Author's Notes: We all know I do not own Big Time Rush or anything affiliated with them or the show or their characters. They are owned by Sony/Nick/Scott Fellows. I write because it has to come out somehow or I'll go insane and obviously make no money off this.

Every time I tell myself I'm not going to write another fic, inspiration strikes. Here we have another James/Logan, because they still capture my heart. It's been more than a year since I wrote my first Jagan fic, and to this day I'm enchanted with them in all forms. They make me smile when nothing else does and maybe that's sad but it's true, so this is what I do. Thanks to those who have told me I write them well; it means a lot to know others appreciate my crazy obsession as well.

I try to be accurate in my stories, so in this I chose to give James a medical condition I have dealt with for years rather than try to write something I know nothing about. Something as simple as acid reflux really can feel like heartattack symptoms and it's scary until you know what's wrong with you. In this story James did not grow up in Minnesota with Logan and Kendall, and sadly there is no Carlos. Well, there may be, but I did not include him. We know I feel I don't have a good grasp on him, so I'm sorry Carlos—I love you, but I don't write you well.

Dedicating this to kathrynew30, because she kept pushing me to write more Jagan and this is what came out. I think if not for her I wouldn't write nearly as much as I do, and in that she is a constant source of encouragement. Thank you, Kathryn, for giving me the kick in the butt I need to keep doing this. Also PromiseMeTheStars listens to my rambling ideas and gives awesome input, and of course Aranelle says nice things to me about my writing and makes me want to write more so she'll continue to say nice things. It's a vicious cycle.

Logan smiled as his best friend's name popped up on his phone. He answered with grin. "What's up, buddy?"

"I thought I might be able to get hold of you tonight. Getting ready to watch your big show?"

"Guilty as charged," Logan laughed, settling onto his couch and changing the channel to the correct one before setting up the DVR to record.

"Did you actually request the night off for this, Logan?" Kendall asked.

"I...maybe?"

"You did!"

"From the hospital, yes. I told them I wouldn't be on call tonight. Come on, it's not like I have a life. I work and I come home and sleep. Let me have this one fun thing, Kendall."

"I do, I just think it's ridiculous. And a little funny. World-renowned doctor Logan Mitchell having a mad obsession with James Diamond."

"I can't help it. He's amazing."

"He's conceited and arrogant."

"But so hot."

Kendall laughed. "Dude, why haven't you tried to meet him? He's gay, right? Just get out there and see if you can hook up with him. Even for a night."

"Like he'd even look twice at me? I've been to loads of concerts, you know that."

"Yes, I do. All of your money goes to this guy. Didn't you even fly to New York to see him once?"

"That was a special occasion. It was the five-year anniversary of his first album coming out, and they put on a big show for him. He got an award before the concert, it was awesome!"

"Did you cry, Logan?"

"Shut up, Kendall."

"You cried, didn't you?"

"I was proud! He worked hard to get that far. He's got a lot of talent, you know. He's not just a pretty face."

"I never said he was. But really, dude. Why not try to meet him? You've got plenty of money, you could do those V.I.P. meet and greet things, right?"

"Like I said, he'd never look twice at a guy like me."

"You're better off. He goes through boyfriends like water."

"It's hard for him, he doesn't have a lot of time for a stable relationship."

"Or he's just fickle and doesn't know how to love."

"Did you call me for a specific reason, or just to bust my balls over James?"

Kendall laughed. "I wanted to know when you're free for lunch. Let me know when James is busy so I can have some time with you."

"Dude..." Logan shook his head, grinning. "Look, I know it's ridiculous. I know I'm too old to have a crush like this on a rock star."

"You're only twenty-seven, Logan. Not ancient."

"Still. There's a reason you're the only person who knows about my obsession. But it makes me happy. James makes me happy."

"Still think you should meet him."

"You're thinking that would cure my obsession, aren't you?"

"I wasn't, but that's a valid point. It might. Is that why you're afraid to meet him? Think maybe the real thing won't measure up to your imagination?"

"That's entirely possible, but...no. I don't try to meet him because I wouldn't know what to say. I wouldn't even know how to speak, probably. All he'd have to do is look at me and smile and my brain would turn to mush."

