Freedom out of Reach.

Summary: Based loosely of the 2x06 trailer: 'You have given me the power to destroy you, Don't think I wont use it' 'You've already destroyed me' she whispered, wiping a fallen tear as he walked out the room. All Edith and Sybil could do was hold in their tears as they watched through the hatch. Who can save Mary from her damned fate with a monstrous man. And who will help Mary to get back up. (Mentions of rape)

Matthew/Mary.

Rating/ M

Thank you to: lol978, Kissthespider26, hrhdana, Syblime, Imagione,

Next chapter: Downstairs will find out, Mary and Matthew will finally talk about everything.

Mary sat in the library, there was little comfort in it but this was a place she'd always enjoyed spending her time, due to her fascination of novels and she wasn't going to let him ruin it. She walked over to the shelves and picked out the story of Andromeda, what a mistake she'd made all those years ago. Richard was the sea monster and Matthew was Perseus, if only she'd known back then.

"And what would you be reading, Lady Mary" speak of the devil, Mary thought, this often happened, one single thought about Matthew and he would often just end up being there.

"The story of Andromeda, although I'm afraid the characters have changed." Mary replied before sitting in one of the chairs, he looked slight awkward, like he didn't know what to say. "I'm still me Matthew" she announced.

"I just don't get how you can act as if nothings happened" Matthew expected her to be more distant and closed off.

"Well that's just what he wanted and you know me Matthew, I never do what I'm told. I won't let him change me." Mary began to read the book making Matthew wonder.

"Why have the characters changed?" Mary smiled and closed the book, she turned to face him.

"He is the true sea monster, not you that was me being bitter and sharp when you first came, you were after all stealing my inheritance."

"So who is Perseus." Matthew asked as he remembered the first dinner he'd ever shared with them and how the dowager countess had gasped at Mary's blatant talk of nakedness.

"It would not do one any favours to presume, after all, Who is my knight in shining armour?" Mary asked, she knew that Matthew would always be her Perseus but she couldn't very well say it due to his lack of faith in himself these days.

"I'm glad you're still keeping me around mind" Matthew frowned, he hadn't understood what she meant "Well when you still weren't strong enough to push yourself and we were in the garden you said that if I wasn't engaged you wouldn't let me be around you."

"Is it my fault?" Matthew asked suddenly, Mary shook her head.

"No his actions were his own but what triggered them was my fault, he knew that I would much rather be with you than with him. He even suggested to mama that she bring Lavinia back, of course mama didn't because she thought you could decide that on your own." Matthew nodded, he was glad that Lavinia hadn't been brought back because now that he knew the real reasons that Mary didn't accept his proposal and he was supposedly on the mend, perhaps there is hope for them.

"Why didn't you tell me Mary, about Kemal?" Mary lowered her head, she knew this issue would come up, it was like a time bomb waiting to explode.

"I was ashamed of myself, with Richard I knew he wasn't as honourable as you therefore I didn't feel guilty about keeping it secret well until Mr Bates's wife Vera who's now dead went to Richard with the story starting the whole blackmail thing that he had over me. But you everyday you would do something that would just make you a better man in my eyes and I not worthy of it. And how was I supposed to tell you that a man came into my bedroom and kissed me and then died. It was scandalous for him to even be there without even mentioning what he said to me, that would make Granny blush." Matthew stared out of the window for a while taking everything in.

"You didn't sleep with Kemal"

"In black in white, I was still virtuous until last night." This made Matthew's blood boil, Richard had taken it.

"I don't think I shall ever marry now"

"I don't believe that Mary, you will marry, if it not for my lack of movement past my waist I would marry you.""No Matthew" Mary disagreed. "You would marry Lavinia" Mary stood up resolved to the fact that she wasn't going to end up reading the book.

"I love the idea of someone loving me and that's what I loved about Lavinia the fact that I knew she loved me. Whereas with you I was and still am in love with you there's a difference. Settling for second best." Mary didn't know whether to believe him or not, after everything had happened how could he possibly still love her?

"Why, I'm damaged goods, I don't see why you should want me" Matthew ran a hand through his hair, he knew it wasn't going to be easy, convincing Mary that he wants her.

"I know you may not believe me now, but one day you will" Matthew decided to leave at that point, they'd said everything they needed to say and now Mary could think things over.

Later on, Matthew was talking to William (I wasn't going to let him die now was I?) who although there was the difference between them had grown closer during the war.

"I just wish I'd gotten that chance to hit him, get my anger out on the man who did that to Mary" Matthew complained as his anger towards that man was still fresh.

"Would it have done any good though sir?" William asked, Matthew may have forgotten William's station, but he sure hadn't.

"He took Mary's honour, her virtue, when he had no right. And it would give me some comfort that I'd defended her but last night I was so shocked when she just froze, she was petrified as she saw him. I've never seen Mary like that before." William nodded, not knowing what to say, he didn't know how he would feel if something like that happened to daisy.

"Well Sir, Carson will be expecting me to be down to go and pick up the meals for lunch." Matthew nodded, as William stood up and walked back downstairs. He noticed Anna and stopped her.

"Did you know what the reason for Richard Carlisle's sudden banishment was?" William asked as they stood beside the staircase, there was no one around as most were doing their duties."No, I don't think Mary wanted to talk about it and Edith and Sybil were pretty shaken up about it" William understood that but he knew as well as Anna knew that as much as he tries he's terrible at keeping a secret.

"Sir Richard raped Mary"

"Oh that poor girl" O'Brian suddenly commented as they turned, Anna knew then that everyone would know, O'Brian would tell Thomas who would tell everyone. William bit his lip, he knew he could tell Anna because she was likely to find out anyway, but he'd hoped that would be all that knew.

"Don't worry about it William, everyone would have found out eventually anyway" Anna whispered as O'Brian walked away.

William nodded reluctantly, Matthew had placed his trust in him so he would hate for that to be lost.

…

Cora didn't know what to do, this latest issue meant that Mary was still not getting married and every day that passes is one less day of bearing children, being a good a dutiful wife. But she didn't want to push Mary after what happened last night, and truly she didn't really want Mary to marry Richard. But could she count on Matthew getting better and giving Mary a chance.

"Cora, we need to talk about Mary" She'd been expecting this, she couldn't have imagined that he wouldn't ask her about that night. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have been ashamed of Mary's actions but I would never have disowned her. I would have got past it and helped her when people like Sir Richard Carlisle started blackmailing her"

"I was in shock that I had to carry with Anna and Mary a man the whole length of the house, I wasn't prepared to give you a heart attack."

"How did he even get there?" Robert asked, it wasn't likely that Kemal had time to search around the house and he doubted Mary would tell him where to go. "It must have been one of the servants, we should ask Carson who was looking after Kemal that day." "How is Mary today?"

"Well apparently, Cousin Isobel went to go and look for Matthew, but noticed as she opened the library door that he and Mary were talking." Cora hoped that Mary would have happiness once she gets over the rape and it seems that Matthew is prepared to be there for her.

Well this was definitely later than I wanted to update, but I've honestly been so busy but hopefully after this chapter is posted I will get the next one out soon after.

Next Chapter: The Spanish flu hits Downton.