Part One: Slow Your Breath Down, Just Take It Slow

I dream of dreaming dreams of her - in twilight she's a constant blur
The picture is clear and I'm still fact she's fiction

Haley's garden had bloomed beautifully with the increasingly gorgeous weather Tree Hill was being graced with. Dean and Haley decided on taking up shop in an old abandoned house, fixing it up and making it their own. Sam of course shared the house with them, having made a section strictly for him. It was the perfect place for them to rest and recuperate before heading off for another hunt. Haley had envisioned having a small, beautiful flower garden much like her mother Lydia had, so she made it a reality. Haley had been staying home more often and leaving the boys to hunt. Haley had her job still in Karen's Café, only now she was a co-owner with her friend Brooke Davis. It was the same place she worked since she was a kid; it was her home.

The residue of the sickly alcohol reeked in the entire house; that was the perfect way Haley could tell her boys were truly home. She knew the weight of the hunting life, and the emotional toll it took on a person, which was the reason why she never complained about Sam, Dean or Bobby drinking; she knew they felt they needed it. The sour aroma was making Haley's insides flip and twist, and her nose scrunch up. Her brows furrowed as the stench grew more intense with the closeness of her proximity to a half-drunk bottle of Whiskey. Haley's fingers curled around the bottle and shoved it into a large garbage bag in her other hand. She'd done more cleaning since the boys returned; another way she could be sure they were back…Dean at least.

Loud gulps sounded from Dean as he chugged down a beer; Sam mimicked his brother, only gentler. No one could guzzle down alcohol quite like Dean could without getting easily drunk. Sam often found himself mesmerized, just sitting in disbelief at how much Dean could just drink without it affecting him. Sam's head casually shook, his hair swaying with the movement. Dean finally put down the bottle, eyes catching Sam's expression. "What?" Dean asked unknowing.

"Dude, how much have you drank?" Sam's curiosity took charge; but it was also concern in his voice; the same concern Haley harbored. Sam knew better than anyone Dean could drink himself into the ground without question.

"…You mean today or in general? Because that's probably higher than I can count..." Dean's trademark wit came out anytime he sensed a lecture or a deep heart-to-heart brewing in the works.

Sam scoffed and continued shaking his head. "Man, you're pissing Haley off." Sam stated. He was Dean's brother true enough, he bared an obligation to him to inform him of things, but he was also Haley's best friend and bared an obligation to her too, to protect her heart. Sam could tell how much the amount of liquor Dean drank had Haley worried, even if she'd never admit to it.

"She hasn't said anything to me." Dean shrugged mindlessly.

"Do you honestly think she would? She knows why you are, she's not gonna pry on it and make you feel worse than you already do." Sam's words were itching under Dean's skin; he had to brush this subject off.

"Unlike you, my pain-in-the-ass conscious who doesn't mind prying into something that's not his business." Dean retorted.

"If I'm your conscious then it is my business, Dean." Sam smirked satisfied. Dean just made a face and grumbled as he raised the bottle back up to his lips. His hesitation to take a sip caught Sam's attention and sent his head turning over his shoulder to see what Dean was looking at. The warm sun's rays danced off Haley's body illuminating her golden tan and setting her blonde hair on fire with flares of red and orange.

Haley's freshly cleaned hands draped an old white-lace cloth over the center table. Her hands smoothed out the ruffles so it'd look perfect. She smiled as she took hold of an antique vase and placed it in the center of the table. The vase was special to her; it was a gift from her mother. In the vase were the fresh-picked flowers she pulled from her new garden. A cluster of flowers, all different colors and types, each one made Haley's smile brighter. A smile found Sam's face without him even realizing it, it came naturally when Haley smiled; her smile was contagious. He turned back to Dean who carelessly set his half-empty bottle of beer back down on the rundown table, and rose from his chair.

Sam took a sip of his beer with a smirk as Dean quietly snuck up behind Haley. They were adorable when they wanted to be, but it didn't mean Sam wanted to see it. Sam scratched the back of his head as he made his way for the backdoor. Haley sucked in a surprised breath as she felt warm hands wrapping around her stomach and hot, stained air steaming on the back of her exposed neck. Haley's nose nuzzled Dean's as they collided. The scruff on Dean's face tickled Haley with their actions. Her delicate giggles sent Dean's heart skipping and made his breath abruptly fall into standstill. The sight of Haley's tongue quickly sweeping across her lips to rejuvenate them stole Dean's air. A fire crawled under his skin, a longing to feel her lips with his own.

