Author Note: This one isn't actually a request from anyone. The beginning is based on a true story. MY CATS ARE WEIRD.

Title: Bad Habits
Pairing: BorisxRei
Notes/Warnings: Homosexual relationships
Prompt (if a word or phrase): Don't ask. Just read.
From: Me?

"What is Felix doing?" Boris asked from over the top of his book, staring at the cat across the room. The animal was sitting primly with his fluffy grey back to Boris and his long-furred tail wrapped around himself. He seemed very intent on the object in front of him—which just so happened to be the garbage can.

"Licking your chewed gum," Rei answered casually without even looking.

"What? Damn cat. That's disgusting. Felix!" Boris leaned forward and stomped his foot on the floor. Felix looked over his shoulder and stared back at him with narrowed eyes, licked his nose, and then returned to his treat.

"Chewing gum is disgusting," Rei countered, just as casually as before. Boris glared at his back.

"Oh, and biting your nails isn't?"

That got Rei's attention. He swivelled the computer chair slowly to face the Russian, fixing him with a hard stare. Anyone else would have immediately apologized and run from the room but Boris was the only person with an immunity, much to Rei's displeasure. It didn't stop him from doing it, though.

"Find me a pair of nail clippers in a tiny Chinese village in the middle of nowhere, where everyone lives like it's still the fuedal era. Go ahead."

Boris gave a derisive snort and looked back at his book, turning the page loudly.

"And that," Rei added, his voice growing louder as he pointed at the offending object in the purple-haired man's hands. "I had no idea reading could be such a noisy act."

Boris closed the book with a hard snap and looked back at Rei as he lowered his reading glasses down the bridge of his nose. It was on.

"You know what else is loud? Your snoring."

"I don't snore!" Rei said shrilly. "But you crack your knuckles."

Boris raised his fists and slowly cracked every one of his fingers—twice—staring directly into Rei's eyes as he did so. The dark-haired man cringed at every pop.

"And you feed the cat from the table," he said when he was done.

"You leave your clothes all over the floor."

"You collect way too many stuffed animals."

"You never make dinner."

"Your hair gets into everything."

They were both on their feet now and stepping closer with each insult. It wasn't long before their faces were mere inches apart.

"You put work before me."

"You put the cat before me."

"You leave the water running."

"You don't put the cap back on the toothpaste."

"You never change the toilet paper roll."

"You put CDs back in the wrong cases."

"You never buy groceries."

Then their mouths were locked together so heatedly and with so much passion that neither of them could speak, and Boris' hands in Rei's hair and Rei's hands under Boris' shirt made all of their coherent thoughts disappear so that neither even had anything to say. Putting up with all of the other's bad habits was worth it for this.

Felix stared at them for a moment, then returned to his gum.