Author's Rant: I'm going to try my hand at a one shot again since I'm forced to stay in bed. This was inspired by a story called Yusuke and Kuwabara's Interesting Conversation by XxFiresongxX. By reading this fic it made me wonder. What if Inuyasha and Sesshomaru had a similar conversation. Hmmm.

Warnings: Yaoi, Yuri implications. Don't like don't read.

A Very UnBrotherly Conversation

With the battle of all those who opposed the Inu brothers for so many years, now lain to rest, an easier mode of relaxation was in full swing. Kagome had returned from her time to live peacefully in the village as Kaede's aid along with Rin and Jaken occasionally coming for a visit. Miroku and Sango were celebrating their third child, while Shippo and Kohaku were teamed up as the undeniable demon slayer duo.

So where exactly would this leave Inuyasha and Sesshomaru with nothing else to do but battle each other time and time again. But after weeks of constant back and forths between them, without anyone coming out the victor, a silent draw was declared and the two made peace with each over a cup of tea.

And as usual when these two were placed within the other's place, some rather interesting topics would be discussed that only Inuyasha could attempt his stiff brother to participate in.

Inuyasha sat back against the Sacred Tree sipping a cup of green tea as he thought over his next question for the current conversation, "Err. . . Koga and Miroku. Who'd be Alpha?"

Sesshomaru sat beside him pouring another cup of tea, "The wolf demon," he answered on beat. He sipped the tea and thought a moment. "You and the monk."

"Pfft please that's me all day." Inuyasha snorted arrogantly.

"Perhaps. The monk does lack the strength for it."

"No shit. Ok lemme see." Inuyasha twisted his cup around. "I got one, you and Naraku."

Sesshomaru nearly choked on his tea and delicately wiped his lip of the spilled drop, "Don't lump me in the same mold as that fool."

"Awww what's wrong? Is the widdle puppy scared the big bad spider would make him his bitchy witchy?"

"Burn in hell Inuyasha," Sesshomaru mumbled bored. "You and the wolf demon."

Inuyasha sat up and glared. "Are you fucking insane? I'd run that mangy runt into the ground!"

"I doubt that." Sesshomaru drunk some more. "The ill-mannered savage is likely used to dominating a bitches. A pitiful hanyou would be less trouble."

"Fuck you and your incorrect logic," Huffed the pissy hanyou. Inuyasha flopped back against the tree. "Anyway, my turn. Who'd be top, Naraku or Bankotsu?"

The brothers shared a disturbing look before nodding their agreement. "Bankotsu." They said at the same time.

Sesshomaru placed his cup to the side and pulled up his leg, throwing his arm over the knee. "It's my go. Naraku and the monk. Who'd be Alpha?"

". . . .The monk." They said together.

"Naraku and Koga?" Inuyasha picked.

"The wolf." Sesshomaru answered immediately.

"Yea gotta agree with a ya there."

"Indeed," Sesshomaru looked at his brother's profile. "the frilly human and the monk."

"Hmm, I'm gonna say Miroku would top Jakotsu."

"Agreed."

Inuyasha sat up to see Sesshomaru's face better for this one, "Totosai and Miyoga."

"Disgusting," Sesshomaru rolled his eyes skyward. "Miyoga."

"Nah I'm giving props to da' old man." Inuyasha shrugged.

"Totosai lacks the memory to remember how it works." Sesshomaru tasted more of his tea.

"Keh, if you say so." Inuyasha finished off his tea. Guess that kinda made sense.

Sesshomaru calmly picked a leaf off his arm and casually choose the next pair, "The spider child and the fox child."

"Gah—Hakudoshi and Shippo?" Inuyasha shook his head frantically trying to erase such a disturbing image. "No, nuh-uh, I ain't comparing kids. That's sick!"

"That'll be a discussion for another time I suppose."

"Tsk sick fuck," Inuyasha looked to the sky and blinked. "You or Koga?"

"Please, such a ridiculous choice. You're challenging my status against another Alpha? I'll still dominate."

"Are you kidding me? Koga would rape your ass."

"The wolf would be my bitch before the day was through and remember his master's name by noon."

"Well, well, well, someone's full of himself." Inuyasha teased.

"I only speak the truth. Now than, you or that sexually confused human on your mortal night."

Inuyasha answered pissed. "I'd ram Jakotsu as a demon or human!"

"I agree."

Inuyasha suddenly gained a shitty smirk. "Rin or Sango."

Sesshomaru paused and shook his head slightly, "You're a depraved fool who'll burn in hell for all eternity."

"Just answer the damn question."

"I refuse to bring my charge in the midst of this disturbing conversation." Than Sesshomaru glinted an equally malicious shine. "How would you like it if I compared your quarrelling wenches?"

"Keh, that's Kikyo all the way." Inuyasha answered confident and unfazed. "Kagome doesn't have the balls to be Alpha."

"It seems you've had time to think it over," Sesshomaru said sarcastically.

"Who knows, I gotta a lot of time on my hands to think of a dead woman with a living one."

"Seek help."

"I'm gonna need it after this." Inuyasha looked at him. "Our old man or Takemaru?"

"Father of course. He's a match for anyone."

"Ah geez just ride the guy's nuts why don't cha?" Inuyasha huffed a snort. "But I'll say the old man's probably got something under all that fur."

"Would you care to know?"

"Ew no." Inuyasha paused before his next question. "You or me."

"Hn, Such a trivial option." Chuckled Sesshomaru.

"Yea you're right." Inuyasha snickered too. "It's so obvious, it's almost funny."

"You're correct."

"I would be Alpha." Came the unified agreement.

The two turned to see the other had echoed exactly what they were thinking. Inuyasha growled, Sesshomaru glared.

"Yo," Inuyahsa began slowly narrowing his eyes. "You don't honestly think you'd top me right?"

Sesshomaru sat up, "Do you really think the likes of some common mongrel would dominate me? Lord Sesshomaru? If I took you to my bed, you'd be weeping like the pup you are."

"Oh come on," Inuyasha laughed hysterically. "Dude as if I'd let some woman looking she-man top me. I'd be Alpha."

"You're delusional."

"And you're nuts."

Sesshomaru flipped a locket of hair over his shoulder, which only proved Inuyasha's point. "See, you see? Ain't no way in hell I'm getting outdone by a girly faced sadist!"

"I'd have you begging my for knot Inuyasha."

"And I'd have you sucking mines dry!"

"The Alpha status is mine."

"No way, I'm top dog!"

"Care to try me?"

"Yea!"

By this time, the two had risen to their full heights. The tea had been forgotten, and so had their verbal truce made only fifteen minutes ago. Clashing hazel gold, struck left and right up and down as the tension grew heavier and heavier.

Just than Shippo and Kohaku appeared from one of the fields after another training session to find the Inu's staring each other down as mortal enemies—again.

"Milord is everything alright?" Kohaku asked concerned.

Inuyasha looked at the other two and asked, "Yo, Shippo, Kohaku, who'd Alpha?"

"That would be me." Shippo said easy and uncaring.

"Ha you see—wait what?" Inuyasha switched his gaze from Shippo to the human, than back to Sesshomaru who had an equally surprised expression on his face.

Kohaku blushed and all Shippo could do was shrug. "What?"

TBC: I wonder who would be Alpha lol ^_^