A/N: ok, the fanfic muses have finally gifted me with a new fanfic idea! This is one of my top favorite pairings, and I've wanted to write something for it for a while. As usual, I don't mind if I'm given constructive criticism, but no flames please. Also, any Spanish used will most likely be from Google translate, with a translation in brackets [ ] next to it. Don't blame me for any wrongness in Spanish grammar. I obviously don't own any aspect of the Losers, though I really wish I owned Cougar. Oh, and since I've only ever seen the movie, and it never states specifically where he's from, I've made Cougar a Mexican in this.

Catch a Cougar by the Tail

LizLiz07

Jake Jensen jolts up from his very enticing dream of pool boys in speedos, woken up by the obnoxious sound of his alarm clock. He glares at it as he fumbles for the off switch and puts on his glasses. Five more minutes, and he was sure that the Hispanic one would have been on his knees giving him a pleasurable tongue-lashing.

Sighing, he lets the dream slip away, and stands up. Knowing from experience that his dad is going to be in to check on him any moment, he makes his way over to his dresser. He pulls on a shirt first, one of his contraband ones, quickly followed by his hoodie sweatshirt. With the result of his dream hidden, he starts digging around for his favorite pants.

Sure enough, just as he pulls them on, his dad appears. Jake waves at him cheekily and he leaves, nodding in satisfaction. Sighing, Jake grabs his backpack and walks out to the kitchen. "I'm leaving for school now," he calls out as he walks to the door. No one answers him.

Jake waits until he's out of his neighborhood before dropping the manly walk he's been using and adopting the more hip swinging walk he prefers. He grins as the walk instantly catches the eye of a passing man and winks, adding just a little more hip swing. Jolene, his best friend, is waiting for him up ahead and she rolls her eyes.

"Stop teasing the general populace. It's not nice." She admonishes him. His grin turns teasing and he bumps her with one of his hips.

"Isn't that what you girls do all the time?" he asks, feigning innocence. Jolene rolls her eyes. "Wearing low cut shirts and all that?" He pauses, giving her a chance to deny it. "Yeah, that's the pot calling the kettle black, honey."

Jolene laughs. "Alright, fine." She concedes. "Still, at least tease the guys your age. They can actually do something about it." They start off for the bus stop and Jensen pouts at her.

"You know I like them older." He leans against the bus sign. "And the ones I've been with have never seemed to mind." He glances around and starts pulling off his hoodie. Jolene notices his shirt and winces.

"You're really wearing that one?" Jensen glances at her questioningly. "That shirt stopped being funny years ago." Jensen looks down at his shirt—a bright yellow one with a grinning smiley face and bold letters declaring hell yes I'm gay, can't you see my happy smile?—unable to see what's wrong with it.

"I like this shirt. It's very punny." He laughs as Jolene gives an anguished groan. Fortunately, the bus arrives before she can harangue him into putting his hoodie back on. They climb on and soon arrive at school, where Jolene quickly abandons him to hang out with her boyfriend Pooch while he heads off to get breakfast in the cafeteria.

He raises an eyebrow as he steps in only to find a giant line. Sighing, he joins it at the back and prepares to wait. Hopefully it doesn't take too much of the morning break to get food. "What's up with the long line?" he asks the girl in front of him.

"The school hired an authentic chef for once." The girl answers, shifting her backpack to the other shoulder. "They're giving free breakfast today to try him out." Jensen nods to indicate that his question is answered.

"Oh." He vaguely remembers reading something about it in the newsletter the school sent out over the summer. "I hope this doesn't become the norm." If it did, he'd have to wake up early so he could eat at home.

She nods emphatically. "I think it's mostly the free food, though. Tomorrow it should go back to normal." She smiles and holds up crossed fingers. "I hope."

Jensen laughs. "No kidding." He decides to take a chance and steps up next to her. She just gives him a knowing smile. "I'm Jensen." He holds out a hand.

"Aisha." She replies, giving it a firm shake. "I'll be your leg up in the line today." She adds, making him laugh again. At that moment, a Hispanic-accented voice rises over the crowd's chatter.

"Lo siento, [I'm sorry] but the kitchen is slightly overrun. There are not enough personas [people] to keep up with the cooking, so we'll have to shut down for a moment." A collective groan from the line follows the announcement. Jensen steps to the side enough to follow the voice up the line and back to the man standing by the door into the kitchen part of the cafeteria.

Jensen raises an eyebrow as his eyes trace the cook's small, slender form. Not too bad, in his opinion. Wanting to get a more detailed look, he waves at Aisha and moves over to the cook. "Are you accepting volunteers? I don't really cook, but I can wash or hand the food out."

Cougar glances away from the grumbling crowd he's trying to appease at the offer. "Que? [what?]" The student rolls blue eyes from behind his glasses. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you fully; I wasn't paying attention. Se puede decir de nuevo? [Can you say it again?]"