The light nibbling on her lower lip was the last straw for Dean; he couldn't hold this need in him any longer. His fingers traced her cheek and cupped her chin, lifting her head up. Honey and Emerald eyes clashed, each holding a lustful aching in them. Haley's mouth popped open a little; she was unable to keep it closed as she saw the crushing sight of one of the very few men she trusted completely with her heart. Without thought they moved closer in so their lips could touch. It didn't even feel as though they directed traffic, it was gravity pulling them in, guiding them to where they belonged. The heat radiating from their bodies intensified as Dean's tongue skillfully massaged Haley's. The faint moan escaping between breaths from Haley sent a fulfilled smirk curving on the edge of Dean's busy lips. His smirk shot into an amazed smile as he felt Haley's tongue returning the massage with a technique of her own.

Haley's hands gripped the back of Dean's neck roughly, not enough to hurt him, just enough to make him feel her. Dean's hand slipped into Haley's hair, tangling in her golden locks. His other hand fell to her lower back, covering the same place her 'tramp stamp' was. The boys insisted she get the same demon protection tattoo they had after she made it clear her place was beside them. Heavy pants hit Haley's face as Dean took a breather. Their foreheads touched as their eyes stayed closed, sucking in and savoring each other's own unique scent.

Remember the night you were with me - fell asleep by my side
Strangers together - your hand in mine
How come we never came closer when all the stars were aligned?
I thought we had a moment

After taking a few minutes to calm down Haley pulled her head back from Dean's. Her big brown eyes sparkled at him as she smiled with pleasure and desire. The ringing of the phone was the only thing stopping them both from ripping each other's clothes off piece by piece. Haley sighed as she offered Dean one last smile before breaking their embrace and snatching the phone to stifle the horrible tone. Dean's head hung over his shoulders as his hand wiped the moistness from his lips. With a heavy breath Dean headed towards the bathroom. He noted it was Jo on the phone, so he knew Haley would be on there for a while.

Since meeting the Winchesters Haley had made some wonderful friends. Friendships have wedged their way into her heart, ones she'd defend with her life. Jo happened to be one of those close friends; she had become like a sister to her. It wasn't easy at first. In the beginning they fought over Dean, but eventually Jo saw the love between them and came to accept it for what it was. After a lot of work, Jo and Haley grew closer with each hunt. The laughing from Haley could be heard several rooms over, still with the distance and not knowing what they were amused by Dean couldn't help but chuckle to himself. As Dean shuffled through all the lotions and shampoos on the counter to try and find his razor his eyes caught the trashcan. His eyes were dead-fixed on it and heart went still as if something life changing was laying in there.

With a forced swallow of saliva Dean bent himself over and shoved his hand into the bin. Pushing past tissues, Dean pulled out a pregnancy test. As he straightened himself out he gripped it tighter and tighter. He felt a sudden anger stirring in the pit of his stomach. Dean's chest heaved in and out as the anger growled inside of him. His head hung low as he stalked back out into the foyer where he previously left Haley. Just as he arrived Haley sat the phone down, having finished her conversation with Jo. The smiles on Haley's face immediately disappeared upon seeing Dean's manner and what he held in his hand. "Something you wanna tell me?" Emotions were thick on Dean's speech as he raised his head, eyes striking Haley's with purpose.

"Dean, don't panic…" Haley started up. But before she could finish and explain Dean cut her off, his voice raising.

"Don't panic?" He chuckled. His chuckles weren't pleasant, they were sending shivers down Haley's back. "Okay then…" Dean smirked and threw the test against the wall with force as his anger broke free. His actions made Haley jump with startle as it hit the wall with a high-pitched clack. "When should I panic? In nine months? That is the going rate for how long it takes until you should fall into hysteria, right!" Dean roared.

