It was a beautiful day. The white clouds rolled like smoke across the blue sky. There seemed to be a chill in the air. Fall was coming and the leaves on the trees were a fascinating assortment of bright red, yellow and gold.

"Elena!" I turned to find Bonnie, smiling brightly as she walked to me.

"Bonnie. Hey I'm so glad you came!" I said leaning in to hug her.

"Of course I wouldn't miss it!" She chimed happily. "Have you seen Jeremy?" She asked.

"Yeah, he's out back with everyone else. We should probably head back there anyway. I don't want things to get out of control." I laughed.

Bonnie and I turned and walked up hill towards the Boarding House. We walked through the house and out of the back french doors that led out into the backyard.

That's when I spotted him. The sunlight hit his raven hair as he faced out into the yard watching Jeremy and Tyler set up a table for the cake. When he heard me coming he turned, dazzling me as usual with his beautiful smile.

"Mommy!" He called, putting his hands up for me to hold him.

"Hey my love." I said scooping him up and holding him close. He wrapped his arms around my neck and looked closely into my eyes.

"Why can't I have cake now, mom?" He asked, his sweet voice ringing like bells.

"I told you baby, we need to wait until everyone's here." I answered.

"Can I open presents?" He pleaded, batting the long lashes that framed his eyes. The eyes that shined like deep blue pools of water, like jewels...just like...

"Daddy!" He called suddenly over my shoulder, wiggling to get down. I put him down and he ran around me jumping into Damon's arms.

"Hey my man." Damon said picking him up. He tossed him up and caught him, causing Shiloh to burst into a fit of giggles. He sat him back down and as we watched him run off to bug his Uncle Jeremy...I felt Damon's arms wrap around me.

"You, by far...are the most amazing girl I've ever seen." He purred in my ear. "Don't tell my wife I said that." He whispered.

I turned and play hit him on the chest as he laughed.

"Oh, I'm telling." I played.

"Well if you must...but maybe we could negotiate in a bedroom upstairs." He grinned, batting his eyes in a way that had always gotten me weak in the knees.

"Well, were kind of setting up for our child's birthday so if you can hold off until tonight." I teased, running my fingers through his hair.

"I'll try, no promises." He grinned.

I watched him walk off to join the guys, knowing full well him and Tyler could set up everything in a matter of minutes but since we had mixed company, those who knew our secret and those who didn't we couldn't really show off our true speed or strength.

"Wow, this is going to be some party." Stefan said walking up to me.

"I'm so glad you decided to come." I said nudging him with my shoulder.

"You know it's not right Elena...for this to be happening...for any of this."He said gesturing out into the beautiful day, filled with the ones I love.

"Stefan, don't start. I just want to have a good day. I just want to enjoy this without any of your commentary." I warned him.

"No seriously Elena. You have to understand...you can't do this to yourself." He said.

I looked at him confused but he stared grimly out in front of him. I followed his gaze out into the yard. Suddenly the sky darkened with clouds and the only thing left in the yard was a lonely party table and two red balloons blowing furiously in the stormy winds. Damon stood in front of the table looking at me, with eyes like blank blue marbles.

"Damon?" I called out to him. I stepped out towards him, feeling the warm stormy winds pick up around me. It tossed my pale pink ankle length skirt around me like an angry ocean.

Damon reached out for me. He took a step forward but before he could say anything blood began to pour from the corners of his mouth. His shirt began to saturate with blood and he fell to his knees.

I sat straight up in my bed with a gasp. Sweat coated my body and my hair clung to my face.

"Elena, you've got to try to stop letting yourself dream about those kinds of things." Stefan said, sitting at the end of my bed.

"What Stefan? About me actually being happy.?About my life going the way I want it to?" I snapped. "And how many times have I told you to stop watching me sleep?" I said jumping up from the bed.

"I've been trying to get inside your head and curve your dreams a little. When you start thinking about Damon, I've been trying to turn it into something else." He said.

