A/N: Hello everyone! I didn't expect to post something so soon but this just kind of happened. I have ideas to make it more than a one shot but can't promise frequent updates. Let's pretend it's a one shot for now in case it ends up being that way. I'm interested to hear what you think so please take a second for a review. Thanks for reading!

Oh yeah. Don't own anything...blah blah. Also, some coarse language so be warned.

Dammit! Jane Rizzoli's right hand rubbed the back of her neck as her left rested lightly against the steering wheel of her cruiser, guiding her mindlessly through late night Boston traffic. An exasperated sigh filled the otherwise empty cabin, sounding incredibly loud over the low whine of the police radio's droning static. Fuck that hurts! She winced against the radiating pain in her back and forearms from her earlier scuffle with a kidnapper and murderer in that nasty forsaken slaughter house. Better not get chicken mites from that bastard. Eww. She shuddered slightly at the thought, long fingers scratching absentmindedly at a phantom itch on her thigh. Scrubbing her hand tiredly across her face, she knew that the sigh wasn't for the pain but for Maura. Smacking her hand against the dashboard in stupidly violent frustration, she knew she had fucked up royally. She had broken some surely unwritten code of friendship between cops and those few people foolish enough to get involved with them. Involved... Riiight. Dark eyes rolled as a decision was made and she took the turn toward Brookline without a second thought of the time or possible repercussions. She had to fix this with her best friend even if she had to beg forgiveness on opposite sides of an expensive oak door.

Groaning, she spoke to no one in particular, contempt clear in her voice. "You are a real piece of work, Rizzoli. Investigating the ONE person who has always stood by you…even when you do stupid shit." Technically, she hadn't investigated Maura but her enigmatic, globe-trotting, Interpol fugitive boyfriend. The hurt look on the medical examiner's face at their last meeting flashed through her mind and a new wave of guilt and nausea roiled in her gut as her friend's incredulous words played over and over on a loop in her head. "You've been investigating me?" Jane had no right stepping over that boundary. When her mother came to her with the information, she should've refused but just couldn't resist digging deeper. For obvious reasons, she would rather not admit that her actions stemmed not from a noble pursuit of justice but a deep seated jealousy born from the fact that Maura had been so secretive and evasive about Ian. Hell, even her Ma knew that her feelings were bruised by the doctor's reticence to share any details past or present about the mysterious medicine man.

"Shit." A sculpted jaw clenched against the emotions threatening to rise up and demand attention, blinking back the sudden sting that she attributed to the shimmering glow of headlights on the rain slicked pavement. The homicide detective couldn't really pinpoint the exact moment in time that she had allowed Maura Isles so far inside of her carefully constructed system of walls that this current rift between them left her feeling like something hideous was trying to claw its way out of her chest, the fear of possible loss palatable. Rolling her eyes, she laughed harshly at the melodramatic imagery. But…it actually kind of matched the burning hollow she felt each time her mind drifted to her best friend which was often. God. Flipping the car's high beams off, she turned into the doctor's driveway taking note of the lights still glowing downstairs.

Unexpected nerves assailed her as she cut the engine. Jane sat there in the shadow of well-placed security floods, her fingers worrying old scars. Ian. He was wanted by Interpol for questioning and it was her duty as a servant of the law to arrest him. Dammit! She whacked the steering wheel hard and repeatedly for good measure, wincing as she flexed both hands trying to rid the resulting pain. Her need to see and make things right with Maura over-ruled everything else so she exited the car and hobbled up to the front door, knocking confidently even though she didn't feel it. I can't lose her. I WON'T. Dark curls shook as she prepared for a battle. When the door flung open, all strategy was lost at the sight she faced and any prepared words dissolved in the back of her throat.

The look of anguish on the doctor's face left Jane stunned, hoping against hope that her actions weren't the cause. The overwhelming guilt coursing through her body and the intense desire to reconcile left the detective off kilter, not a place she was used to being so she went with neutral. "Hi." She frowned as she said it, expecting the worst, unable to interpret the multiple emotions flitting across her best friend's face, heart rate accelerating dangerously, sweat breaking out on the back of her neck.

