Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Me: *panting* Yes. I know its only one more day until the next episode but I was buried in work! And the premier was too awesome not to write something!

I've read all the many amazing one shots but there are only like 1 or 2 that depicts Merlin's thoughts so I said, "Hells Bells!" and wrote this little thing.

Now, this one is unBetad since I send a pretty colossal file for her to Beta like … 2 weeks ago so she might be preety busy. But she has been saying how proud she was at my progress so here's hoping there aren't many mistakes! :D

Enjoy!

Things could be worst…

Well, no, that wasn't true. With Morgana tearing open the veil between the two worlds and thereby releasing a swarm of Dorocha upon the kingdom and said swarm of dark specters engulfing every citizen in their path in a blanket of emptiness and freezing death and him incapable of using his magic to defend them, well, he really couldn't see who it could be any worst.

Now Merlin and Arthur were huddled together in one of the many empty rooms of the ruins, hoping, wishing, praying for the Dorocha that was following them to street away from them. As Arthur turned to glare at him slightly at his lack of shivering, Merlin honestly couldn't help but be relieved of not having any armor. Having been raised in a farming village like he had, his bones had grown accustomed to the biting cold of winter with how little his mother and he had to protect themselves.

But it was also the fact that he had already felt the chilling darkness when having the Dorocha so close to you and Arthur had just pushed him out of the way of one just minutes before. But as Arthur began to confess his fear to Merlin, he felt his mask drop for a second. Merlin leaned forward and assured him that they would defeat them together and he couldn't help but wince slightly as he saw Arthur give him a brief smile, believing him wholeheartedly. What he said was mostly true in a way. They would defeat them, but instead of Arthur sacrificing himself, Merlin would be the one to not return back home.

They soon fell into their usual banter, trying to dissuade the deadly situation they were in and keep calm. And it worked at first. He even got Arthur to up his status once he became king. So what if he said Court Jester? Merlin decided to take this as progress and he could be patient. "Baby steps" He thought to himself before their heads snapped towards the door as they heard another terrifying scream. Their muscles tensed in apprehension as they realized that the specter was getting closer.

"They say the darkest hour is just before the dawn." He heard Arthur stating as their panting betrayed their feelings.

"It's pretty dark right now…"

"It can't be long then." At that moment, they both heard the piercing screams of the Dorocha emanating from behind the door, but the both knew that it was about to pounce. As Merlin watched Arthur peer behind the pillar, Merlin could see with infinitesimal detail the way his face morphed between frightened dread to pure determination as he prepared to step in front the Dorocha.

Merlin was not going to allow that. The prat thought of sacrificing himself in order to give him a few more precious seconds to live. Arthur was thinking of the possibility that the others were already looking for them, in which case they might reach Merlin on time to save him. However, having his magic suppressed by being so close to the specter did not hinder his most basic instinctual magic. Merlin could sense the others were merely a few feet away, desperately trying to reach them in time but he knew it would only be for one of them.

And he'll be damned if he let Arthur make him that one.

Before Arthur could even send the command for his legs to move, Merlin shot up from his spot and grasped his armored covered shoulder, essentially dragging Arthur back and propelling him forward.

"Merlin NO!"

But really, even if he could, there was no going back. Every second seemed to drag for hours as Merlin took his final steps towards the approaching specter. But however certain his death would be, however frightening he found these creatures, Merlin could only feel relief.

For the past year, Merlin had tried his best to aid and ease the new burdens that fell upon Arthur. Having to take on more and more of his father's responsibilities had taken a toll on Arthur such that he had grown ever so colder, ever so apart and it came to a point where Merlin questioned where their friendship was heading, whether or not Arthur would ever see him more than his plucky servant. But then there were times when they would fall into their usual banter. Those times where what gave him the strength to continue smiling for the others, further continuing his charade of happiness for them, in order for him to continue protecting them.

But no matter what Arthur did to him could deter him from seeing his tremendous progress. Each and every day he managed to see the courageous and noble king that the legends foretold. His kindness towards the people was growing every day and in such contrast to his father. The way that Arthur treated the villager when she was in near hysterics lifted his weary heart and gave him the strength he didn't realize he need it. With a final leap, Merlin jumped head on as he felt the Dorocha slide through him.

Darkness. Pure and unbelievable darkness engulfed him at that very moment. What he described to Gaius before was nothing compared to what he was feeling right now. The air in his lungs seemed to betray him as every intake seemed to be like a strike of a whip within his chest. The emptiness seemed never ending, engulfing his every core as his whole body froze.

Cold. So very very cold. This wasn't the small bite of winter or even the same frozen desolating presence he felt in the Dorocha. This was emptiness. A frozen wasteland on unending, unyielding and unfathomable darkness and his spirit, his essence, his very magic was being poisoned by it.

