MYTH: THE DESCENT OF PERSEPHONE INTO HADES or THE "KIDNAPPING" OF PERSEPHONE part 2

Note: Random Genderbends. Really random.

The Wrath of Demeter

Character Check:

Persephone: Romano

Hades: China

Demeter: South Korea

Zeus: England

Hera: Russia

Ares: Prussia

Artemis: Switzerland

Poseidon: Old Man of Europe who Wears of Mask- Turkey

Eros: Guess.

The sun's still in the sky- check.

The birds are still singing down on earth- check.

The apocalypse isn't happening anytime soon- check.

Ares is still grounded in his room (so what if he's already an adult? A mature adult wouldn't streak across Artemis while she was babysitting her adopted little sister, thus justifying the avalanche of arrow wounds that he was nursing in his room right now.)- check.

The Soviet Vodka Party is still disbanded- check.

The sky is still blue- check.

There are no undead armies trying to take over the world- check.

Zeus scribbled checkmarks onto his List of Things that Could Go Wrong and let out a sigh of relief. With his family, the earth would split open if milk was accidentally spilled on someone's robes. There was no such thing as overreacting; it would be perfectly normal if Poseidon decided to unleash a world wide earthquake epidemic, alternating between zones in a checker board pattern if he discovered shadows of bed bugs in his room. That didn't mean that Zeus had to like it.

Because Zeus didn't like it. He didn't like the noisy squabbles that his family were always in (wasn't it obvious that he was the one who's perpetually in the right? Was it really so hard for the others to shut up and mindlessly follow his lead, since he was their ruler and all?), he didn't like the sexual tensions that he had to resolve, he didn't like the quirks that his relatives insisted on having, he didn't like how-

Zeus didn't like a lot of things (his eyebrows, though, are sexy as hell. So he liked those). However, since the world seemed to be in relative peace, Zeus allowed himself a satisfied sigh, sinking into a random cloud and sipping tea, watching the random idiocies of his family from above.

Oh, look at Hades, taking a stroll in the mortal realm again. Green eyes followed the small dot, and from a birds eye view, noted as his brother settled down into a nap, next to someone. Who, Zeus didn't know, but he had better things to do than watching his brother. Like finishing that nice piece of embroidery that he started on.

...Embroidery is a manly business. It is so manly that it can make you cry.

Suck on that, suckers.

So it was while Zeus was working on (extremely) manly business that the sun set, the stars came out, and a cool night wind set in. That, my dears, is what real concentration should be like. When he finally noticed the change in time, he stood up and brushed some nonexistent dust off of him (because dust was forbidden to even exist on Olympus), then set off to his bedchamber.

While he was walking up his elegant path to his comfy bed that was just waiting for him to grace his sleeping figure on, a shape knocked into his head and made the almighty Zeus stumble.

"Bloody hell what the *censored* was that *censored* why can't anyone give me a *censored* *censored* when it's just so *censored* *censored* like *censored*?" He grabbed the shape in irritation, and dissolved in even deeper frowns when he found that it was a flying panda. A flying panda meant only one thing: A message from the Underworld. (Sometimes he wondered at his eldest brother's aesthetic senses, more than one drink had been spit out in surprise when the flying pandas were introduced as messengers from the Kingdom of the Dead.)

The note read,

Hello, my dear brother, I'm still a bit sore about that drug incident, but let's let bygones be bygones.

I have sent this letter as a reconcilement notice, since something miraculous and wonderful have happened to me today:

I am in love, and it was love at first sight (be jealous, be very jealous, you loveless jackass). Yes, you have not read that wrong, you faux-tea-lover-who-can't-stand-tea-without-sugar-and-milk. I'm just writing this letter to let you know about my matrimony. By the time you get this I'm probably already a married man.

From, you beloved brother Hades.

Aru.

Zeus promptly burned the letter and tossed the ashes into the air. Fancy Hades being a family guy! He couldn't picture it, but then again it wasn't his business. So what if his older brother decided to get a shotgun wedding? It had nothing to do with him. The only problems it might cause was the slim chance that the bride's parents didn't want their daughter being married to the King of the Dead, and that's easily taken cared of. Because who didn't want their daughter to be in a relationship with the gods of Olympus?

...Then again, who wanted their daughter to spend the rest of her days in the Underworld?

A few hours before...

His boy was beautiful. His little boy that he picked up in a flower field, just like an eye catching blossom that he had to have in his possession. A blossom that was going to be preserved in the Underworld. Just. For. Him. Hades was beyond pleased.

His pretty little boy, standing in the cutest wedding gown ever, cursing his brains out.