Opening the door and seeing Jane standing there… something shattered inside. Maura had worked so hard all evening after coming home to find Ian gone with a hastily scribbled note on the breakfast bar to carefully pull together her resolve to be strong; digging down deep and patching the metaphorical holes in her rapidly unraveling emotional state. Now with her friend so close, looking straight into her eyes as if she were able to read everything, the doctor felt laid bare and at a loss for a proper response. "Hi." She swallowed hard, somehow comforted by the fact that she had never doubted that Jane would come to her tonight no matter the hour; she was always there when needed. But when asked if she were okay in that caring raspy voice, the tenuous hold the medical examiner had over her tears was lost. Shaking her head, she bit back against a sob, stepping away from the door hoping that some distance would lend her some control, knowing without a backward glance that the detective would follow.

Shit! Hurting all over, Jane winced as she stepped into her friend's house and shut the door, brows creased in concern, internally kicking herself for being such a bitch earlier. Seeing the obvious pain on Maura's face made her feel like the piece of…Wait. Ian. Oh god please let him be out. Trying to still her hammering heart, she willed her voice to sound as casual as possible. "Where's Ian?" Her detective's eye had already swept the room and noticed that the boxes of medical supplies were gone, no longer littering every flat surface of her friend's stylish and expensive décor. Her eyes focused on Maura, now perched dejectedly on a barstool in the kitchen, taking in her body language as she talked about harboring a fugitive and being arrested, capable hands twisting used tissues. Jane often found herself mesmerized by Maura's hands and secretly took great pleasure in watching their graceful movements; small but strong, skilled and sure on most days and always, ALWAYS immaculately groomed but never tipped in garish colors that the less elegant favored.

When people talk about the loves of their lives… Words spoken so softly savagely ripped through the detective's carefully disguised observations to pierce her heart. A scarred hand fluttered unconsciously to rest momentarily over the erratic thump and scratched across slightly flushed skin, smoothing a dark freckle before dropping back to the cool granite. She couldn't help her hurt response even though she hoped that her tone didn't betray her true feelings. "You never ever mentioned him."

Listening to Maura's tearful explanation, Jane decided then and there that she needed to tamp down whatever the hell it was that was going on with her and be the best friend she could be. Checking back into the conversation, she caught red rimmed eyes and did her best to inject a little levity, threatening to arrest her own mother for gross attempts at organizing the doctor's already pristine cabinets and more specifically her closet. She even offered to take the medical examiner to the airport, visibly relieved at the twice stated refusal. Smiling affectionately, "You want me to sit with you 'till you feel better?"

"Yeah." That was all she could manage. Maura felt drained and conflicted and unsure of what she was feeling, good or bad and her mind felt like it was on overload trying to sort the pieces of a giant puzzle with a few vital ones missing. God. She just wanted to rest. Jane pulled her into strong arms and she shamelessly buried her face in the detective's neck, inhaling the soothing scent that she had inadvertently come to associate with an inherent sense of belonging, arms wrapping around a narrow waist as the detective murmured softly in her ear that everything would be okay. Strangely, words from those lips, she could almost believe to be true. Maura couldn't suppress the shiver that shimmied up and down her spine at the sound of her friend's raspy voice so close and intimate, their proximity affecting the doctor in ways she knew were not within the normal precepts of best friendship. They stood that way for a few minutes in an easy silence, each reveling in the comfort of their embrace until Jane pulled back with a slight smile and brushed a few curls away from the medical examiner's face.

Looking over her petite friend's shoulder, Jane frowned at the small glass the doctor had been sipping from earlier. She pulled back further but didn't drop her hands that were resting lightly in the narrow dip above Maura's hips. Scrunching her nose, she laced her voice with a slight tinge of disgust, already knowing the answer before asking. "What IS that you are drinking?"

Well-manicured brows knitted together in confusion as she watched Jane step away and further into the kitchen, missing the contact immediately. Quickly wrapping her own arms around her middle, she tried to capture some of the fleeting heat before answering. "Black tea. Why are you acting as if it is so unsavory? It actually has well-documented… Jane? What are you doing?" She was fairly certain she could conclude exactly what her lanky friend was doing based on simple observation but this was the game they played. A small smile tugged at her lips as she felt a familiar warmth begin to take hold inside and spread; melting the temporary frost that had settled with Ian's abrupt departure. Falling silent, she watched the detective try and navigate the newly alphabetized system instigated by Angela, growing increasingly more frustrated before she finally found what she needed.