But amongst all that cold and pain Merlin could barely feel a flicker of something within him. He tried his best to push aside the bitter cold and the empty, hollow darkness that was engulfing him and tried to focus on the spark. It was barely there. A tiny speck of warmth, golden tendrils swirled around it as they fought against the inky blackness to protect the spark. Merlin felt himself drawn to it, his mind ever so slowly edged near the minuscule spark of warmth. He was grateful that the golden tendrils didn't fight him off like the blackness, instead trying against everything to further engulf him with the spark. As he finally got closer to the tiny speck of light, his mind whirled against the familiar sensation as he felt himself stunned at the realization.

This was his magic.

Ever since arriving at the Isle of the Bless, Merlin felt his magic diminished ever so slowly as the sun began its decent. Having his magic leave him, alone and vulnerable scared him in ways he couldn't understand. Once the Dorocha engulfed him in darkness that tiny feeling was all but gone. He thought it was gone, that it had disappeared completely leaving him abandoned and alone inside that dark and cold wasteland but to have even just a spark, however small it may be, right in front of him, he no longer felt the same emptiness and darkness within him.

As soon as those thoughts hit him, the spark immediately flew at him and into his chest, sending small bouts of warmth and strength throughout his body. His mind seemed to snap back to reality, leaving the darkness from where he was. He couldn't move his body as a biting cold struck his nervous system informing him of the state of his body. Of course, all the victims of the Dorocha were frozen where they stood, so his body must be reaching hypothermia pretty soon. But even as his body was frozen, he could still feel a pair of hands on his shoulders and arms, shaking him frantically. His sight was the next to come to him, first a blur of colors as ever so slowly he began to recognize different shapes and forms. To his left was the distressed looking form of Lancelot, behind him he could scarcely see the others in different states of anger and grief. Why would they be grieving? Had something happened while he was out?

Oh right. He was frozen.

Since he didn't find Arthur amongst them, he tried to turn his head towards the last set of hands to his right. A slight pressure was in his shoulder as he could feel a slight tremble in the hands that were grasping them. He also could feel the piercing gaze of a familiar pair of blue eyes as well and he assumed it was Arthur waiting for him to stand up and get going. He decided to ignore the few trickles of water he felt dropping on his hand, it was probably just the frost melting already. With his body refusing to obey, Merlin decided that the only way to see Arthur would be his eyes, so he began to try to move them. They refused to at first, but eventually Merlin felt victorious as he managed to snap them towards where he wanted to and gazed at a stunned, open mouthed Arthur.

"Merlin?" He heard his master shout in disbelieve, surprise and perhaps even hope? As soon as he did this, Merlin felt the others immediately gather closer to his frame; their faces changing between hope and worry for their prince, not knowing if he had lost his mind to grief like his father. He could see in all their faces, they wanted some kind of sign as to his condition if he was indeed alive. His frozen gaze never wavered from Arthur's as his body became exhausted with the slight effort of moving his eyes just now, but he needed to let them know he was alright, he needed to let Arthur know that he would be ready to get going in a few minutes but most of all, he needed to let them know he was freezing.

"M'lord…" The others were startled to hear his raspy and pain ridden voice as Merlin became worried at how difficult it was to even utter those few letters. Breaking out of his stupor, Arthur immediately fell into action and began barking others to the others. Merlin felt himself being lifted from the ground and carried out of the ruins.

Merlin's eyes tried to travel up to the one carrying him and he was stunned to see Arthur. Pass the frost along his lanky frame, Merlin could feel Arthur's hand embracing his frame with more gentleness that he ever thought him capable. Why was Arthur carrying him? He needed to be free of any hindrance so he can stay alert. The Dorocha were still out there and sunrise was still a few hours away, he would just weigh them down.

But Merlin knew Arthur would never leave him. They've been through too much together and he would never leave anyone behind. Whatever happened now, Merlin would do his best to aid his prince. No matter what, he was going to be the one to offer his life to close the veil, not Arthur. The young prince still had too much life left in him, both in his destiny as well as his friends and family. As long as Avalon got the chance to live under Arthur's rule, Merlin was honored to give his life for it. Always.

Now if he could just get a blanket…

Me: Not my best work but I did my best! :D

And where are my knights? I haven't heard a squeak nor a peep out of any of them in 'A Warlock's Heart' and I'm getting worried! Did my army fell in battle? Did a neighboring kingdom offered them bigger, more delicious cookies? I need answers!

*big grin* AHHHH! I am so excited for this season! It has proven to be the darkest one yet and I can't wait to see the more broken, eviler side to our little warlock! :D

*grumbles as I walk away* I tried to not see the premier last week to see them back to back but I was too weak… Didn't last even 2 hours….