"What would you do if he ever showed up at your hospital, Logan? He lives in Hollywood. Imagine you're walking down the hall and turn a corner and there he is, in all his sparkling glory. What would you do?"

"Faint. Have a panic attack. Freak out and scream. I don't know, but it wouldn't be pretty. I'd never be able to show my face at work again."

"It could happen, you know."

"I'd die."

"So what is this thing on tonight?"

Logan stood up and went to the fridge to grab a drink and some snacks to hold him over until the show started. "It's his concert in Italy, the one he did last month. Huge production, I've seen videos from it. He was amazing. And there's supposedly a wardrobe malfunction, too, that I haven't seen yet. They'll probably cut it out, though. Bastards."

"A wardrobe malfunction?" Kendall laughed. "What does that even mean?"

"His shirt ripped or something, bared him to the waist. And he was all sweaty and gorgeous and..." Logan made a sound that would've embarrassed him if he'd done it in front of anyone else, but he and Kendall had been best buds since preschool.

"I'm sure that was totally staged. And you've seen him shirtless a hundred times, haven't you?"

"Never get enough of that, Kendall. Never."

Logan could imagine Kendall shaking his head on the other end of the phone. "You need a boyfriend."

"I know," Logan sighed. "Who's got time for that, though? I'm always either in the E.R. or seeing patients at my office."

"Maybe it's time to slow it down a little. You graduated from med school so early and then jumped right into working and now look at you, your own office and known as one of the best, but you've gotta get lonely."

"That's what I have James for. He keeps the loneliness at bay."

"I don't even want to know."

"Kendall, not like that! I'm just saying it's an outlet. It's fun. Keeps me from going insane."

"Plus, he's hot."

"So fucking hot."

"You know, I would pay good money to see your face if he ever showed up unexpectedly in your life somehow."

"Never gonna happen. Which is for the best. Now let's plan lunch, because the show starts in fifteen minutes," Logan said as he plopped down onto the couch again with some chips and a soda.

"Can you get away tomorrow?"

"Possibly? I'll look at my schedule in the morning and let you know, but if it's a slow day we can do it."

"It's never a slow day for Dr. Mitchell. You're in high demand."

"Yes, but I make exceptions for you. How about we plan on one o'clock at Denny's and if something comes up, I'll call you?"

"Deal. I'm gonna hang up now so you can squeal in privacy."

"It's not my fault you wanted to watch that video with me last time."

"I was curious. Never making that mistake again. I was embarrassed for you."

"But Kendall! He's so fucking hot!"

Kendall chuckled. "Talk to you tomorrow. Though if you need to call me after the concert and fangirl, I'll be awake."

"I might do that. Thanks, dude. Best friend in the world."

"Don't forget it. Have fun."

"Oh, I will."

"Bye."

"See ya."

Two hours later Logan was lying in bed with a grin on his face, the concert replaying in his head. James had been as amazing as he always was, and Logan did in fact get to witness the wardrobe malfunction. He had to admit that Kendall was probably right about it being staged, but that was okay—it was still incredibly hot. After it aired Logan had gone online to squeal with his buddies, all of which probably believed him to be a female five years less than his age but he never enlightened them to anything different, and as he'd told Kendall—it was his outlet. He stared up at the giant poster above his head and smiled at it, feeling ridiculous but unable to hate himself too much. It was fun and didn't hurt anybody, and it wasn't like he would ever meet James anyway.

He fell into dreams of that beautiful man singing to him from a stage, and he was at peace.

His good mood carried him through the morning; he saw patients at his office and got caught up on some paperwork, even remembering to call Kendall to confirm their lunch date. Checking the time, he decided he had just enough to see the walk-in patient who'd arrived a little earlier for a consultation.

Logan moved down the hall to one of the examination rooms, frowning when he saw a huge, bulky guy standing outside it. "Can I help you?" he asked.

"No, but I hope you can help the man inside that room."

"Are you...a friend?"

"Employee. Just doing my job."

He was reaching for the thin file folder hanging on the door when it hit him that the guy looked familiar. He took another look, studying him, and his heart dropped into his stomach when he realized where he'd seen the guy before.