Haley's legs were becoming weak with fear from how upset he was. As intimidating as Dean could be Haley wouldn't let any fear show; her own fire wouldn't allow it. "How long did you think you could keep something like this from me?" Dean's voice was eerily low.

As soon as he asked that question Haley's own rage surfaced. "Keep it from you! I just took the test a few days ago, Dean." She snapped back. "And if you bothered to pull your head out of your ass you'd of seen that it was negative. I'm not pregnant." Her emotions grew thicker with each word. It was clear his outburst stung her where it hurt the most. "You're acting as if I was trying to trap you or something; like I was the only one there. Need I remind you it takes two to play that game, and two people who neglected to use protection the last time they were intimate together."

Haley stomped over to the chair by the table where her flowers were and grabbed her purse with more force than required. "How dare you. How dare you." Haley repeated while looking at Dean. His accusing eyes died out and it suddenly hit him just how much of an ass he was being to her.

"Where are you going?" His tone was more even now, but still shaky.

Haley stopped and turned around as her hand rested on the doorknob. Her eyes held tears on them. "Would it have been the worst thing in the world to share a life with me, Dean?" Her fractured voice stung Dean's ears and sliced his heart as she walked out of the house without a look back. Dean slumped back, leaning against the wall, left alone to ponder everything that just happened.

I dream of dreaming dreams of her - in twilight she's a constant blur
The picture is clear and I'm still fact she's fiction
I seem to miss the missing part; she's still my favorite work of art
The picture is clear and I'm still fact she's fiction

Haley's eyes gazed out into nothing as her hands aimlessly sifted through the summer apparel in the store. Ellen sighed as she watched Haley. Unable to take anymore of her distance Ellen walked over to Haley's side and spoke in a gentle tone. "Tell me again, what happened?" Haley had told Ellen over lunch the argument between her and Dean, but she was vague about it.

Haley snapped back into the zone as Ellen's question reached her radar. With a grave breath and shrug of her shoulders Haley answered. "Dean found a pregnancy test I took a few days ago." Her voice was so low it was practically a whisper.

"Haley, you're not..." Ellen's entire profile developed more serious with suspicion. She knew better than anyone the surprises that could come along in life, her own daughter Jo having been a surprise. Jo wasn't a plan, but she was a gift.

"No." A hint of disappointment was marked in Haley's response. A part of her thought it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. "But Dean thought I was, and he lost it." Haley shook her head as she saw flashes of his outburst screaming back to her. She had her own set of fears on the subject of having a family of her own, but it was Dean's that she feared most.

Ellen slouched back down as her sudden panic calmed down. Her hand found its way to Haley's back, patting it slowly to comfort her. "I'm sorry, honey. But you have to understand with this life...that type of reaction is to be expected." Having her own personal experience Ellen felt justified in telling Haley how it was. She could remember clearly how scared her William was upon finding out she was pregnant with Jo.

"Yeah, I guess." Haley knew she was right. She'd seen things, done things, she lived a life a huge part of her could never fathom bringing an innocent child into. But that didn't take away the stinging in her chest. "But you didn't see him, Ellen. It was like I was asking him to be a father to a demon or something. He just really freaked out." As often as she played out the possible scene in her head she always imagined Dean freaking out, like he was vindicated in doing, but she never imagined such a harsh reaction to creating life.

"I know it's not easy, but you can't really blame Dean. Not with this life. It's not fair to you, I know that…but you love the man, so you have to learn to sacrifice for the life." Ellen's words were truthful. They sat strong on Haley as she took them to heart. Ellen was her role model in the hunting life, so any advice from her was something significant to hold on to. "Can you imagine raising a kid in this crap-hole?" Ellen shook her head and chuckled as she wedged her hand in between colorful shirts.

"You did. And by my count Jo turned out pretty damn good." Haley offered her an encouraging smile. To be the wife of a hunter, to be a hunter, to have a daughter for a hunter, and to be an entrepreneur was something amazing. Ellen was kind, intelligent, and strong. She reminded Haley so much of her own mother. Lydia and Ellen were different, Lydia was more laidback and free-spirited, whereas Ellen was intense and fiercely protective. But each had the same grace and strength which is what reminded Haley so much of them.

