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DISCLAIMER: Okay, who saw the Elesa Battle episode of Pokemon? How awesome was that!

"Which one of us is Rin, and which is Len? Can you tell?"

Luka POV

"Let's all play the 'Which One Is Rin-chan Game'!"

The fan girls giggled with delight. Kiyoteru had finally convinced Len that to dress up in the girls' uniform for a change. It was certainly better for business.

"So?" the Twins chorused, "Can you tell which is Rin and which is Len?"

"Oh, this is hard!" Neru giggled.

"You two look identical," Haku observed.

The Twins mirrored each other's stances, "Many ladies have tried to tell us apart, but none have succeeded."

I rolled my eyes. Walking past them, I commented, "That's the stupidest game I've heard of."

The Twins put a hand on their hip, "What, something you don't like about it, Luki?"

"Not really." I turned to face them. "I just don't get why you two are so popular."

The two Rins opened their mouths, but were interrupted by a raging Gakupo.

"Len! Rin! I let you have control of the Club's homepage on the condition that you'd take it seriously!" he roared.

"We take our job very seriously, Tono," Len (miraculously back in his own uniform) said almost mockingly.

"We were up until dawn working on it," Rin pouted.

"And THIS is what you came up with?" Gakupo thrust a picture of… um, well, it was me shirtless… but it was my face on Len's body. I hope.

"Lulu-chan, you look great!" Piko marveled.

The fan girls gathered around the laptop screen, their squeals annoying me further.

"Tell me when!" Gakupo commanded Rin and Len.

"Huh—"

"WHEN DID YOU TAKE SHIRTLESS PICTURES OF MY LUKA! Did you bribe her with ootoro? That's what you did, isn't it? And then you did that… Oh, god, and the other thing!"

"Calm down, Tono, you're delusional," Rin told him.

"We photoshopped it," Len explained.

"Luki-kun looks so hot!" Miku squealed.

"I bet he'd look even cuter in girl's clothes," Lily remarked.

Neru nodded, "Yeah, if Len-sama looks so good in drag, just imagine Luki-kun!"

I sighed and glared at the Twins. "No more making weird pictures of me, you two. Got that? Just what do you take me for?"

The Twins shrugged. "We thought it was obvious. You're our toy."

"I am not a toy, let alone yours!" I yelled.

(Oh my god you guys it's the long awaited-)

"You want a toy…?"

Holy sh—

"Toys…If you like toys, come to my Black Magic Club…" said an eerie voice from the entryway. "If you come now…" the figure continued, "I'll throw in this handsome curse doll, Belzenef."

A/N: If you're a pervert like me, you can totally take that speech of his to a disturbing innuendo.

"Why is there a creeper talking through a crack in the doorway?" I wondered.

"Was that door even there before?" the Twins asked.

Kiyoteru approached us with his clipboard. "That's Leon Nekomura-senpai, third-year class B. He's not fond of brightly-lit places."

"Stay away from him, you three," Gakupo warned with a creepy look on his face. I screamed. "If you get involved with him, you'll definitely be cursed!"

"Don't pay attention to him," Kiyoteru told us, "He's just intensely delusional."

"The curse of Belzenef is real…" Leon warned with a creepy smile on his face. "If you engrave the name of a person that you hate into this doll's back, he will be cursed…"

"Man, this guy really is dark," Len commented.

"If he doesn't like bright lights, wonder how he'd respond to this…?" Rin held up a flashlight with a smirk.

Leon screamed. "You murderers!" he screeched, and dashed back into the phantom door again.

Rin and Len shrugged at each other.

"Hey, Luka," they called. "We have a favor to ask."

"What?"

"The next day we get off…"

"…can we come over to your place?"

"Why would you?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well, we're awfully curious. We wanna see where you live—"

"No way."

"Aw, pretty please?"

"No! You guys'll just make fun of me."

"No matter how much we beg?"

"No way."

Gakupo jumped up, "I, too have been thinking of paying my respects to Luka's—"

"No way in hell, Senpai."

To the Emo Corner! (A/N: Dananananananana TO-NOOOOOOOOOOO!)

