I'M BACK DAMMIT!

Ok guys I just finished smocking my mom's crack… Nah! just kidding I would never smoke crack… at least not my mothers.. that's the strong stuff…do you realize Im still kidding, right?

Anyways, this story happens after the movie but with the only difference that Megatron killed Unicron after his transformation to Galvatron and I don't need to explain the rest you will understand it all if you read and enjoy!

If you don't, just ask me by reviewin'

PLEASE READ AND IF U DO, REVIEW! IF YOU LIKED IT REVIEW, IF YOU AD THIZ TO FAV SOTRIES REVIEW, IF YOU WANT TO BUY SOME CRACK JUST REVIEW.

I HAVE A SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR "THEBROKENCRADLE" AND "9AZA"

WHERE ARE YOU! YOU'VE BEEN LOST SINCE LAST YEAR OR IT WAS ME?

Just read this I so lovingly wrote:

PARADISE IN HELL

I just came back from my biggest succeed ever, a simple mortal like me just killed a mech who claimed to be a god, how pathetic, but this victory, this achievement that is supposed to make proud the biggest warriors makes me feel nothing different from what my spark had been feeling recently.

So much time had passed, I can't recall how much, I just stopped counting when my spark stopped having hopes for my wounds to heal, not even fighting Unicron brought intense wounds like the ones of a broken spark, a lonely spark, a torn one.

How many times had I claimed to be the mighty leader of the Decepticons? How many times my soldiers had claimed that I am the most powerful warrior in the galaxy for just killing the dark lord? If I am so powerful, so mighty, why do I feel so alike those affirmations?

The answer? Is that all is my fault, my own doings, I brought this to myself and not even the biggest victory against Unicron, not even killing my worst enemy brought ease to my aching spark…

The night looks so bright today, I thought that coming to this foreign city for some fresh air would help me but didn't, I look at the sky again, not even the effects of the high grade can dim the beautiful shine the stars covering me produce, that gorgeous shine that once was mine but I let it slip through my fingers just because I felt that made me weak, as I walk through this damn park I see the reason of my weakness, my processor tells me to hide, I don't want him to look at me I feel ashamed of myself but I remember he can't recognize me, Unicron changed my appearance, besides, there is no way he could put attention to me, not with what I notice he's holding...

I can feel that awful sensation inside my fuel tanks when I finally see what he's holding tenderly between his arms, I can see him smiling sweetly and lovingly to what could had been ours, to what could had been mine.

how stupid I had been to just let Starscream go like that, I try to see closer, he's holding a gorgeous little seeker, definitely the fruit of one of the many punishment I made him go through, again my spark aches at the memories, that baby it's a beautiful seeker, he's so tiny and looking a lot like my beloved, he possesses my old color scheme thought, he looks like a silver angel, so lovely.

And Starscream; I can't take my optics from him, he's looking so beautiful has always, my! You're even looking prettier tonight, what could be the reason love? It is that you are not bandaged and covered on your own energon blood as this monster used to see you? Or is it the reason that you're happy? That I finally get to see your angelic face smile? even if I am not the one producing it, I still remember the many times I used to seduce you just to take you to my berth for the mere sake of my selfish pleasure, ignoring completely that you willingly gave yourself to me because you had feelings for this idiot.

I still remember when I finally found what you felt for me and the horror I felt when I noticed that my spark actually returned your feelings but I thought that the mighty leader, the evil sparkless Megatron couldn't act like some love sick Autobot, than I decided to use you, to hurt you, to break you, maybe that way you could hate me and I could hate you back, but the more I did it the more you forgave me, the more you left me continue, the more you kept by my side.

Every day I used to torture you, I thought that by ripping your gorgeous wings off I was ripping my feelings for you off my spark, and every time you couldn't handle any more pain I decided to take my punishments rougher, much rougher on you, like I said, I was an idiot, each time you screamed with agony my spark followed you, screamed at me to stop, to just stop the pain, each one of your pain tears where mines and I never noticed that the more I hurt you the more I was hurting myself.

Since I started that, I can't remember a single night I could sleep in peace, a single night without listening to my harsh words saying how much I hated you, how much I wanted to break you and your soft little whimpers telling me to forgive you, my little fool, I should had been the one begging your forgiveness back then.
I still remember that night, when deep inside I felt that I went too far with you, I hid in the darkness of the brig where I kept you locked, to just listen to you crying softly begging Primus to just forgive you if you ever did something wrong to make me feel so much hate, you even told him that you stopped being the treacherous little seeker you used to be, just for me, and truth to be told I don't recall when your killing attempts stopped, they just stopped and I never noticed.

You didn't perceived when I got close to just see the countless tears shinning down your optics, some of them mixing in the floor with the energon blood dripping from your recent wounds, you kept asking Primus for strength, that if the only way he wanted to keep us close was this, so be it, but you also asked him for my spark to give you one chance, for me to have mercy meanwhile more tears ran down your gorgeous face, how I longed to just kiss them clean, to kiss you right there and claim you softly, again rage built inside of me for letting myself have those feeling and hurt you again right then and there.