A smile couldn't be fought on Ellen's face. Compliments weren't easily found when surrounded by drunken grumpy men on a daily basis. Ellen stood silent for a moment, taking in the reassurance that she had done an okay job with her daughter; and she searched for a way to lend Haley some support. "Dean will come around. Give him time, sweetie. When it comes down to it, he'll make the right call." Ellen flashed an enforced, bright smile to the girl she considered an adopted daughter. Haley didn't put us a fuss, if Ellen had faith in Dean, she was going to have it too.

Nothing has changed 'cause I'm still fact - she's fiction
Or I may be imperfectly formed in this contradiction

As the day dragged on it gave Dean and Haley more time to reflect on their life was and what it could be like, but also what was stopping its growth. They hadn't seen nor spoken a word to each other since the fight early that morning, and the space between them only swelled as the time rolled on. The sky's color was beginning to fade out into a deep blue, signaling the end of the day was near. Haley loved this spot. This was a small, hidden area her and Dean had found together. The tall oak trees and rocks hid it perfectly. This was their spot. It was the very place they shared their first kiss together. This was the one location they could be sure to find each other.

Haley's bare feet grazed the grass as she swung her leg slowly from side to side. As it came in contact with the grass Haley's toes gripped the tips, taking the grass with her. She loved to do this as she was thinking; it cleared her mind. The crisp evening breeze sent tremors through Haley as it touched her bare skin. Her soft fingers rubbed up and down her arms to try and bring her skin some warmth. Haley would have been startled had she not felt the familiarity of the presence coming up behind her. Her head lifted up and body tensed, she didn't know if she were in for another fight or not. Dean's boots pushed stones out of the way and flung dirt in the air as he walked. Haley's face coming into his eye line made butterflies flutter in his stomach. He wasn't good at speeches or apologies, he didn't not if she'd only get more upset or if he'd say the right thing and she's end up understanding his side.

A deep exhale forced its way past Dean's semi-closed lips as he leaned himself against a large rock just in front of Haley. He could tell she didn't want to argue, but she was ready for one if that's what he wanted. "Hey." His voice was gritty and deep, but rang evenly in Haley's ears as opposed to the last tone she heard from him.

"Hi." Haley's sad whisper-like voice caused Dean to realize it truly wasn't anger she held since the morning, it was pain. He knew the life Haley grew up in; being around tons of family and friends, and how that molded her into the kind, gentle, free-spirited person she was today. He also knew how much she did yearn for that kind of life now. Not a big family, but just a family; a home. She wanted one with Dean. He knew since the moment they became serious this subject would rise one day, he never could prepare for it though.

"I'm an ass." Dean said flat-out. He was blunt and truthful; he didn't know how to say it any other way. He called it like he saw it. His arms opened and flung into the air as if to make a shrug clear. There was no denying it; everyone was thinking it, including him, so he might as well say it.

"Yeah, just a little." Haley nodded with agreement. She felt the urge to smile, but she rejected the sensation to make her point clear. Though, the amusement in her voice couldn't be hidden. This was a serious matter and Haley wasn't going to let Dean's humor ruin her questions that had been brewing for a long time to be answered.

Dean too wanted to smirk, but he thought it might disappoint Haley and confirm he wasn't taking the situation seriously – which he was. "…Look-"Dean scrambled for a way to begin this conversation, though he was soon to figure out there was no possible way to ease into it.

"Does it really repulse you that much, Dean? The thought of sharing a family with me?" Haley asked with honest curiosity. She wasn't trying to trick him or hoping for the answer any woman would long for, what she wanted was the truth. She wanted to know if their relationship, all they've been working for was leading to something bigger, or if this was all there was in the cards for them. A hunter's life didn't give much leeway for anything, but she's seen families, a way of life against the grain in Dean's world, and if they could do it she wondered why she and Dean couldn't.

"What? No." Dean's brow kinked as he answered quickly to hush Haley's doubts. He wanted to go there with her, but after being raised by a father who neglected him, a mother who died for him, and a brother who sacrificed everything to stay with him, he doubted he could ever get to that point with anyone and do it right. His two grandest fears were to not be/do enough, and that once what goes bump in the night figured out that Haley and their family was his kryptonite that'd be the end of it all. Such brutal, painful finality would have anyone thinking twice and asking themselves if it would be worth it; dragging people so special to you down in the pit with you just for the sake of selfishness.

