Hey again! I just recently finished watching Gundam Seed Destiny: Special Edition and well it thrilled me to see Athrun in the Orb Admiral uniform so I decided to right a one-shot based on Athrun going back to Cagalli.
This is my first fanfic ever that I used the category Drama and I'm sorry if it's a bit too wordy. I guess I just got carried away but I couldn't help it! I just love, love, love Asucaga! Hope you like it though.
Disclaimer: If I own GS/GSD then Athrun would never have left Cagalli and re-enlist in ZAFT but he did so I don't own it.
It was a beautiful day at the PLANTS. Calm and serene, the kind of day one would wish to stay outside and do nothing but breathe in the cool air and take in the spectacular view. A man could be seen staring out the window, his emerald eyes in deep concentration. He failed to appreciate the sight in front of him for he knew that in a few hours he would be fighting the most important battle of his life. He sighed as went to do a final inspection, making sure he packed everything.
"It's not like it matters though, I can always ask Kira or Lacus to send it for me." He racked his hands through his midnight blue hair. "Stop it Athrun! If you're nervous now, imagine what will happen later!" He was about to pick up his luggage when he heard someone speak to him.
"So it's true then, you really are leaving." He knew the voice well and instantly he started to feel guilty. He didn't mean to, that was just the kind of person he was. Easily affected by how people feel.
"Meyrin..." He turned to face her but quickly looked away. He didn't want to see the look in her eyes. He knew that he was partly responsible for the way she was feeling. If only he told her sooner that he had no intention to be hers but he was just too nice to do it and now he knew that this would hurt her more.
"No! Stop it!" Meyrin screamed at him. "I don't understand? Why would you do this to me? To us? I thought that we we're... that you.. WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T?" She sank to the ground, her tears soaking the floor beneath her but she didn't care. She just wanted him to stay with her.
Athrun looked at the sobbing girl in front of him in surprise. He didn't know what to say. He never expected her feelings to be that deep for him. He slowly walked towards and placed an arm on her shoulder.
"Let go of me!" She violently shoved his hand away, her eyes burning. She took a few deep breaths. "Were you just playing with me? Toying with my emotions? I thought you we're different. I guess not. " She spat at him.
"Meyrin..." He slowly reached for her shoulders and to his surprise she let him.
"Athrun.." She looked at him through her glassy eyes. "Tell me, did I do anything wrong?"
He cursed himself mentally, if only he told her sooner, if only he wasn't such a coward then maybe he would not have been in his current predicament.
"Please, Meyrin, stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong in fact you did everything right."
"If I did everything right... then why.. why are you doing this to me? Why are you leaving me? I don't understand.. "
"It's because if I stay here with you, I would be hurting you more." By the look she was giving him, he knew she didn't understand. He took a deep breath and continued.
"We both know that a relationship cannot last if one person is not truly in love with the other. " Meyrin winced when he said this but she did not interrupt.
"Meyrin, during the war you helped me a lot, you took care of me, you we're there when I needed you but despite all that you have done, I can't seem to bring myself to love you beyond friendship. I know what I'm saying is ungrateful and cruel but if I were to stay here with you, I know that sooner or later I would have to leave for the person who has my heart and that person is in Orb."
"You still didn't answer my question.. what does she have that I don't? And don't you dare lie to me, I want the truth" Athrun smiled at her sadly before he replied.
"There is nothing she has that you don't." Meyrin looked at him in surprise. "Both of you are kind, sweet and caring. You both fight for what you believe in, even if it means disobeying orders. The difference you are looking for is not found in her but in me. When I'm with her, I feel like nothing could be better. Like the world is stopping just for us. It's only me and her and nothing else matters." Meyrin looked down; Athrun slowly lifted her chin so that she would look at him.
"If I pretended to love you, I would not only be cheating the both of us but someone else and that person is the one who is truly meant to love you." Meyrin's eyes were getting misty once again but this time not from sadness but from understanding. For she knew that everything he said was true. Everything was finally making sense.
"The person who is truly meant to be yours, the one who quivers when you talk to him, the one who melts when you smile at him and the one who shivers when you touch him." He smiled at her.