"Seriously? Gah!" Jane couldn't believe the mess her Ma had made of the once immaculate kitchen. She just prayed the multitude of ridiculous labels would come off without leaving sticky residue and hints of partial paper in their wake, her focus returning. "Maur, you don't drink tea in a situation like this," she spoke as she busied herself in her task. Turning to weak laughter, she narrowed her eyes in a mock glare as she made quick work of the cork on one of Maura's favorite bottles of red, completely ignoring the raised brow of censure at her heavy pour. "I mean…WINE glasses. Why the hell would they not be under 'W'?"

The doctor took the oversized glass with a small smile of thanks, feeling utterly exhausted and drained but incredibly grateful for Jane's presence. "Riedel stemware, Jane. Filed under 'R' next to the…" She was unable to think straight and allowed herself to be led by long, gentle fingers around her wrist to the sofa where the two took up their normal positioning on any typical movie night or baseball viewing… except the television was off and they were bathed instead by soft lamp light. Silence settled, interrupted only by the sipping of fine wine and their breathing.

Maura could sense dark eyes watching her and could feel the worry radiating off of the woman next to her as if it were a physical being, an unseen force wrapping around and binding them together. Without looking over, her left found a scarred hand and twined their fingers together, smiling at the way long tanned ones immediately curled protectively around her own. Taking another sip of the rich Cabernet, heavy lids slid closed and she allowed herself an indulgent moment to take in the tannins and notes of black cherry and other dark fruit before confessing to the one person in her life that she felt comfortable enough with and compelled to share the story of her past with Ian.

Jane sat patiently stroking her thumb absentminded over smooth skin…she was always amazed at how soft the medical examiner's hands were given the fact that they spent the majority of time encased in powdered latex and exposed to harsh cleansers. Taking a large sip of the velvety liquid, she angled her body toward the doctor so she could try to get a read on how she was feeling and what she needed. A friend. Be a friend. She could see the struggle in the way perfect brows were furrowed and lips were drawn tight and desperately wanted to put the doctor at ease. Squeezing their joined hands, her voice was sincere. "Maur, you don't have to tell me. I'm so sorry I've been such a jerk. I just…I just really don't know what to say… I just… whatever you need, I'll do it." The echo of those words weren't lost on the doctor. Whatever you want, I can get it!

Maura's smile was tired but it found her eyes as she turned to find deep brown. "No, Jane. I want to tell you… I think I need to tell you. I'm sorry that I've been less than forthcoming these past few days. It's just that…" Loose curls shook and the doctor dropped her gaze to her lap where her glass rested atop her thigh, her voice falling to almost a whisper. "It's just that being around him leaves me very off balance and unsure… I don't really feel like myself." With a heavy sigh, she swallowed the remaining wine and leaned forward to place her now empty glass on the coffee table before settling back into the richly patterned sofa cushions, never breaking the contact of their joined hands. Her eyes drifted closed for a second, exhaustion and the effects of the alcohol pulling against her desire to relay the details of her past.

Jane was almost certain the doctor had drifted off to sleep and scooted a little closer noting the deep even pattern of her breathing. With her free hand she tucked a few silky strands behind Maura's ear so that she could see her, surprised to find hazel green watching her intently. There was something in her friend's eyes that the detective couldn't place and their gaze held before a slow shy smile bloomed on a slightly freckled face.

Moving closer and settling into Jane's side, the doctor was relieved to feel a strong arm drape across her shoulder and pull her in tight. Her eyes closed momentarily in anticipation as she felt the expected sense of calm and warmth wash over her, breathing in her friend's scent and putting her on safe ground to continue. Scraping her hand across a flat stomach she once again twined their fingers together, squeezing slightly; her voice low as she stared ahead toward the empty fireplace. "I met Ian when I worked with Medecins Sans Frontieres in Ethiopia…Doctors Without Borders." For a moment she got lost in the memories of the horrors they had witnessed and the depravity before settling on the happier times they had shared, pushed together in a place that they only had each other to depend upon. Clenching her jaw, she wasn't certain of anything that happened between them anymore. So much time removed gave a person a chance at a changing perspective.

