Our Heart's Desires

"James."

"Mmm."

"James," Lily said again, gently whacking her husband's shoulder.

"Yes, Lily?" James asked, rubbing the spot where she'd hit him.

"James, do you see that?" Lily said, squinting into the distance.

Far ahead, the day was turning into night. The scenery was grey and there stood a rectangular glass, leaning against a black wall.

The couple approached it slowly, Lily with her hands wrapped around James's arm.

The rectangle stood out against the black wall. As they got closer, they could see through it. There were stone walls, forming a room, and across the room a few dozen tables were piled against the walls. They reached the glass, and they could see their reflection in front of the room beyond.

As they watched, a young boy in a red knit sweater laid down a cloak he had just been wearing. He looked around the room and found the glass, just as Lily and James had.

Lily and James looked at each other. What was this and why were they here?

"Look at his hair, James," Lily said in wonder, gazing through at the boy. His hair was black and stuck up in the back.

"I know," he replied, unable to take his eyes off the boy. "Lily. His eyes."

They held each other as they watched the boy walk up to (what Lily thought to be) the mirror, and as he did, his green eyes grew immediately wider as he whirled round, his back now to the glass.

"Can he see us?" James asked.

The boy turned back around. Lily looked at him, but it was different. Now the reflection looked like the boy was with them, standing in front of the couple. But he wasn't. He was only in the mirror, just like the stone walls and the desks.

"James," Lily gasped, realization sweeping over her.

"I know," James said, still looking at the boy.

The boy looked more closely at the mirror, taking it in.

Lily and James did the same. Lily waved to the boy, a sad smile on her face, desperate for him to know.

The boy reached behind him, still confused as to what was happening. He found no one in his search. He kept looking at Lily, staring at her eyes in wonder as he leaned in.

He looks so like James, Lily thought. He's so beautiful.

As she watched the boy, tears began to fall. She would give anything to be there with him now, to hold him, to let him know how much she loved him. But she was so happy. She was happy he was safe, that her sacrifice had protected him, and that all she and James had fought for had kept him alive.

James looked over and saw Lily's tears. He put his arm around her, holding her close, wishing he could hold his son, too.

The boy turned to James, examining his features. James saw his hair and glasses, but behind those shone Lily's perfect green eyes, copied perfectly in their son. The boy leaned in, yearning to feel that which he could see for the first time in his life.

"Mum?" he whispered. "Dad?"

Lily nodded and smiled through her tears.

Yes, Harry.

James smiled. He stared hungrily at Harry, desperate to memorize every inch of his face. He reached his hand forward, placing it right where his son's shoulder reflected. Harry reached up and rested his hand where his father's should have been, imagining the warmth of James's skin, wishing it was real.

Lily looked on with a painful happiness, a happiness she had not felt in so long, a feeling she wanted to hold on to. It was a unlike a happiness she had ever felt before, a longing for something that could never have, but that she loved with all her being. Even though these moments would end, she knew she would always be with her son, and he with her.

The couple sat with their son for a time that seemed immeasurable, wanting to be with him until the end. When Harry finally stood up, he glanced at his mother, whispering "I'll come back."

Every time he did, they sat with him for hours, just watching, feeling, loving their moments together. Moments that had been ripped from them so cruelly.

Sometimes Lily would find herself at the mirror, even when Harry wasn't. She sat, waiting, longing to see the son she had always loved.

One night, Harry sank down in front of the mirror, and Lily and James were there as always; the three of them, together at last. But all too soon, Harry suddenly turned away from his mother's eyes, something else capturing his attention. The moment Harry turned away, the room in the mirror faded to black, Harry's red sweater twisting into darkness as deep as the sky.

Lily stared in disbelief at the blank glass, so close to where her son had just been.

"No," she said simply. "Harry, come back."

James looked down, trying not to cry as he pulled Lily into his arms. She cried into his chest and his tears fell on to her dark red hair, both of them aching for the son they had never known.

A/N: I'm so sorry.

I cried so much writing this. Like boxes of tissues. Boxes.

I'm planning on writing about every time Lily and James are in Harry's life (ie. Priori Incantatem, the Forest Again).

I know it's horribly sad but I have to get it out of my head and this way I won't be the only one who feels this way. ... It's also a lot shorter than I thought, but that's okay.

Many thanks to the "Padfoot and Moony to my Prongs" for helping. )

Charlotte