I have to admit, the title was inspired by the cartoon Charlie Brown - you know, the one with Snoopy in it? My dad showed me all those shows, like It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! and so I guess It's Fanfiction, Allen! used the format of Charlie Brown. Credit to them.
At first, I wanted to write a Yullen fanfic (because I love that pairing 8D), but in the end I guess this idea just came to me. Might write another DGM fic some time later.
Anyway, this fanfiction contains outside references - Liar Game, a seinen pyschological manga, and The Lonely Island, a band (kind of) that's rather vulgar and stuff, but some of the songs are hilarious. Feel free to research either in order to understand such references in the fanfiction. However, don't worry, because they're not essential to the plot.
Also, great thanks to Erzazel for pointing out some of my mistakes. I would consider her my DGM beta. YOU BETTER POST YOUR FANFICTION SOON! :D
By the way, I've decided that this story is not purely for entertainment, but also for education, in the fanfiction world. It's a guide to the fandom of Fanfiction(dot)net, and so you might learn stuff here that you need to know with relation to this website.
Sorry for the extremely long author's note. And with all that in mind, enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DGM, Liar Game or The Lonely Island.
A small beam of moonlight weaves through the drawn curtains, and falls on the cold stone floor. Like an abandoned warehouse in a barren countryside, all is still in the room, and foreign, and silent.
Suddenly. There's a low creak coming from the bed. A soft thud as a foot lands on the floor. One foot, then another. A click, then a flame bursts to life, wavering and flickering like an unsteady dandelion in a torrent. The lone figure and his candle make their way to the table that stands on three legs in the corner, on the verge of collapse. So is the chair, crooked and rotten.
He sits down, sighs. Allen picks up his pen, and bends over to collect his notebook from the floor. Flips open to a page half-written on. Pen hesitant over the paper, as if nearly scared of the endless possibilities.
"TALK TO CORPORATE! LIKE A BOSS! APPROVE-"
"Shit!" Allen swears aloud, before slapping his mouth. Probably no one's up at this unearthly hour, and he doesn't want to disturb anyone (or make them disturb him).
The music continues.
"REMEMBER BIRTHDAYS! LIKE A BOSS!"
Allen dives for the phone by his bedside, and angrily flips it open.
"WHAT!" he shouts, before clamping his mouth shut again at the noise he's made.
It's Lavi. Wait, someone's up at this time?
"ALLEN! Wanna go to Lenalee's room? Lenalee and I are here all bored, so we're kinda hosting a party like, right now, and we're asking Miranda and Krory and Kanda and all, and we're gonna get our hard saved beer from Lenalee's secret drawer, and-"
"Lavi. Could you repeat everything again, and slower?"
He does that.
"Sooooo can you make it?" Lavi squeals, as a door opens in the background and Miranda's voice can be heard, talking to someone.
"Sorry, Lavi..." Allen looks to his table and the stationary that lay on it, begging to be used. "I've got a... prior engagement."
"At this time? Well, what is it?" Lavi shouts, and Allen winces. A bottle's heard popping, as cheers fill the room.
"It's a... secret?" he meekly replies.
The cheers stop for a moment, and there is a slight commotion in the background.
A faraway voice, sounding vaguely like Lenalee's, says, "Don't worry, Kanda's on it."
Once Allen hears that, he hastily disconnects the call, throws the phone on his bed and activates the Crown Clown. A second later, Kanda crashes through the door and lands softly on his feet.
Sword and arm clash against each other, and the room is their battlefield. They lunge back and forth, light on their feet, swiftly turning in rhythm, like a dance, but then again not so. They don't even pant. They experiment with fighting on different levels, focus on their co-ordination and catching the other off timing. They imagine being in the training room. And even though the room is definitely smaller and more confined, the two still go at each other, just taking care to slow down a little, and be more aware about the space around them. Their skin moistens with sweat, and their muscles are warmed up enough for a full-fledged fight anytime. Bring on the akumas.
But they're interrupted by...
"LOCK EYES, FROM ACROSS THE ROOM-"
Kanda groans, and looks around for his phone, which he misplaced during the fight.