"I know that that person is still out there and he is still waiting for the chance to be yours and if I stayed, he would never have that chance. Staying here would ruin our chance of true happiness. Meyrin, if you find it hard to comprehend and if you need someone to blame, please do not blame yourself but blame me instead. Blame me for all the suffering that you are feeling, just please - "
"It's alright, Athrun. I finally understand." Meyrin smiled at him, a genuine smile. "It was wrong of me to force myself upon you and I am sorry. I just wanted you to be mine so much that I ended up not only hurting you but Cagalli as well." She looked down, ashamed of her actions.
"No Meyrin, we are both to blame. We let this charade go too far but we still have time to turn things around. How about we take that chance before it's too late?" She stared at him in disbelief and he beamed at her. "What do you say? Will you help me?"
Meyrin nodded happily and she reached over and hugged him. Athrun stood still at first but after a while he leaned in and hugged her back. When they pulled apart, Athrun got up and offered her his hand. To his surprise, she didn't take it. Instead, she quickly stood up by herself, grabbed his luggage and handed it to him. "Go get her, Athrun. She's been waiting for far too long, don't you think?" She smiled sweetly at him and Athrun looked at her, grateful.
"Thank you, Meyrin."
"No, thank you." She went to the door and opened it. "Go, it's your turn to fix this mess, mine will come later."
"Yeah." He nodded at her and gave her one last smile before he walked off, down the corridor.
Meyrin looked at him as he until he was out of sight then she looked out the window and wondered just when she would meet her special someone.
Athrun was still at deep thought s he walked out of the building. He sighed in relief, glad that he was able to leave this place without guilt. He got in the car and the driver took off. He stared at the scene before him and then he remembered something. Something he promised himself he would do.
"Stop the car!"
"Admiral Zala?" The driver asked nervously.
"Sorry, but we can't go to the base just yet, there is something I need to do. Please, would you turn the car around?"
"Of course, sir."
"Hi Mom."
Athrun said as he placed the flowers he brought for her on her tomb stone. "It's me again. I'm sure you're up there watching over me. I came to tell you that I'm finally going to do it, Mom. I'm finally going to get Cagalli back. Its strange how life turns out, don't you think? One minute I'm fighting to kill them and to protect the PLANTS and another I'm falling for a Natural and fighting to keep her mine. I better go now or else the jet will leave without me." He looked up to the heavens and smiled, the wind hitting his face.
"Wish me luck."
"Athrun! There you are!" Kira shouted the moment he saw his friend get out of the car.
"Hey Kira, sorry I'm late, had a couple of things to do." He grinned sheepishly at him.
Kira laughed. "Don't worry about that. You're here anyway and that's all that matters."
"Athrun!" Lacus ran over and gave him a big farewell hug.
"I wish you the best and that you'll be able to accomplish your mission but knowing you and your charm, I'm sure you will." Lacus giggled when the pulled apart.
"Thank for the vote of confidence." He gave her a small smile. He felt someone put a hand on his shoulder and saw Kira looking at him with pride. "Will be rooting for you, both of us." Kira nodded to Lacus who nodded happily in reply.
"Thank you, the two of you. I really appreciate this."
"What are friends for?" Kira said as he hugged his long time friend, twice turned enemy.
"Go on then, Athrun! I want to hear all the details coming from Cagalli." Lacus said.
The three of them laughed and after a few more minutes of saying good-bye. Athrun was finally heading back to Orb.
Athrun got out of the jet and the first thing he heard was.
"Looks like lover boy finally arrived."
"Lieutenant Mu La Flaga!" Athrun said in surprise.
Mu scoffed. "Don't call me that kid. We both know that, I'm not your Lieutenant. Besides, that makes me feel old. "
"Sorry, sir." Mu sighed and he gave Athrun a pat on the back except it was a bit too hard and Athrun winced. "You're too polite for your own good. Oh well, guess that's one thing the princess likes about you."
"Mu!"
"Hehe.. Just kidding..." He scratched the back of his head.
"Captian Ramius." He saluted at her and she saluted back.
"Long time no see, Admiral Zala." His cheeks flushed but nevertheless he was proud to be recognized as an Admiral by the people of Orb.
