A song fic based off of Abney Park's song, Downtrodden. Hope it's okay.

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN TEEN TITANS NOR DO I OWN THE SONG!

I thought with the defeat of my father, my life would finally start. I had thought that my days would be filled with the joy my friends brought to it along with the satisfaction that defeating the villains brought. And that's how it started. Every day was a new adventure as I searched for new limits, and it brought me joy. Yet, this joy brought another realization to my attention, one that now brings me standing alone on a bridge in the cold darkness of the night. My entire life was spent training and working to make up for the horrible things I had been destined to do, but now…what did I have that was truly mine? I was even starting to lose her friends. They were getting older now; they were starting to look for things like love. Robin and Starfire were together, finally; Beastboy had Terra, and Cyborg had Bumblebee. Who did I have? Who would always be there for me? I can't believe that I had once thought that this would last forever. But, I never did, did I? I just never acknowledged the possibility of an end. Now everything that I depended on for stability in my life was disappearing.

Once I was complete
With the earth firm under my feet
My back was strong, my body fleet
And now I ache all over
Now I ache all over

I didn't give up hope, at first. I continued the belief that we would all still be together. But then movie night started to turn to date night and I found myself bothered less and less by request to go to the park for a group outing or to the roof for a game of 'stankball' or some other such game. I even found that they became more and more dependent on each other, their synchronicity became more pronounced, too bad that that didn't include me. I even dared to ignore a few calls, just trying to get Robin riled up to yell at me. I just wanted them to notice that I was still here. Not even that worked. I worked hard when I was little, but the monks never expected me to become an adult, and, frankly, neither did I, so, I lacked the knowledge in areas of life. This included the part about growing up, about love, and about the future. What could I do now?

I learned each virtue I was told
I worked hard to avoid the mold
But as I saw my life unfold
There was no place for me
There was no place for me

Azarath was gone, and the only people I knew didn't notice me anymore, I had nothing left from my past. I wasn't even needed to save the day anymore. I was losing everything and there was nothing I could grab to replace it. There was nothing I could use to make a net, there was only a black abyss that I had ahead of me. I tried to find a job, first as Raven, because I really had nothing else to go as, but nobody wanted me. They didn't want their place of business to turn into a tourist attraction because of me nor were they keen on the idea of possible being targeted. I didn't blame them. Then I tried an alias, Rachel. But, Rachel had no school records; no birth certificate, nothing, and I didn't have the skill to create such things. And I dared not ask Cyborg, he would tell me I was being silly.

I've been beat, I've been broken
I asked for a place and the world has spoken
I was asleep, but now that I've woken
I preferred my dreams.

Continually I thought back to the days, the days when I would glare daggers at Beastboy for interrupting my solitude to drag me off to referee another weird game he just came up with, but, secretly, I enjoyed every minute of it. Nothing brought me more joy then to be working or playing side by side with my friends. It felt like it all ended too soon, and now I was being left alone, so far behind them all that not even my screams would probably reach them. I could only watch as they slip further and further from my out reached hand as the ground crumbles beneath me, ready to swallow me up and make me disappear forever. I wished for those joyful days to return.

I'm tired guilt, I'm tired of crying
I'm tired of work and I'm finished trying
I'm tired of living and I'm scared of dying
But there is nothing else.

My nearly nightly ventures to this bridge out in the middle of nowhere slowly became daily ventures. Sometimes, when the depression gets particularly bad, I would stay here for almost two days, that number slowly grew. But, what was worse was when I came back, they would have hardly noticed me missing. If I was lucky, one of them would give me a; 'Hey, Raven, did you have a nice meditation?' And that made it all the harder to stay. They never noticed me gone for days at a time. Was I that unimportant?

It was hard as I begun;
Each day harder it has become.

Every time I came, my eyes would gaze down at the reflective waters below; wondering if today would be the day I would decide to join their lazy travels. I would always wonder how long it would take the Titans to notice that I never returned. Would some sixth sense kick in and they would instantly know that something was wrong? That I was no longer among the living? Or would it be that they would slowly begin to notice the dust gathering on my tea cup as my tea remains untouched and begin to wonder? Would they even notice I was gone before my body was discovered? The curiosity to find out grows stronger and stronger, and I am beginning to wonder how long would I be able to fight the urge to find out the answer?

