A/N: Oh man! (takes a deep breath) I can't believe this. Folks, it's the last chapter! This story is actually coming to an end.

BUT, first things first… Thank you so much for those absolutely amazing reviews! It's been really good to write to you guys. So thank you! (HUGS)

Awkay… (swallows) I'm REALLY insecure when it comes to final chapters, so I'm just going to bite the bullet before I chicken out. (smirks sheepishly) I REALLY hope you'll consider this a worthy final!

SONG RECOMMENDATION: Just listen to 'Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own' from U2, or read the lyrics! It fits this story so well. (grins)

Epilogue – Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

Eight months later

Spencer had known not to expect miracles since he was a little child. Since then life had given him countless of reasons not to believe. His mom had tried to rip that skepticism from him several times but never quite succeeded.

Spencer didn't believe in miracles. That's why he was practically trembling with anxiety as he sat on the edge of a hospital bed, already wearing one of those horrendous gowns.

After eight months of thrice a week dialysis is was almost impossible to believe that some anonymous donor was really about to help him back to normality. That after this very day the torment would be over.

"Are you nervous about the surgery?" Emily's voice startled him. He shouldn't have forgotten that she was there, really. Since the beginning of his treatments the team had made sure that no matter what one of them would stay behind and be there with him. Even now the rest of the team was working on a case. It felt almost like they feared he might vanish or something horrible would happen if they left him alone. Spencer had no idea what to think of such attention.

Spencer didn't know how to answer her without sounding like a lunatic so he nodded faintly and muttered a "Hmm". And then his eyes happened to stray towards the room's window. His heart shuddered just a little bit.

It was raining outside. Raining although weather forecast had promised only 5 percent's chance of rain. Most people probably viewed it as extremely bad luck. To Spencer it was the closest thing to a miracle he could accept.

So even statistics were mistaken sometimes.

Emily frowned, despite the fact the she tried to hide it visibly worried. "Reid? Are you okay?"

He nodded slowly and swallowed. Somewhere inside him warmth began to grow, reach towards the tips of his fingers and toes. He wondered if it was because of medication. "Yeah", he breathed out. "I just… I was thinking that I should've listened to my mom, that's all."

Emily nodded and pressed her lips together. She knew him well enough to understand that despite all the years they'd known each other this was a topic not to be pressed. She did, however, do something that was almost equally risky.

Spencer shivered when feeling a hand wrap around his. Looking down he discovered Emily's fingers right there, circled determinedly around his. He hesitated for the longest time, several simultaneous urges roaring inside his head. Then his fingers twitched, finally finding their way through hers.

It didn't last longer than a couple of fleeting seconds, for one long breath – it didn't need to. The agent was up, stretching, by the time a nurse with the reddest hair he'd ever seen and equally bright blue eyes entered the room.

The nurse smiled. "I'm sorry, but the OR is almost ready. We'll be taking the doctor here in shortly."

Emily nodded. It took a profiler to discover the uneasiness and distress hiding on her features. "Thank you." She gave him a glance, the look speaking what she didn't want to express with words. "Hang in there, okay? I'll be waiting when you wake up."

Spencer nodded, not quite sure how to feel about that fact. He watched her walk away and kept his eyes on the door several seconds after it'd closed behind her. He knew she'd call the rest of the team as fast as she could. And at that moment fear rose inside him.

It felt horrifying and incredibly good at the same time, to have so much to lose.

The nurse had a tiny grin flashing on her lips as she began the preparations. "You have quite a family."

To his own great surprise Spencer smiled back. "Yeah. I do."

In a room not all that far away a young nurse Yvonne Warren's brown eyes shifted towards the man who was sitting on the edge of a bed. Preparing his IV she hesitated, then spoke the words that'd lingered on the tip of her tongue since she first met him. "I don't know what happened in the past. And I have no right to tell you what to do", she admitted. "But I do think you should go and see him, talk to him. He deserves to know, especially since soon he's carrying around your organ."

The man shook his head determinedly, gritting his teeth hard. He watched how she attached the IV before finally speaking in a quiet voice. "I should've done that years ago. I should've talked to him, should've faced him." He winced ever so slightly when the drug began to seep into his system. "But now he's… not that kid I used to know. He's been through hell without me, with the support of those around him. He's a lot stronger than I ever gave him credit for." He blinked a couple of times and she couldn't tell if it was because of medication or threatening tears. "He doesn't need me in his life anymore. He's grown past that."

