This is the sequel to my story "Ignition". That said, you DO NOT have to read Ignition to understand this! But of course you are welcome to. ;)

All you have to know is that this story turned semi-AU about halfway through season 3. It's actually not as complicated as it sounds: Knockdown never happened. The kiss in the alley never happened. Knockout never happened. The Captain is still alive. BUT the bomb and the freezer happened. See? Not that complicated. Following the events of Ignition, Castle and Beckett are dating. Everything else will pretty much be explained.

This is rated M. You have been warned.

Now Enjoy!

JANUARY 15th - Prologue I

Richard Castle was not a man that was easily scared. He wouldn't describe himself as an overly courageous hero, but he certainly had his moments. Normally it took major things like dirty bombs or serial killers to shake him up, but when Kate Beckett was staring at him the way she was right now, his heart was suddenly beating in his throat and his palms got sweaty. She was looking at him as if something was bothering her. As if he had done something wrong. As if she was tempted to run again, hide from this the way she used to.

It had been a normal evening for them; he had opened a bottle of her favorite wine as she had excused herself for the bathroom. With a heavy sigh he had settled down on his couch, wanting nothing more than to relax after the tiring case they had just closed. Kate had reappeared after a minute and sat down next to him. Somewhat unexpectedly she had avoided his eyes and remained silent for a minute.

He had given her whatever time she needed. Then their eyes had met and that look had been on her face.

He could deal with her when she was angry. Sad, even. He could also deal with all kinds of thoroughly pissed Kate, but he never knew what to say when she looked like she was about to run.

Rick swallowed thickly.

"What is it?" His voice sounded flimsy and weak even to his own ears.

"There's a toothbrush for me in your bathroom. And it's not the one you had left over that I had been using until now. You bought this one for me."

He felt a weird tingling in his stomach, an uncertain feeling of not knowing whether to feel excited or scared or both. He couldn't decide on which feeling to settle and figured that she probably couldn't either.

Her eyes were large, her fear badly disguised as she searched his face for questions and answers. Her toes were curling and uncurling on the carpet; she wasn't even hiding her nervousness.

"You have a drawer full of your stuff at my place," she whispered.

Rick's eyes widened and he couldn't help but move closer to her on the couch, their knees brushing. "Are we going too fast, do you want to take a step back?"

They had been together for almost 2 months now, which was both a long and a short time considering it had taken them 3 years to admit their feelings. The anniversary of Johanna Beckett's death had been last week and he had held her in his arms when she had broken down. Lanie had later told him that it had been the first time that Kate had ever let anyone else be with her on that particularly horrible day of every year. He had taken it as a positive sign, but had accepted a long time ago that when it came to Kate, a step forward could always be followed by two steps back.

She sighed. "No, it's just…"

"You're scared."

The moment it was out of his mouth he wanted to bite his tongue, but now it was too late. She gave an almost imperceptible nod.

"Of us? Of love?"

She looked down and fiddled with her father's watch.
"I love you, you know that" she said softly, but didn't meet his gaze.

"Tell me what you're scared of and I'll let it disappear. I'm good at that," he said and dared to lightly touch her cheek and turn her face to his. Not because he didn't believe her, but because he needed her to believe him.

He thought he saw the hint of a smile, but it was a melancholy one, a smile so dark that his heart sped up. His hand fell away from her face and settled on her shoulder, his other on her thigh, right above her knee.

"This you won't let disappear" she told him, her gaze dropping once more, and he had to wet his lips before he could talk again.

"I'll try, I promise. Just say what's wrong and I'll try to fix it."

He'd been in enough failed relationships to know that moments like this could be crucial. He wasn't going to let this one slip through his fingers. His hand on her thigh found her fingers and he gently took her hands in his and drew her closer.
"You know that we can do this at your pace. Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it. I'll even throw away the toothbrush I bought for you if that'll make you feel better."

She smiled softly, a genuine smile this time, but then turned serious again. She lifted her head and looked straight into his concerned eyes.

"I feel like I belong."

The emotions dwelled so quickly that he almost choked on his breath. His eyes closed and his head fell forward to touch their foreheads together.
"You're right" he whispered unsteadily, their noses brushing gently. "I won't try to fix that."

He felt as overwhelmed and moved as he had when she'd first told him that she loved him, that night after the incident at the helicopter hangar. When he pulled back and found her eyes again he saw the exact same emotions swimming there – fear, worry, love, hope. And just like that night, he wished with all his heart that the latter two would reign supreme.

"I love you" she whispered and he pulled her into his arms, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

"I know" he answered, because it had been more of an apology than a declaration.

His arms anchored her tightly to his body and his breath was warm and quivering against the nape of her neck. "And I know how much it means for you to say that."

"I don't want to be running, but I can't help it" she said, telling him what he already knew. "I wish I could" she added, barely a whisper.

He simply held her tight. "Just let it happen, Kate. Let go."

"I can't" she said, almost desperately, and paused. Minutes later – or it might have only been seconds - he felt her wet mouth against his neck. Then just behind his ear. He shuddered. Her teeth closed around his earlobe and her tongue flicked out. "Make me."

