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She was his friend with benefits for three years. He couldn't give her more and she didn't want more. Boyfriends and relationship were a pain to her, she had said that much to him. So three or four times a week for three years he came to her at night or she met him at his favorite bar. They spent the night together, mostly staying awake during those nights, then he'd leave in the morning.

Than one night he told her he had to leave the country, that he was moving back to Ireland. He had bought her something. During their entire time together, they had never gotten each other gifts but he wanted her to remember him. So he bought her a bracelet with a M on it. They had one last night together and than he was gone. He had thought about her everyday since. He had wrote one letter with no return address and had thought about writing more but never did, he didn't know what to say to her.

Ten years later:

Murphy couldn't stand still as the boat pulled up to the dock. He had his hands in his pockets and was hopping around. Romeo had asked what his problem was but Murphy hadn't answered him. He had just grinned. Connor knew what he was happy about. In their ten years back at Ireland, Murphy hadn't had any contact with any girls. Connor knew they first thing Murphy was planning on doing was looking Jillian up and going to see her. Connor hoped, for their sakes, she still lived in Boston and she was still single. If Murphy couldn't find her and get laid, they were going to be the ones to pay for it.

They had settled into the apartment above Doc's bar when Murphy got a hold of Duffy. He called in a favor and Duffy got on it right away. He looked her up and gave Murphy her address. She had moved to a nicer part of Boston and still had a clean record. Murphy said a quick goodbye to his brother and their new friend, then hopped in the car Doc was letting them use.

XXXXXX

Jillian had just finished cleaning up the kitchen when someone came knocking on her door. She glanced at the clock and saw it was seven at night. It wasn't unusual for anyone to come to the apartment at that time. She smiled and put down her rag. She knew what to expect. She walked out of the tiny kitchen and to the front door that was right to her right. She opened the door, expecting to see two 10 year old boys standing there.

" Hi." Murphy said. Jillian's stomach dropped as all the color in her face washed out. Murphy's hands were in his pockets as he smiled at her. When she didn't respond to him, his smile faded slightly. " Are you alright, Lass?"

" How the hell are you here?" She asked. " You were all over the paper and the TV. Your face was everywhere. What are you doing here? You're going to get in trouble." His smile returned.

" It's great to see you too, Jillian." He said.

" Mom! Who is it?" Her almost 10 year old son asked as he came out of his room. Murphy shifted to look behind her in shock.

" It's just an old friend of mine, Liam." She said.

" Ms. Winters!" They heard Mike and Brandon call as they came up behind Murphy. " Can Liam come out and ride bikes?" Mike asked.

" Yeah, that's a great idea." Jillian said. She grabbed Murphy's arm and pulled him inside quickly then grabbed her son and pushed him out. " Be careful, I love you, be home at 8." She said. Liam looked at the man who was staring at him then kissed his mother's cheek.

" Okay. I love you too." He said before all three boys ran down the porch of the apartment complex. Jillian shut the door quietly and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath then faced Murphy.

" You had a babe?" Murphy asked. He was standing in her kitchen. She nodded. " Are you with the lad's da?" She shook her head. Murphy swallowed hard as an idea started rolling through him. " How old is he?" He knew the answer. It was written all her face. The boy had undeniable dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. The same dark hair and blue eyes Murphy had been staring at his entire life.

" He's 9 years and 9 months old." She said softly.

" Who is his da?" Murphy asked. Jillian bit her lip slightly, something he knew she did when she was nervous or getting ready cum. " What is his full name?" He asked when she didn't answer him. She cleared her throat and walked away. Murphy followed her through the dining room and to the couch. She sank down into it. " Just tell me, Lass." He said as he sat down beside her.

" You already know the answer. I can tell you do." She said. They were turned towards each other but she wasn't looking at him.

" Tell me his name and who his da is." Murphy said as he stared at her. She closed her eyes, part of her had hoped this day would never come.

