Mr. Collins

My Honorable Mister Bennet,

It is with a heavy heart that I write to inform you of a most grievous and serious situation that has arisen as a result of my cousin's visit to my humble parish house. My pen grows heavy in my hand as it travels across this parchment and I beg you to prepare yourself for a shock.

On Sunday last, I attended to my esteemed patroness Lady Catherine de Bourgh after completing my duties on the pulpit. She always invites her humble servant to tea after such occasions and graciously offers her wise counsel on improvements she wishes to see in the parish. I thought it odd that my cousin rejected this condescension, knowing the great honor that Lady Catherine bestowed by including her in the invitation. Your daughter claimed that her head ached and that a walk in the clear air would lessen her distress.

After tea, my dear Charlotte and I walked back to our little house only to be caught in a sudden down pour along the way. We sought the closest shelter under a large Chestnut tree, a tree which had been imported by the ancestors of my patroness many years ago. A little distance away we saw the large summer pavilion along with two other people, a man and a woman, who had taken shelter there from the rain. Upon closer inspection they proved to be none other than your daughter Miss Elizabeth and the nephew of Lady Catherine, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy.

My un-chaperoned cousin seemed to be engaged in a serious discussion with Mr. Darcy and what happened next stunned my senses. They moved very close to each other hovering just inches apart in a very unchaste manner. Then, my dear sir, I stood witness as the couple kissed. I could watch no longer, my gaze dropped to the ground; too ashamed of my cousin's actions to continue observing her behavior.

I felt it my duty to inform you of this monstrous breach of decency. I know not what you plan to do with the information I have set forth before you. However, I advise you to take action of swiftest and most severe kind. I can only rejoice in my choice of wife who is the one of the chastest and reticent creatures of her sex I have ever met.

I have informed my cousin of my intentions to write to you and I await your reply. I apologize most profusely for bearing these distressing tidings, but I felt it my duty to intervene, not only due to the nature of my profession, but also the nature of our relationship.

Sincerely,

William Collins