[Ah what a beautiful day and an equally beautiful sight for a race today. Today's Wacky Race will take place in the Green Hill Zone. It looks like the racers are equally confident in victory, especially Sonic. Sonic should have the advantage over the others, having been here before and all, but it looks like the others aren't willing to give Sonic a chance of winning, especially Dick Dastardly and Hotel Mario.]
"That Sonic will not win," thought Hotel Mario. "I will do anything to make sure that rat loses."
"So, Muttley," Dick said to his dog. "Sonic has the advantage over us. Well, not if I, Dick Dastardly, has anything to say about it."
[Red Light, Yellow light, GREEN LIGHT! And there they go! In the lead is Ed, Edd, n Eddy. In 2nd place is our home racer, Sonic. In 3rd place is I.M. Meen. The others are battling for positions. All the way back is Hotel Mario and Dick Dastardly. They seem to be having a discussion. I wonder what it is?]
"You hate that hedgehog right," asked Dick.
"Yes, I hate that stupid rodent," replied Hotel Mario.
"How much do you hate him," Dick asked.
"I would willingly join with you if it takes from getting Sonic away from the 1st place line," replied Mario.
"Well, you got yourself a truce," said Dick, extending his hand to Hotel Mario. "For the rest of the race, I won't pull any tricks on you and you won't pull anything on me. Together we will not only get rid of that rodent, but take the podium."
"Truce," agreed Hotel Mario, extending his hand to Dick. The two gave each other a handshake. However, Dick had his fingers crossed on behind his back on the other hand.
[It seems that Dick and Hotel Mario is having a truce. Now, let's see how the other racers are doing. Well, well, it doesn't look good for Sonic's enemy, Dr. Robotnik, as he is in last place behind M. Bison. Can the good, er, bad doctor find a way to turn this around?]
"Move! Move," Robotnik shouted to seemingly nobody. "Can you see that we're falling behind. M. Bison is losing us!"
"I'm trying Robotnik, your evilness," said a voice underneath the hood that sounds exactly like Grounder, one of his henchmen.
"Well try harder Grounder! Or else a certain dumb bot will get demoted to scrap pile," Robotnik threatened.
The Eggmobile started to pick up speed and was soon on the Buffalo Charger's tail. However, Dr. Robotnik was still not satisfied with the speed he is going. He pressed a button with the words, Popcorn Machine Gun. A robot chicken's head popped out of the back and started firing popcorn kernels. Somehow, this made the Eggmobile pick up even more speed. Dr. Robotnik stuck his tongue out at M. Bison as he passes him. The robot chicken head fired the kernels at M. Bison's head.
"You dare mock me with these popcorn seeds Robotnik," yelled Bison, furious about his face getting assaulted. "You will pay for this!"
Bison cupped his hands. Blue energy formed around the cupped hands. Bison shouted something that was hard to understand and uncupped his hands, throwing the energy as if it was a ball. The ball of energy hit the chicken head, disabling it. Robotnik looked to see what happened only to see that the chicken head is disabled. He laughed. It was nothing serious. He could fix it in a week. Suddenly, he heard some popping noises coming from his car. He panicked. Somehow, Bison's energy ball managed to heat up the kernels. Robotnik could only helplessly panic as the Eggmobile bloated up like a balloon. At last, the car couldn't bloat up any further and it exploded, sending Robotnik flying. Bison smirked as he watched his opponent soar through the air.
[It looks like Robotnik is out of the race for awhile. Now, let's check on the Eds.]
"Hey Double Dee, what does the R on this lever thing do," Ed asked, his hand on the lever.
"ED! Don't touch that," shouted Double Dee. Ed, however, ignored Edd's order and pulled the lever to R. The Ed-Mobile went backwards. Eddy tried to pull the lever forward, only to discover that it's jammed. Sonic, seeing the trio race towards him, pressed a button that simply says Springs. The Sonic Wind leaped up into the air as if it was launched by a spring. The Eds passed under the Sonic Wind. I.M. Meen tried to push a button, but he was too late. The Eds crashed into him. The two cars continued going backwards, crashing into Fonzie's motorcycle, The King's Dinner Mobile, and Gaston's Steam Car. The cars finally stopped moving backwards when they hit Mama Luigi and Gay Luigi's Egg-Spaghetti.
"Not cool," commented Fonzie.
"No one displays such stupidity like Ed," Gaston agreed.
"Why mii," asked I.M. Meen, sad that his car is sandwiched between all the others'.
[Uh oh! There's been a pileup courtesy of the Eds. Meanwhile, it looks like Hotel Mario and Dick Dastardly are up to something….Aw what a cute little crab robot.]
"Thanks, I made it myself," said Dick. "Now, I know you want me to tell my plan, right?"
[Uh yeah of course.]
"Well, I'm going to throw this little robot on Sonic." Said Hotel Mario. "I'd like to see that disgusting rat be able to drive with this little beaut clinging to his face."