"What the fuck is with this? Why the hell am I in a fucking dress? And don't look at me like that, give me some proper clothes!" After another barrage of expletives, Persephone crossed his arms and glared at his husband-to-be. "I'm waiting. For proper clothes. Not some shit eating Greco wedding gown."

"MY CHILD IS MISSING DA ZE!"

And his husband-to-be just chuckled and pecked him on the forehead. "I know, I know aru. It would be insulting for a man to be married in a dress, of course aru! Obviously there's been a mixup, but this is just too cute, so let me look at you for a little longer?"

"No way in hell! You're going to get me some motherfucking proper clothing or-or- just get me some!" Persephone could go on and on, he could go on complaining about how nobody would just listen to him, how he doesn't care that this is cute- men aren't supposed to be cute!

"But you're barely a man, you're just a boy, really," said Hades. "Yes, you muttered the last bit out loud, because I can't read minds aru. Five more minutes, though. Five more minutes of cuddling and I'll have you in 'proper' clothes, and we'll get married."

The younger rolled his eyes, but otherwise relaxed into the arms of the elder. He could wait five more minutes. Just...

"Say, isn't this moving a bit fast? I mean," he fidgeted, "I only met you today."

"I HAVE TO FIND HER-IT'S HER BIRTHDAY! IT MUST BE MY FAULT DA ZE- EROOOS! HAVE YOU SEEN PERSEPHONE? SHE'S GONE! GONE!"

"But we have to seal the deal before your mother finds out and drags you away aru. She's very scary like that. And I fell in Love At First Sight! First time ever."

"I mmoh swer dw d," mumbled Persephone.

"...I don't understand a word you just said...aru..."

"I said," he gripped Hades' hands tightly, "I would never throw away a chance like that, so I understand. And- and- and you better treat me right!" He blushed, "I mean, since I'm going to be living here and all- well, that's a bit unfair but you have to run this place. And I swear, I'll treat you right, too. You can depend on me. I'll protect you! From-from anything," he concluded lamely at the amused look on Hades' face. "Don't be like that, bastard."

The "bastard" blushed, and hugged his boy tighter. "Hecate," he called, "get the real clothes for Persephone."

He brushed some nonexistent dust off Persephone (since dust wasn't allowed to touch what's his without permission in his territory. Family resemblance, anyone?) and pulled them up. All Hades knew about the boy in front of him was that he loved tomatoes, felt inferior to Eros, could garden like hell, was the son of his sister, had a rude personality, but was very, very, cute. And Hades could imagine living eternity with this boy by his side. That was why he proposed in the first place.

"I'm going to be taller than you, bastard. And then we'll see who's 'just a boy.'"

And all Persephone knew about the man in front of him was that he had a strange addiction to "cute" things (but sometimes he wondered), and he looked so clear cut and straight forward sometimes that-that-Persephone didn't know (he did know something about Hades' bad habit of copying). But he could try marriage and love for the first time, both at once.

"I wonder what my mother's going to say."

"WHAT IF SHE ELOPED WITH SOMEBODY SUSPICIOOUS? I WON'T ALLOW IIIIT! SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MARRY UNTIL-UNTIL- NOOOO MY LITTLE GIIIRL! MOMMY WILL ALWAYS HAVE HER BABY BY MY SIDE DA ZE!"

A hug.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of your mother aru. Now, I'm going to go and wait while you change, okay? Everything will be alright."

A smile.

"It better be, or else I'll sick the Roman mafia on you." Persephone didn't know where that came from, but it felt right, so he left it like that.

Nothing hurt Eros' ears more than a frantic mother gabbling on about something. Especially if the mother was Demeter. Eros didn't even know what Demeter was going on about- she was talking in such a fast pace and loud manner that he couldn't make out her words at all.

"Calm down, have some pasta."

"MY BABY! MY BABY!"

"It's okay, calm down and have some pasta."

"MY LITTLE GIRL! I HAVE MEMORIES OF WHEN SHE WAS BORN DA ZE. SHE'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN KIMCHI! MORE! I WOULD GIVE UP KIMCHI FOREVER FOR HER!"

"It's really okay. Calm down, and let's have some good pasta. And then you can tell me what happened! And we have pasta, which can solve any problem in the world." Eros didn't let Demeter's words affect him much, if only because they slid into one ear and out the other like raindrops on a special waterproof duck. Wait, aren't all ducks waterproof?

Demeter stopped and grabbed Eros' shoulders, pulling him up to her, nose to nose.

"My baby girl Persephone is missing da ze!" she hissed into his face. "I will find whoever is responsible and that person will pay."

...

...

