Summary: Shizuo knows that he isn't a monster, but Izaya proves otherwise. He shows the blond that he's an unlovable monster who would always be alone. His reason for doing so? To make Shizuo his.

Original prompt:

Izaya/Shizuo - abusive relationship.

Izaya uses his manipulations to successfully convince Shizuo on every level that he's an unlovable monster who will always be alone. Luckily Izaya is there to take pity on him~

Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara, just having fun with the ideas I get in my head.

Pile it up

The anger that keeps growing within a split second before exploding next was something Shizuo hated. He could have a stoic face for one moment, and when someone says or does something which annoys, it turns into a sneer. Usually when that happens, the person would either be dead or very dead. That was all; nothing more, nothing less.

Shizuo used to try and wonder why would the anger build up in his chest before causing the throbbing anger in his temple to explode. However, he never really had the chance to understand as when he was in rage, all he could focus on was the person themselves. His mouth would then begin to spat out strings of unpleasant words. Whatever than happen next, was something he never really liked.

He always remember the scene at the end of his furry; injured people, damaged properties or the worst, both of those. As a child Shizuo hated violence; hated how the said person's face would twist into a hideous sneer, the tears and blood that would spill from the injured. The most ironic part, he was one of those bastard who would reveal that hideous face and cause injuries to others.

Something in him would stir in him when he hears others murmur, scream, shout or curse him for being a monster. Maybe it was condemn, anger, frustration, thrill, amusement or guilt. Shizuo couldn't really quite understand which it was, so he didn't bother and allowed the stir in him to die down one way or another. After all, it always did at the end of the day.

Well, that was what he thought. However in truth, it was always being buried unconsciously by the blonde himself; piled up deep within himself in the same way as one whom would keep their feelings bottled up. Worst of all, the blonde didn't know he was burring those.

But even if he did, he wouldn't bother. After all, it wasn't as if it could cause any harm to him. It can't even if it tried, would be what he'll think. However, if it did...well...it's not like it's going to, so let's continue.

Shizuo was a pacifist but his anger and strength made it seem like a lie. But it wasn't a lie, like stated above, he hated violence and loved peaceful things. He had wanted to live a peaceful life, which was not possible because of both his strength, short tempered and mixture of other elements. In short, it was a wish that would never come true; a far-fetch dream.

Middle school might have passed with bumps here and there, but it was one of the most peaceful. Now, high school was something else; even the thought itself enrage the blonde. It was when he met that fucking flea. Yes, that was when everything he had build up in middle school (the way of keeping people away from picking fights with him) was all crushed easily, as if it was a soaked up paper that was being flunk out of the window from the twentieth story.

That flea used his name and cause trouble with people. And the one who was left to receive their 'wrath'?

Shizuo.

Despite his attempt to kill that flea, it escaped during graduation day. Another time when he was left with a period of short lived peace was during his career of many jobs; ones that he kept getting fired from because of his short temper. And when he received a job from his brother, he was glad. Kasuka even gave him the bartender cloths so as to encourage him in keeping still at one job.

Once more, like in high school, it was crashed when a certain flea who had to pop up at a scene where a bunch of policemen held Shizuo against the fence. That flea had framed him with a crime that he never knew of and even dared to flash that smug smirk before bursting into an amused laughter and walked away. Shizuo might have been released when the police realized that he held no connection whatsoever with the crime, but the frustration within him swelled.

With no one to vend on, other than the boss whom was giving him a talk, he threw his own boss out the window. What came after that was no surprise; he was fired. Right then, Shizuo felt as though those words 'you're fired' itself had sealed his fate. He broke the promise between him and his little brother.

But that was in the past and now Shizuo had a stable job working as a bodyguard for his middle school senpai, Tanaka Tom. Shizuo had also began to accept the strength that he hated, began to accept every flaw he used to hate. Oh, he might have began to accept everything, but the one thing he never did nor will never accept, and that was a certain fucking flea. As long as that flea dared to take a step into Ikebukuro, he'll sense it and rush to the scene before trying to beat the crap out of that flea.

Kill that certain flea with the name of Orihara Izaya: The main source of trouble.

"IIIZZZAAAYYYAAAA YOOO.." Shizuo pulled down his sunglasses and glared into those red eyes while he yelled at the tops of his lungs. Tom –who was beside the blonde not so long ago– let out a sigh before he headed off to at least a few buildings away. If the brunette could, he would have tried to calm the enraged Shizuo. But it was impossible when it involved that certain adult.