"Then why did you blow up back there like that?" Haley felt she could understand Dean's reason if he took the time to explain it to her. She already knew he was afraid, afraid for their safety and why he was, but she knew that others shared the same fears but dealt with it and were brave and strong about it. She needed to know why it was so different for Dean.

Dean stayed silent for a moment, just looking at Haley. Sharing wasn't his strong suit. He rarely let people inside and witness him pouring his heart out, it just wasn't his style. But if he didn't this time he felt he could damage his relationship so bad with Haley that he might lose a piece of her he could never win back; and that just was too great of a risk for him to take. With a lick of his lips Dean shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and took a deep sniff of the air. "My mom died when I was still just a kid. My Dad tried to raise me and Sam. He did what he could, but he didn't know how to be a father; not with what he'd seen. He knew hunting. That's it. When I look at my life, the idea of having a kid scares me."

"Why?" Haley gently pressed. She understood how much she was asking from Dean; she was asking him to break down his greatest defense and let her fully into his heart, a place where only one woman had ever been before. She tried to be as delicate as possible, even though she knew it wouldn't help Dean with this struggle.

"Here I am, Dean Winchester: Wearing dad's coat, driving dad's car, barking dad's orders, living dad's life. I'm my father. When I think about kids, I realize how screwed up I am." Haley could feel a weight coming down on her chest, an undeniable guilt for making Dean go through this. She never wanted him to tear himself down. "You don't need to try and pretend and say something to make me feel better about that, Hales." Dean dismissed Haley as soon as he saw her lips parting to speak. "I know I've got issues. My dad had 'em too. Only, he took his out on me. He didn't know it, but he did."

Dean said as his eyes gazed out into the horizon. The sky was growing darker as each second passed; the blue was almost completely gone now. Haley's eyes shut closed as she finally grasped just why the thought of having an offspring scared him so much. "You're afraid you'll take yours out on our kid just like John did to you…" Dean nodded to Haley, answering her though it wasn't a question. His eyes never went back to her; he was unable to muster up enough courage to face them. "Dean-"Haley tried to speak but Dean didn't want to hear comforting words.

"S'okay, Hales." Dean replied simply, emotion solidifying on his breath.

"Dean." Haley repeated again, only firmer. She was going to speak now and nothing Dean could say or do would silence her. Haley stood up from the rock she was sitting on and moved a few feet closer to Dean. "Dean, look at me." Haley demanded. As he felt Haley moving closer to him all he wanted was to turn away, go anywhere but where she was, anywhere he could be alone. He hated the vulnerability. But he granted Haley her wish. As his head turned to face Haley an instant pain hit her chest like a punch. His broken emerald eyes were the saddest thing she'd ever seen; and it broke her heart to see just how fragile Dean truly was.

"You're not alone." Haley stated with so much confidence and honesty it threw Dean aback. Haley's hand reached for Dean's. Dean's fingers instinctively curled around Haley's without him realizing until he saw it. "We're all damaged. Not just the hunters, but every person in the world. No matter how hard everyone tries, life ends up damaging us all. Whether it is by making bad choices, bad things happening to us, or harsh words thrown at us; life has its own way of injuring us all."

"Some take it out on others. Others keep it in them until they explode. But we all make mistakes and end up hurting those we try so hard to protect. Life...it isn't something you can read about in a book; even though there are books out there." Dean found a smirk forcing itself on his face as he began feeling less vulnerable by her side. Haley had this special way about her, a way to mend even the most out of order pieces in Dean's soul.

"It's a learning process. A parent learns and grows just as their child does. You hurt each other. You make mistakes together. You do it all together. And in my books you're already a good father." Haley finally allowed her smile to shine at the end of her sermon.

"How?" Dean asked, dumbfounded. He was no father, not in his eyes. How could she see those qualities in him when he wasn't one?

"You practically raised Sam." Haley didn't need to say anymore after that. It was all Dean needed to hear. It was the truth. He raised Sam since he was a baby. He was both brother and father to him.

