I was talking to PuppyDogJou and and we agreed that this needed an alternate ending, so here we go! This is the lengthened version!

Icky Vicky is a whore,

Yeah, I know she's been

A wicked bitch to me

But lately something's changed

That ain't hard to define

Icky Vicky's got herself an ex-husband

And I want to make him mine

And he's watching her with those blue,

Blue eyes

And he's lovin' her with that sexy body,

I just know it

Yeah 'n' she's holding him in her arms late,

Late at night

You know, I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man,

I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man

Where can I find a detective like that?

I play along with the charade,

there doesn't seem to be a reason to change

You know, I feel so dirty

When they start talking cute

I wanna tell him that I love him,

But the point is probably moot

'Cos he's watching her with those blue,

Blue eyes

And he's lovin' her with that sexy body,

I just know it

And she's holding him in her arms late,

Late at night

You know, I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man,

I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man

Where can I find a detective like that?

Like Icky Vicky's man,

I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man

Where can I find a detective,

Where can I find a detective like that?

And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time,

Wondering what he don't see in me

I've been funny,

I'm a psychic,

I've been cool with the eighties lines,

I've even shared my pineapple

Ain't that the way

Love supposed to be?

Tell me, where can I find a detective like that?

You know, I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man,

I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man

I want Icky Vicky's man,

Where can I find a Lassie like that?

Like Icky Vicky's man,

I wish that I had Icky Vicky's man,

I want,

I want Icky Vicky's man

Gus couldn't stop staring until Shawn was finished flouncing around the Psych office with the handle of a hairbrush to his mouth as he belted out his tune seemingly on the spot.

"…Shawn, I seriously worry about you and your creepy obsession with Lassie sometimes."

"I wish that I had Icky Vicky's maaaan!"

Shawn really didn't like Victoria… or any other exes of Lassie's, for that matter. This was just his way of getting a little secret payback. By dedicating a rather rude parody of an eighties song to her, hell yes!

"…What the hell did I just walk in on?"

Shawn immediately froze, ever so slowly turning around to see Lassie standing at the door with a total "WTF?" look on the cop's face. Dammit. Plastering a cheesy grin on his face, Shawn tried to look as innocent as possible.

"Uh… nothing." Yeah, that was smooth. Shawn mentally rolled his eyes at himself. The one time he needed to think fast and he blanked, of course.

"…That's it? No witty explanation for this mess?" Lassie did not seem amused as he crossed his arms over his chest. Mm, those arms looked so safe and warm. What he wouldn't do to cuddle in them…

"How about All Crab at seven?" Shawn blurted hopefully, taking a leap of faith. Lassie had already caught him singing about his jealousy of the Head Detective's ex-wife, so why not? Lassie paused, his scowl not lifting from his face. Shawn's tummy did a nervous flip. This was a mistake, he shouldn't have…

"I'm not big on sea food. Make it Greek Bistro at eight. And Spencer?" Shawn blinked, hardly believing his ears. He nodded dumbly, not sure how to take this in. He had a date – a date! – with Carlton Lassiter of the SBPD.

"Don't be late. Your ass better be there when I expect it to be." And then Lassie had left, causing Shawn to wonder what the older male had stopped by for in the first place. Well, he could always ask the taller man later… on their date! Giddy with joy, he whooped and pumped his fist in the air.

"Gus! Did you hear that? …Gus?" Where was Gus?

"…I was so not expecting that." Gus's head popped out from under his desk, having been hiding in case Lassie's head exploded and he needed to take cover. He didn't particularly like the idea of getting brain splatters on his clothing. Lassie agreeing to go to dinner with Shawn, though? Completely weird.

"I think you're both crazy, Shawn."

"Ha! Crazy or not, I've got to get ready for this evening. I've got a hot date!" And Shawn was suddenly scurrying into the bathroom to preen for the next hour or two while Gus was left shaking his head.

Well, the double zinger to Shawn's song was this: Guess who has two thumbs and actually got Icky Vicky's Man in the end? That's right, this guy!