I see the baby you're holding finally waking up, instinctively nuzzling between your neck, I feel the urge to get close to you, my processor says no, but my spark screams a loud and clear yes, and when I try to approach you I can see someone hugging you from behind, softly kissing your head, I finally see the identity of my next to be pray, I can't believe what my optics are seeing, you softly greet that mech with a tender kiss, my beautiful love did you just kissed Soundwave?

By the way he's holding you so lovingly and caring I can say he can make you happy, he will love you, he had always been loyal to me and now with more reason he'll be to you, you were never unnoticed for him my sweet Starscream, he liked you and a lot, it was more than obvious when one day I saw him attending your wounds so carefully, so tenderly.
The way he kept telling you reassuring words or trying to convince you to just stop doing that to yourself, I must admit I felt sickly proud that even after your master hurt you; you just kept loyal to this monster.

Now that I am seeing you in the arms of another, I know how you felt when after trying to break your perfect body; I decided it was time to break your spark...

How much I curse the day Nightbird came into my life, everyone at the base looked at her like a promising warrior, I looked at her like my next weapon against you, one day I decided to order your wing mates to take you out of your cage and after you were fully repaired I started again my seducing games, and you fell again on my trap, if you only knew, my dear, what twisted game I had in mind.

I took you again to my berth, with false promises, false confessions, and then I kissed your soft tender lips, touched your delicate body and claimed you with a false love making routine, or that was what I was trying myself to believe, oh how I remember you beautiful moans of pleasure, they were just perfect, I can still feel your lips lingering against mine, so delicately but with the fire of passion only you possessed, I can still feel your delicious curves I had the luck to caress and kiss, I tried so badly to convince myself countless of time during our love making that I was supposed to fake it, that everything was false, but your intentions were so clear, your feelings so pure, your love so unconditional, so perfect, so hot, that you almost drove me crazy! And I couldn't stop wondering who was the sweet being I was sharing those holy moments with and why haven't I ever noticed it existed? Because like I said countless of times, I am an idiot, a monster, a waste.

And because I was an idiot I did what I did, I knew that the more we made love, the more I made your hopes go up, and when you accidentally whispered the tree words you had longed so much to tell me I decided that finally I could make the highest torture I could inflict to you.

That evening after I finished another lie with you, after you whispered so tenderly 'I love you' I went to my office; I was ready for my final strike, I called you to come see me, I called you because I had something really important to tell you, I told you that it was time to give you my answer to the phrase you so lovingly dedicated me after your sensual overload, If you only would had known what I was going to do my love, the biggest mistake I ever done in my life, a mistake that made me want to kill myself and cease to exist...

When you opened so eagerly the door to my office with your eyes shining so beautifully like jewels, with your spark pounding so hard because you expected me to tell you the same things you told me, what you saw was something alike from what you expected...

I still remember the gleam of joy of your optics being replaced by the gleam of the tears of pain forming on them, the way your face looked like if the world was ending, like if your world was breaking down to small pieces to be left alone forgotten, I can still remember the agony emanating from you, from your broken spark when you saw me kissing, touching and enjoying Nightbird the same way I did with you, on that moment I could almost listen your precious spark breaking into millions of pieces and did I stopped the show? I went further...

'What makes you think I'll ever love you pet?'

Finally I got it; finally I fulfilled my goal, to break you to the point of no repair...

... And that didn't make me feel any better.

If I could only turn back time, If I could only had another change to go back to that day to just rip my spark out and give it to you on a silver platter if you wished, to change the agony you felt that day and turn it into happiness, joy, bliss, pleasure and love.
I should had made you mine when I got the chance, I should had married you, I should had bonded with you, I should had engendered my heir on our honey moon and why not many more? I should had taken care of your swallow womb were the fruit of our love and passion was resting.

But now as I see you holding hands with Soundwave, starting to walk away from where you were sitting, I realize that it was me the one who led you to the arms of another, I wonder my beloved seeker if Soundwave fulfill you? If Soundwave brings you the pleasure I once bought to you? Do you really love him the same way you loved me? Probably yes, but it was me the one who should be carrying back home my son not him, it should be me the one who wakes up tangled with you in our berth not him, it should be me the one caressing you and kissing you.

I had it all and never noticed, now I only walk to the empty bench where you were sitting staring at our son playing and giggling at his loving mother and I just feel like sinking down with each second I spend sitting in there, I no longer put attention at my surroundings, because I no longer care I no longer have reasons to...

Thanks Primus I didn't.

"Excuse me; did you see a toy on the bench? My son left it and just remembered it"

I cannot believe what I am hearing, your soft and sweet voice talking to me again, after so long.