Both Twins reappeared beside me in guy uniforms. Rin had put her hair in a ponytail and removed the clips and bow. "Then how about we settle this with a game? If you can't pick out which one of us is Len, as a penalty, we get to come over to your place on Sunday!"

The two switched places several times, like shuffling a deck of cards (kind of. My metaphors are off today). They stopped in front of me, grinning widely. "Okay, which one of us is Len-kun?"

I sighed. I pointed to the Twin on the left. "You're Rin," I moved my hand to the right, "And you're Len."

"Bzzzt! You got it wrong!" the two jeered.

I stopped for a minute, and then smiled at them. "No I didn't. You two do look very similar, but you're very different."

Both Twins gaped and blinked.

"How'd you do that, Luki?" Lily asked, amazed. "Whenever they're wearing drag, I can never tell who's who."

"How can you tell them apart, Luki-kun?" Miku wondered.

I looked at the Twins' stupid expressions and thought. "Well, let's see…It's kinda difficult to explain, but I'd say…

"Len's speech and actions are ten percent more evil than Rin's."

No offense intended, of course.

Rin covered her hand with her mouth and started giggling. Len glared at her. "I-I'm sorry, Len!" With that, she burst into all-out laughter, clutching her stomach.

Len scoffed, "Well, I'm honest, I speak my mind and I don't hold back. It's sneaky people like my sister who are the trouble-makers."

Rin stopped laughing short. "Don't you turn this on me! Len, I'm the one always jumping on board your stupid pranks!"

Len retorted, "I may suggest them, but you're the one who really gets into them, Rin. If you hate it so much, then why don't you just stop."

"'Cuz I'd hate to see you make an absolute ass of yourself, Len!" Rin snapped. "You suggested we call Luki our toy, and then you're so eager to make a pass at her—him!" She smirked, covering up her mistake. "Just admit it, Len, you're in love with Luka-i-a-i…aren't you?"

A look of shock washed over Len's face. "Huh?"

Gakupo shot, "What?"

"H-Hey, you've got it all wrong, Rin!" Len shouted back. "Man, you're such a freaking idiot!"

"Yes!" Gakupo agreed. "There are some things that should never be said!"

"Why would I fall for Luka, she looks like Piko-senpai's Tako-chan!" Len yelled.

"She does not!" Gakupo shouted.

"Fantastic. This is absolutely fantastic," a disembodied voice sighed. Teto rose from the ground in all her glory. "Our beloved Luki is in a caught in a beautiful four-sided relationship. What's more, two of the figures are twins, torn apart by love! Teto could eat three loaves of bread over this!"

"Stay out of this, Otaku-chan," the Twins droned.

"How mean! You shouldn't be so rude to your manager!" Teto wailed.

"Cut it out already!" Len shouted from across the room. I looked and saw that he and Rin were at it again. "You're always crawling into my bed! You're so annoying!"

"I only do that because you look so lonely!" Rin retorted. "I'd never choose to sleep next to you, idiot!"

By now, the fan girls were merely focusing on the details.

"Who are you calling an idiot? You're the one who sucks at math!" Len shot.

"Look who's talking! Maybe you should try a bit harder in French Class, Len!"

Kiyoteru wrote this all down on his clipboard.

"You grind your teeth too loud!"

"You toss and turn so much that you kick me out of bed!"

"Sex pixie!"

"Shota!"

"YO MOMMA WEARS TOO MUCH MAKEUP! THAT'S IT, WE'RE THROUGH!"

Oh snap.

Internet memes! And now, I'm gonna sing a song. It's Friday, Friday—

The next day, I sat down in my seat and pulled out my textbook and pencil for class.

"Hey Luki," I heard Len call. I turned to the door and my eyes bugged out at what they saw. I heard gasps around the room.

Len had pink hair.

What the f—

"Len! What happened to your head?" I asked.

"I think it's cute! Pink suits me!"

"You could say that again," Rin's voice snorted from the door.

I took a look at the female twin. She had blue hair.

"Yeah, Rin?" Len sneered. "You look like Kaito, if you ask me."

