On the Ferris Wheel A/N: So I wanted to write a cute and fluffy one-shot… And I did, here it is:
"I told you already. I don't want you to feel like a third wheel."
Ed groaned at the bastard's lousy excuse. "Fuck off, Mustang. If there's a wheel, it's you! Fourth wheel that is. I don't wish to see your smug face outside your office. You know, it's called amusement park for a reason. And being with you sure isn't amusing to me."
Mustang smirked. "Take it easy. I'm not here to pick a fight with you. I'm here to enjoy your lovely company." Ed groaned. Oh that bastard sure knew how to ruin his day.
"Oh really? It sure doesn't sound like it…" Mustang snorted. "Come on, look at those two."
Ed for once did as he was told and looked at his brother and his childhood friend who were at one booth where you were supposed to shoot some cans down to get a stuffed animal. Ed didn't understand the point of it. Even though he always grimaced when he even held a gun, he knew he could shoot all the canes down. Who couldn't…? Well, apparently Al couldn't, judging by the way he smiled at Winry and looked pretty awkward. Ed noticed that Al was about to give it another go and he was already opening his mouth to yell at his brother for wasting money like that – money Ed had earned himself… But then Winry stopped him and she tried. And succeeded immediately.
"That's pretty lame, don't you think?"
Mustang smiled which was pretty weird because Ed didn't remember ever seeing him smile.
"Not really, I think it's rather sweet as first dates tend to be. You get it now?"
Ed didn't answer because he hated admitting that Mustang was right. He hadn't realized it by himself, realized that Al and Winry obviously looked like a couple having their first date. Maybe they just didn't realize it yet but it was pretty obvious, seeing the way they kept on glancing at each other, when they thought the other didn't notice. And Ed was far behind them but it seemed that they didn't even notice, not Ed, not anyone else in the whole world.
"Whatever, I'm going home."
Ed turned around but Mustang grabbed his hand. "Home? Why leave when you just came here?"
Seriously, why was Mustang making Ed so irritated every time he just saw him?
"You know why! It's obvious they want to be alone."
"You know what, Fullmetal? I'm not going to let you go."
"Huh? What the hell is with you?" Ed grabbed is arm free from Mustang's grip. "I want to go to the ferris wheel."
Ed rolled his eyes. Seriously, what was with the bastard…? "Go by yourself, why the fuck would I have to do something as miserable as go with you?"
Ed glanced at Mustang and blinked when he saw the serious expression on him. "Please, Ed."
Ed turned his gaze away. What the hell…? Being so serious suddenly… Calling him by his first name…
"Fine, I'll go. But if you're gonna make fun of me or say anything irritating, I will throw you down!"
Mustang smiled. "I'll be a good boy, I promise."
Ed snorted.
Honestly, what was he doing…? Queuing for the ferris wheel with Mustang of all people. Ed wondered where Al and Winry were and if they had noticed that Ed wasn't with them anymore. Ed had noticed the looks they had been exchanging once Al had gotten his body back and in normal condition… but even when Ed had seen them, he hadn't completely digested it, not until Mustang had pointed it out. Ed had nothing against it. Even if he had a crush on Winry back when he was a kid… but now Winry was just a friend for him, even thinking of going out her felt weird. And of course, Ed wanted Al to be happy. And Ed knew that with Winry Al would be.
But that didn't change the fact that the thought of the two of them going out made Ed feel lonely. Of course he would be in the way… But he would get used to it, right? Or maybe he would find someone he'd be interested in too? But besides the childhood crush for Winry, Ed had never really cared about girls that way. Well, he hadn't really had time for girls either, because he had been trying to find a way to bring Al's body back and it had taken years. But now he had done it and Al was moving on… but what about him? Ed glanced at Mustang who was standing beside him, being surprisingly quiet.
