out of trouble and we can get up there. Understand?"

"Sure, Dad, I'll be good. I been good today haven't I, wanting ta help Hop Sing an all?"

"Yes, you've been very good; now go get your calf."

Alex ran off towards the meadow. Erica was now happily chewing on the spring grass as Alex came up beside her. She re-arranged her bonnet and coaxed the animal forward and back towards the gate where her father stood watch. "Come on Erica, time ta come home, ya need ta get bedded down for the night."

While Alex was walking back with the calf, Joe rode up and stopped between the road and the paddock. "Hey Uncle Joe," greeted Alex, "yer home. Can I ride in front of you?"

"What about your calf there; you got a rope?"

"Nope, but she'll follow."

"Yeah, slowly." With that Joe unhooked his rope from the horn of his saddled and quickly lassoed the calf. "Fix it round her head, Alex. Come on up, she'll keep up with us."

Alex arranged the noose evenly then climbed up in front on her Uncle and held onto to Erica's rope.

"Okay, ready?" asked Joe.

"Yup."

"Good. Whatcha been doing all day, Alex?"

"Playing in the front yard; near the porch. Dad says, I'm restricted for a whole two weeks ta the yard and I havta have somebody watchin me all the time. I ain't been allowed outta his sight all day."

"Oh, but, you are not in the yard now, Alex."

"True, Uncle Joe, dad's jist over there, by the gate, he granted me a … a…"

"Reprieve."

"Ya, ifin that means he give me a break, he did. Hope I get the same consideration tonight after supper. He's dang sure determined ta tan my bare behind every night fer a week."

"Well you broke a big rule, Alex. Not just an Adam rule either, you broke a promise to me, and now ya dads' not happy with me as well."

"Do ya think he's gonna have a discussion with ya in the barn?"

"Yeah I do, Adam's a stubborn…"

"Yankee Granite Head. Maybe he'll grant you a reprieve."

"Maybe, but I do owe him an explanation and an apology."

"Guess that might help."

"Might, don't matter, I owe him one jist the same, whether he decides ta skin me alive or not." Joe looked up and saw Adam leaning on the gate post. He took a huge breath, "I'm jist hopin not."

"Uncle Joe, I'm sorry I snitched. I didn't mean ta. I didn't mean ta get ya inta trouble, heck I didn't mean ta get me inta trouble."

"Your snitching's not what got me into trouble. Breaking yer promise got you into trouble and me a lot of explaining ta do."

"Oh!"

"Yep, OH, you can say that again." Joe arrived at the gate and dropped Alexandra down at Adams feet.

"Little Joe you got a couple of minutes?" asked Adam.

"Yes, Adam I have. I'll just put Cochise away and meet you in the house."

"No, the barn will do," grinned Adam.

Alex looked up into Joe's eyes, apology and guilt written all over her face.

Adam dropped his eyes down to meet Alexandra's. "Why don't you go into the house, wash up for supper." He took the roped calf from her hands, " I'll put Erica away."

"Erica?"questioned Joe.

"Yeah, after Hoss," smirked Adam.

"But, Dad?" interrupted Alexandra, "I gotta a few things ta discuss with my posse."

Adam put his hand on her shoulder, "Alex, they've mutinied," he comforted.

"Yep, yellow belly chickens!" she scowled.

"Yep, now go." He ordered pointing to the house.

"But, Dad, Hop Sing?"

"Ah, who's the yellow belly chicken, now?"

"Me, and I ain't afeared ta admit it, neither."

Alex took her forlorn expression and walked slowly to the house. Once there she tiptoed across the porch to the big front door and peaked inside. The coast seemed clear; she pulled her boots off and snuck into the house and quietly made it up the stairs, where she started to wash up before supper.

Alex went to the window and watched Adam and Joe walk to the barn, each leading an animal. She chewed on her bottom lip as Joe entered with Cochise. She was about to step back, when Adam stopped, looked up at her window and met her eyes. He frowned, then undid his belt buckle before going into the barn.

Alex threw herself on the bed. "Dang, blast, damn, damn, blasted, dang, darn," she cussed and purged aloud, "this is all my doin'. Poor Uncle Little Joe."

TBC

Chapter 2

Oh Brother.

A.N. Okay, so this is a continuation of the last story, but I was sick of that title and the green dress, and I needed to clear up a few things. This should not be too long, but I want to bring in a few things before the next long story, Katherine's story. Again you will get some snippets of information, before all the pieces come together. Thanks for all the reviews for the green dress. I have taken all your opinions into account with the next chapter, thanks for the discussion and the ideas, especially Carita, thewizardandthedragon and Lajoci, who also helped me fix this up. Please Review.