I stopped in my tracks on the way to the bathroom and turned towards Stefan.

"You've been doing what!" I yelled.

"Elena, I'm trying to help." He answered.

"Stefan! You've been taking these peaceful happy dreams that seem to keep falling into my lap and ruining them!" I shouted. "I've been so happy in my dreams...what your trying to do is remind me that Damon is DEAD! So my happy dreams become a nightmare over and over again!" I screamed at Stefan, feeling tears wail up in my eyes.

"Elena, it's bad enough when it's Damon you're dreaming of, but your imagining some child that hasn't even been born yet, and you love him so much It worries me." Stefan explained.

"No...no Stefan...what worries you is that when you went evil and left us all behind you never expected me to fall in love with Damon. You NEVER thought it would happen...but it did."

"You're right...I was a little surprised." Stefan agreed.

I opened my mouth to argue but a wave of morning sickness hit me hard. I ran to the bathroom and slid to my knees. I got sick, bad. I heard Stefan walk into the bathroom and I instantly flashed back to Damon holding my hair back and one of our last talks here on the bathroom floor.

"Get out!" I screamed in absolute fury. Stefan stepped out quickly and walked downstairs.

It had been two days since I watched Damon get killed right in front of me. It was still fresh in my mind what happened the last few minutes I was in the boarding house. I watched Damon fall to his knees, blood pouring from his body. His words choked off with blood rising from his throat. I tried with every fiber of my being to get to him. Caroline held me back and I watched Damon fall to the floor. I saw through the commotion as Alaric made his way over to Damon and leaned down. I watched him hold to two fingers to his neck. Then he looked up at Jeremy and shook his head.

"Get her out of here." He said.

When I heard those words, I screamed so hard I hoped it killed me. Then I thought about what was going on inside me...something about being pregnant suddenly makes you unselfish no matter what. Its probably a good thing because other wise...I feel like I would have just slipped away in my sleep. The last year and half had been hell. Dark, horrible...hell.

They explained to me the next day that they had Damon's body laid out at the boardinghouse. They didn't want to bury him on the off chance that his vampire side would eventually heal him. I had given up hope. I gave up hope the following night after he was killed. They took me back to see him. Out of respect I guess. At first I didn't want to but when I thought about seeing his face...I was willing to deal with the worst.

We walked into the house that night and they led me up to one of the spare rooms down the hall from his. There he was. Laying on the bed, he was still. Like no other still than death. He was pale and there were dark purple shadows under his eyes. Everyone cleared out, except for Stefan, who had glued himself to my side since Damon was gone. I got on my knees by the bed and put my hand in Damon's.

Then I cried. A real...soul baring cry. The kind of cry that sounds like a maniacal laugh. I cried until I was sick. Then I came back and cried again. It wasn't until the nausea from the pregnancy took over and I had to give up. I promised Damon silently that I would have our child. That I would raise him or her to know their Dad as well as I could tell them. That they would love him as much as I did.

They eventually pulled me away from the house...away from Damon. Ever since that night I had been having vivid dreams about our future. They seemed so real. Every time though...because of Stefan "trying to help" It had been ruined by him. All was happy, I felt connected to Damon, to my child and we were connected to the universe. We were so Happy. Then Stefan came and reminded me of reality and the picture would change from beautiful to ugly in seconds.

I picked myself off of the bathroom floor and headed back to bed. Bonnie came in with a tray that had a bowl of soup and a sandwich on it. She set it down on my bed stand and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Did you have another dream?" She asked.

I nodded, keeping my face buried in my pillow.

"You saw Damon?" She asked.

I nodded

"Did you have the baby already?" She asked.

I looked up at her when she said that.

"Yes, he had dark hair and blue eyes. His name was Shiloh. It was his birthday...you were there...everyone was. We were setting up for it. It was so real Bonnie." I said beginning to cry. I put my head into the pillow again. I hated to cry. I had done enough crying to make my eyes bleed over the last few days.