Dick Dastardly picked up the sound of the Sonic Wind roaring towards them. "Here he comes! Ready Mario? Now, when I give the signal, you throw the crab got it?"
"Yes," Hotel Mario replied, picking up the crab.
Dick Dastardly comes by to watch Sonic. He waited until the hedgehog was about 30 yards away before he gives Hotel Mario the signal. Mario threw into the air and watched, getting excited over seeing Sonic humiliated. However, to his disappointment, Felicia, who was just right behind his blue enemy, passed him. The crab ended up falling on her face. Dick Dastardly, not caring if either Felicia or Sonic was the victim, laughed at her. Felicia lost control of her and eventually crashed into a tree. She clawed at the robot, trying desperately to get it off. While Dick Dastardly was laughing his head off, Hotel Mario walked up to her. She obviously wasn't his intended victim and he was hoping that he could take the crab off her and be able to use it again. He grabbed the crab and with a forceful pull, got the crab off her. However, the crab simply latched on to his face. Dick Dastardly was still laughing when he saw his temporary partner screaming and struggling to pull off the crab. He stopped laughing for a little before continuing on.
"Ah, the cartoon villain's club was right," Dick commented. "When something bad is happening to someone else, it's funny."
"Yeah, yeah," Muttley agreed. He then proceeded to give a wheezing laugh.
[Sonic is still in the lead, but the group of crashed drivers have recovered and are now hot on his trail. It's a little hard to tell, but it seems like the group is lead by the Fonz. Meanwhile, the guys who started the whole thing, the Eds, are in last place.]
"Now look what you did," shouted Eddy. "We were in the lead, and now look where we are."
"I'm sorry Eddy," replied Ed, sad of causing his team to move into last place.
"Now, now Eddy," said Edd. "I'm sure we'll be in first soon,"
"I hope so," shouted Eddy. "I betted 3 jawbreakers that we would be in either 1st 2nd or 3rd."
[So Eds, do you three have any idea on how to get back on your feet?]
"Yes. We can call the Monster of the Applecorn Suburb," replied Ed.
"Ed, shut up," Eddy replied.
"We really don't have an idea," Edd answered. "I'll think of something though."
[Nothing seems to be happening much. Oh, I guess Fonzie is quickly gaining on Sonic and may pass him soon, but nothing else. Oh hey, Hotel Mario and Dick Dastardly are planning on a way to screw with Sonic. Now, Dick and Mario, what do you have in store for Sonic?]
"You see that ramp? We slathered super glue on the ramp. When Sonic or any other racer gets on the ramp, they'll be sent flying into the water. There, little robot fish will tear the racers apart." Explained Dick.
"Oh here comes that hedgehog," Hotel Mario said excitedly. "Oh this is going to be good."
As Sonic drives towards the ramp, Fonzie manages to pass him. Too Hotel Mario's horror, Fonzie's bike gets stuck. The stop was sudden enough to find the 50s hoodlum flying. He fell right into the water. Dick was snickering at Fonz's predicament, but Hotel Mario knew better. He knew that somehow, he will get out, unhurt and angry. Hotel Mario sneaked into his car and drove off in a hurry.
"Not so cool are you now Fonzie," asked Dick in a taunting tone of voice. Muttley snickered in reply.
While Dick and Muttley were snickering, Fonz got out of the water with his leather jacket ripped out and he looked like he is ready to kill someone. He spotted the snickering Dick and quickly moved towards him. Dick stopped snickering and froze in fear as Fonz approached him. Fonz grabbed Dick by the collar and lifted him up.
"You think that's funny," asked and enraged Fonz.
"Uh..uh.," stammered Dick. "Yes,"
Fonz threw Dick to a nearby tree. Coconuts fell from the tree and landed on his head. Muttley did nothing, but snicker.
[And the beat goes on. It seems like Gaston and Morshu are having a firefight.]
"No one shoots like Gaston," boasted Gaston as he took aim and fired at Morshu. The bullets narrowly missed the fat shopkeeper. Morshu in reply, aimed his rifle and fired. Gaston ducked, but unfortunately, the bullet struck his boiler, creating a hole. Steam jetted out of the hole, causing the Steam Car to move slower.
"Sorry Gaston, I can't help you out. Come back when your engine is a little MMMM stronger," Morshu taunted as he left Gaston far behind.
"I'll get you for this stupid shopkeeper," shouted Gaston as he witnessed his opponent drive out of site.
[With Gaston slowing down, his chances of victory are slim. Meanwhile, the King is trying to get the Eds off his tail]
"HMM," The King thought to himself. "How can I get these 3 boys off my tail? Oh course! I have my dinner blaster."
The King suddenly laughed like a loon before pulling out a brightly colored gun that looks like a cannon of sorts. "Dinner blaster," he said before shooting jawbreakers at the 3 boys. Edd and Eddy ducked, but Ed didn't.
"Jawbreakers," Ed shouted before opening his mouth wide. Instead of getting into his mouth, the jawbreakers hit him in the head, knocking him out.