Feeling long fingers comb through her hair, she found dark eyes and shrugged before dropping her gaze again. "We shared some very intense moments together… it was just the two of us for months at a time. You cannot even imagine the… the poverty… the inequity and injustice. It was…" She stopped to swipe her hand across the tears that had begun to fall, shaking her head before looking up to find fully engaged deep brown. "Jane…"

The tears were the detective's undoing. She had pushed her friend into this confession like she did everything else… a bull in a fucking china shop. Shit! Pinching the bridge of her nose, her voice came out a broken rasp, coarse and pleading. "Maura. You don't have to do this. I'm SO sorry that I put you in this positnnnnph." Cool fingers stopped the detective's worn speech, her eyes flashing open at the contact to find determined hazel green, a fire she hadn't noticed before tonight burning brightly.

"Jane. Please let me finish. I want you to know this. I need you to know this." Waiting for silent confirmation, the doctor continued, resting her head on the detective's shoulder, holding her close as her words vibrated through Jane's chest. "We…during the tough times we talked about getting married and living our lives together just to make it through…having children and growing old together." Maura paused to look up only to find accepting chocolate brown willing her to continue. "Ian was big on painting extravagant pictures of our future; where we would live, what we would be doing. I fell in love with him then…" Her voice took on a wistful quality. "I really did. We had shared so much and to hear him talk about our future; I never doubted that the beautiful life he imagined would happen. Honestly, I had never expected it to be a possible reality for me…" She tried to pull away from Jane at this point but was held firm, a lingering kiss to her temple calming the unrest momentarily.

Feeling the shame that always made an appearance when Ian left seep in fully, she shuddered against strong arms, trying again to pull back unsuccessfully, tears stinging her eyes. "We've been through this exact same scenario at least three times since we said good-bye in Heathrow; me coming back to the States so many years ago. But it really is more of the same…We…" Her voice broke as silent tears fell. "We…we really don't belong together. I know we don't but every time he shows up…it's like the past just washes over me and I can't catch my breath. Part of me knows that I shouldn't let him back in but part of me becomes that young, naïve girl again and gets swept up in his promises and heroics… He's always known how to play me with his renewed vows of change and what we could be… he knows my need to be...cared for." The last words were barely a whisper before the doctor tensed and continued. "And stupidly, I seem to fall for it." Eyes dropping, her voice choked and cracked, ashamed for her admission. "I feel like such a fool, Jane… I know so much better than this. I need SO much more…" Crying fully against the detective's shoulder, she let go, her hands grasping for all she could get, cotton and skin, letting years of anguish out surrounded by a comforting hold and a familiar scent that left her feeling safe and loved.

Placing a kiss to sweaty curls as sobs subsided; Jane stood and pulled the weary medical examiner with her into an immediate embrace. Tucking their bodies together, the detective couldn't help but smile a little at the perfect fit as she dropped another sweet kiss to Maura's temple, whispering against soft skin. "Shhh. Maur. It's okay. It's going to be okay, I promise. Shhhh." Her teeth ground together, the muscle in her jaw twitching at the effort as she bit down against the words that immediately filled her mind at the doctor's confession…the need to hunt down and beat the shit out of Ian was overpowering but had to take a back seat… at least for the time being. Holding the doctor at arm's length, she dipped her head so they could be eye to eye in an attempt to throw every bit of conviction behind the words she was about to speak. "Look at me, Maura." A watery, red-rimmed gaze snapped up at the command and Jane continued. "You… YOU are most definitely not a fool." Strong hands moved higher to cradle the doctor's face and brush away a few tears, "You are one of the most amazing, brilliant and… and caring people I know. Anyone would be SO lucky to be with you…hell, just to know you." Anger tinged her voice as her eyes darkened. "You are NOT a fool. Okay? I just…You…you know...you are…well…you." She couldn't finish the sentence and instead smiled hoping it would be enough as hazel green stared at her with such intensity, it made Jane's skin prickle and she had to work hard not to look away.