"Elena...you need to eat something." Bonnie said. Her voice was low...and mothering.

"I can't hold anything down." I told her.

"Well, it's between the baby and ...being upset that's making you sick. You need to eat anyway, Elena. I know you don't really want to." She said, running her hands softly over the back of my hair.

I looked up at her and then sat all the way up.

"No...Bonnie...I don't want to eat. I love him Bonnie...I love Damon so much and I just want to talk to him. I just want to see him walk through the door...but right now I'm dealing with the horror that he's dead! He's dead!. I screamed.

"This is what I've been waiting for Elena. Go ahead...freak out. Scream!" She said.

"I don't want to mourn, Bonnie. I'm tired of mourning. Mom is dead, dad is dead! Both my real parents are dead...and Aunt Jenna..." I said breaking into a real sob.

"I'm so sorry, Elena." Bonnie whispered with tears in her eyes.

"How am I going to look at this baby! How am I going to look at him...or her...they will have his face! His hair, his eyes...his smile. They're going to be looking at me with his eyes Bonnie! I can't!" I screamed. "I just can't do this." I said breaking into a full blown cry. She jumped onto the bed and hugged me close to her.

"It's going to be okay Elena. I'm going to be right here." Bonnie assured me, rocking me back and forth as I cried.

Another day passed. Life was already moving on. They all went to school except for Bonnie, but I threatened her until she went. They had gone to the Boarding House without me early that morning to check on Damon. He was still gone. That's when we knew...he wasn't coming back. They decided that they were going to bury him later that night.

I used the time right after Bonnie left to go to school to break down. I cried, I fell to the floor, I picked myself up. I laughed at something funny Damon had said a long while back...then I cried...then I screamed at Damon in fury. How could he leave me? I busted a part of my mirror in the bathroom with an old bottle of perfume. I thought once of dying my hair bleach blond...once. Then I cried again. Stefan showed up halfway through the day. I hugged him. I hugged him tightly when he showed up. Either because he was familiar as a line of comfort or maybe it was because he had tears in his eyes as well. No matter what Stefan's feelings were for me...he was just as heartbroken about losing his brother.

"Elena, why don't you get some sleep." Stefan suggested. "I promise I won't tamper with your dreams anymore. If you want to live in a temporary bubble of fake happiness by all means." He said.

I was still growing accustomed to the altered Stefan. He wasn't killing left and right but the lasting affects of his addiction made him get very honest, sometimes brutally honest.

"Actually...I think I'd just like to go back to the boardinghouse. Say my goodbye's before everyone gets ready." I said.

Stefan looked at me. I could see pity and also pain in his eyes.

"I'll drive." He answered.

We got to the house. Stefan had to stop with me for five minutes before we went in because I got sick. Not sure if it was pregnancy or nerves...maybe both. We finally made it inside and I decided I couldn't make it up there at the moment. I was still feeling nauseous and I had to sit down for a second.

Stefan went ahead and made his way upstairs.

"You're beautiful..."

I looked up. Damon was standing in front of me. His eyes were wide with wonder. My heart pounded, tears instantly welled up.

"Damon! Oh my god! Damon!" I squealed leaping off the couch. I threw my arms around him, hugging him as close as I could. He didn't respond. I realized it was like holding a mannequin. I stepped back and looked at him. He smiled.

"So beautiful." He repeated quietly.

"Elena! Careful!" Stefan suddenly yelled, obviously seeing what was happening.

"Damon?" I said...backing away. His eyes grew dark. Hungry and dark. He began to walk after me.

"Damon, no...it's me Elena." I said, beginning to panic through my pure unadulterated happiness.

"Elena." He purred and then smiled. Then his eyes grew darker and he lunged toward me until I was pinned into the couch, I felt a sharp pain...in my neck. Damon was back.

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