Though she knew a continuance wasn't called for, she continued on anyway. "And I defy you to tell me that you screwed that boy up; that he's less somehow because of you. You did a good job on him, Dean. And he's done a good job on you. It's because of him you know how to care so deeply and be so protective, the same protectiveness and love that keeps everyone alive. You grew and learned just as Sam did. Team effort." Haley squeezed Dean's hand to emphasize her support.

The sight of Dean's disbelieving smile had Haley's heart filling with pride. She felt it without words; words were no longer needed. She had Dean open his wounds for her to see. She didn't heal them - she knew she couldn't do that - but she did get to clean them temporarily. It didn't take away his fears about being a father, or messing up, but it made him feel less alone about it, knowing if he screwed up, he wasn't the only one to. "If...When the day comes, you really think we could pull something like that off?" Dean gaped into Haley's eyes, hoping for substantiation.

"We're a team, right? We win together and we lose together. It's not easy, but the struggle is worth it." Haley's big coffee eyes filled with so much emotion in knowing that when it came down to it, Dean wouldn't abandon her, just like Ellen had assured her. Dean couldn't stop the smiling; it rushed out of him like joy on Christmas morning. He didn't ruin any part of Haley. He was so afraid that once she saw how ripped up he was inside she'd tuck tail and run, like most would have. But she didn't. She was true to him, to his heart, and was going to stick by him at all costs.

Dean bit his bottom lip, trying to hold back the strength of his grin. His tone was more typical now, gritty but even. "I know it's kinda odd timing but, I found this and thought you'd like it." Dean freed his hand from Haley's and pulled out a small purple/yellow flower. Haley's eyes sparkled as she saw it. Memories and emotions of happier and easier times came flooding back to her. This very type of flower was here in this spot the day they decided on facing the world together.

"No. It's the perfect time." Haley's heart swelled, feeling larger now then it was before; more filled with love. Dean flashed her his trademark smirk, one he'd been dying to let out for a while like a bad itch. Moving in closer, his lips trailed the side of her cheek until they found Haley's lips. Taking her lips in his mouth, they moved, synchronizing with each other.

I fell in love with her longing - let's just say that she never found out
Who it was she never found in me

Night arrived at long last. The day seemed to drag on and on, so Haley was thankful for the end of it. She was all set to relax just as she received a phone call from Brooke letting her know she forgot to close up the store and couldn't make it back over there tonight because of Angie, the baby she was fostering, being sick. Haley understood which came first and was fine with closing up. Sam, the gentleman he is, offered to walk with Haley. They could have taken the Impala easily, but Haley loved to take night walks. It took a weight off of her and the crisp air refreshed her. Sam enjoyed it too.

Throughout the day he'd been filled in on what happened between Dean and Haley, he was just glad they managed to find a common ground with each other and it didn't manifest into something uglier. "Thank you, Sammy." Haley's soft voice filled the street with sincerity.

"For what?" Sam's innocent eyes looked down to his best friend as his shaggy hair bounced along.

"For not asking about everything that happened today. I know you know, but thanks for not asking if I wanted to talk about it." She could tell when Sam was in the loop with something. But one thing she truly loved about him was how he always knew how she'd feel and what she'd want.

"Don't mention it. I figured you're kind of tired of talking by now." Sam shot Haley his goofy grin; one that always made her spirits lift up. They were connected by mind; they could tell when the other needed to be left alone. Haley chuckled with playfulness as she nudged Sam, or attempted to at least. Sam spry-fully sidestepped Haley's challenge and lifted his foot up, lightly tapping her rear with it. Sam's laughs couldn't be contained as Haley's mouth fell open with a gasp.

"Oh, that's it, Sasquatch!" Haley exclaimed through her laughs. Instantly she chased after him as he continued to dodge her every move. As he jumped out of the way with haste, Haley was momentarily dazed, just enough time for Sam to run towards her and throw her over his shoulder, taking her off the ground for a ride as he ran. Their childish laughs had the entire residential street turning their lights on and peaking through their windows.

Nothing has changed 'cause I'm still fact - she's fiction
Or I may be imperfectly formed in this contradiction...