Disclaimer: Why yes, I own Square. (My webcomic is named Square)

A/N: This is kind of a continuation to 'Pink'. Why is it called 'Houston?', you ask? Well, it has nothing to do with Houston. But they sure do have a problem.

Also, want to see Sephiroth as Rapunzel? Take out the spaces and you've got lots of Sephiroth in weird and/or pink clothes! http:/ www. storm-artists. net/ view/ 115464

Houston?

"Zack, we have a problem." A short, spiky-haired blonde perched on the edge of a chair in the lounge on the SOLDIER floor. Zack was nearby, doing squats.

"Cloud, we have so many problems that we're the reason ShinRa never hired psychologists: no one wants to deal with that crap!" Zack laughed, standing and combing his fingers through his black spikes before sprawling onto one of the couches. He tucked his hands behind his head and spread his feet out, looking at the boy in front of him.

Cloud was giggling, one hand over his mouth as he tried to hide his amusement. Zack cracked a grin; he loved making Cloud and anyone else laugh, even if it was at him. "Okay, but this is a new problem," Cloud said.

"Really?" Zack raised a single black eyebrow as he leaned forward curiously, his hands dropping onto his knees. "If it's about Genesis wearing anything weird and/or pink, I don't even want to know. Last time that happened, I almost got fireballed into the next dimension." Cloud rolled his eyes and reminded Zack that 'fireballed' wasn't a word. "It is when you're around Genesis!" was Zack's protest.

"It actually has to do with Sephiroth," he said.

"Is he wearing something weird and/or pink, because I don't want to know about that either," Zack said.

"Not this week."

"So what is it?"

"It is pink, actually," Cloud admitted.

"Okay, but you know I'm not good with pink," Zack said with a frown. Well, as much of a frown as ever appeared on the optimistic SOLDIER's face. "It just reminds me of Aerith, and when I start thinking about Aerith, I totally space out and Angeal has to yell at me to get me to pay attention to anything else… it's just bad."

"Someone dyed Sephiroth's hair pink," Cloud explained.

Zack smacked his knee, nearly jumping upwards in excitement at the cadet's words. "SERIOUSLY!" he shouted, now very interested. "How the heck did anyone manage to get that past the General! Did they put it in his shampoo or something? No matter; who did that!"

"They think it was you," Cloud sighed, crossing his legs.

"You kidding? I'm not that good. Sephiroth would notice if I tried," Zack said. "Did you know he caught onto every single practical joke I've attempted to pull on him? Yeah. He has."

"Who was it, then?" Cloud asked.

Zack shrugged. "I'unno. Maybe Reno."

For a moment, the two boys puzzled over the perpetrator of the sudden pinkness having overcome the General's hair. Zack leaned forward, resting his head on one of his hands and furrowed his eyebrows, and Cloud stroked his chin thoughtfully, leaning back in his chair.

When Hojo walked down the hallway, cackling like a madman, Cloud rocketed out of his chair and leapt onto Zack's lap in pure terror. The chair fell backwards with a loud bang, and Hojo whirled around to face the two boys. Cloud was shaking and trying to hide behind Zack, who was just looking repulsed as he wondered when the last time the greasy old man had washed his hair was.

"What are you doing?" Zack asked the professor.

"I… wasn't doing anything…" Hojo replied, his eyes shifting left and right as he searched for a way to get away from the boys.

"Except laughing like a creeper," Zack replied. Cloud squeezed his arm more tightly. The young cadet thought that Hojo might turn them into toads if they insulted him, and so he really wanted Zack to stop.

"Well, I merely heard your conversation and I thought that it was exceedingly funny that someone dyed the General's hair pink whilst he was asleep," Hojo snipped, stalking off down the hallway moments later. Cloud suddenly noticed that he was quite close to Zack and leapt off of his friend, seating himself at the other end of the couch.

"Hey, Cloud…" Zack said, "did we tell Hojo that someone did it while Sephiroth was asleep?"

"No… we didn't mention it," Cloud replied.

Both boys glanced at each other at the same time, two pairs of blue eyes lighting up.

"Holy chocobos, it was Hojo."