"Mommy! I found it inside my bag!" the gorgeous little seeker came to me and smiled "hello! You seem sad are you ok mister? "He asked me sweetly grabbing my arm, he's so innocent and looking so pure.

I smile back at him, a sad smile it's all I can offer, Starscream suddenly picks him up, maybe he knows who I am and fear that I could hurt my own son?

"Please forgive my baby's meddling" I dare to look up into his optics and I see him smile back at me, my beautiful seeker, how close are you right now and how far away I feel you.

"Is he your son? He looks like an angel" I say hoping to gain a little trust from him "do you mind if I…. hold him?" I ask hoping for Starscream to grant the request I had longed for so long.

"Sure, my baby seems to like you" he smiled back at me and handed me his precious gift, I pick him carefully, Primus he's so small! But also so beautiful, I can't believe after so much time I get the privilege of holding my son, my creation, my little angel, I no longer care who I am and right there at that moment a tear slips down one of my cheeks and I can't help but hug closer my son, I want to listen to his spark beat, I need to feel him close since I would never ever have this chance again, Starscream only stares in curiosity at me and suddenly his expression changes and takes the baby from my hold.

"Hun, go back home, Soundwave's waiting outside the park"

"Mommy, what about you?"

"Tell Soundwave to not worry, mommy found some friends and will come back later" Starscream kisses the little angels forehead before he leaves and turns to look back at me, is that pity what I see on his optics?

"Megatron…" he whispers my name, he recognized me, but I can't look back at his optics, don't deserve it, I just look at the floor unable to hold the ache inside my spark, the ache I suppressed for far too long since I started hurting him, I had never cried in my life, never, and here I am crying in front of the mech that for many years cried for me I only expect for him to tell me that I deserve it, that I deserve all the pain I can get.

I only listen to him kneel and a pair of arms softly circling me, a hand tenderly grabs my chin to make me look at him, I can see his thumb carefully cleaning the tears in the corner of my optics and his face, tenderly looking at me with no regrets only forgiveness, no resentment, no hatred, no need for vengeance, just forgiveness.

"It's ok, Megatron" he whispers softly.

How could have I been so cruel with this angel? How could I have been so blind that I never noticed the perfection handed to me in the shape of a seeker?

"Starscream…" I whimper pathetically "would you ever forgive me?"

"I did long ago, I never hated you, I chose the path I lived"

"No… you didn't, I obligated you to go through that, because I never…. I never told you how important you were for me"

"Everything it's over now, Megatron just let it go, stop torturing yourself"

I can't believe he's holding me close again, he's whispering to me those reassuring words, I do not deserve this…

"I made you suffer far too long, I deserve what I got"

"Everyone deserves a second change Megatron, there's no need to punish yourself" you reply meanwhile you get closer to me, circling your beautiful arms around my neck, hugging me closer nuzzling your head between my neck and I cannot resist the urge to hold you close, I hug you back so strongly that I fear I almost crushed you, but you don't complain, never did…

Even if you belong to someone else, I need to tell you the truth, I need you to know how I felt, I need you to know what I wanted to tell you for years and what you prayed primus to listen to.

"Starscream…." I whisper softly, holding you against my chest, caressing you softly "I love you…"

You only nuzzle further, like if you wanted to answer but couldn't, don't be afraid my beloved , I won't hurt you anymore, I'd rather kill myself than make you go through another moment of pain.

"Star... I love you, I adore you, always did but never wanted to admit, and I hurt you because I wanted to hate you, I wanted for you to hate me back, but you don't know how much I longed for you, how much I wanted you, how much In love I was with you.."

I stop suddenly, I feel his small body shivering, I can listen his chocked sobs, I break the embrace to just see your optics adorned with tears, again I made you cry my love, I don't deserve your tears, don't waste them my angel with this scum, with this insignificant monster.

I suddenly feel a pair of soft lips covering mines, kissing me passionately again; I could taste the unique mixture only you possessed, your sweet flavor, your endearing essence.

I ease us both down to the soft grass of this foreign city, thanks primus no one is here, neither I care, I just care about him, about us, I am no longer going to deny my spark to him, I am no longer going to deny these beautiful feelings, it feels so amazing to hold you again, to kiss you, to touch you, to love you without anything holding me back, I can't believe that the reason of my life is lying beneath me, letting me do with him as I please, my dear you can expect only sweet love from me tonight, genuine and pure, since you are the only thing that I want, without you I had been feeling alone and incomplete, without you I feel like nothing, I want you back, I want my family back, but I cannot have you back, you belong to someone else…

….' If that's so, why is he with you right now?'

I don't know if what my spark speaks is reason, the only thing I know is that tonight, again and for the first time we both became one single mech, we became one, you never gave up on me, you always showed me strength, I'll fight for you, for the both of you….

For my paradise in hell.

Am I not annoying?making sweet little Star suffer everytime I get the chance? well, I will turn the tables you will see...

XoXo PW'NS

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