" Liam Murphy MacManus Winters. You are his dad." She said as she looked at him. A tear was making it's way down her cheek. " That's his birth name. He has Murphy and MacManus both as his middle name but he thinks it's just Liam MacManus Winters. He doesn't know his other middle name." She said.

" Why does he have your last name?" He asked.

" I couldn't give him yours. I didn't name you as the father, he doesn't know his dad's name. I saw what you and Connor had done at the court house, and while you know I supported what you guys did as the saints, I was scared people would come after us, looking for you." She said.

" Did you know you were pregnant when I left?" Murphy asked. She shook her head.

" I found out a week after you were gone. I was 6 weeks pregnant by then." She said.

" And you have raised him alone?" He asked. She nodded.

" He's yours. I'm sure it's hard to believe because we weren't in a relationship or anything but I wasn't sleeping with anyone else." She said.

" I can see that he is mine. He looks just like me." Murphy said softly. They looked away from each other as she wiped her cheek. He reached out and grabbed her right wrist after a few minutes. He pushed her sleeve up and looked at the bracelet hanging there. He touched the small charm and saw that she had add an L to the M. " You kept it." She nodded.

" I take it off to shower and that's all." Jillian said. His fingers were playing with the charms.

" He doesn't know my name?" Murphy asked as he watched his fingers.

" No. There are so many mixed views on you and your brother that I was scared to tell him. I didn't want him to tell his friends and have people say bad things to him. I'm still nervous about mob members coming after us. But he knows about you. I have told him what you look like, some of your favorite things. He knows he has an uncle and that you two do not live in the country anymore." She said. " I told him you had to leave to care for a sick family member and that we lost touch before I found out I was pregnant. He knows you don't know about him."

" This isn't what I was expecting." Murphy said as he looked at her. " But I'm glad you're single. You are single, aren't you?" He asked. Jillian laughed softly.

" Liam has been the only man in my life since you. Raising a MacManus has been challenging. He acts just like you and Connor." She said. Murphy smiled slightly.

" He's a handful than." Murphy commented.

" To say the least. He has broken his arm twice from doing crazy stunts."

" Is he a good lad?" Murphy asked. She nodded.

" He is. He is respectful and kind. He always wants to help people. One of his friends' parents said something about the Saints not to long ago and he came home and asked me about them. So I told him about you without tell him you're his dad. He completely agrees with what you guys did, in fact, he said he wants to grow up to be a saint. I told him I gave him the middle name of MacManus because I believed in what you guys were doing." She said. Murphy nodded.

" I want to see him again." Murphy said. " Maybe I should get to know him, let him get to know me and Connor. Then we could talk to him, tell him who I am." Murphy said.

" If you aren't coming here to stay then I'm not sure I want to tell him you are his dad. Am I supposed to get him excited only to have you leave?" She asked. Murphy sighed.

" I want to see him. He's my son. I missed the first ten years, I don't want to miss the rest. Even if we have to leave, I will stay in contact with you this time." He said. Jillian looked away as she sat back in the couch.

" I don't want you to stay in contact with me because of him." She said.

" I shouldn't have let things go. I wanted to write but we kept things so casual that I didn't want to come off needy. I thought about you everyday since I left. I was coming here not just to sleep with you, just so you know, but to tell you I wanted to start something with you." He said. Jillian looked at him then stood up.

" I have some things to show you, stay here." She said as she walked away. She went straight ahead of them and into her room. Murphy watched as she pulled a big, blue book out from under her bed. She looked up at him and smiled as she stood up again. She quickly came back to the couch and sat down. "This is his baby book."

Murphy took the book from her and opened it up. The first page was filled with pictures of Jillian throughout her pregnancy. His breath caught as he got to watch her tummy grow through the pictures. He touched a few of them. Pregnancy suited her. She glowed in all the pictures. She was smiling and looked beautiful.

" You looked amazing." He said softly.