Prompt: Ocean's Eleven, team, Leverage (the Ocean's Eleven team watches the show)

AN: I seem to have a thing on for dialogue-only fics where I don't tell you who's talking. Anyway...You probably need to know Leverage pretty well to get the jokes, and maybe have seen Ocean's 11 once or twice to get those jokes.

Enjoy!

TV Night

"That guy's pretty tough. What kinda fighting style is that?"

"Who cares? It's not realistic. No one can move that fast."

"I know a guy…"

"I said, no one can move that fast. Shut up and let me watch the show."

"You really know a guy who- "

"Linus!"

"Right."

"Where are they getting the money? Who's their money man?"

"They got enough money in their first heist, remember?"

"Oh yeah, stocks manipulation. Smart guy. I want him on the team."

"But I'm the electronics guy."

"Oh. Sorry. But this Hardison guy's a fictional character and you're not, so that means you're better."

"Aw, thanks, Danny."

"Shhhh!"

"I like that Parker. She's a looker."

"Her? Please. Stick with blond hair. Bendy stick, but she's got no…Naw."

"What, you like Sophie better?"

"Everyone thinks Sophie's hot."

"I remember one grifter long time ago, she reminds me of her. Oooh, she was…whew! I'm telling you…"

"I think Parker's hot, too."

"Parker 是有吸引力的."

"Okay, they're both hot, can we move on?"

"Ha! She just stabbed a guy with a fork. That's awesome."

"There's something wrong with you, Virgil."

"There's something wrong with you, Turk."

"Why you- "

"Why you- "

"Boys, break it up. Rusty, what is that? What are you eating?"

"It's a durian."

"Durian? It smells like baby shit."

"It's good. Want some?"

"No, why would I want to put baby shit in my mouth?"

"Your loss."

"Hey, that Nate guy's like you. Sort of. That's you and Tess, right there. Only his ex is blonde. He's got a more compelling storyline than you do, too."

"What?"

"Well, he does. All you have is pure jealousy. Guy steals your wife, you wanna get back at him by cleaning him out. But this guy, this guy, his kid died. That's tough."

"But he's a dick!"

"Eh, yeah."

"Yeah, but so are you."

"Who said that?"

"…"

"That shit does smell like baby shit, Rusty."

"Shut up."

"I think it smells more like old gym socks."

"Naw, it's like onions, rotten onions."

"榴莲是美味"

"Yen says they're a delicacy."

"Aw, man! What was that for? Now I smell like baby shit."

"Ha! See, it does smell like baby shit."

"Everybody shut up and watch the goddamned TV show!"

"But it smells."

"Shh!"

Chinese translation via Google:

"Parker is attractive."

"Durians are a delicacy."