"Okay, enough of this. Get going before Kisaka starts wondering if your ride crashed or something."
Athrun nodded politely. "Thank you, s.."
"It's Mu, kid."
"Right, thanks Mu."
"Now that's much better." He waved his hand at him.
"Captain Ramius."
She nodded in reply.
"By the way, good luck!" Mu called out when Athrun was a few feet away from them. He looked at them, smiled and continued to his destination, the car that was taking him home.
"I'm almost there, just a little while longer, Cagalli."
When Athrun finally reached the Athha Manor, his heart was beating really fast, so fast that he was having hard time breathing.
"It's good to see you again, Admiral Zala." Kisaka gave him offered him his hand which Athrun took and shake. Kisaka was amused by the look on Athrun's face. He smirked slightly.
"You have to calm down or else you're going to pass out before you get the chance to talk to her."
Athrun gave him a nervous smile. "Sorry, I just have to, have to get this right. It's my only shot."
"Hmm, well, I suggest you take a breather, besides it's not like you're going to ask her to marry you, again or was that first ring only a promise ring?" This time Kisaka didn't hide his smirk and Athrun quickly avoided his gaze. His cheeks tainted red.
"So, shall we start walking?"
"Err, yes, right."
The two of them walked in silence until they reached their destination. Once they were outside the door, Kisaka raised his hand and Athrun stopped abruptly.
"Let me talk to her for awhile."
Athrun looked at him puzzled. "I'm just going to inform her that the new Admiral is here."
"Ohh, I see."
Kisaka slipped inside, leaving Athrun to his thoughts.
"Lady Cagalli." Kisaka said once he was inside. "The new Admiral is here."
Cagalli didn't bother looking up; she was too busy reading the documents in front of her but then she stopped and looked at Kisaka questionably. "Wasn't he supposed to arrive tomorrow?"
"Yes, well, I guess his jet arrived a day sooner."
Cagalli sighed; she didn't have time for this. She was much too busy but it was one of her duties to meet with the new officers, after all, they will be protecting her country.
"Fine, whatever, let him in." She dismissed him with her hand while she continued reading the documents. Kisaka bowed and exited.
He gave Athrun an encouraging smile once he saw him. "It's time. Good luck and please remember to breathe."
"Right, thank you." Athrun walked passed him and quietly slipped inside. He stared longingly at the blond in front of him and then he smiled. "She's so busy; she won't even look at me, typical Cagalli." He walked all the way to the front of the desk and the entire time, Cagalli didn't notice him. When he was close enough he spoke.
"It's good to see you again, Representative Athha ."
Cagalli stopped working. Her eyes widened in shock and in recognition. "That voice, could it possibly be? No! There's no way!" She didn't want to look up, fearing that if she did, she would break down. She has tried so hard this past few weeks forgetting about him and if that person standing in front of her really is him, she wouldn't know what would happen.
She slowly looked up and was met by those kind emerald eyes.
" Cagalli.." He said softly, he gave her a warm smile.
"Athrun.." She felt her eyes watering and the she did something that surprised both herself and Athrun. She quickly ran up to him and hugged him. They landed on the floor with a thud and the ring, now attached to a necklace, flew out of her jacket. Cagalli cried freely on his chest as he embraced and whispered loving words in her ear while rubbing slow circles on her back.
Cagalli gripped the jacket of his uniform. She didn't want to let go, no, she never wanted to let go because she didn't want to stop and then realize that this was all a dream. The barriers that she had formed all came crashing down in an instant. She knew she would curse herself later for it but it didn't matter. Right now was all that mattered and right now she wanted to hug him like there was no tomorrow because no matter what she told herself, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself that there was nothing going on between them, that he was nothing, she knew, more than anything that those feeling were all just lies and this, this moment was real.
Athrun held her tighter as he rested his head on her hair. He never realized how much he truly did miss this person who he was holding on to. He closed his eyes and he prayed that when this was all over, they would finally be together again. The way it was supposed to be. They way it was always supposed to be.