"I only did this so I wouldn't look like you anymore!" Rin snarled.

"So, Len is the pink twin, and Rin is the blue twin?" I asked.

"Yup!" both Twins chirped. They glared at their unison.

Rin covered it up with a giggle. She pulled out a chair next to mine. "I was finally able to sleep by myself last night. But I had a terrible nightmare that I died my hair pink. Can you imagine—ah!"

Len had kicked Rin's chair out from under her before she could sit. Rin clenched her fists and knocked Len's chair over as well.

The two stood up and glared at each other. Soon, chairs, desks, and vases were flying across the room at each other. The Twins shot curses at each other.

I sighed. This would be a long, long day.

Oh mah gawd, who saw the MLP:FIM episode 23 when Big Mac and AJ switched roles and there was Smartypants and Trixie and **explodes from fangasm**

I decided to eat lunch in the cafeteria that day, considering the classroom I usually ate at was demolished.

"The A Lunch," the Twins said in unison from across the room. They glared at each other. "On second thought," they both continued, "make that the B pasta and D salad! No, the F cappellini with the barbarie duck—no, set that aside, and make it a foie gras poêlé, in périguex sauce!" They slammed their trays and faced each other. "Stop copying me!" they screeched.

I sighed, "That's amazing. They're even fighting in perfect sync."

"I was wondering what all the fuss was about," Gakupo sighed behind me. I turned. The Host Club, minus the Twins and me, was standing at the doorway. "Are you two still fighting?" Gakupo asked tiredly. "You're embarrassing the Host Club."

"It's the Host Club," a guy noted.

"Oh, I love them," the fans continued.

"All the Host Club boys are together!"

"Okay, break!" Piko shouted, a harisen in hand. "You're both to blame here." He pulled out a large cupcake with a leaf on top. "Len-chan and Rin-chan, I want you to make up and go halfsies on this cake! Oh, but I want to have some too, so I guess we'll have to go thirdsies. And we can't split the mint leaf, so what should we do? Maybe I should just take it. I love minty things, so that's okay, right? Oh, but Len-chan and Rin-chan, do you like mint, too? Maybe I should've put some banana or orange slices on it …"

When the Twins were about to punch Piko, Kaito ran in and grabbed the shota. "You're just making it worse. Leave them alone."

Suddenly, Gakupo noticed I was there. "Oh, Luka! Fancy running into you in the dining hall!"

You could practically see his wagging tail.

"I was so worried about those two, I followed them here without even thinking. I only have my obento, and I wanted to eat it in the (now destroyed) classroom…"

I could tell he was having another strange fantasy by the look on his face.

I walked away cautiously, hoping to go unnoticed. I took another glance at Gakupo. He was yelling something stupid and Kiyoteru brushed him off.

"Here, Luka, sit next to me," Len pulled out a chair.

"Uh, okay."

"So what did ya bring for lunch?" he pointed to the obento.

"Uh, yesterday's leftovers?"

"Mind switching? I had to order different stuff than Rin, so I ended up with food I don't like at all." Without waiting for an answer, Len pushed his plate towards me and took my obento.

"Ah—fine," I sighed. Then I took a look at the food that Len 'hated'. It looked…absolutely amazing. It was so fancy! You know how rich people food is. I'd never had something so lavish before…

I took a bite, and went to heaven.

How could Len not like this? It was sooooooooo good…

"I'm so glad you like it, Luka!" Gakupo cried. "Good job, Len. As a reward, I'll let you have my A lunch, so you can give me Luka's obento."

"No!" Len stuck out his tongue.

Rin took a seat on my left. "You like that, huh, Luka? Here, try some of mine~" she held out her spoon.

I looked at it skeptically.

Rin pouted, "C'mon, say 'aah'!"

Len ate the food before I could. "You're butting in. Get lost," he mumbled with the spoon still in his mouth.

Rin sat stock still, but the irritation was evident on her face. Silently removing her hand from the spoon, she picked up her soup bowl and launched it at Len…

…For Len to pull Gakupo within range of fire and have him take the blow.

