Yes, yes, I know I have a bunch of other stories (some of which I may put up for adoption before too long…if I get a bunch of angry PMs persuading me otherwise I won't do that). And I'm very sorry for teasing you with them….but frankly, I've got writer's block something fierce, and this is the only idea I felt I could pursue with any luck right now. This will be pretty much canon compliant, and I hope it will be enjoyable.

The Slytherin Notebooks

A small but worthy effort by Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Black to unite the noble House

Hello, Slytherins. It is I, James Potter, and my cohort—er, comrade—Sirius Black. We have stolen one of your notebooks and intend to use it for our own nefarious purposes. So we suppose we must thank our good friend Charlie Crabbe, who left this notebook in his Charms class.

James, shouldn't we thank the creators of these wonderful notebooks?

Oh, all right. We would also like to thank the creators of this notebook, Bellatrix Black and Lucius Malfoy. It's lovely and awesome and the best thing we've ever discovered, blah di blah di blah.

While we're thanking people, we would like to express our gratitude to our even BETTER friend, Marianne Wayne, a Ravenclaw who is learning the secrets of this notebook as we speak. Before long, all of Hogwarts shall be privy to your secrets! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Your secret admirers,

James Potter and Sirius Black

CHARLIE CRABBE, GET TO THE COMMON ROOM THIS INSTANT! –Lucius Malfoy

OWWW! You didn't need to yell! –Charlie Crabbe

GET TO THE COMMON ROOM, DAMN IT! –Lucius Malfoy

He didn't yell, Charlie. He wrote all in capital letters. –Bellatrix Black

It still hurt my eyes! –Charlie Crabbe

Serves you right. Hurt eyes will be the least of your problems, before too long. –Bellatrix Black

Bella, you do realize that if you tell him what will happen, he'll never come? –Andrew Nott

I didn't tell him! I just mentioned that he would encounter a lot of pain when he arrived! –Bellatrix Black

Oooh….things are looking bad, Charlie. You should keep hiding in that bathroom. Third one from the right on the fifth floor. –James Potter

Okay. Thanks, James! –Charlie Crabbe

JAMES! WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM WHERE I AM? NOW THEY'VE FOUND ME! –Charlie Crabbe

Heeheehee! –Sirius Black

If you Gryffindors are done tormenting your classmates, meet me in the library. I believe I've found the secret. –Marianne Wayne

I am an idiot. –Charlie Crabbe
I am an idiot. –Charlie Crabbe
I am an idiot. –Charlie Crabbe

Really, Lucius? That's the best punishment you could come up with? –Bellatrix Black

I am an idiot. –Charlie Crabbe

Well, what else do you want him to write? –Lucius Malfoy

I am an idiot. –Charlie Crabbe

I don't want him to write lines at all! –Bellatrix Black

I don't mind writing lines. –Charlie Crabbe

Write what we told you! –Lucius Malfoy

I am an idiot who doesn't mind writing lines. –Charlie Crabbe

Oh, come on, Lu! Lines are pointless. With his handwriting we can barely read it anyway. –Bellatrix Black

I told you never to call me that, Bella….—Lucius Malfoy

And I ignored you. Now, find something else for Crabbe to do before he clutters up these notebooks with his stupid lines! –Bellatrix Black

Oh, fine. Charlie? Come here for a second, will you? –Lucius Malfoy

Chocolate Frog, James? –Sirius Black

Don't mind if I do. This is getting good. –James Potter

Bella? Are you ever going to block those Gryffindors? –Narcissa Black

Trust me, Cissy. I'll raze their precious Tower, if I have to. –Bellatrix Black

Really? Our whole Tower? –James Potter

That seems a little harsh. –Sirius Black

I'd raze it to the ground! You know I would! Now get out of our notebook or so help me I will beat you senseless and bury you in hippogriff poo! –Bellatrix Black

Okay. We're leaving now. –James Potter

See you later, cousie! –Sirius Black

What in the name of Merlin's most baggy Y-fronts were you THINKING? –Lucius Malfoy

I didn't know he'd show it to McGonagall! Now shut up. You'll get me another detention. –Bellatrix Black

What is she making you do? –Andrew Nott

She's having me organize her desk, which happens to be full of scorpions. And I said shut up! –Bellatrix Black

Scorpions? Seriously? Who the hell keeps SCORPIONS in their desk? –Andrew Nott

McGonagall, apparently. –Lucius Malfoy

For your information, Misters Malfoy and Nott, they used to be the valued contraband of students such as yourself. I keep them in my desk as a reminder to never break the rules. Now, do you have a suggestion for what I should Transfigure Miss Black's notebook into, or shall I keep it until she can prove, once and for all, that she is trustworthy? –Professor McGonagall

….

….

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? –Lucius Malfoy

Please don't write all in capitals. Like Mister Crabbe said, it does hurt one's eyes. –Professor McGonagall

Keep it. Bellatrix can prove she's trustworthy, right, Lucius? –Andrew Nott

Oh, yes, most definitely. –Lucius Malfoy

I don't think she's getting that notebook back, do you, Sirius? –James Potter

Nope. Never. Good to see you, Professor! –Sirius Black

It's good to see you, too, Sirius. And you too, James. I believe I'll keep this notebook in my desk for safekeeping. –Professor McGonagall

DAMN IT! –Lucius Malfoy

Five points from Slytherin, Mister Malfoy. -Professor McGonagall