Yvonne felt a tiny, sad smile making its way to her face. She brushed his hand unnecessarily. "For someone who used to be a profiler you don't know people very well." With that she began to leave. "I'll come and escort you to the OR soon, alright? Try to relax."

She got no response.

Left alone into the room Jason Gideon sighed, trying to relax his stiff shoulders. What his eyes saw was a secret only he knew.

As he waited, no longer sure what he was waiting for, ghosts of the past kept him company. But for once they were quiet.

Several days later Spencer was just getting dressed, eagerly preparing to leave the hospital, when the room's door opened unexpectedly. He thought it'd be a nurse. That's why jumped slightly when JJ entered instead.

He wasn't sure which one of them blushed more as she took in his still bare chest. He wished that he imagined the pain that flashed in her eyes when they spotted the new surgical wound on his stomach. She cleared her throat loudly. "I… came to take you home."

He frowned, buttoning his shirt as fast as possible. Suddenly he was very self conscious with his body. He fidgeted. "Don't you have a case?"

JJ grinned, shaking her head. "No. Not today. Now get dressed so I can get you out of here."

Spencer didn't have to be told twice.

The drive to his apartment building was shorter than he'd remembered. He blinked twice, staring at the building, before managing to climb out of the vehicle.

He frowned upon noticing how JJ took his hospital bag. "You don't have to…"

JJ shook her head, clearly determined. "We both know it's not a good idea for you to carry around heavy stuff for a while."

Spencer was about to point out that the bag wasn't that heavy but chose not to when seeing the look in JJ's eyes.

They were in the floor below his when JJ spoke, a somewhat mischievous look on her face. "So… How are you planning on celebrating this special day?"

Spencer blinked several times. "What are you talking about?"

JJ stared at him incredulously, then laughed. It wasn't until then he realized how much he'd missed her real laugh, the one that came from the bottom of her heart and soul. "Well, Spence… Let's say that you'll get a real surprise soon."

He opened his mouth, only to realize that they were already stood behind his door. He opened the door – and almost fell to the floor with shock.

"Happy birthday, Reid!" came a chorus of voices.

The team… They were all there, gathered into his living room with wide, almost child like grins on their faces. There was a gigantic cake and the presents seemed to be everywhere.

Derek was still grinning as the man made his way to him. He was in too much of shock to stop the man from placing a completely ridiculous party hat on top of his head. "C'mon, Pretty boy. You need to blow your candles before the cake melts." Then, as an afterthought, the man winked and added. "Don't worry, they're real candles this time."

Spencer rolled his eyes but couldn't keep himself from smiling slightly.

As Spencer allowed Derek to lead him to the cake and the rest of the team, mostly feigning protests, he felt more normal than ever in his life. It felt good.

While Spencer became occupied by blowing the candles Aaron took his time to examine the entire team.

He couldn't even imagine what the time in Dr. Harris' captivity was like for Spencer. Facing his worst fears and all the uncertainty alone… Actually being told that he'd killed someone, let alone one of his dearest friends… It was a miracle that the young genius didn't fall apart completely. The ordeal had left its marks, and not only on Spencer. But at least they were all healing together. David was letting the other members of the team closer, just a little bit but still. JJ smiled more and more every day. Penelope's sense of humor was coming back, slowly yet surely. Emily didn't have those eyes she did when she first joined the team anymore. Derek didn't seem to be afraid of touching Spencer and cracking jokes on the younger's expense anymore. And Aaron… He hadn't quite forgiven himself yet, no matter what he'd told Spencer. But at least he could believe that he might get there one day.

Their family had made it through hell, several times over. They'd make it through this one as well. Aaron knew that for sure as he looked at his team.

So, just as the final candle had died out and everyone started clapping and laughing, Aaron allowed himself a secret smile.

Four months later

Spencer couldn't believe that it'd been almost a year since Dr. Harris took him. A really, really long year.

Physically he was doing a lot better than before, mostly because he could finally sleep and eat a little bit better each day. The kidney transplant was working just as it was supposed to, which meant that he didn't have to go through dialysis anymore. The scars on his skin had healed but refused to disappear. He was particularly self conscious about the scars on his face – often it felt like they were the only thing people saw when they met him. But his body was a lot more resilient than it looked. Physically he'd been ready to return to fieldwork for a while.