The King laughed maniacally as he continued his rampage on the Eds. Eventually though, his ammo ran out. He reached to find another Dinner Blast. This gave the boys enough time to grab any discarded jawbreakers that happened to land in the cars. The boys threw the jawbreakers at the King's head, knocking him out.
"So long, King," Eddy yelled to the knocked out king as they drive past.
[You know the drill by now. Sonic is still in 1st, but someone is right on his tail. Challenging the hedgehog for the lead is SpongeBob and Patrick. Hey, it's a loop de loop. Oh hey, it's Hotel Mario and Dick Dastardly hanging out near the loop de loop. I wonder why they are doing that?]
"We're here to see our newest trap in action," announced Dick.
"When the rodent gets to the top, it will trigger an bomb we hidden. That hedgehog will be buried," explained Hotel Mario. "OH I can't wait."
"Quiet," shouted Dick. "Here he comes."
As Sonic neared the loop de loop, SpongeBob and Patrick passed him. As the 2 gets up the loop, the bomb exploded. SpongeBob and Patrick instantly become buried in the rubble. Dick Dastardly and Muttley would have laughed, but they and Hotel Mario were too close to the loop de loop and as a result, they were too buried.
"Drat, Drat and Double Drat," Dick Dastardly yelled underneath the rubble.
"I hate that hedgehog," Hotel Mario yelled. Muttley cursed out something that was incomprehensible.
[As we near the finish line, It's Felicia out in front with the Eds in 2nd place and in 3rd is Sonic. Sonic may be in front again real soon, because it looks like he has something up his sleeves]
Sonic pressed a button that spells Wheel O Feet. The Sonic Wind made a small jump. The wheels reared in the car and different wheels came out. They were pretty much 3 sticks with red shoes on the end. The transformation happened too fast for the naked eye. The Sonic Wind picked up speed and before Sonic knew it, he was ahead of the Eds. 6 seconds later, he has passed Felicia for the lead.
[Sonic is now in front]
"Me lose in this place," asked Sonic. "No way."
[In a distant 4th and 5th are Robotnik and Captain Falcon. Huh hold on, I'm hearing random Japanese anime music. Captain Falcon seems to be ready to take out Robotnik.]
Captain Falcon leaped out of his cockpit. Robotnik, knowing what Captain Falcon was about to do, quickly raised his shield.
"FALCON PUNCH," Captain Falcon screamed as he punched Robotnik, intending to destroy his car. Light quickly engulfed both the cars. When the light disappeared. The Eggmobile ended up rolling at high speed. Luckily for the doctor, the shield managed to withstand the Falcon Punch. However, the force of the punch was still enough to give Robotnik a huge push. Robotnik rolled at extremely high speeds. He easily soared past the Eds, Felicia and finally, his enemy, Sonic. Robotnik proceeded to roll across the finish line in first.
[Well what do you know? With a little help from Captain Falcon, Robotnik has gotten past Sonic and won the race.]
"Huh," said Robotnik confused. "I won? I won! I did it, I did it, I beat Sonic! AHAHAHA!"
[Locked in a battle for 2nd is Felicia and Sonic. My money is on Sonic getting the silver. I can't see how his Wheel O Feet can possibly fail]
"See ya," taunted Sonic as he drove further and further away from Felicia. As Sonic was busy taunting Felicia, the Blue Wind bumped into a rock. The rock managed to break one of the wheels, slowing Sonic down and causing his car to wobble a bit.
[Sonic has lost a wheel. I still have confidence in Sonic, but it looks like Felicia's situation isn't completely hopeless either.]
"Hey, no problem. I can still get around with 3 wheels," said Sonic. Just as he announced that, he bumped into another rock. As before, the rock broke a wheel. The Blue Wind reared up. The two back wheels are now supporting the weight. Sonic can only watched as Felicia drives past him.
"Bye Sonic," Felicia said before racing past him.
[In 2nd place we find Felicia. Ok, Sonic is having a little trouble, but I don't think the Eds can catch up to him.]
Sonic, unfortunately, hits another rock. The rock breaks the left wheel. The Blue Wind, now with one wheel to support it's weight, wobbles around dangerously. Sonic is too busy making sure that his car doesn't fall down to notice the Eds drive past him and cross the finish line before him.
[In 3rd place is the Eds. Sonic barely crosses the finish to accept 4th. All the other racers cross the finish line. But, where is Hotel Mario and Dick Dastardly?]
"What do you think, stupid," Dick yelled out from the rubble that he, Muttley, and Hotel Mario are still buried in.
"Did Sonic lose," asked Hotel Mario.
"Shut up," Dick yelled in reply.
1st: Dr. Robotnik
2nd: Felicia
3rd: Ed, Edd, n Eddy
4th: Sonic
5th: Captain Falcon
6th: Gaston
7th: Bison
8th: Dr. Rabbit
9th: Mama Luigi and Gay Luigi
10th: Morshu
11th: SpongeBob and Patrick
12th: Fonz
13th: The King
14th: Hotel Mario and Dick Dastardly