With James. He's always with James. His bodyguard.

With shaking hands, Logan looked down at the file folder he was holding. He almost fainted when he read the name written on it.

Diamond, James.

"Whoa, you okay, doc?"

Strong arms stopped Logan from falling to the ground but the chart wasn't so lucky, the intake paperwork spilling out of the folder as Logan dropped it. He forced his knees to function and stood up straight after leaning on the big guy for a moment, stepping back and trying to breathe. "Thanks, I'm okay." His voice sounded strangled to his own ears. "Missed breakfast."

"As a doctor, you should know better," the large man teased. He bent down to gather all of the paperwork and slip it into the folder, then hesitated in the act of returning it to Logan. "You sure you're okay? You look pale."

Logan nodded. "I have some uh...granola in my office. I'm just gonna go down a few handfuls and I'll be much better. Tell Mr...Diamond, was it?"

"Yeah. He's my boss."

"Let him know I'll be right in, okay?" Logan snatched the folder out of the bodyguard's hands and rushed to his office, shutting the door and sliding down to the floor. His heart was racing and he felt clammy. Maybe this was a joke? It had to be. Kendall was probably setting him up for a prank, it was just Kendall's style after their talk last night. Or perhaps he was dreaming. That was more likely.

Logan opened the folder and glanced over the paperwork, which consisted of a few legal documents each new patient had to sign, and the first-time patient's questionnaire. He skimmed the symptoms that had brought James here in the first place, frowning, and then his eyes took in the signature at the bottom of each page. It was absolutely James Diamond's autograph, Logan had seen it a thousand times and even had posters bearing that same design on his bedroom wall at home.

"Holy shit," he whispered. "James Diamond is in exam room two. Right here in this building. I'm going to talk to him. Touch him." Consciousness threatened to fade and Logan shook his head, forcing himself to calm down. "You're a doctor, Logan. You do this every day. You are professional and you can do this and something is obviously wrong with him or he wouldn't be here. You're the best. He deserves the best treatment possible from you. Go in there as a doctor, not as an obsessed psychotic fan."

He stood up and took a deep breath, but as he was reaching for the doorknob he changed his mind and pulled his phone out, calling Kendall.

"You'd better not be canceling, I'm about to leave."

"Kendall!" Logan hissed. "Kendall! He's here! In my office! Did you set this up? James is here in my office waiting for me to examine him!"

Silence.

"Kendall, are you there? Is this a joke?"

"You're serious?"

"Yes! James Diamond is here to see me. He has..." Logan fumbled with the folder and glanced down at the symptoms. "Tight chest, burning in his chest, nausea—wait, what am I doing? I can't tell you this! I'm breaking HIPAA regulations!"

"Dude, relax. I'm not gonna report you. Just calm down."

"What do I do?"

"What do you do?" Kendall was highly amused. "Examine him. Maybe check his-"

"Don't you dare even say it, Kendall Knight!"

Kendall laughed. "Calm down, Logan. Really. This is your chance. Fate brought him to you, who knows why? Don't waste this opportunity. We're still having lunch, right?"

"Yes, Kendall, but I might be a little late. I might have to run off screaming after he leaves."

"You will not. How about I pick you up instead of meeting you there? I don't trust you driving right now."

"Fine. Just hang out in my office until I'm done. I can do this."

"You most certainly can. Be strong, Dr. Mitchell. Use your God-given talents to heal this man."

"Oh, shut up." Logan took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay. I'm good now. I can be professional."

"Just try not to pinch his ass or anything, that might get you sued."

"Kendall, I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you when you get here."

"Death threats? Should I be scared?"

"Hanging up now."

"You can do this, dude. It's what you do best."

"I know. I'll see you soon."

"No pinching!" Kendall got in just before Logan hung up.

Logan shook his head and studied the paperwork again, going over James' symptoms. Tight chest, nausea, a burning feeling in his chest, and sometimes chest pain. All of it recurring. It could be a lot of different things, and the only way to know for sure was to talk to James and run some tests. Which would mean seeing James again. Logan bit his lip, trying not to get excited about that. Maybe James wouldn't measure up; maybe meeting him would cure the ridiculous obsession after all.

