Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I own only the plot and Beth Carter.

"I've had this spot so long, I'm thinking of giving it a name for Christ's sake!" James moaned.

Sirius pushed the hair out of his eyes lazily, "Oh no, don't do a Peter on us!"

Peter promptly went bright red.

"First year: Montgomery. Second year: Montgomery the second, Third Year, Montgomery the third. Fourth year, Montgomery the fourth." Sirius reminded him.

Peter sprang to his feet, "DON'T YOU DARE STEAL MONTGOMERY!"

James laughed, "Nah, I'm not that cruel. I think I'll go for Graham." He studied the spot on the end of his nose in the mirror, "How's life Graham? Wanting to bugger off anytime soon?"

Sirius sprang to his feet, "YOU CAN'T CALL IT GRAHAM!" He yelled.

"Why not?" James sighed, "Don't tell me you have a spot called Graham."

Sirius looked away, "No, It's my teddy."

Remus walked over to Sirius' bed, "Aw! Little Siwius has a lickle teddy bear!" He picked it up.

Sirius snatched it from Remus' grasp, "DON'T TAKE GRAHAM!" He looked fiercely at James, "AND DON'T CALL YOUR SPOT GRAHAM!"

Sirius stormed out of the dorm. James looked amused.

"Well, help me guys! I might have to settle with Bob."

"I had that one in first year." Remus remarked.

"Um, Greg?"

"Fourth year." Remus replied, sounding bored.

"This is getting hard, Frank?"

"I had that in third year when I was pissed off with Frank Longbottom." Remus sighed.

"Why were you pissed off with him?" James asked, curious.

"Long story. Oh, and by the way, I had Ethan in second year so you can't have that either."

James glared at Remus, "Are all the good names taken? Fine, Barney!"

Sirius' head sprang round the door, "That's Beth's cat."

"Shit." James cursed, "Um… help here guys?"

"Spot?" Peter suggested. His suggestion was returned with James rolling his eyes. "That'll be a no then." Peter decided.

The four marauders tramped down to Transfiguration, glad that Beth wasn't in that class, but slightly worried about Lily. Beth and Lily had become closer over the last week, and they were formidable. They had planted the lit hippogriff dung in Beth's bag, and although they hadn't been there when it went off, they knew it had gone off. Lily brushed past them.

"You're dead." She remarked, and headed off with Marlene and Alice.

Sirius sighed, "Honestly, we only set hippogriff shit on fire and put it in her bag."

Remus stared at him pointedly. Sirius shrugged, "Okay, that is pretty bad, I get your point."

They set up in Transfiguration, luckily being allowed to sit where they wanted. James and Sirius had bagged a desk at the back corner the last week, with Remus and Peter taking the one in front. They noted ravens and toads on each desk.

"BAGSY THE TOAD!" James and Sirius cried at the same time. "SHIT!" They both cried again.

They noticed a cat on the desk, and became wary. They faced the front, and watched as the cat turned into Professor McGongall.

"Wands out." She ordered in her clipped Scottish accent. "Today, we shall be practicing the Silencio charm."

She proceeded to explain exactly how to work it, with Sirius and James' eyelids drooping.

"Mr Potter!" She exclaimed, "Do you understand the incantation and wand movement?"

James' head snapped up from the desk, "Yeah." He replied. McGongall looked at him sternly, "I mean, Yes Professor."

As soon as McGongall told them it was okay to start, James turned to Sirius, "So how do we do it?"

Sirius stared back at him, and then tapped Remus on the shoulder, "Oi, Moony, how do we do it?"

Remus sighed and explained to them exactly how to do it. Sirius couldn't quite help overhearing a conversation between Lily, Marlene and Alice.

"It needs a name." Alice remarked.

"How about Graham?" Lily replied.

"NO WAY IN HELL!" Sirius yelled to the desk beside him, "YOU CAN'T STEAL THE NAME GRAHAM!"