Maura couldn't move; couldn't speak. The sincerity in her friend's words and the depth of caring conveyed in those deep brown eyes and protective posture left her feeling rooted to the spot, a twisting of emotion stirring from deep inside and making itself known again, loudly nudging against the doctor's ideal order. Swallowing hard, she found herself; a slow smile matching the detective's. Without hesitation, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her friend, squeezing hard before burying her face in Jane's neck. Taking a moment just to breathe in the comforting musky warmth, she placed a barely there kiss to tan skin, her voice a coarse whisper, drained from the day and emotion. "Thank you, Jane. For being here... like you always are. I don't know how I would…" She left the rest open ended. It didn't need completion.

Jane winced and bit back the hiss of pain from the doctor's tight embrace, drawing a little blood from the inside of her lip. Instead she chose to focus on the woman in her arms and allow herself the luxury of feeling. And god it felt so good. I'm so fucked. Clenching her jaw, she clamped down against desire and focused on what Maura needed and wanted; friendship. Holding the doctor closer, she looped her left arm low as her right rubbed up and down in a methodical motion, drawing endless patterns across the smooth expanse of the medical examiner's cashmere covered skin, inhaling the fragrant floral notes of designer shampoo.

They stood that way for a few minutes, taking comfort as it was given until Jane reluctantly pulled back with a small smile on her lips as she found Maura's hooded eyes. Her smile widened at the completely adorable childlike look on the sleepy doctor's face and she had to stifle her laughter. Instead, she lowered her raspy voice to an almost whisper as her fingers couldn't resist stroking the medical examiner's beautiful face and neck, her left grasped gently around a slack wrist. "Maur, we need to get you to bed. You still with me? You'll feel better in the morning, alright?" A slight head shake as hazel eyes drifted shut was all she was going to get. Tugging slightly, she led them up the stairs and into the master bedroom, sitting her charge on the edge of the bed before she crossed to the top drawer of an antique armoire and found silky navy pajamas.

Night clothes in hand, Jane turned back toward the bed and her breath hitched. Maura had managed to strip off her cardigan and camisole and was desperately working on her slacks, finally managing to kick them off with triumph before draping them across the end of the bed on autopilot. The detective's head dropped back briefly as she stared at the ceiling to still her will, clenching her jaw with purpose before crossing the room. Kneeling in front of her emotionally depleted friend, their eyes met naturally as she carefully unhooked the clasp of Maura's bra and stripped it away, her free hand working on getting the doctor settled into the pajama top. Again, there was an intensity in the way the doctor was looking at her unblinkingly that left Jane unsettled and feeling hyper aware of their closeness, goose bumps rising on the back of her neck and forearms. Buttons buttoned, the detective tried desperately to forget the expanse of creamy flawless skin burned into her brain and under her fingertips, not to mention the obviously erect nipples straining against smooth fabric. Has to be the cool air…right? I. Am. Going. To. Die. Get a grip dammit!

Rolling dark eyes, she stood and pulled the half asleep doctor up with her before guiding her to the right side of the bed, pulling the covers back and tucking her in tightly. Jane sat carefully on the edge of the mattress and pushed a few strands away from her friend's face, gaze locked on glassy hazel green. "You are going to be okay, Maur. Tomorrow is Saturday. I'll come get you and take you to breakfast and we can go to that open air market you like so much. Okay?" Long fingers massaged an unknown rhythm against the doctor's scalp, smirk sliding into place. "I'll even shop with you at those frou frou boutiques you like." Her smile grew. "I'll be like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and… well, I guess you'll be Richard Gere because you have all the money." Standing stiffly, the muscles in her lower back protested mightily at the movement as she leaned over and dropped a light kiss on Maura's forehead before reaching to cut off the bedside lamp. A tentative grasp capturing her fingertips stopped her motion and she turned back toward the bed with a questioning look.

"Stay… Please?" Her voice was only a small whisper and Maura hated that she sounded so weak but the thought of not having Jane by her side scared her more than her pride. She searched warm brown eyes and released a breath when dark curls shook slowly and knowingly in the affirmative. "You have a drawer full of clothes or you can wear anything of mine." The doctor chuffed out a tiny laugh at the smirk on Jane's face, dark brow arched in mischief. "Yes, I said anything Jane. Although I don't think you would be very comfortable sleeping in one of my dresses." The warmth of her friend's presence filled her as she watched the lean detective stalk over to the armoire, pulling a few items out and tossing them onto the dresser before tentatively removing her button down and her tank top with a stifled hiss.

