A/N: Hello, readers! I was lying in bed one night when this little ficlet popped into my head. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Rose's Rules: By Ronald Bilius Weasley, ex-AUROR

1. Get good marks (I'm still so relieved you inherited your mum's brains; I'd feel sorry if you'd inherited mine).

2. Get in Gryffindor. Or Ravenclaw. Or even Hufflepuff, for that matter. Just not the Snake House.

3. If you have to have male friends, make sure it's one of your many cousins (because that's how I met your mum, if you catch my drift).

4. Get better marks than Malfoy.

5. Do not socialize with Malfoy. Or anyone else from Slytherin, preferably.

6. Do not flirt with Malfoy. Urgh, I just shuddered at that thought.

7. Wear only baggy robes to hide your woman-ness.

8. Don't snog anyone until you're thirty. Or I'm dead; whichever comes first. Until I'm dead is probably the better option.

9. Don't ever snog Malfoy. EVER. No exceptions.

10. Don't run your hands through Malfoy's abnormally blond hair. It will permanently disfigure you.

11. Don't date anyone until you're out of school.

12. Any place were there are soft surfaces are NOT acceptable places for a date.

13. Don't date Malfoy. As you kids say, 'nuff said.

14. If anyone touches you or looks at you anywhere below your neck (your mother says I have to exclude you hands) I will remove said offending appendage.

15. If Malfoy touches you anywhere, I will kill him and light his coffin on fire whilst dancing around it and singing songs.

16. Don't have sex with anyone. Ever. In your whole lifetime. I will hunt them down with my wicked Auror skills.

17. Don't have sex with Malfoy. Ever ever EVER. I would have to be sentenced to Azkaban for using Unforgivables (probably all three of them).

18. Don't marry Malfoy. I mean, Rose Malfoy (Merlin's saggy underpants, that permanently scarred me) doesn't sound as good as Rose Weasley. Wow, I can't believe I just wrote those words.

19. Do not reproduce pale, blonde monster babies with Malfoy. They'll have to put me in the looney ward in St. Mungo's.

20. DO NOT break ANY of the above rules.

Rose smiled as she read through her dad's old rule list, the engagement ring on her finger casting spots of red and green light onto the wall in front of her; just as her Uncle George had said, some rules were just meant to be broken.

Fin! R&R!