The class held back sniggers and turned to watch the conversation.

"Um… what?" Lily asked, "I had no idea the name Graham was taken. I was just thinking it was a better name for a toad than a raven, and James clearly has the raven."

Sirius whipped around, "OI JAMES, GIVE ME BACK THE RAVEN!" He turned to Lily, "I have no idea what he's up to. I won rock, paper, scissors for Merlin's sake!"

"Anyway, why can't I have Graham as a name for my toad?"

Sirius turned bright red, and muttered something unintelligible.

"What?" Alice asked.

"Itsthenameofmyteddybear." Sirius said extremely quickly.

"What about Frank?" Marlene asked.

"NO!" Alice yelled, "Don't name a toad after Frank!"

"Um… Ethan?" Lily asked.

"Nope." Remus tuned into the conversation, "My spot in second year."

"Greg?" Marlene suggested.

McGongall came to break up their conversation then. It was just as well, it could have gone on for a very long time.

Sirius and James were worried to say the least to spot Lily, Beth, Professor McGongall and Professor Flitwick headed towards them in the corridor. They looked at each other nervously- they knew what this was about.

"Potter, Black." Flitwick squeaked, "Come with me."

Beth and Lily sniggered all the way up to Professor McGongalls office whilst Sirius and James looked anxious. Once they were in there, McGongall closed the door and fixed the two marauders with a stare.

"You are aware of what you have done?" McGongall asked, Flitwick standing beside her.

"W-we're sorry!" Sirius stuttered.

"Two weeks in and this is your fourth detention!" Flitwick squeaked.

"Oh no!" James exclaimed, "We've been slacking, Sirius."

Sirius sighed, "Didn't we get seven two weeks in last year?"

"We can always up the detentions." McGongall said.

"Nah, its okay Professor. We have to earn them."

With that, Sirius and James walked out of the office, only to have their smooth exit taken away by James tripping over a cat. Namely, Professor McGongall.

James groaned as he began cleaning bed pans in the hospital wing with Sirius by his side. They had been there for two hours so far, and they knew they had at least another two hours of horrible, boring, back-breaking work.

"I can't believe you tripped over Minnie!" Sirius exclaimed, for the fourty-fifth time.

"You've said that fourty-five times!" James exclaimed.

Sirius sighed, "I'm so bored."

They looked over to the sole occupant of the hospital wing. They walked over to him, hoping for an interesting conversation.

"You bored too?" The boy asked.

"Yeah." Sirius moaned, "At least you're in a comfortable bed!"

"We're cleaning bed pans." James remarked.

"Sucks to be you." The boy said. "I've had that detention before. What'd you do?"

Sirius explained the whole situation, with James chipping in to fill in extra details. He explained how they'd planted flaming hippogriff dung in Beth's bag, and how apparently McGongall hadn't wanted them to the leave the classroom, and how James had tripped over her. The boy laughed with them as they continued to scrub bedpans.

"What's your names then?" The boy asked.

"Sirius Black." James replied, holding out his hand.

Sirius held back a snigger, "James Potter."

"I'm Graham." Graham shook James hand, "Nice to meet you Sirius. You too James."

Sirius swelled up, and James and Graham noticed his face turning red.

"Is he okay?" Graham asked.

"YOU CAN'T STEAL MY NAME!" Sirius yelled.

Graham looked confused, "James, are you alright?"

James looked at him weirdly, "I'm fine, it's Sirius you need to worry about!"

"WHY IS EVERYONE STEALING MY NAME?"

Graham started to turn grey, and James looked on in shock. He looked around for Madam Pomfrey but couldn't spot her,

"MADAM POMFREY?" He yelled, "GRAHAM LOOKS GREY!"

James managed to calm Sirius down, and stop him from yelling.

"You do know he's actually called Graham, don't you?" James asked.

Sirius managed to get out two words, "He's grey."

James sniggered, "Grey Graham. Okay, I shouldn't laugh. MADAM POMFREY?"