Allen's eyes light up. "You listen to The Lonely Island?" he says, clapping his hands together. "They're awesome, right?"
"Che."
"MAKE MY WAY THROUGH THE SMOKING CROWD,"
Kanda finds his phone, and furiously snaps it open.
"WHAT!"
Allen amusedly recalls such a scene just minutes ago - instead of Kanda, it's himself.
The dark haired man-girl mutters a few words into the phone, and strides over to Allen's table. Realising what's on it, Allen starts panicking, breaking into a frenzy.
"K-kanda, what are you doing?" Allen blusters, waving his skinny arms in front of his table, but they're of no use, because Kanda towers above Allen and can see everything in plain view.
A smirk crosses Kanda's face.
"Che, usagi," Kanda talks into the phone as he throws Allen a proud look, "Apparently, our dear, very little moyashi writes
fanfiction."
Allen watches his life flash before his eyes.
Kanda is still grinning (extremely annoyingly and extremely astonishingly), and very soon, Lavi and the troop burst into Allen's room, paying no heed to the broken door that they trample on.
"ALLENNNN-CHAN! WHAT'S THIS ABOUT FANFICTION?"
"Why's it so dark in here, anyway?" Lenalee notes, as she presses on the light switch by the door frame.
Instantly, everyone winces at the sudden light.
"Shh," Miranda taps Lavi's shoulder lightly, in her attempt to calm him down. "We don't want to wake the others,"
"But isn't everyone awake now, anyway?" Lavi replies, jumping around the room like a hyperactive... bunny. Kanda has a knack for these sort of names.
"Komui." Lenalee whispers, her hand clutching the curtain that she'd been drawing open. "Oh god, Komui."
Everyone freezes.
"Damn it!" Lenalee curses, biting her lip. "Because if nii-chan finds out that I'm up at this time when I should have been sleeping five hours ago, and he sees me with all of you, ESPECIALLY Lavi, he's not going to be happy, and..."
She lets out a colourful string of curses that Allen's never imagined her even thinking of.
"Hey, where's Krory?" Miranda pipes up, looking worriedly around the room.
Just as the words leave her mouth, Krory bursts in, panting but smiling a little. "I locked Komui's door," he says, leaning against the wall. "So he won't be able to crash the party. And you know that Komui usually can't wake up anyway no matter what circumstance."
"Except for news of Lenalee's marriage."
"Well, that's the only exception."
Everyone relaxes, and then remember the purpose of their visit, and catch Allen before he creeps out of the door with his notebook tucked under his arm. Krory pushes the chair forward, Lavi forces Allen on it, Kanda uses rope to bind Allen to the chair, Miranda switches of the lights, and Lenalee shines her torch right into Allen's face.
And in his mind, Allen guesses that this has been rehearsed.
WHAT HAPPENED THE DAY BEFORE.
"GUYS! STOP FOOLING AROUND!" Lenalee screamed, standing on her bed, with her hand firmly grasped to her clipboard. Miranda was clutching her stomach in laughter as Lavi tied Kanda's long ponytail to the chair that was being used. Kanda, in a fit of anger, started chasing Lavi...until he felt the tug of the wooden recliner on his hair.
Krory had to hold Kanda back as he swore that he'd get revenge someday, and it was only after Lenalee hit Kanda on his head with her clipboard, that things got back to order.
"SO! We all know that Allen's hiding something. Thus, we have to refine our skills of interrogation - make him feel intimidated into telling us the truth. Right? SO! Krory, you get the chair, and we'll get you, Lavi, to get him to sit down."
Kanda, who was simmering in the corner, said, "And I get to tie up the moyashi."
"Yeah, Yuu-chan, you want him all to himself, don't you," Lavi smirked, as Kanda furiously drew Mugen and challenged Lavi's hammer to a duel. Right there and then, in Lenalee's room.
"LAVI! KANDA! STOP FIGHTING! NOW! I MEAN IT!" And it took another five minutes before they got back to business.