Mentally, on the other hand… Well, he was trying, he really was. But he was also sadly aware that it'd take a very, very long time before he'd be able to trust another doctor. He was still on the edge all the time, and during the worst of days even the slightest sound could make him stiffen with anxiety. Every single one of his senses had a memory trace of the endless time that monster kept him; a glimpse, a scent, a taste or a tiny sound could push him back to those days, into the dark. The nightmares were the worst part, though. They still came every single night, wrapping around him like the coldest of blankets. But little by little the monsters hiding in the back of his head were growing smaller, quieter. Spencer already had hope that there'd eventually be a night when he'd be left alone completely.

After what he'd been through getting the help he needed wasn't exactly easy. Once the horror story with Dr. Harris ended Erin Strauss ordered him to go through a very long and intense therapy. It'd already continued for almost a full year and after every single session he was scared to death that he'd be locked up once more, this time for real. That he'd fall into a nightmare that wouldn't end. Now his career and future were in the hands of a yet another doctor, in those of his psychiatrist Melina Minsk. It was the time for his mandatory psychological evaluation, which would determine if he was allowed back on duty or not. The last time he was as terrified he was in Dr. Harris' hands.

"You're gonna tap a hole on the floor", a female voice pointed out all of a sudden, startling him. Looking to side he found a rather beautiful woman with half-long blond hair that'd been tied messily and blue eyes.

Spencer gritted his teeth, feeling like a child all of a sudden. It wasn't until then he noticed how restless his left foot was. He couldn't hold it still, no matter how hard he tried. "'Sorry." He gave his wrist watch a glance and frowned. "Dr. Minsk isn't usually this late."

The stranger shrugged, then watched him with a slight touch of curiosity. "I don't think I've ever seen you here before."

Against all odds Spencer relaxed ever so slightly. "Tuesdays aren't my usual day. Today's an… exception. I'm on her Thursday's list."

The woman nodded. "I see." She seemed to consider offering him her hand but chose against it. "I'm Lily."

"I'm Spencer." Spencer nodded towards the place's only book that lay on the tiny table between them.'Neuropsychiatry and Behavioural Neurology Explained: Diseases, Diagnosis, and Management'. "I think I've read that about fifty times by now."

Lily grinned just a little bit, obviously not realizing that he'd been serious. "I think you're the just about only person who can read here."

Spencer opened his mouth without the slightest clue of what he was going to say. He was, however, interrupted when his cell phone bleeped. His hand wasn't as steady as he would've liked it to be when he examined the item. There was a text message from Penelope.

'You'd better rock that interview, Boy Wonder. Your whole family really, really wants you back. We're all cheering for you.'

For a moment, perhaps two, Spencer stared at his cell phone in something close to stun. Then, very slowly, a smile crept to his lips.

"Good news?"

He nodded slowly, still slightly unsure of how he should feel. "Yeah", he stated in the end, squeezing his cell phone for a second before switching it on silent mode and pocketing it. "Something like that."

"Spencer?" He shivered a little, turning his head. The place's receptionist, a woman with messy dirty-blond hair and brown eyes, was peering at him through her thick glasses. She nodded towards Dr. Minsk's office. "She's ready for you."

Spencer swallowed thickly. As he hauled himself up with severe difficulty his eyes strayed to the door and he couldn't look away.

"Hey, Spencer." Lily smiled. "You worry too much." Seeing his not quite as convinced look she went on. "I see that look in your eyes. There's no way you're going to fail this."

For the second time he smiled. "Thanks." With that he took a deep breath, allowing Penelope and Lily's words wash through him. The trembling of his body eased, slowly yet surely.

Suddenly the door before him didn't look so terrifying anymore.

As he walked on with somewhat heavy steps he had a strong feeling that he wasn't entirely alone.

'Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.'

(Mark Twain)

End.

A/N: I… seriously can't believe this is over! (gasps, and almost sobs)

And who knows… THERE MAY BE a little bit more to this story later. We'll see what my in-build muse comes up with… (grins)

This has been a insanely good ride and not least of all because of you. You guys ROCK! Just take a look at how much love you've given this story. (beams, and GLOMPS) THANK YOU! You're really, really precious to me.

Please, do let me hear your thoughts on this final bit as well! I'd really love to hear if you're happy with how things were wrapped up. (glances hopefully)

Once again, thank you! Who knows, maybe we'll be typing again later.

Take care!