Madam Pomfrey came running in and went to Grahams side. She administered a few potions and whispered a few incantations over him.

"What have you been doing in here?" Madam Pomfrey turned to the boys.

"Just talking to him. I think he got a little worried or confused." Sirius remarked.

"OUT! OUT!" Madam Pomfrey shouted, "I don't know why they let detentions take place in my hospital wing, mark my words, I'll be having a talk with Dumbledore!"

Sirius and James fled from the hospital wing, leaving behind Madam Pomfrey and Grey Graham. They ran up to the Gryffindor tower, but on their way were hindered by something flaming, something in a sack, something smelling disgusting. The flaming hippogriff poo hit them and they screamed like girls. Beth and Lily stepped out from behind a pillar.

"Oh sweet revenge." Beth muttered.

"They've got it in for us." James muttered as he inspected his damaged hair. "Its all your fault Sirius."

Sirius glared at him, "Maybe Beth is my fault, Lily? I think that's entirely your fault."

"Joint responsibility?" James asked.

"Agreed." Sirius responded, and they shook on it.

Remus came up into the dormitory, "What's that smell?" He asked.

"Lets just say Beth and Lily strike back." James muttered.

Remus smiled, "Well done." He said sarcastically.

"They're pure evil!" Sirius moaned, "They're like the gruesome twosome!"

"Then what are we?" James asked, curious.

Sirius looked at James as if it was obvious, "The awesome foursome."

Peter plodded up the stairs and sank down onto his bed looking glum.

"What's the matter Peter?" Sirius asked.

"Montgomery the fifth." Peter replied, pointing to a spot on the end of his nose.

James sighed romantically, "Ah, Peter and Montgomery can never be parted for long."

"Lily?" James appeared beside Lily at the Gryffindor table for dinner that night.

She glared at him, "What?"

James held up his hands in mock surrender, "Don't kill me!"

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily grimaced.

"Well, we've got a Hogsmeade weekend soon so-"

"No." Lily replied.

Sirius patted James on the back, "Ah well, worth a try."

Sirius noticed Beth receive a package at the Ravenclaw table. He peered over to see what was inside it. He noticed a chocolate frog wrapper, and formulated a quick plan for revenge.

"ACCIO BETH'S CHOCOLATE FROGS!" He yelled, and they came flying across to him.

Sirius hadn't really thought about the consequences of his actions. Not how Beth would feel, that wasn't important, but how she would react. Because she did react.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" She yelled.

Sirius shook, and chucked the chocolate frogs back over to the Ravenclaw table. Beth missed, but a chubby boy sitting next to her caught them and passed them to Beth.

"Thanks Greg." She muttered, "SIRIUS ORION BLACK! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU JUST DID!"

"I was hungry…." Sirius muttered. By this time, the whole student body, plus all the teachers in the Great Hall were staring at him. Nobody had tried to break up their argument.

"THEY WERE FROM MY UNCLE GRAHAM!" Beth yelled.

Nobody can really explain what happened then. Some would say that the first thing that happened was the outburst of laughter from three of the marauders, some would say the first thing that happened was Sirius yelling at her to not steal his name. Most people would say that the thing that shocked them the most was when Beth's chocolate frogs burst into flame and hopped around the hall. When it calmed down, most of the students were laughing, although a lot of them looked very shocked. When it was all over, Sirius spoke only three words.

"GRAHAM IS MINE!"

Authors Note: Hope you liked it, I know its a bit of a filler. This isn't really a selection of drabbles but it isn't quite a story. Maybe its a strabble. Ooh! I just made up a word! :) Excitedness. What do you all think of Beth? Do you like her? Sorry, no eyebrow action in this, but plenty to come. I am planning to do a halloween chapter at some point, but I want to do the full moon in september first, so the Halloween one may be a little late. What are you doing to celebrate the anniversary of Lily and James Potter's death? :'( And the doc manager fixed itself! Yay!