It was as if all exhaustion fell away at the sight of angry pink and purple mottling marring the otherwise flawless olive skin of the detective's back. Maura was on her feet and crossing the room in an instant, tiredness…emotional and physiological… forgotten. "My god, Jane! What happened?" Reaching out with a hesitant but gentle touch, she traced lightly over the forming contusions stretching from the dip of narrow hips up to prominent scapulae, feeling the shiver and ripple of muscles underneath her fingertips. "I'm sorry. I'm sure my hands are cold… it's just…you must be in a great deal of pain."

Strong shoulders slumped at the doctor's searing touch, an exhale of breath whooshing past gritted teeth as Jane tried to reign in her physical response. God! She needed to get a grip on this… whatever it was before things got out of control and she lost Maura for good. Hell, she probably just needed to get laid. What's that guy's name from the DA's office that asked me out last week? That might could work. Gingerly pulling a soft tank top over her head, she turned to find concerned hazel green and knew in an instant that wouldn't be the solution… her feelings for this woman ran so much deeper than a one night stand.

She couldn't help but smile as the doctor blinked at her, obvious fear etched into the lines of her face as she stood as disheveled as the detective had ever seen her but never as beautiful. Her soft smile grew as she traced a finger across the medical examiner's cheek, words low and soothing. "I'm sure it looks a lot worse than it is. Our guy Ted didn't want to go peacefully and got the drop on me." Noticing tear filled eyes widen, her hand fell to rest in the gentle slope between shoulder and neck, calloused thumb tracing gentle patterns across smooth skin. "Hey. We got what we needed and managed to save Emma and Aidan in the process…win/win right?" She couldn't read the look on Maura's face and was surprised to watch her walk away wordlessly, disappearing into the spacious en suite bathroom.

Jane was hurt. Again. Although the doctor in her knew that the bruises would fade given time, she understood that currently they had to be a source of pain. Bracing her arms against the cool imported marble vanity, Maura found tired, blood-shot eyes in the mirror and hardly recognized herself. The ordeal with Ian seemed to pale somewhat next to her overall, sometimes consuming concern for Jane. Fundamentally, she knew that her friend's job was dangerous but that fact didn't make it any easier when she witnessed the physical ramifications. Taking a deep breath, the doctor stilled her fears, locking them away in order to protect her best friend from her worry. A slightly shaking hand opened the medicine cabinet and took down a bottle of Ibuprofen, doling out a few pills before filling a clean glass full of water and returning to the low lit bedroom only to find Jane standing in the exact place she had left her looking a little lost and stunned. Maura couldn't help but smile slightly at the detective as she approached; eyes taking in the well-worn tank top and running shorts that left long tanned legs exposed to the cool air, strong hands splayed on hips while teeth worried a lower lip. "Here. Take these. They will help with the pain and swelling."

For a moment, all Jane could manage was to stare openly and blink slowly. It was as if her brain had been rebooted and she was working on a really old operating system… the kind she hated when she first started working in Homicide that took forever to get anything done. Okay. So maybe some of that was her fault…but that was neither here nor there. Fucking computers. Her smile returned as she looked down at the unkempt doctor and the capsules in her hand. "Thanks." She had to swallow against the frog in her throat and cursed her nervous response, hoping it had gone unnoticed. Throwing her head back to down the pills, she groaned a little in protest before gulping the offered water, returning the glass with a grin. Watching Maura place it dutifully on a coaster on the nearby dresser she couldn't help but feel warmed by these intimate acts of a night time ritual that felt so right, forgoing the normal scolding she would typically deliver to put her thoughts back on the acceptable friendship track. Carefully linking their fingers, she waited on hazel green to meet her gaze before she cocked her head over her shoulder. "Bedtime Doctor Isles?" A beat passed with their eyes locked before Maura smiled shyly and nodded the affirmative; allowing herself to be led to her side of the bed, tucked under expensive and amazingly soft Egyptian cotton sheets and a down comforter. Long fingers brushed her hair back as Jane hovered above; hesitating before she pulled away and crossed to the opposite side, sliding beneath the bedding with ease.

