Summary: Tony and Ziva grab dinner together after work. Tag to 9x03 "The Penelope Papers".

Disclaimer: NCIS 不属于我的。 - That says "NCIS is not mine" in Chinese, because I'm tired of thinking up disclaimers in English. Hehe.

Spoilers: Major 9x03 "The Penelope Papers". Also, Deep Six references.

Dedication: Bree, this is for you! :D I don't know why it ended up so segmented, haha. It just did, but I hope you like it!

Warnings: Okay, this is canon, so Ziva is still with Ray. That said, it's a Tiva fic at heart. Also, things frequently make sense in my head, but I'm not sure if they make sense out of it.

Okay! I know I am not the first to have written and won't be the last to write this kind of tag, but eh, who cares. Enjoy, please review!

-Soph

The Almost-Date

"I'm driving," she told him as soon as the elevator doors closed.

"What? No. I actually want to keep my life, Ziva," he replied, grinning as she smacked him lightly.

"Give me the keys."

"Why? We can just get there separately."

She thought about it. "Yes, we can, but it is a waste of fuel."

"If we went in one car we'd have to come back and get the other person's car later, anyway; isn't that a waste of fuel?" He leant back and studied her. "And why are we taking my car? Why aren't we taking your car?"

She shrugged. "We are. I am simply confiscating your keys."

He shied away from her. "I like my keys."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Fine, keep them. But we're taking my car."

"Again, why aren't we taking two cars?"

"It would be a waste of time. You drive too slow, and I am hungry."

He smirked. "Admit it, Ziva, you just want to ride in the same car as me."

She opened her mouth to retort, but before she could say anything the elevator dinged, and she made a face at him and stepped out of the silver box.

xoxo

"Are you sure you know the way?" he asked as he climbed into her passenger seat, taking care not to bang his head against the roof. He shut the door and she started the engine.

"We've been there at least twice, Tony; of course I know the way."

"Says the woman who got lost on a bus route she'd taken five times."

"It was a different bus!"

"It was the same route!"

She made a humming voice and pulled out of the lot abruptly, causing him to yelp as he scrambled to fasten his seat belt.

xoxo

"What do you think McGee would say if he walked by right now and realized that I was your date?" she asked as she peered out of the restaurant window with interest. It was a busy night; people trekked past constantly, toting packages and small children.

"Oh, we're on a date?" He tilted his head, his voice suggestively low.

She raised her eyebrows at him. "I am simply using his terminology."

He chuckled. "Poor McGoo would mourn the loss of his next Deep Six novel, what with Agent Lisa being in a steady relationship and Agent Tommy being dateless and all. We're the ones who sell those novels, everyone knows that."

"You think it sells because of the romance?" She laughed. "McGee should consider a different genre."

He grimaced. "Nah, better if he doesn't. Can you imagine what he might make Agents Tommy and Lisa do then?"

"It could be awkward for us to read," she agreed.

"Yeah, and imagine if some nutjob decided to make it come to life the way he did with McGee's mystery novel."

"How would anyone do that?"

"I don't know. How would a person make a romance novel about us come to life?"

"Presumably, he would make us act it out…what?" she looked confusedly at Tony, who was smirking at her again.

"You realize what you're saying, right? You and me, in a bed?"

She shook her head. "Tony, get your mind out of the gutter."

"I thought we were pretty much in the gutter with this whole conversation."

"I wasn't, but clearly you are." She squeezed her eyes shut. "Okay, let's talk about something else."

xoxo

"Tony! Stop stealing my food!" She gently slapped his hand away, and he nursed it with an aggrieved expression.

"What do you mean, stop stealing your food? This is the first time I've done it!" She stared pointedly at him. "Tonight."

"You still owe me from that lunch."

"You're collecting?" His jaw dropped open in disbelief. "That was months ago!"

"I got hungry a little faster because of it!"

He groaned dramatically and pushed his food towards her, shutting his eyes. "Okay, take whatever you need."

"Why are you closing your eyes?" she asked as she fished out her favourite bits from his plate.

"I can't bear to see my plate empty."

"I'm not taking all of it," she replied in annoyance.

He popped one eye open and looked at her. "I know, but I'm a man who loves his food as much as he loves his women."

She chewed absent-mindedly and contemplated him. "I think that means you love your women too little."

"Or I love my food too much." He indicated his plate. "Are you done?"

"Yes. So you admit to being a glutton?"

"I do not," he said defensively as he shifted his plate back to himself. "It's an artistic appreciation of food. I appreciate the value it holds-"

"In your stomach?"

"In my eyes. There is beauty to food, Ziva. That's why five-star hotels decorate their food so nicely. You wouldn't eat something that looked like crap."

"True." She tapped her fork against her lower lip as she thought about that. "So do you appreciate women for their artistic value too?"

"Women are a little different. They're a bit more complex than food."

"And?"

"My love for them is a bit more complex than my love for food, albeit equally as strong."

She furrowed her brows at him. "What do you think of McGee's grandmother?"

"How do you go from women and food to her?"

"I'm complex. Go with the flow."

He eyed her before answering. "It's good that McGee has such a family member. I'm not sure his mum owns a pair of red pumps he can teeter around in."

She snickered. "That was a good story."

"Best one I've heard in years."

"You are going to hold it over him for as long as you can, aren't you?"

"Only on weekdays and days when he has something I need."

"I'm glad I'm not him."

"You never know; I may have something incriminating of yours."

"Yes, but I have all the weapons."

He blanched. "Noted. No holding things over Ziva."

She beamed at him. "You are a fast learner."

xoxo

"See, now we have to go back to the Navy Yard for my car," he groaned as they stepped out into the cold night. She shivered a bit at the change in temperature, and he glanced at her. "You want my coat?"

"No, thanks." She extracted her car keys from her pocket.

"I'm driving."

"Why? It's my car."

"Because I just ate." He tapped his foot and held out his hand. She grumbled and dropped her keys into his open palm.

xoxo

"So that was fun," he said as he shut off the engine, and she half-expected him to continue with, we should do this again sometime soon.

"It was. Thank you for sharing your food."

"I didn't really have a choice."

She huffed. "Can't you be a gentleman and just say 'it was my pleasure' instead?"

"What does food-sharing have to do with chivalry?"

"Nothing, but it would show good breeding on your part."

His eyes twinkled as he looked at her. "Okay, I'll bite. You want me to be a gentleman?"

She shrugged. "It would be nice, occasionally."

"Hmm." He pondered that for a while, and then abruptly turned away and opened the car door. "Okay. Stay in here for a while."

She watched in puzzlement as he got out of the car and stepped around it, walking up to her side and opening her door. Her eyes widened in shock when he bowed and held out his hand.

"M'lady."

Stunned, she gaped at him. He nodded encouragingly, and she hesitantly placed her hand into his and allowed him to help her out of the car. It wasn't until her feet hit the ground that she regained her power of speech. "What is wrong with you?"

"What?" He shot her an 'injured puppy' expression. "You said you wanted me to be a gentleman! I was helping you out of the car!"

"Tony, I didn't need help."

"Well, there aren't many things I can do for you, you know."

A slow smile curled the corners of her lips, because he was probably right. She rubbed his arm apologetically. "I know."

He returned her smile as he grabbed her hand and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it. "Goodnight, Zi."

Her smile widened. "Goodnight, Tony."