Jensen frowns a little at the slip into Spanish. It's a good thing he took Spanish every year since junior high. "I offered to help in the kitchen. Washing dishes or handing out food." He replies, letting his gaze wander over the dark hair bunched up in a hair net and over the tanned face. "As long as I get some food first."

Cougar considers the offer, trying to resist looking anywhere but at his face in return. "Alright, help would be appreciated." He accepts, and gestures the kid inside. "Wash your hands, and put on a hair net. I'll work on food for you." Jensen nods and moves to the sink.

"Thanks. I'm Jensen," He adds, quickly following directions. "In case you wanted to know." The cook nods and doesn't say anything, intent on lining up premade breakfast burritos. Jensen frowns, but doesn't let it bother him. Challenges are always more fun.

Cougar waits until the burritos are in the oven and its set before he answers. "Cougar." Jensen glances over as he struggles with the hair net with an inquiring look. "That's my name." He replies.

Jensen smiles. "Oh. Cool. I like that name, it's much better than mine. That's why I go by my last name; it's more interesting than Jake." He pauses as he finally works out how to get it on. "Not nearly as interesting as Cougar, though. Maybe I should pick out a nickname like that."

Cougar sighs in annoyance as he tunes out the babble that continues to flow out of Jensen's mouth. It just figures that the chattiest one of all is the one that volunteers and attracts him. Fortunately, the oven beeps, signaling that the burritos are finished heating.

Jensen is in the middle of a sentence when a warm burrito is shoved into his mouth. He grins sheepishly and takes a bite, reaching up to catch the rest. "Sorry," he apologizes once his mouth is empty. "I tend to chatter without realizing it."

Cougar simply nods and continues transferring the rest onto plates that he's laid out on the counter. "When you finish eating, you can start on dishes." He studiously focuses on his task, instead of Jensen's lips. He'd been attracted to students before, had even very nearly acted on it once, but he's never met one like Jensen.

Jensen hurries to finish eating and turns to the sink of dishes. "How come there's so many already?" He wonders out loud, setting up the sink. "You'd think there'd hardly be any." Sighing, he grabs the first dish and begins washing.

Cougar can feel frustration build as he continues heating and serving burritos and other breakfast foods. He'd figured that once the flow of students had resumed and he'd gotten Jensen distracted some of the hormones the blonde had stirred up would settle. But no, Jensen can't seem to sit still. He glances over against his better judgment to watch as the boy bounces to a song heard only in his head as he washes, and feels the hormones whirl around again.

Normally Cougar would find it amusing, maybe even endearing. But right now, when he can't afford the risk of being charged with sexual harassment, it's just plain cruel. Never in his life has he felt so tempted. He checks the clock, wishing desperately for the first bell to ring.

Jensen glances surreptitiously at his prey, annoyed that he can't tell if his attack is working. The Mexican never seems to be looking when he checks, and there's nothing on his face to show that he's noticed at all. Granted, there's nothing on his face to show any sort of emotion. It's a little unnerving, in Jensen's opinion, but also kinda hot.

It'll make seeing the lust for him on it all that more satisfying, he realizes. To see those expressionless dark eyes go darker with desire. With a small cocky grin, he renews his washing. It's occurred to him that Cougar might be straight, but he doesn't care. He's turned a few men gay enough. He's confident that he can turn this one if he needs to. You don't know what you've got coming, amigo.

With most of the line dealt with, Cougar takes a moment to relax and start the set up for lunch. Resigned to the fact that his eyes are determined to watch Jensen no matter what, he sets up on the island counter facing him. That way he can just glance up now and then, instead of turning his head.

Of course, now that he's given into the urge to watch, his imagination decides to attempt its own mutiny. As he divides the packs of ready-made food, images play in his mind of him stepping behind Jensen to join the wiggling dance. He ruthlessly cuts them off before they can go farther, already worked up enough.

He's almost succeeded when Jensen happens to catch his glance. He holds it, more out of entrancement than challenge, until Jensen licks a slow line around his mouth. Cougar's gaze drops to it, but with a small wink Jensen looks away. Cougar drops his gaze also, suddenly feeling shaky. Dios mio, [my god] he thinks, unable to stop the rush of meanings that gesture means.

Jensen grins to himself, resisting the urge to wriggle more with glee. There was definite interest in those dark eyes for a moment, right after he'd licked his lips. In his opinion, that move couldn't have worked better. Three birds, one stone. He's revealed that he's gay and interested, and learned that Cougar's interested back.

A/N: so that's the first chapter. I'm not sure if school cafeterias have island counters, but I've decided that this one does. It's more of a private school anyway, so it would have one. So, yeah. Thanks for reading, and see you guys in reviews (hopefully) or the next chapter.