All blood shot south and he pulled back to find her lips. They would have to talk about this sooner or later, but for now this was enough. His strong hands pressed her body into his and his kiss made her worries disappear for the moment. When his tongue coaxed the first moan out of her, he stood up, pulling her with him. Her reddening lips left his, but her hands were busy with his shirt buttons even when they hurried to stumble up the stairs. As shirts were tossed carelessly onto the ground and Kate stood panting in front of him, her cheeks flushed, Rick thought it was a good thing that Alexis wouldn't be home tonight.

She had the button and zipper on his pants undone in record time, but he moved out of her reach and pulled the covers from his spacious bed. She crawled up towards the headboard and watched him intently as he followed to hover above her, his eyes full of love and care. He stretched to kiss her again and she relaxed into the pillows, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down with her.

Nibbling from her lips to her chin, Rick tried to catch his breath.
"I know everything with us still seems so scary and new…" he murmured. His fingers feathered across her shoulders and freed her from the confines of her bra. "…But new can also mean good" he said, his mouth hot against her throat. "Great, even."

His hand just barely skimmed the underside of her breast. She made an appreciative sound and dragged her hands down his back. When they slipped into the pants he still wore, he drew away. This time she wouldn't be in control. His hand on her shoulder stopped her gently when she wanted to raise herself up in protest. The muscles in her jaw flexed. He knew this wouldn't be easy for her.

She took a deep breath and tried to relax. This was far from the first time they had done this, but in the back of their minds they both knew that she had rarely given up all of her control. Even when passion clouded their minds, she had always been in charge.

"Let me" he told her and tasted the skin between her breasts. He never tired of touching her, kissing her, of seeing her skin flush with desire. He took the greatest pleasure in pleasuring her, something that he had never experienced in this intensity with any other woman. He took his time in spite of his own impatience. He knew the longer the orgasm was building, the harder it would shatter them.

"All you need to do is trust me" he whispered against the skin of her stomach as he gingerly dragged her pants down her endless legs, taking her underwear right with him and divesting himself of his own pants before he laid back down. His hands trailed back up the inside of her thighs when she was free of any garments, but his eyes rested firmly on her face.

Using his knowledge of her body, Rick touched her everywhere she liked to be touched while still neglecting the part of her that needed him the most, caressing her thighs, the back of her right knee, her left hipbone, just below her navel, that spot that made her back arch up. He was working her up towards climax with lips, tongue, fingers and sometimes just his breath until she grew impatient under him.

Her hands reached out for him, wanting to touch him and give back what she received, win back some of the control that she was currently losing thanks to his many talents.

He didn't let her.

"Do you trust me?" he asked as his left hand grabbed her hip to still her movements and his right circled closer to her already dripping wet center.

"Yes" she breathed and her voice hitched when one of his fingers slipped over and into her. His grip on her hip kept her firmly in place as his tongue dipped into her navel and then made its way lower.

Her eyes widened when she realized what he was about to do.

It wasn't as if he had never done it before, but it usually happened during one of their fast, playful rounds where everything happened so fast and in such a flurry of desire that they barely remembered the details of it afterwards.

When they took their time like now, exploring every inch of skin and letting the heat simmer until it consumed them before finally giving in to it, she had somehow managed to avoid this particular kind of touch.

Somehow underneath all her confidence, her teasing, there was something that had always stopped her when he'd advanced on her like that, because she knew exactly what it would do to her. She knew that one touch of his tongue on her would spiral her out of control, shoot her off all cliffs and turn her brain into a useless mass of mush.

She was no prude, open to anything from counter tops to bathroom floors, and they were extraordinary together, every time. But it made her feel vulnerable when he caressed her like that. It made her feel bare and open and raw and although it was such a great, fantastic feeling to have his tongue caress her, her need to stay in control, even in bed, was usually stronger. She'd always coyly played it down, distracting him enough to not let him wonder about it, but of course he'd noticed.

Before she could come to any conclusion or decision, another finger pushed into her and Rick murmured "Just let go, Kate" against her skin.

And then his mouth was on her and his tongue was playing with her clit and all she could think was "Oh god, Yes!"

Then she stopped thinking altogether and finally, finally let go.

He lifted his mouth to look at her as her throat produced the sweetest of sounds and her face lay bathed in the silvery light of the moon. His fingers kept pumping into her and as she slowly came down from her orgasm, she was right at the brink of another, lingering on that delicious edge that made her buck and arch into his touch. Her short nails dug forcefully into his shoulders.

"So close" she panted and he curled his fingers inside her. It made her scream, but it wasn't enough to make her come again.

"Do it again" she whimpered and he knew that she wasn't referring to what he'd just done with his fingers. So his lips were back on her heat and with some well-directed flicks of his tongue she came apart again.

A/N: *coughcough* Hi there. J I would really appreciate it if you told me whether you liked this. And yes, the beginning of this chapter was inspired by a cover of Taylor Swift's "Mine". There you have it, I confessed. Judge away, as Kate Beckett would say ;D

And before you get started on the loft and that his bedroom is downstairs – I know. But in Ignition, Rick's bedroom was upstairs, and I liked that dynamic so I'm not going to change it. :P

Thank you so much for reading!
Much Love,

Lina