Disclaimer I sadly do not own Victorious. Also this is my first fan fic so please don't hate me?

For The Nights I Don't Remember

I watch as Vega takes the shot and downs it. That's maybe her 8th tonight not that I'm watching or anything. The guys cheer while Cat watches us shaking her head. She doesn't approve says we make bad decisions when we're drunk. I', on my fourth glass of Jim beam. I watch Vega from my position on the wall. I love her. I really do but hell if I'd let anyone know. Then again who would. I treat her like shit but to me she's the most beautiful thing out there. Robbie's staring her down. I do not like that look in his eye. I grab her arm and lead her to her room. I hear Beck say "Oh come on Jade what the hell? We're just having some fun!" We're halfway up the stairs and I'm not turning back.

We broke up two hours ago and now he's hitting on her constantly. She however didn't return any of his advances and didn't even bat an eye at him. She shut down his game at every turn. When we get in her room she turns to me. "Jade! What's wrong?" Why does she think something's wrong with me? I feel something drip onto my chest. I place a hand to my cheek and feel the tears. I'm crying.

"I...I don't know..."She pulls me close in a crushing hug. I relax against her hold. It's nice to be here. She smells sweet but not too sweet. It's appealing. Her skin is warm and so soft. I sigh against her neck.

"Don't worry I'm here for you." I grip her shoulders to look into her eyes. Why?

"Why? Why do you put up with my bullshit? I'm not worth what I put you through! Why would you want to be my friend?"

"You are worth it. You're my friend. Why won't you let me in? Why are you so afraid to just trust me?" She wipes the tears from my cheek and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I don't want to cry. I hate crying! I just don't know Tori! I guess I don't want to get hurt. I can't help but feel something for you! You're always in my head! I can't help but stare at you. You're fucking gorgeous! I love you ok? I fucking love you! I don't know why or what to do and it scares me. The way you make me feel scares me." She lifted my chin. She had tears down her face and gives me this sweet small smile. She is beautiful. In that moment I just knew without a doubt I loved her.

"Jade listen to me. I won't hurt you. I promise. I'm always going to be here for you. I think...I think I love you too. Can you try? To just let me in or see where this goes?" I smile slightly and lean in. I kiss her softly and gently. This moment feels so amazing. I pull away to answer her question against her lips.

"Yeah. I'll try." She smiles and we kiss for a long time. Soon we're naked and doing some pretty intense stuff. I feel right. Being her with her. I've never been happier

My head is fucking pounding. I open my eyes and am met with the black walls of my room. Huh? When the hell did I get home? Last I remember I was watching Vega discreetly as she downed those shots. I pop a few aspirin and check my phone. One text from Cat, Beck, and Vega. Cat's is asking me if she wants her to pick me up for school. Beck's is saying sorry and wants to get back together. And Vega...wants to go on a date after school? WHAT THE FUCK? Ok brain it's time to remember WTF happened last night. I text Cat a yeah for the ride, Beck an ok, and I don't bother texting Tori back. I check the time. 5 a.m. Alright time to shower. Why do I smell like sex? Wait do I smell...Tori? Naw I was in her house all night of course I'd smell like her. I hop in the shower then get dressed. I grab my coffee and wait for Cat. She pulls up in her yellow Volkswagen and a small smile is on her face. "So Jade you remember anything from last night? You got really hammered so I had to give you a ride home."

"No I don't. Plus I have the worst fucking hangover. What the hell happened last night?" She shook her head as she made her way to Hollywood Arts. "OH! I have a text from Tori and she asked me on a date. What the fuck is with that?" She's just pulled in to her spot and as she opened her mouth she was cut off as Tori suddenly appeared at my window. I scowl and open the door. Man I hate to be mean but I don't know what else to do. i wish i could say yes but she can't know. "What the fuck do you want Vega?" Her face drops.

"Oh well I was wondering if you got my text?" She looks kinda sad and confused. She looks over at Cat who shrugs her shoulders at her unasked question.

"Vega go play somewhere else. No I don't want to go on a fucking date with you. Why the hell would you think I would?" She looks pissed. Man that's hot.

"What the fuck Jade? Did last night mean anything?" I start to laugh darkly a little.

"What just cause I came over with my friends to drink some booze you think it means something?" It did. "You're as stupid as you look Vega. I have a boyfriend. A very handsome one at that. I don't like girls." I think I just broke her heart with the look she gave me. Cat looks shocked. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! Vega looks even more pissed now.

"YOU'RE UN-FUCKING BELIEVABLE! Was last night just a game to you? To mess with me some more? 'Oh let's take advantage of Tori. She doesn't matter! She just a nothing!' Seriously Jade? Did it not matter? Do I mean anything to you?" Her face was red. She was screaming and I could even comprehend what she was saying. She meant the world to me. What happened last night? What's going on? I took too much time. She's shaking and when she answers it has this hollow finality tone that tells me I just lost the only person I've ever truly cared about. 'You know what? I'm done. I can't do this anymore. Go fuck yourself jade. Go fuck yourself. Leave me the hell alone." She walks away. I feel my heart break. She hates me. I turn to Cat. She looks shocked and runs to me on seeing my face. She hugs me and strokes my hair as the tears fall.

"Come on. We got to talk hun." She puts me back in the car and drives to the park. She turns the car off then turns to me. She takes my hand in hers. "What do you want to know first?"