Immediately a replay of first period commenced, and no piece of furniture was spared.

Needed more Granny Smith.

Gakupo sighed dramatically and lay his upper body across the table.

"If this keeps up," Kiyoteru noted, "We'll have to stop the Twincest. Designee rates for the Kagamines have definitely gone down since the fight started." He turned to me, "Oh, but Luka, you don't need to feel responsible for all of this. Even though your tactless comment was the cause of the feud. Right?"

Well, clearly he blamed me.

"It's weird for Len-chan and Rin-chan to be fighting," Piko said softly, playing with Tako-chan, "It's never happened before."

Kaito nodded.

"Yes, but until recently they've been very closed off from everyone else," Gakupo added. "Maybe this fight is a good thing for them."

"Who knows," I sighed, "Maybe it will be a turn for the better, but if this is their first fight, they're not gonna know how to apologize to each other…"

WHAT IF I COULD BREAK NECKS WITH MY MIND

No business in the Host Club today.

The room was piled with the looming pile of furniture, with Piko sitting on top (A/N: King of the hoooooooooooooard!). Rin and Len were still throwing whatever they could find at each other and screaming when they weren't being pummeled by a flying loveseat.

Gakupo twitched in annoyance, "Don't you two think you might want to make up soon? You twins are driving me insane."

"Driving you insane?" Len spat, "You've gotta be kidding me! Every time I look in the mirror I see Rin's face! I'm sick and tired of being mistaken for you, Rin! I hate your guts!"

"Took the words right out of my mouth, brother dear," Rin sneered coldly, "In fact, as proof of my hatred, I bought this, Belzenef the Cursed Doll!"

(O Fortuna plays to set the moooooooood [Thank you Mood])

"I'm going to write your name on it, Len," Rin continued, "From now on, you'll experience nothing but misfortune and sorrow!" she dramatically pulled out a Sharpie.

Ignoring Gakupo's wails, I ran forward, and in an act of true heroism, punched each Kagamine in the face.

"Would you guys KNOCK IT OFF?" I yelled, yanking Belzenef from Kaito-Rin's grasp, "You don't bring something like this into a petty fight! Both of you are to blame for this fight, but the saddest part is how you're bothering the rest of us with your idiocy!"

I saw the Twins' eyes widen as they held their cheeks.

"Now apologize! If you two don't make up right now, I'll never let you come to my house as long as I live!" I screamed.

Panting, I sat down after my rant. Piko brought me a water bottle.

I saw the Twins' mouths slowly close, and then fade into their trademark smirks. "So what you're saying is… if we make up, we can come over to your place?"

U-Uh, yeah, I guess," I stuttered nervously. What were they doing? I slowly turned over the wooden doll to see that instead of Len's name, it was written…

"Blank."

I almost screamed as the realization hit me.

The two resumed their Twincest pose, "I'm so sorry, Rin," Len cooed, "While following our script I said such awful things to you. I'm not fit to be your brother…"

Rin cupped his cheek in her palm, "How do you think I felt? I'd never be able to live with myself if I ever hurt you!"

"Rin, I'll never let you go again!"

"Len!"

Crap in a bucket…

Bonus Muffins if you guys can name any of the many, many references in this chapter and author's notes.

"I'm so glad you two have made up!" Neru squealed.

"It's time to play the which one is Len-chan game~" the Twins chorused.

"I know," Miku chirped, "Rin has blue hair, and Len has pink."

"We have a winner!" Len and Rin sang almost mockingly.

I walked past them, rolling my eyes, when I noticed something. "She didn't win," I commented.

The two turned to me with flat looks on their faces.

"Today Rin is the pink one and Len is blue. You guys swapped colors," I gave one last smirk, and walked off.

Rin POV

Luka sure was something. Telling my brother and I apart like that is no easy task. I stared off in her direction and sighed, looking back to said dense brother. He didn't seem to notice.

Figures. That line about Len being in love with Luka wasn't in the script, anyway.

Sorry about the long wait. Spring Break is this week for us crazy kids in high school, so I might be able to crank out one more chapter for you guys :)