A/N: I don't own anything! Okay, so I made a BIG mistake and said something about the Wedding! I was thinking about breaking Dawn but I was trying to type about the birthday party! So this is in New Moon! Also a BIG Thank you to Dalonega Noquisi your comments have really helped me get these chapters out, before you commented I was about to give up on this story, so thank you!
"Hey, we should go on a trip." I looked over to Alice and smiled. I know she wants me to get away from all of this, away from Kathleen.
"I don't know maybe, I'm gonna go think about things." I kissed the top of her head feeling guilt wash over me. I can feel Alice's jealousy and fear, I know this is hard on her, how would anyone deal with this?
"I love you Jazz." She said with fake happiness. I nodded wrapping her into a short hug.
"I love you to Alice." Taking a deep unnecessary breath I left the house going deep into the woods before finding the river. This is my place to think, it's the only place I can really clear my mind. The sound of the water running and the mix of the fresh night air is perfect it's exactly what I need after a stressful day.
Picking up a few loose stones from the hard ground I threw them one by one into the water. I don't know what I'm going to do. I love Alice, she has molded me into what I am today, I have married her and have a great life with her and my new family. I would never do anything to hurt her and wouldn't want to see her sad, if it wasn't for her I don't know where I'd be today.
But then there is Kathleen, the first girl I have ever loved. She helped me when I was down and waited for me when I went off to fight. She never once strayed from me. But that was so long ago, I don't know if the feelings I felt back then are still there and I don't know if she feels the same way about me. Time changes so much, and I can't go back to change anything I have done. Even if I could I don't know what I would even change.
I never once thought I would be in this position, I had come to the conclusion long ago that Kathleen was dead and I would never be with her again. Above that I loved Alice married her and was happy again. I can't hurt these two girls, it wouldn't be right. But how can I choose between two people that I love more than my own life? How can I break someone's heart and then love the other?
As the anger built up inside me I threw the last rock in my hand into the water. Standing up I clenched my jaw as I thought over my decision. Maybe I should just see how things play out before I jump ahead of myself. As I ran back to the house I caught scent of Kathleen, I would know her smell anywhere after today. I followed the trail before I ran into her coming back from wherever she had been. She smiled sheepishly as she took a step back. I waved to her before looking over my shoulder.
"Jasper, what are we doing? I mean how does this work?" Looking back over she had her black eyes on me, watching every movement. Biting her lip she walked over to a big boulder sitting on top of it.
"I don't know, but I-"
"Exactly you don't know, neither do I…I have to get back I sort of ran off on Edward." She said just above a whisper, I don't know why but I can't feel her emotion, I can't sense anything about her it's like she is blocking herself off. I watched as she ran away, not attempting to go after her. She's right neither of us know what to do or how to handle this.
But knowing my life and knowing everyone in my life, I know that I should talk to someone about this just get another perspective and maybe even advice. I can't avoid talking to Kathleen and I can't avoid Alice either.
"Jasper, we are going over to the Hightower's for supper." Looking over to my mother, my eyes lit up. A chance to apologize to Kathleen about our fight, it's the only thing I can do at this point. I haven't seen him for days and I need to make this right before it's too late. Going upstairs I changed into something nicer to wear and washed up before heading back down stairs. Or way over to their house is silent but not uncomfortable. As we waited on the front steps for the door to open my mother patted my cheek.
"It's only a dinner." She said smiling up at me.
"Leave the boy alone Mary, he just likes the girl." My dad said in his gruff voice. I laughed them both off as the door swung open.
"Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock it is such a pleasure to see you both." Kathleen said with a smile as she stepped aside. "Please come in and make yourselves comfortable." As we entered Kathleen avoided eye contact with me as she chatted with my mother.
The dinner was surprisingly descent. We all talked and had a wonderful time although I just wish that Katie would talk to me. Sooner than I would have liked it was time to go. So I gave my departure and left. I only got to the porch before Kathleen stopped me. I turned with a somber face, she glared at me with those blue eyes.
"Jasper, I can't let you leave like this. I don't like what you are doing, not by any means but I love you. So I will support you, but you have to promise me something." I started smiling as she said I love you. She has never sad that before, granted I haven't either but this is the best feeling in the world to hear it.
"Anything Katie just say the word." She rolled her eyes leading me down the front steps.
"First, you can't forget me, not ever. Second, you have to come back to me. Third you have to marry me when you get back home, and lastly you have to kiss me right now." She jumped into my arms, her soft lips pressing against my rough ones. It's like heaven to have her this close to me. I feel as if I am flying. My hands went through her blonde hair getting tangled, her hands found themselves getting tangled in mine as well before she pulled back. Our breathing jagged, I can clearly see lust in her eyes but I cannot and will not let her do that with me. Not until we are married.
"I promise I will never forget you, I will come back to you and I will marry you Kathleen Marie Hightower, and I will share a thousand kisses with you. I love you Kathleen more than I should." She smiled and gave me a light peck on the lips before taking a step back and fixing her hair.
"Well, Mr. Whitlock you should be going." She said with a smirk as my parents immerged from the house, Kathleen's not far behind. I gave her a small nod before turning.
That happened to one of the best night of my life, we never kissed like that before and after that is was just pure passion and the need to be close. But I didn't mind, I still wouldn't mind to be that close to her again. But just as I have had those moments with Kathleen I've had so many more with Alice, so many moments that mean so much more than those I have had with Kathleen. It seems I'm at a loss; I haven't done anything to get me further in any decision.
A/N: Okay, so let me know what you think, and thank you to those of you that have added my story to their favorites, you have no idea how happy I am to see that somebody likes this story.