Neither of them talked when they got on the wheel, sitting beside each other. And then Mustang finally ended the silence. "You know… I used to come here with my dad when I was a kid. We always rode this, the ferris wheel." Ed glanced at him, wondering why Mustang would tell him something like that… It was personal. And Ed knew for sure that Mustang really wasn't the type of person who would just blurt out something personal… so why now, why for Ed? "Oh…? At least your dad was there for you…" Ed felt the familiar grudge rising in him. And why wouldn't he feel grudge towards his father? Or more likely: the asshole who left them, made their mom miserable and was not there when Al and he would've needed him. Ed had every reason to hate him.
"He was. Just before he and my mother died, he promised that we would come here again… that was the only time he broke his promise," Mustang said, smiling somehow absent-mindedly. Ed swallowed and yet again he had to wonder why Mustang would tell him something like that. But it was not like Ed wasn't interested. This Mustang wasn't the bastard from the office whom Ed couldn't stand. This one was… different.
"You lost your parents…?" Mustang nodded. "I was 6 when they got into a car accident." Weird… Ed could've never guessed that Mustang had such a background… "Oh. Who took care of you back then?"
"My aunt, Chris. She has always been good for me. But no matter how good she was, she could never be my biological parent. So, I always missed my parents. I still do. Sometimes I wonder what they would think of me now…"
Mustang stared out of the plastic window and somehow Ed didn't know how he should be.
"Um… I'm sure they'd be proud of you…" He meant it. Even though Mustang was always teasing him and all, Ed knew that he wanted to become the Fuhrer so that he could change things, so that there wouldn't be wars. And Mustang had to care about him and Al; why else would he have protected and helped them all those years? Now that Ed thought about it, Mustang was pretty intelligent. He knew lots about alchemy. He wasn't bad-looking either, not at all… If Mustang only wouldn't be the bastard he was… wait. What was he thinking? If Mustang wasn't the bastard he was, then what? Then nothing, Ed told to himself, suddenly feeling uneasy.
Mustang glanced at him. "You're actually saying something nice to me? Do you feel sick, are you having a fever?"
Ed groaned as Mustang smirked, placing his hand on Ed's forehead. There he goes, being the bastard he was… it irritated Ed. For the first time, he felt that he had actually seen the person Mustang really was…
Mustang slid his hand down from Ed's forehead to his cheek. "Um…?" "You know. I was always scared of ferris wheels. Back when I went with my dad too. Especially at the top… but my dad held me, telling me it was okay. So I forgot about my fear. But I think I'm still scared. I haven't dared to come near one, not after I went with my dad for the last time… not until now."
What the hell? Mustang was scared of Ferris wheels? Then why the hell would he get up on one?
"You don't seem like a person who's scared," Ed snorted.
"I only fear at the top. Where the fall is highest. And since we'll be soon at the top, I think I need some distraction."
What was with him? Ed hated that confused feeling, how he just wasn't able to read Mustang, to see what he was thinking… he wish he could know.
"What the hell? Why would you get on one when you know you're scared? What's the point?"
Why did he look so serious again? Why Ed couldn't tear his gaze away those dark eyes?
"Because I knew that with you I wouldn't be afraid. But still, I really need distraction…"
Why was he saying stuff like that? And why was Ed's heart beating suddenly so fast even though he was only sitting? Sitting there, beside Mustang whose face was suddenly so close – was he leaning closer? Yes. But why…? And Ed got his answer when lips pressed against his own. The touch was light, almost bashful. Mustang moved his lips, brought his hands to Ed's neck, caressing his skin with his thumbs… Ed stared at Mustang's closed eyelids but then he had to close his eyes, for he wanted to focus on feeling it, the exciting sensation of Mustang's lips, his touch… It felt… good.
And then he pulled away and suddenly Ed felt that he was so far away, too far away even when they where both in that small booth together. And then Ed realized that he had gotten his first kiss. From Mustang. From… Roy. Perhaps it was time to start calling him by his first name… What was going on? Suddenly Ed's head was spinning, he couldn't focus and he had no idea why Mustang had just kissed him! For distraction, he had said… And why hadn't Ed pushed him away? Why hadn't he been disgusted? Why had he liked it?
"Look, Mustang… I'm sick of your games; this is just a new way of teasing me, right?"