"Athrun," Cagalli finally spoke, her fist still holding on to his jacket. "Why did you come back? Why did you have to come back? I was perfectly fine without you and now you're ruining everything! I gave you up and then you just have to come back! Do have any idea how hard that was for me to do? Then you just suddenly show up and.. and... Dammit Athrun!" She slammed her fist on his chest. She cried harder.
Then she looked at him with her golden eyes and despite every emotion that was shown, he was surprised and pleased to see relief. He smiled and instantly realized his mistake for her eyes shown nothing but anger.
"Do you think this is a joke? If you came all the way from the PLANTS to tell me that, then get the hell out of here!"
"No! Cagalli, wait!" He swiftly grabbed her before she got away and held her tight, so tight that she stopped struggling because she knew she would never escape so she decided to use the only weapon she had left, her eyes.
She glared at him and in respond, he lovingly touched her face. She felt her pulse quicken. He looked at her with so much pain and regret, that it broke her heart but she would not give in for he hurt her too, instead she snapped her head away and stared at the floor. Her brows furrowed in frustration.
"Cagalli.." He said tenderly.
"You have no right to speak to me like that!" She screamed at him. "After what you've done... " She looked away and closed her eyes, forcing herself to be strong and not cry.
"I'm sorry.." He looked down at the blonde as if mentally telling her to look at him.
"Tell me, Athrun, do you want to be happy?" She asked him. He blinked, taken aback by her question. "Of course, I do."
She sighed. "Then get out of here while you still can, because I'll never be able to give you the attention or affection that you deserve."
"Is that the reason you left me?" Trying his best to keep his voice even.
"Yes." She said with a straight face.
"You left me because you thought I am a child who needs to be pampered?" He exploded.
"Wait, what? I did not say that! Stop changing my words!" She screamed at him, with the same intensity.
"Then help me understand as to why in the world would you think that those reasons are valid enough to let someone go!"
"Because it's not fair for me to keep you even though I know that I could never make you happy! Don't you see, Athrun! I have a country, with people who are relying on me to lead them! I knew that letting you stay with me would only hurt you more so I had no choice! I had to do it! I had to let you go!" She felt the tears were returning.
"No!" Athrun shook his head violently. "You're wrong, Cagalli! You leaving me and letting me go is hurting me much more! Why can't you understand that I love you? That I will always love you and I will never stop loving you!" He slowly started to calm down. Cagalli couldn't help but stare at this man. A man who could do so much better but yet choose to come back and follow her.
"Athrun, I, didn't mean too, I didn't know... I..."
"Cagalli," Athrun cut in. "I need you please realize that I can never let you go."
He slowly reached up to touch her cheek.
"I need you to realize that I will always be here for you, I will never leave you, no matter what. Those months I spent in the Minerva, those months away from you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. You were and you still are my reason for living. I know that you have a responsibly to your country and I understand that. I really do but what I don't understand is why you have to push me away when I know that doing this is hurting you as well."
He slowly removed the ring from her necklace and slipped it back to where it belonged, on the fourth finger of her left hand.
"I love you, Cagalli Yula Athha, and it hurts me to know that you think I'd be happy without you because I will never be happy without you. You are the only person who can bring me happiness. You are the person who makes me feel alive and I am willing to do everything to make you see that, just please, please give me a chance."
Athrun looked down and took her hands in his. He waited for her reply. After a few minutes, he started to panic. He was afraid that she would turn him down and walk away from him yet again. Then he felt it, a light pressure on his hand. He looked up to find her smiling at him, the kind of smile that took his breath away.
He pulled her into a hug, tears where slowly falling and he knew that she was crying too.
"Thank you, Cagalli." He whispered.
Cagalli was the one who broke the hug, she touched his face and now it was his turn for his heart to skip a beat. "I love you too, Athrun. So, so much and I'm sorry for what I did."
Athrun smiled at her. "There's nothing to forgive." Then slowly he leaned in and kissed her. Cagalli stiffened at first but soon she found herself kissing back and ran her fingers into his dark blue hair. Athrun pulled her closer and used his other hand to deepen the kiss.
The battle was finally over and Athrun had won.
Okay, maybe it's not as wordy as I thought... well, hope you liked it, please review! Till next time :)