The quiet was deafening and usually reliable meditation wasn't working. Maura was exhausted but just couldn't seem to relax her overactive mind enough to grasp the elusive sleep that she so longingly craved. So many emotions and memories were overwhelming in their rapid-fire presentation, rattling the long closed lid off the box of her insecurities. A feeling of despair settled in, taking root and drawing blood from her heart as warm, silent tears slipped from the corner of her eyes before disappearing into her hair and ears. Logically, she knew that she and Ian were not meant to be together; logistically and relationally, it was impossible… they were too different now in their goals and priorities. He still lived the life of the nomad, no strings attached with grandiose dreams about their future without the slightest intention of making good on his promises. She needed more…wanted more. Do I deserve more? Choking on a sob, she was careful not to wake Jane. It all came down to this moment; she was alone again to mourn the death of a relationship that at one time meant the world to her but was a chapter in her life best closed. Another chapter closed revealing a stark inadequacy for sustaining intimate attachments of any significant length of time. You are the common denominator. You. Biting her lip, heavy lids slid closed releasing a fresh stream. She expected the thought to surface; it had been subtly introduced into her subconscious as a child and later as a young adult.

Jane Rizzoli was not a woman of patience nor was she one to remain still for more than a few minutes at a time. Lying in bed next to Maura, she pulled on every bit of her reserves to stay quiet and let her friend process without her interference. Truthfully, she knew that she couldn't be objective and was afraid of revealing too much about herself if she opened her mouth and stated exactly what she wanted to do to that smug bastard son-of-a-bitch Ian. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and willed her senses to focus on Maura, knowing right away that she wasn't sleeping merely by the ragged patterns of her breathing. She was very well aware that the doctor needed time to think things through and sort her conclusions into neatly defined compartments. Still. It was a struggle to remain silent when she knew the other woman was hurting. She itched to touch, her fingers lacing and clenching against each other. I could kill that fucking slimy, smarmy rat bastard. Her jaw clenched as dark eyes peered up at the ceiling. In the end, it was the silent sob that broke her. Turning her head, she slid her hand forward across soft cotton until she found its mate, twining their fingers together. "Maura." She inwardly cursed the hoarse broken timbre of her voice. She hated it sometimes.

The medical examiner smiled softly at the feel of long fingers looped with her own, emotion getting the better of her as she tried unsuccessfully to stop the sniffles, swiping her right hand across her face to erase the evidence of her sorrow. She turned her head to the side, trying to make out the detective's features in the moonlit glow of the bedroom. Tethered to strength, she felt the undeniable need to ask…to expose her greatest fear in front of the one person who had never let her down; never left and who she was certain would tell her the truth. Always. Swallowing hard, she willed the words to come, her voice broken and quiet. "Do you think it's me, Jane? Really? Do you?"

Dark eyes widened and nostrils flared at the vulnerability laced into the question and Jane wished she could meet every single person that had contributed to the doctor's doubt…and make them fucking see how wrong they were. Heart rate accelerating, she pulled on their joined hands forcefully, her voice a low growl. "Come here." Not satisfied until Maura was settled in against her side, half atop her lanky body did she continue, long arms forming a protective loop around her friend. Anger was making the detective see stars and she knew she need to calm down and collect her thoughts before she said what was needed to be said, her hand rubbing lightly up and down the length of the medical examiner's back while she took her time. A cool nose nuzzling into the crook of her neck accompanied by warm moist puffs of breath against her overheated skin brought her back to reality and back to the bed they shared.

A shaky hand combed through mussed golden brown curls in an attempt to calm as she finally found her voice, a little softer than before. "Maura." The detective cleared her throat and swallowed, deciding to go with the truth. "Really? I would like to beat the shiii…I would like to strangle anyone that has ever made you doubt yourself." Waiting for hazel to find her in the dark, she smiled slightly, fingers resting at the nape of the doctor's neck, tracing tiny patterns. "I told you before and I meant what I said." She smirked in the dark. "Rizzoli's don't lie… Well. Okay. I don't lie to you." Her smile widened. "You are one of the most amazing people I've ever known, Maur… You are incredibly gifted, brilliant… yes, a little goofy at times." Jane rolled her eyes and smiled before her countenance grew stoic again, her fingers resuming their sifting through silky tresses as her voice dropped to a reverent whisper. "You give so much to so many… I just don't know how…" Her scratchy voice broke and she cleared her throat again, blinking against the sting. "I just don't know how I would…I'm just really thankful to have you…" Fear of saying too much pushed her forward, falling back on old habits. "And if others are too stupid to get you… that's their loss, okay? Yeah?" Her voice took on a mischievous tone as she tightened her grip around a slender waist, her fingers brushing skin where the doctor's shirt had ridden up. "I say fuck 'em. They don't deserve you." The muffled giggle against the skin of her neck was her reward. Mission accomplished. Score one for Rizzoli.