Ed didn't want to see his face, his expression. What was wrong with him? It was Mustang, Ed was supposed to kick his ass and call him a bastard!
"No, why would you ever think that?"
"Because that's what you always do! You make fun of me because for you it's fun to make me pissed but you know what, Mustang? I'm a human too! I have fucking feelings too! And if you think that you can kiss me and then make fun of me then… FUCK YOU!"
Ed stopped and breathed heavily, seeing Mustang's shocked face. "Ed… I wasn't teasing you. I meant it. I… have feelings for you. I mean… I really care. About you so… I've never really wanted anyone to come near to me, I've always kept a distance because I learned quickly that it's too easy and too painful to lose those who you love… but then you came. And you always tear down my barriers and it was so irritating, so… frustrating. I wondered to myself: how was someone like you able to do it while no one else could? And before I knew, I found out that I was already in love with you…"
"In love… with me? Why would you love me?"
"Well… I think it's because – when I'm with you, somehow… I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid to pull down my barriers, to let you see the real me. And if I only think of losing you, I'll go crazy… even though you're not even mine. But when it's you, I would take the pain. If only I can have just a tiny little moment with you… it would be enough for me. You're the strongest person I know. If it were you to whom I would give myself to… then, I know, I wouldn't be afraid."
Wow, that was… unexpected. And really weird since just a moment ago, Ed had thought… Thought that he could actually be attracted to Mustang. Maybe.
"If you're so in love with me, why the fuck do you always tease me?" Yes, that was exactly what Ed wanted to know. He glanced at Mustang to see an uneasy expression on his face.
"Because… I want your attention."
Stupid. That was the stupidest thing Ed had ever heard in his life. But when he looked at Mustang, he could see that he was being honest for once.
"You know… you don't need to fuck with me to get my attention."
Mustang raised his eyebrows. "I'm kind of disappointed. I thought fucking you was the only way to get your attention besides teasing you…"
Ed felt his cheeks warm up quickly. "I didn't say that!"
The familiar smirk appeared on Mustang's face. "Yes, you did. You said: 'you don't need to fuck me to get my attention'." Ed groaned. "That's not what I meant and you know that, you asshole! You know, for a moment there I really thought 'maybe'! Since you're pretty smart when it's about alchemy and because you've always cared about me and Al and you're quite good-looking! I thought I could actually be attracted to you! But you know what, Mustang? I regret I thought something as stupid as that! You're just a bastard, that's all."
Ed closed his mouth. Fuck, he had already said too much! No way in hell Mustang would let that perfect chance of teasing him go by! He would be all 'so you think I'm good-looking?' and shit and then Ed would really regret for saying that stuff aloud to him…
"Sorry," Mustang said against all odds. "You know, I never mean it when I tease you. I would never do something like that to someone who didn't matter. I'm not that good at showing my feelings and I show my affection by teasing those I care about."
When would the ride stop? Ed didn't want to hear a single word! He hated it how Mustang was like that, making Ed feel so confused… He wanted to get away from him. Just as always… Ed couldn't stand the man because he was so irritating so he didn't want to see him; he always wanted to get away from him… a sudden thought struck him: what if… what if he was always running away from Mustang because he didn't want to admit it to himself? Admit that he had always… felt for the bastard… No way! That was not it!
"Mustang, could you just shut up? I really don't want to hear that shit."
"Sorry. It seems that I've confused you."
How had he known? And why did he keep on apologizing? And why… why didn't Mustang say anything anymore? Why did he keep on staring at Ed? Ed hated to admit it to himself: the fact that he knew Mustang was staring at him… it made him feel self-conscious on a whole new level. He hated the fact because he knew well enough what it meant…
Finally the ride was over and Ed was the first to get out. If he would have to listen to Mustang's bullshit for a moment, then he would… he would what? Ed had no idea what he was thinking.
Ed was pretty annoyed that even though he was walking fast, Mustang didn't seem to have any problem keeping up with him. Must be because he has those freakishly long legs…
"I'm glad that I got to come with you."
Ed glared at him. "You didn't come with me; you tagged along and dragged me to that damn ferris wheel."