Don't think of him as James Diamond. Think of him as a patient who is scared and needs your help.

With a firm nod, Logan stepped out of his office and walked down the hall.

"Better?" the big guy asked.

"I'll live," Logan smiled. "Thanks, by the way. For catching me."

"You fix up Mr. Diamond, and that's all the thanks I need."

Logan nodded. "It's what I do."

He opened the door and stepped in, not looking up right away but feeling the magnetic presence immediately. "Mr. Diamond?"

"Hi."

"Hi, I'm Dr. Mitchell." Logan held out a hand as he did with all his new patients, bracing himself and looking into those gorgeous hazel eyes. James was even more breathtaking in person and Logan tried not to melt under his gaze, gripping the hand firmly before letting go and turning away to set the folder on the counter, back to James to give himself time to recover.

Holy shit, he's beautiful, his skin, his eyes, his hair, his lips, how is he real? Focus, Dr. Mitchell. The best. Be the best for him.

"So it looks like you're suffering some chest problems?"

"Um, yeah. It scares me, I'm having chest pain and I'm way too young to die."

Logan couldn't help but chuckle, the act relaxing him as he turned around and studied James. "Chest pain isn't always life-threatening, Mr. Diamond. Usually it's something benign." At James' look of confusion, Logan clarified, "Non-life-threatening."

"Well, it better be, because I have a tour to continue."

"A tour?"

"Yeah, I'm a singer. I travel the world entertaining the masses. I can't get sick, there are too many people depending on me for their jobs."

"Mr. Diamond, I think it's-"

"James."

"What?"

"Please call me James. I hate being called Mr. Diamond, and it's what I hear all the time. Just...James."

"James." Logan swallowed, feeling his heart start to melt and then mentally shaking himself. "I think it's noble of you to consider everyone else, but you have to put yourself first." And here's something he never imagined having to say to James Diamond. Conceited and arrogant indeed, Kendall.

"I know. So what's wrong with me? Let's fix it."

Logan laughed softly. "We haven't even talked about it yet, slow down. You wrote here that you're suffering chest pain, nausea, a burning sensation, and tightness? Having trouble breathing?"

"Sometimes."

"And your chest hurts when this happens?"

"Not always."

"James, you're gonna have to help me out here."

"You're the doctor."

"I can't do my job without your input. Tell me what happens. How often? How long does it last? How bad is it?"

"Well, it doesn't happen every day. And I don't always feel sick to my stomach. Only sometimes. And sometimes I feel like I can't breathe."

"How long does that last?"

"Like ten minutes?"

"So it passes pretty quickly?"

"I guess."

"Where does your chest hurt when it does?"

"Right here." James pressed a hand over his heart.

"Are you on any medication? You didn't list any, but..."

"No."

"Do you smoke?"

"Hell, no. That would kill my body."

"Drink?"

"Who doesn't?"

Logan barely refrained from rolling his eyes. "A lot?"

"I don't know. What's a lot?"

"If you have to ask, the answer's probably yes. Any other symptoms? Do you experience dizziness, sweating, any pain in your left arm, any problems thinking clearly?"

"Are you making fun of me?"

"What? Of course not. How would I be-"

"I'm not the smartest guy in the world. I have problems thinking clearly on a daily basis."

Logan smiled slightly. "I didn't mean it like that, James. I promise. Perhaps I should have said more problems than usual?"

James laughed at himself. "No, nothing like that. What was the other stuff? No dizziness or pain in my arm, though I do sweat a lot. But that's because I'm active."

You sure are. Logan dragged his eyes away from those muscles. "That makes sense, then. See, we've already ruled out a lot of ailments just by talking. You seem nervous."

"I hate doctors."

"I'll try not to take that personally."

"You shouldn't, it's all doctors. As a rule."

Logan shook his head, unable to stop smiling anymore. "We're not all bad. Some of us even give you a lollipop when we're finished." Oh my god, what did I just say? You don't say things like that to a gay man, Logan!

James lifted an eyebrow and Logan blushed, then cleared his throat. He felt his face redden. "I meant...I didn't mean..."