A smug smile tugged against Izaya's lips before he taunted, "Now now, Shizu-chan. I know you love me, but you don't need to glaze into my eyes that passionately!."

Shizuo felt the throbbing veins throb more than before as he placed his hands on a sign pole and yanked it out. Shizuo would have loved to puke at the words which spilled from the flea's mouth if he could. The reason why he didn't was because of the overwhelming thought of a simple:

Kill.

And with that, he charged towards the flea who flashed another smirk before whirling around to begin this game of chase. Despite knowing how this game would usually end, Shizuo continued to run, throwing and yelling. Each time that flea turned into a corner, Shizuo would run after, only to find that flea waiting for him at a distance away before running off. Each alley they ran through, Shizuo would get a few cuts from the sudden attacks in the darkness.

It was annoying; drove the blonde insane. Upon reaching a dead end, the blonde could help but to growl dangerously low to that flea who stood there grinning, thanking the blonde for the exciting game of chase through that single grin. Shizuo frowned and his hands shook when he curled them into a fist.

Shizuo grabbed Izaya's cloth and lifted the raven-hair adult into the air before slamming his body against the fence. Shizuo swore that he saw Izaya's eye gleam with something that he couldn't quite place in words, but it wasn't pleasant; it gave Shizuo a cold chill. Both eyes locked together in a silent war.

"Didn't I tell you not to step into 'bukuro?" Shizuo hissed, eyes narrowed to the flea who chuckled softly.

"I'm so sorry Shizu-chan, but when someone tells me to do something or stay out of, I tend to do the opposite." There it was once again, that smug grin and mockery. Oh, how the blonde wished that for once he could wipe that smirk off Izaya's face.

The glare that was thrown to the flea had almost indirectly send the message of the thoughts in his mind as he watched the the grin deepen with the words 'Too bad.' being mouth. The blonde tightened his hold of Izaya's neck, cutting off the air supply for him. But the grin continued to linger, staying as firm as ever despite the shortage of air that reached his lungs.

Stubborn flea.

Shizuo tightened his grip once more, pressing hard that it made his fingers seem to sink into the flea's neck. He believed that by doing so, he could at least wipe away that dreaded smirk, crush it with his own very hands. Crush that flea. Wipe him away from the face of this world. Kill-

At that moment, he didn't know why but the memories of the broken glasses and the milk lady -who laid unconscious on the ground- came flooding his mind; the painful past where he injured someone he cared for despite only wanting to help. And without wanting to, Shizuo let go of the flea's neck. While Izaya coughed and was busy getting his breath, Shizuo eyes wavered as he clenched his fist in something between guilt and self-condemn.

"What's wrong, Shizu-chan? Are you sure that it was a right choice to let me go?" Izaya wheezed, still wearing onto that smug smirk.

"You're lucky that I'm in a extremely good mood today." Shizuo lied as he turned and began to walk away. "I'll kill you the next time I find you stepping into 'bukuro. So get out now." When Shizuo was sure that he was far away from the flea, did he only realized the fine drops of sweat that beaded his forehead along with the pounding of the heart against his chest. Only then did the blonde realized what happened back then.

Fear.

Yes, when he tightened his grip on the flea's neck more than the first, fear had already began to course its way through his blood and made the memories of injuring someone came to his mind. The fear of hurting someone, to kill someone. He was afraid that he would kill the flea, and if such a thing happen, doesn't that make him a killer? Isn't it just as though he could just go around killing anyone with this strength?

Isn't that just like telling him that he could and would hurt, kill but never protect? Just like a monster he was and still is?

"Stupid..." Shizuo cursed as he punched the alley's wall, not knowing the eyes of a certain flea who followed him, was now watching in utmost amusement. Izaya pulled out his phone and began to text something to someone. When he was done, he flipped close his phone and wore a grin of triumph for the plan that he had laid.

"I don't think I can listen to your threat, Shizu-chan. Not especially when your in such a good mood..." Izaya watched as the blonde rested his forehead against the wall, before adding "...Also, your quite likeable when you try to lie..." the informant turned and walks away, fading into the shadows of the building.

A/N:

Okay, firstly, I'll be more casual on this fanfic's A/N than the other ongoing fic. *cough to warm up throat* WOOHOOO! Finally made an angst story~~

For now, ratings will be T. But as the story progresses, according to the chapter updated, it'll be changed to M...which wouldn't be anywhere soon...