Mustang smirked. "I'm sure I could arrange coming with you." Ed turned away and blushed. What the hell was that bastard saying again? Implying something like… that…
"Damn, it's hard not to tease you… but from now on, I'll try."
Ed snorted. "Don't bother. Besides, it freaks the shit out of me if you're being all nice…"
"So… you like me the way I am?" Ed glared at him, grabbing his collar. "Look, you bastard, I didn't say anything like that!" Ed froze when Mustang raised his hand, brushing Ed's hair. "A leaf," he pointed out and held a red leaf in his hand. Ed let go of him and turned his back on the man. Shit, why was his heart beating so…?
"Oy, brother!"
Ed startled and raised his head to see Al and Winry who were coming towards them. "Where did you disappear? We were worried, you know." Ed fought the urge to roll his eyes, he was sure they had realized a few minutes ago that he wasn't with them… "We just rode the Ferris wheel, that's all," Mustang said and Ed glared at him yet again. "You did…? Together?" Ed groaned. "Yes and it was painful. So painful that I just want to go home now." Al and Winry glanced at each other but shrugged. Ed watched them as they walked, staying behind with Mustang. Huh, they really did look like a happy couple… And when Ed saw that Winry grabbed Al's hand, he couldn't help but smile. Maybe it wouldn't take long for them to get married and to have kids… and then Ed remembered again: he would be so lonely…
Ed startled when suddenly a warm hand grabbed his own. Ed glanced at Mustang who was looking at him. Oh right… Ed had forgotten to worry about being alone when he had been with the bastard… and they had kissed… And now Mustang expected that he could hold his hand. What the hell, two men holding hands...? Ed didn't want to imagine what it looked like… so why couldn't he just pull his hand away from Mustang's grip? Why was he, after hesitation, squeezing back, if only a bit? And why he was feeling all light and funny when he saw from the corner of his eye that Mustang was smiling?
He wasn't in love with him, he didn't love him… but he realized that he could be, someday. And somehow that thought didn't frighten him. "Well… I think it's because – when I'm with you, somehow… I'm not afraid." That was what Mustang had said earlier, right? Maybe it was mutual. Ed knew well enough that he had always trusted the man. He knew that he would protect him. And he didn't have to hide anything because Mustang already knew everything about him. Suddenly, his mother's face appeared in his head. The look on her face when the door opened, the disappointment when she realized it wasn't the one she had been waiting for. The way she used to cry when she thought that Ed and Al were sleeping, even though Ed was awake, hearing every single sob from her, hating his dad more every night.
How could Ed guarantee that he wouldn't be that miserable? How could he guarantee that Mustang wouldn't be a shithead, that he wouldn't just leave? The thing was… Ed couldn't. He of all people knew that you can't predict what happens in life. And maybe Ed really understood what Mustang had been saying. He knew also how painful it was to lose someone. And maybe he had tried to keep everyone at a distance because he had thought that he would just lose anyone who would come near him, that he wouldn't be able to save them. But when it was Mustang… no, when it was Roy, then maybe. Maybe Ed didn't know how to be afraid anymore. And he knew that Mustang was really strong too…
So it was alright to give himself to him, someday, right? Mustang squeezed his hand a bit. Yes, Ed was sure it was.
Me: … …Ok, I'm having too much fun writing these random dialogues…
Ed: What is it? You're not happy with it?
Me: Not really… It's just weird how Roy just can't stop being a perv, you know?
Ed: T_T Finally someone understands me!
Roy: Huuuh? I'm not a pervert! I only say those things for those who want them from me!
Ed: I DON'T… WHAT THE… URGH! I'm so fucking pissed off right now that I can't form words!
Roy: You know, I've wondered for a while… since you're always so passionate, I bet you'd be one heck of a lover.
Ed: … Uh… Well, you can keep on wondering about that! 'Cause I will rather die painfully than be your fucking lover! *walks away*
Me: o_O Touché!
Roy: Wanna bet he's going to be my lover anyway?
Me: *grins* Why bet on it? We both know he will.
Roy: Finally someone understands me!