Maura smiled and took a deep breath, her nose brushing back and forth against a prominent clavicle before she raised her head to find dark eyes full of mirth. "So that's what we are going with as our plan? The 'fuck 'em' defense?" She could see the white of Jane's full grin shine in the pale light of the bedroom and couldn't help the curve of her own lips, bolstered by a throaty laugh that she would never grow tired of hearing. Slowly, she lowered her head back to her spot and snuggled closer, her arm slung low across the detective's stomach, fingers curling into the taut groove of her friends waist pulling her closer. The steady thump of a healthy heart beneath her ear left the medical examiner feeling soothed and ready for sleep; previous anxiety falling away with each beat as her fingers rubbed unknown patterns across warm, tight skin. A small smile spread as a new discovery was made but all she could manage was a lazy but content, "Hmmmmm."

Jane felt like she was going to come undone at the feel of Maura's fingers on her exposed stomach. Swallowing hard, she tightened her grip on her friend. Friend. Fuck! Indulging in the fact that they were surrounded by darkness, she buried her nose in golden brown hair, inhaling deeply as her mind wandered. She could be a good friend. Right?…She just needed to get a grip on the shit going on in her head. Dark brows furrowed as her right hand began to lightly stroke up and down the doctors silk clad back of its own accord. She couldn't lose Maura…She needed the medical examiner in her pathetic life…somewhere along the line, want had become need. Jaw clenched, Jane exhaled slowly through flared nostrils. Friends. Decision made. She would put aside everything and be the doctor's best friend because that is all that was warranted and that she could excel at…she…she could be a DAMN good best friend. Hell, she would be such a great BFF that she could win a fucking award if there were such a thing. Her dark musings were interrupted by a low hum that vibrated through her chest and she couldn't help but ask, her hand gliding higher to sift through soft curls, the unavoidable smile taking its place on her face whenever she addressed Maura. "What? What are you thinking?"

Caught dead to rights in her internal musings but too sleepy and comfortable to use her practiced ability to obfuscate, Maura's unavoidable idiosyncrasy to tell the truth took front and center as her fingers continued to explore the detective's well defined abdomen. Not moving her head from its comfortable home in the crook of Jane's neck, she felt her breath puff and rebound against her lips. "It's just that…well…" She smiled against tanned skin. "For someone of your lean musculature and strong angles… you are…" She yawned before trying again. "You are surprisingly comfortable to lie upon and I have nooodoubt that I'll have sweeedreeeams."

Jane almost choked…a valiant effort kept her voice steady before she realized that Maura had fallen asleep. "Great." She whispered into nothingness. Dropping a kiss against tousled hair, she smiled and whispered, "Sweet dreams, Maur." Looking up at the ceiling as she felt hot, steady breath against her neck, the detective knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep this night… or was it morning yet? With a deep sigh, she settled in against the soft mattress, relishing the feel of the doctor in her arms and the light weight draped comfortably across her body.

Friends. We are nothing more than friends. She had to remind herself even as the fingers of her right hand traced patterns against warm bare skin, heavy eyes drifting closed at the sensation before snapping back to attention at the low moan that vibrated between them. Did Maura just…? Not chancing any movement, Jane held her breath and determined that the doctor was still in a deep sleep. A sly smile spread on the detective's face as she returned to her previously stalled motions emboldened; her hand moving a little higher, tracing continuous circles along the way. "Mmmmm. Jaaane." Oh. My…! The bolt of heat scorched from the inside out at the sensually murmured exhalation, throwing a regular sinus rhythm into overdrive. Oh yeah. LONG night. The smile returned as Jane nuzzled into the curls that were tickling her chin, her voice a coarse whisper. "But SO worth it."

Okay. There it is. I know it is a little long. Please take a second and let me know what you thought and who is out there reading. Thanks so much guys! You are awesome!