"SHEESH! Krory, you get the chair, Lavi, you get Allen to sit, Kanda, you tie up Allen, Miranda, you switch off the lights, and I'll get the torch. Sounds good?"
"Err, Lenalee-chan," Miranda nervously twirled her locks, "you don't think we're being too mean to Allen-kun, are we?"
"Oh, don't worry about that, Miranda," Lenalee breezily said, as her innocent smile morphed into a cruel grin.
"NOW, WE PRACTISE!"
And it took another 3 hours to get the timing right.
"Any last words?" Lenalee narrows her eyes and tries to look mysterious, while Miranda's at her side, taking notes.
"Erm yeah, a question. Did you guys rehearse this?"
Kanda, in his emo corner, scoffs. "Yeah."
Allen laughs, and tries to clap his hands (but can't because the ropes are restricting his arms from movement). "I knew it!" he proudly says. "I just had a feeling."
Lavi smothers his giggle with his hand. "I would call it women's intuition, just that Allen isn't a woman."
"OI! LAVI!"
"GUYS! SHUT UP! WE HAVE AN INVESTIGATION GOING ON!" Lenalee exasperatedly shouts, and glares fiercely at Krory, who's in a corner falling asleep, and Kanda, who's in another corner, also falling asleep.
"Back to you, Allen. So tell me, what is it that is in your notebook? Remember, anything that you say may be used against you in court."
"You got that from CSI, didn't you," Kanda sits in his meditation pose on the floor and lazily watches the ant that scutters up the white-washed wall.
"Shut up, Kanda. So, Allen?"
"I'm hungry."
Chicken curry, lasagne, beef stew, salad, rice, a meat pie, fried chicken, beancurd, grilled potatoes, grilled tomatoes, grilled zucchini, grilled carrots, flat noodles, cream pasta, crab, prawns, chocolate bread, roast beef, tacos, hamburgers, pudding and 20 sticks of mitarashi dango later, Allen rubs his stomach contentedly, the meal having quelled his hunger. Since all the rest of them know that within about two hours, he's going to be hungry again, they hurry Allen back to his room, where the interrogation process repeats itself.
Miranda's turned off the lights in the room again, for the whole mysterious effect.
"So, Allen?" Lenalee sneers, while Allen closes his eyes to escape from the piercingly bright torch. "ALLEN! DON'T FALL ASLEEP!"
"Argh, Lenalee, I'm not sleeping! Sheesh!" he replies, annoyed at having to tell them what he was doing. Why did they even have to find out, in the first place? "Yeah, I was writing fanfiction, okay! Seriously..."
"WHAT CATEGORY?" the fearsome lady booms, and Allen jumps a little in his chair, only he's tied down to it.
"mmpphhmbblee" The accused one shifts in his chair, uncomfortable, eyes moving right to left like pendulums, lips pressed together in annoyance.
"SPEAK. UP." Lenalee growls.
"FINE, MANGA, OKAY?" he spurts out, vigorously flailing his head in all directions, as if to rid his mind of some unwanted memories.
Kanda holds Allen's head in place, and Lenalee wants more details.
"WHAT. MANGA." she bellows.
"ライアーゲーム, DAMMIT!" he bellows back.
Lenalee and the others attempt to process this Japanese phrase in their heads, and Kanda, being the one from Japan, translates it fluently;
"Liar Game?"
and Lenalee's eyes brighten with recognition;
"LIAR GAME?"
and Allen raises an eyebrow with perfect finesse;
"Liar Game."
Lenalee pauses, hesitates, and signals to Miranda to turn on the lights, and everyone cowers at the awfully blindingly bright light. Lavi fumbles with the ropes that tie Allen to the chair, and Allen stumbles out, gets used to the feeling of his limbs again.
Krory, Kanda, Miranda and Lavi then retreat to the wall, whipping out their own electronic devices and prepare to be staying there for a very long time. Krory even passes out headphones, not really for music, but just to block out the sound of Lenalee's fangirling. Because everyone knows that once Lenalee starts, she can't stop.
"Wait, so you read Liar Game too?" Allen's surprised, because Liar Game's a seinen manga, not a shojo, and well, Lenalee just seems like the type of person to read shojo manga.