I am a bitch. It's official. So me and Vega have been a secret ongoing thing when we're drunk. Well that's some piece of news. Oh and just a kicker I told her I loved her and that I'd try. I wish I had remember what happened last night. I lost her. I fucking lost her because I'm stupid and a bitch. Great. Cat drops me off at home because she knows I can't go back there. Not yet. Not without a plan. I lay down on my bed with my i-Pod on high and get lost in the music. Then it hits me. A song. I'll sing a song. But what one? For The Nights I Can't Remember by Hedley comes on and I smile. I text Cat and tell her my plan then go after school to prepare for tomorrow. I fall asleep hopeful that night.

I spring out of bed and can't help but smile. I will win her back. I will. I grab a quick breakfast and get two cups of coffee. One hazelnut with vanilla creamer and sugar for me and French vanilla with vanilla cream and sugar for Tori. I know what she likes. I get to school early and wait. Cat walks up and stands next to me. "So you think she'll let you apologize?" I look down at my adorable red haired best friend. I smile slightly. I sigh and shrug.

"I doubt it but it can't hurt to try can it?" She nodded and gave me a small hug. 'Plus I have a backup plan remember?" She smiled. I look up just as Tori walks in the front door. I take a deep breath. Her goes.

"Good luck!" I smile back at Cat then head toward Tori's locker in which she is scowling at as she puts in her combo. I lean closer than I should have but didn't care.

"Hey Vega I have-" She turns and glares at me. She looks like shit. Damn she's really torn up.

"What do you want cuz I'm really not in the mood right now! Oh wait! You know what?" She slams her locker closed. "I couldn't give two shits anymore Jade! Stay away from me. I mean it. Now fuck off. Goodbye!" She whirls away and I watch her go. I feel a warm hand on my arm.

"Well that went well." I sigh and turn back to Cat. "You want this?" I hold Vega's cup of coffee. She sighs and pulls me toward class. She takes the cup and sips it.

"I'll get the stuff set up. Don't worry Jade you'll get your girl." She winks at me and I let out a small chuckle. Lunch is going to be interesting.

The view from the top eating area is pretty cool. No one's eating up here cuz they're all too wary to be near me. I've been pacing since I heard the bell ring. The Asphalt Cafe is filling with students. I see that familiar red hair bob in the crowd and see beautiful dark wavy hair next to it. After they get food Cat leads her to our usual seats which are right in front of me. Man I hope this is going to work. Everyone's gotten quiet now that they've noticed me. I look down at Cat and Tori. Tori's glaring at me and goes to leave but as planned Cat doesn't let her. Now or never time. I motion to start the music and turn on my mic.

" I see it in the way you would do

When no one else could ever get through

Holding back till I come around

Time and time again you wait for me to come in" That's true. She never showed what was going on even if it was killing her. She was always there when no one else was.

" And did you really look my way
Cause no one could have seen this coming
I would never let you down
If I was running backwards in full time" I made my way down the stairs now. No one could guess what was going on or how I felt about her.

" So I can and I will and you'll see
Your hero come running over and over tonight" I grabbed Tori's hand. Everyone was staring. I love Hedley right now.

" And I do wanna love you
If you see me running back, and I do wanna try
Cause if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time" I started up the steps now.

"Me I'm used to being tired and bloody
But you believed that I could be somebody
You put your world on hold for me
Gave away to follow failure through the fire

I need you to know I will
Believe me, girl, I'm so tired of running
I just wanna hold your hand
Stare at you like you've got everything I need" I sit her at the stool when we make it to the top. She has her back to everyone. She's still got that glare but she is listening. That's all I need. She's been crying and I want to take away the pain.

" And I can, so I will and you'll see
Your hero come running over and over tonight

And I do wanna love you and I do wanna try
Cause if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time

What if I never said to you I was dynamite
What if I never told you I'm afraid to cry
What if I never let you down and said
I'm sorry for the nights I can't remember
What if I never said to you I would try

And I do wanna love you
See me running back and I do wanna try
Because if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time yeah

And I do wanna love you and I do wanna try
Because if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time yeah
Hold back your tears this time oh oh." Though confused everyone broke out into applause. I was unfazed. Tori was simply sitting there. She seemed in-between shocked and mad. Fuck everyone else. It was all about her now. "Tori." the mic was still on but I no longer gave a fuck. I stepped closer to hold her face in my hands. I started to stroke her cheekbones. "I am so sorry. Sorry for acting like I did. Sorry for making promises I didn't keep. For letting you down again. For what I don't remember. I meant what I said." I wiped the tears falling down her beautiful face. "Please. Please Tori just forgive me. I know I'm not perfect and I can't change what's happened but I can change our future. I love you. I'm sorry for saying I'd try when I didn't. But mostly I'm sorry for the night's I can't remember." She was breathing heavy and fighting tears. I fought with everything I had not to cry. I could feel the warmth of her body and our noses were touching. She searched my face then softly she answered.

"Jade...I-I forgive you." I kissed her with everything I had. She threw her arms around my neck and I moved mine to her waist. I picked her up and spun her never breaking our kiss. I put her down and pulled away so our foreheads we touching. I opened my eyes and saw her blinding smile matching my own. We heard the loud clapping and whistling but right now it was only her. I found where I'm meant to be and I'll never forget another minute of it.