Once I was complete
With the earth firm under my feet
My back was strong, my body fleet
And now I ache all over
Now I ache all over

I always go back, hoping maybe this was the time they would notice me missing. Maybe today they would be looking for me. Maybe they finally notice me missing. I didn't want to disappear, after fighting my father, after everything I've done to live; I didn't want to throw it all away. But I just couldn't find someplace to belong as the life that I had fought for slipped away, leaving me with nothing, belonging nowhere. It wouldn't be long before I no longer had the strength to fight, I might not have already. I have noticed my powers were slipping, my depression causing them to also become as unreachable as my friends. I also noticed I was starting to not bother reaching for either.

I learned each virtue I was told
I worked hard to avoid the mold
But as I saw my life unfold
There was no place for me
There was no place for me

How long did life expect me to wait? Was it that 'God' was laughing at me? Was 'He' looking down at the pitiful half-demon with disgust that most of Azarath had looked at me with? Azar, I didn't know how much longer I could wait, how much would I have to endure before I would find happiness that would last? I was no longer wanted in the only place I called my home. The giant T loomed every time I returned from my suburban hideaway, a foreshadowing solitary figure that told of my loneliness while it gave the rest of the city hope. The only people I had come to call my family didn't even acknowledge me anymore, I failed to see where the hope that the T brought to the rest of the city.

I've been beat, I've been broken
I asked for a place and the world has spoken
I was asleep, but now that I've woken
I preferred my dreams.

A cold breeze brought me back to staring at the empty waters below, chilling me into a needed numbness. I leaned against the cold bars of the fence erected for the protection of those crossing; preventing anyone from falling it, and, now, it only helped my numbness. The quiet waters below moving hypnotically slow, tempting me with the peace that I sought. The waters seemed to want me. Why did I fight that?

I'm tired of guilt, I'm tired of crying
I'm tired of living and I'm scared of dying
I'm tired of work and I'm finished trying
But there is nothing else.

Today was the day. I was tired of waiting. I was tired of fighting. I was tired of falling. I was tired of crying. And as I slipped between the bars that had always separated me from the edge, fear welled in my chest, fear that the calm, dark waters below didn't seem to quell. Them moved below me slowly and silently, exempted from the light the moon reflected, causing it to look like the dark abyss that had plagued me for years after the defeat of my father. I stood at the edge, my toes curled around the edge through the thin soles of my boots as my grip on the bars loosened. "It's not like anyone would even notice." I spoke out loud. Those would be the first words I have spoken out loud in a long time; Ironic that they would be my last. I let go and closed my eyes as I fell, feeling the pain disappear as my body started its plunge towards the icy nothingness.

It was hard as I begun;
Each day harder it has become.

It was a moment after I felt my feet leave the surface of the bridge was when I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me back, forcing my feet back to cold surface of the bridge, and my body against a warm chest. "I don't think so, Sunshine." Cooed an all too familiar synthetized voice.

Once I was complete
With the earth firm under my feet
My back was strong, my body fleet
Now I ache all over
Now I ache all over

"Let me go, please, just let me go, X." I pleaded, my voice sounding more tired and desperate then I had realized I was. I just wanted to disappear, and, if his tightening grip told me anything, he wasn't going to allow it.

"After all that I went through to find you? Not a chance, Sunshine." He said quietly, his ever annoying chuckle accompanying it. His arrogant attitude was only bringing my rage to the surface as I tried to fight back frustrated tears with little success. Why? Why was it that this…thief noticed me before my own friends did? Why was he the only one who seemed to care?

"I caught you, Raven, and I'm not letting you go." He quietly promised in my ear as we stood alone on that bridge in the dark of the night. There was finally someone there to offering me a hand to help me walk.

My first Red X Rae fic. Just something that came to me at 7 am after being woken up at 5am. Hope it was okay at least.