James grinned, his voice taking on a flirty tone. "Do I get a lollipop, Dr. Mitchell?"

"Shut up," Logan answered, but he was grinning even though he couldn't meet James' eyes. "I'm trying to be serious here."

James laughed. "I think that's the first time I've ever smiled in a doctor's office."

"So glad I could embarrass myself for your amusement."

"It was rather amusing."

"Okay, let's talk about you for a minute."

"My favorite thing to do."

Logan cracked up. "When did I lose control of this appointment?"

"The second you mentioned lollipops. Which I do enjoy, Dr. Mitchell."

Logan blinked, his mouth hanging open. Was James Diamond flirting with him? Him? "Um. Wow. Okay. So we were talking about...what were we talking about?"

"Sweating."

"Jesus Christ. I'll be right back." Logan headed for the door, having lost all control.

"Wait, don't go!" James hopped off the exam table. "I'm sorry. I just...when I get nervous I can't control my mouth. I really want to know what's wrong. Please, don't pass me off on someone else. I heard you're the best and I need the best. No more sex jokes, I promise."

Logan leaned his head on the office door, regaining his composure. James couldn't possibly know what this was doing to him, having his idol not only in the same room but flirting with him, no matter how meaningless.

"Please, Dr. Mitchell. I'm sorry."

"I wasn't going to pass you off, James." He turned around, his face returning to a normal shade. "I just needed a minute. It's not every day a gorgeous man sits in my office and flirts with me."

James smiled almost shyly. "You think I'm gorgeous?"

"Doesn't everyone?"

"Yeah, but...well. Okay. Let's talk about my health, since that's why I'm here."

"Good idea."

They managed to eliminate a few more ailments by talking and then Logan did a quick physical examination, doing his best not to let his mind wander when he had to touch James, whose skin felt like warm perfection under his hands. "I'm going to order a few tests, some of them basic ones because you haven't seen a doctor in so long, others related specifically to your symptoms. You will need to come back here, though."

"Okay," James nodded.

"Is that going to be a problem, with your touring schedule?"

"I'll make time. You said my health needs to come first, right?"

"Absolutely. There's only a slim chance that this is something serious, James. Most likely it's gastroesophageal reflux disease or simple heartburn, which is easily treatable. Try taking an antacid when the symptoms present themselves."

"A what?"

"Tums. Rolaids. That sort of thing."

"Oh. Okay. You really think that'll fix it?"

"Probably not fix it, but it'll ease your discomfort enough to get by. James. Look at me."

Scared eyes met his.

"You're gonna be fine."

"Promise?"

Logan knew better than to make that promise. As a doctor, he was sworn not to lie. Seeing the fear in James' eyes, though, he couldn't keep from saying, "Promise. We'll figure this out."

"Cause they said the same thing to my grandma, and she was dead two weeks later."

Logan blinked in shock. "I...I'm sorry. What happened to her?"

"Cancer. When I was a kid."

"Is that why you don't like doctors? You think we lie?"

"I just think sometimes things don't work out the way you expect them to. And I don't want to die."

Logan reached out to squeeze James' arm. "I can almost guarantee you won't die from this."

"Almost?"

"Would you rather I lied?"

James shook his head. "No."

"This is probably something simple, James. I promise."

"The doctor didn't lie to my grandma. He thought he was right."

"We can't ever really know what the future holds."

"I hate that."

"You and me both. So let me write up your lab orders and get you some antacids and I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay. Can you send Jimmy in?"

"The big guy?"

"Yeah. He's my bodyguard."

"So he said. You're pretty famous, huh?"

"Totally."

Logan grinned and stepped out. "He wants to see you, but don't leave yet, okay? I need to give him some paperwork."

"You got it." Jimmy disappeared into the room and Logan to the nurses' desk, where he grabbed the necessary paperwork and filled out the test orders. He glanced up when a tall blond walked in from the waiting room. "Kendall! Over here."

"Hey. So how'd it go?"

Logan ushered Kendall into his office and closed the door. "He's still here. I'm so in love."

"Oh no," Kendall groaned.

"Dude, he was flirting with me! But he says he does that when he gets scared."

"Why was he scared?"