"HE'S MISSING! HE'S MISSING! ALL SORTS OF THINGS CAN HAPPEN! HE COULD BE DEPRIVED OF PASTA! HE COULD BE TRAPPED IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE! WE NEED TO SAVE HIIIIIIIIIIM!"

"WE NEED TO! WE NEED TO! WE HAVE TO LOOK FOR HER, EROS! WE HAVE TO LOOK FOR MY LITTLE GIRL!"

"I AGREE, VEE! LET'S START HERE, IN MY HOUSE!"

They ran around Eros' house/mansion/villa/weird-architectural-structure-that-doesn't-really-look-Greek yelling out Persephone's name and trying to gauge where the avid gardener of the family was. Eros checked his bedroom, his guestrooms, attic, basement/ice room, in the kitchen, under the amphoras, inside his cups, and in a pinhole.

Demeter ransacked Eros' garden, making sure not to poison herself with his love plants, digging the dirt to see if her precious 'little girl' was buried under there. She checked the garden equipments to see if any of them are enchanted in any special way. This place being the property of Love, most things were enchanted, but none of them really special.

No, no, no. Not here. Not there. Not here. Not there. She ran frantically inside the house to see if Eros made any progress and bumped into him as he ran outside to see if she made any progress.

"She's not here," said Demeter.

"Ve, I checked everywhere in my house, I can't find him either!" Eros nearly cried at the thought.

"I looked through the field she was in before, but she wasn't there. I looked through Peloponnesus, Atticus, Macedonia, the Nile Civilization, Ethiopia, even Nubia- but she's nowhere in the mortal realms." Demeter did cry, leaning her head on Eros' shoulders. "I-I didn't forget her birthday! It's just that the surprise took a long time to arrange, and some things went wrong- and-and-" she realised with a shock, "she must have thought her mother didn't love her! Da ze."

The two of them then raced out of the place and looked all over the world for Persephone, this time in some not so mortal places. The secret chambers of the Delphi Oracle, Nereus' place, the end of the world where Hera kept her golden sunflower tree, the end of the rainbow and Iris' house, Zeus' bedchambers, Ogygia, and in some of the places where the flowers bloomed best.

Persephone was in none of those places. By the time the two of them went back to Eros' home, it was dark.

The goddess sobbed. "I want her back. I want her baaaack!" She led herself to the front door, shoulder hunched and still streaming tears down her face.

"It'll be okay," comforted Eros, steering her out of the way of his collection of True Love Couples That Destiny Tore Apart. "We'll find him. We will." Suddenly a thought occurred to him, and he grinned. "I know, ve! I know who we can ask!"

"Who?"

"Apollo! He has that sweet ride, the Sun Chariot, right? He sees everything that goes on!"

"...He does." Slowly Demeter lifted her tear streakened face up, lips cracking in a hopeful smile. "He does see everything-I'm going to go to him now. Bye, Eros!" She sprinted out, filled with a new resolve.

Which was a good thing for her kimchi supply, because Demeter liked comfort eating.

Apollo didn't have time for this shi- uh, waste of, uh, time. He had a dat- uh, meeting with Athena soon, and minutes spent trying to get a needy Demeter off his tail wasn't pleasant.

"Yes, I saw her," said Apollo, polishing his lyre. "Persephone, was it? The one with the curl who isn't Eros?" Without waiting for Demeter's replies, he continued stoicly, "Yes, I've seen her. She was pulled into a chariot by Hades and taken to the Underworld."

The pin dropped.

And Demeter's entire world turned around.

"Th-that's impossible! Why would oppa take her?"

Apollo had a very explicit idea of why Hades would want to take a defenceless young girl into his kingdom, but felt that Demeter had enough on her emotional plate. He decided to be kind, and pushed his glasses back up, glancing back at his aunt in his haughty manner.

"I am not Hades, now, how should I know? Perhaps he has finally fallen to your wiles and has taken your daughter in order to understand you more? I do not know what goes in the mind of the lord of darkness." He swept by her, sincerely wishing that his predictions were true, "Now, if you would excuse me, I have a meeting with someone."

Already Apollo could feel the pangs of guilt that happened every time he told a vague untruth. Perhaps what he said was true, though he doubted that. Perhaps Hades really had fallen for Demeter. Psh. Maybe when Ares realised his uselessness and bowed down before him, begging for forgiveness. He tried not to see the glimmer of hope that was rising in Demeter's face, the tears slowly drying, and Hope invisibly alighting on her shoulders.

Apollo paused. "Maybe you can arrange a meeting with Hades."

"I will," said Demeter determinedly. "I will go to oppa's house, and I will see if my Persephone is there. And if she is," She bit her lips, "...Well, if she is, then of course your prediction is right!" Grinning she ran off.