"OF COURSE! It's my favourite manga like of all time! AND YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON I KNOW TO LIKE IT! KYAAAAAAAAAAA~!"
In the corner of the room, the four people attached to their electronic devices are very thankful for the headphones.
However, Allen is not so lucky.
"Lenalee, please, calm down..." he says, while rubbing his poor damaged ears.
"I CAN'T! Not when I've FINALLY FOUND someone who actually KNOWS LIAR GAME!" and Lenalee breaks into another high-pitched squeal. "LET'S TALK ABOUT THE FAN FIC THAT YOU'RE WRITING, THEN!"
MSN MESSENGER
Kanda is available.
Krory is available.
Miranda is available.
Lavi may not reply because his or her status is now set to Away.
Miranda: Where's Lavi? :)
Krory: i think he's playing maple story. i can see the screen from here.
Kanda: Che. Baka usagi.
Krory: so you guys all had nothing else 2 do?
Miranda: Kind of. ^^ I forgot to bring my DS cartridge. D:
Kanda: ...I got bored of playing Snake.
Miranda: Hahas! :) Yeah, that game gets a little boring after a while. :P
Kanda: Stop with the emoticons.
Miranda: Now now, Kanda, don't be so bad. :(
Krory: anyone know what allen-kun and lenalee-chan are talking about?
Miranda: It'll probably just be Liar Game still. LOL. :D
Kanda: Knowing Lenalee, I think so.
Lavi is available.
Lavi: hey guyz! :{D
Miranda: Hi, Lavi! :D What's with the mustache, by the way? xD
Lavi: ahaha nothing! they are cool. :{D
Kanda: ...baka usagi.
Lavi: YUU! :{D
Kanda: BAKA USAGI, I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT.
Krory: this is kinda boring.
Lavi: no it isn't! :{D
Miranda: Well, what should we talk about? :)
Krory: um, pokemon? ROFL
Lavi: MY FAVOURITE POKEMON IS BULBASAUR! :{D WHAT ABOUT YOU, YUU-CHAN?
Kanda appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in.
Lavi: YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-CHAN! D}:
Meanwhile, Lenalee's taken on the role of being Allen's co-writer.
"What's your plot for your fanfic, anyway?" Lenalee asks, reaching over to get her Macbook that she happened to bring into the room.
"Oh, I'm making it a humor story," Allen replies, chewing musedly on his bottom lip. "Yokoya meets Akiyama in a shopping mall."
The brunette types it all down. "So, what tense is it gonna be in? Who's perspective? I think third person perspective would be best. Timeline? What's exactly happening during this fic? How does it end? Any pairings? What's the conflict? Which part of the shopping mall? Any other characters introduced? Is the Liar Game still ongoing or already over? Liar Game manga or drama?"
"Erm..." he has to consider. "I was thinking it to be in present tense. Third person would be great. I'm not so sure about the timeline. I won't really put in any romance because I'm not good at that. It's just Akiyama and Yokoya in the story, and I don't think I'll mention any other characters. Liar Game's still ongoing, I guess? And it's the manga. Oh, and I'm going to centre the fic around Yokoya buying new mice."
Lenalee notes Allen's impressive memory, and keeps typing away at the keyboard. "Great. We can play it by ear for the ending, see what comes to us when the time comes. Meanwhile, have you got a fanfiction account?"
Allen pauses.
"What's that?"
Lenalee facepalms.
Hope you enjoyed that chapter!
PLEASE NOTE: Allen and Kanda's ringtones are songs from The Lonely Island; Allen's was Like A Boss, and Kanda's was Jizz In My Pants. Also, do bear in mind that Yokoya and Akiyama are characters from Liar Game, and Yokoya has a mice fetish.
Reviews would be nice... who am I kidding, I LIVE ON REVIEWS. But I am deeply honoured by the fact that so many people viewed my story - one even favourited it on the first day (thank you Liquid Twilight!).
NEXT CHAPTER: Lenalee introduces Allen to the fanfiction world! :D