"He hates doctors."

"Sucks for you."

"Oh! That reminds me." Logan reached into one of his desk drawers and pulled out a green lollipop, then changed his mind and went with red.

"What's that for?"

"I'm giving him a lollipop. You kind of had to be there."

"I'm glad I wasn't. So he flirted with you?"

"Yeah. I've never blushed that hard in my life."

"Damn, I wish I could've seen that. Is he okay, though?"

"I think so. He's terrified of dying."

"Is it that serious?"

"No, I think it's probably a severe form of heartburn. Easily treatable."

"If it was something more serious, he'd have to come see you again. Over and over and over."

"He has to come back for his test results anyway. I hope he does."

"Give him that lollipop. Maybe put on a show of sucking it for him. He'll be back."

"Kendall, you are horrible."

"I'm not the one giving him something to suck on."

"I'll be back in a few minutes. Don't touch anything."

"Oh, look, I'm touching your desk. I'm sitting in your chair."

"Just wait here." With a chuckle Logan returned to the room, Jimmy nodding at James before excusing himself.

"Okay, take these papers to the lab. The address is right here, and the building's at the end of this block. You'll have to fast, though, so you can't take them today."

James nodded.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I...I lied."

"You lied? About what?"

"The drugs."

Logan's face fell. "Oh."

"I don't tell anyone, but Jimmy says since you're my doctor you need to know everything."

"Jimmy's right." He felt dead inside. His idol had fallen from the pedestal.

"It's not what you're thinking."

"No?"

"No. It's not like...bad drugs. I um. I take an anti-depressant. For anxiety."

"Oh. Oh! There's nothing wrong with that!"

"You're a doctor, of course you'd say that."

"So would most people. With the lifestyle you lead, the massive pressure you're under, I would be surprised if you didn't need a little help. How long have you been on it?"

"About three years."

"What is it and do you suffer any side effects from it?"

"Paxil. And no, I feel fine most of the time. I don't have any panic attacks at all anymore."

"That's good. That means it's working. So you're familiar with panic attacks and what they feel like?"

"Yeah. They suck."

"They most certainly do. But that rules out another ailment I had in mind. What you're experiencing now isn't panic attacks, right?"

"I don't think so. I'd probably know, right?"

"Probably. And these attacks feel different?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. That's good, we ruled that out. Anything else I need to know? Remember that anything you say to me is completely confidential and doesn't leave this room." Except when I shoot my mouth off to Kendall. Gotta stop that.

"No. I do drink, but...not a lot. I'm not supposed to with the Paxil. In the beginning I was doing it a lot and my doctor told me to stop because it was making me have bad mood swings, mixed with the medicine."

"I can see that. Why don't you see this doctor anymore?"

"Because I wanted the best."

Logan smiled, suddenly more proud of his medical career than he'd ever been. "I'll try to be the best."

"You already made me laugh, which is nearly impossible in a doctor's office."

"I try. Oh, here." Logan reached into a cabinet and pulled out a few sample packs of Tums. "Chew these when you feel the symptoms. See if it helps. In fact, call me and let me know."

"Call you when?"

"After a few days of taking these. Let me know if it's helping."

"I need to put the number in my phone, Jimmy's got it."

"I'll just tell you now." When James pulled out his phone, Logan rattled off his cell number. "Call anytime."

James nodded. "Okay. We done here?"

"We are. And you survived, so you get a present." Logan pulled the lollipop out of his pocket and held it out to James, whose eyes widened before he laughed so hard he had to bend over and clutch his stomach.

"Oh my god, dude. Oh my god. You are the best doctor ever."

"Now, you have to make sure you suck this. It'll make you feel better."

"Jesus. Okay. Doctor's orders." James pocketed the sucker and grinned. "Or am I supposed to do that in front of you? So you can make sure everything's working properly?"

"I think if you did that, I'd be the one requiring medical assistance."

"Good to know." James slipped past Logan and reached for the doorknob, opening it before turning back to ask, "You get a lunch break?"

"I. Um."

"James, we're already late."

"Damn, I forgot. Thanks, Jimmy." With a last smile at Logan, James walked down the hall and out into the waiting area.