First of all: Aakhgdlaghdalghakldhahfoghriaogbrugb

Second of all: Allow me translate the above statement…I AM SO SORRY. LIFE. THINGS. REASONS. I HAVE NONE. WHAT. TIME. UGH. FORGIVE ME. (i need a doge meme as a visual aid...)

Chinagal1 gets all the Credit for Rule #309 with Bumblebee forcibly having to connect with his femmeinine side. (Ba-Dum-Tish)

Skyress98 gets all the Credit for Rule #310 with the Dinobots being easily distracted when they see anything prehistoric.

Guest gets all the Credit for Rule #311 with Sauron being a creepier, more evil version of Santa Claus…And Red Alert being terrified of both.

T.M.D gets all the Credit for Rule #312 with Ratchet having a rather dim view on the power of love.

Optimus' girl gets all the Credit for Rule #313 with Elita not really understanding the concept of 'sharing is caring'.

Disclaimer:

Sideswipe: *twiddles thumbs* So...What do we do? We've been sitting here for...*checks chronometer* 8 months, give or take a few days, and she still hasn't updated the Fic...Do we just sit around some more or...

Ratchet: *rubs his faceplates in exasperation* I don't know, nor do I care. With all this free time we've had I've finally gotten some work done around here. Though, I do miss the readers. Their comments were rather nice to read.

Sideswipe: *grins* Whatever Ratchet. We all know you just loved the attention.

Ratchet: *scowls* Don't you have reports to fill out? If not, at least go be annoying somewhere else.

Sideswipe: *gets up and stretches* Yeah, I got work to do, but I think it can wait a bit. Sunny can handle them without me. Right now, I'm going to get the authoress back. She may not own us and she may be annoying sometimes-

Ratchet: *mutters sarcastically* Sometimes?

Sideswipe: -but she was the authoress and I'm sure that some of her readers miss her updates. That is, if they haven't killed her by now...*ponders that last statement* Yeah, I'd better get her before the readers do. They'll be nothing left to bury if they did.

Ratchet: *sighs* It's about to get a lot more chaotic around here...

309. Tampering with Bumblebee's radio is frowned upon.

(Bumblebee may be pretty omnivorous when it comes to music, but there are stations that even HE won't listen to.)

(Girly pop stations being one of them.)

(Besides the fact that the songs on those stations have very little use as conversation fodder for 'Bee, he really can't stand to listen to them.)

(So it's not the best idea to tamper with the scout's radio so that the only stations he picks up are said girly pop stations.)

(One wouldn't be able to do this act alone, Cybertronian tech is tricky enough, but if you ask Jazz or Blaster nicely enough and bribe them with iTunes gift cards, they'll help.)

(You should have seen the look on Bumblebee's faceplates the next day when he switched on his radio and all he got was Brittany Spears, Miley Cyrus, and Taylor Swift.)

(I thought he was going to glitch out right there!)

(Everyone was laughing as 'Bee frantically switched from song to song, station to station, only to have each one of them be filled with girly tween madness.)

(Even Optimus was stifling a chuckle or two behind his servo.)

(Jazz, feeling sorry for Bumblebee, ratted me out and told him that it was me who had asked him to change his stations over.)

(I've never heard the lyrics of 'Oops I Did it Again' used with such malice...The way he played the song you'd think it was about an ax murderer or something!)

(I'm hiding from Ironhide in an air vent right now as I speak...Bumblebee paid him with fresh Energon cubes to hunt me down and make me suffer...)

(Needless to say, I'll probably be up here for awhile. Tell my potato cannon I love it.)

310. When in doubt…MOVIE TIME.

(You don't know the meaning of the word 'exasperated' until you have to babysit the Dinobots for five hours straight while the rest of the team is off kicking Decepticon can.)

(The Dinobots would have been out with the 'Bots, but they were put under house arrest by orders of Optimus because Grimlock thought it was a good idea to play a game of Lobbing inside the base.)

(Teletraan 1 got a ball right in the monitor.)

(It took Wheeljack several days to get Teletraan 1 fully up and running again.)

(So now here I am, stuck babysitting a bunch of robot dinosaurs that have the attention span of several chipmunks and a bad the habit of setting things on fire when they get bored.)

(They kept trying to escape the base and wreck havoc outside, and it took all of my strength, shouts, and the last of my Dinobot Energon treats to stop that from happening.)

(Finally, I decided that popping a movie into Teletraan 1 was my last option, thankful that I had left a stash of VCR tapes in Spike's room for later viewing.)

(One of those movies was 'Dinosaur', and it was an instant hit with the Dinobots.)

(I've never seen them give anything so much of their attention! And for so long!)

(They especially loved it when dinosaurs that looked like them popped up on the screen, cheering and roaring when pterodactyls, triceratops, and such appeared.)

(You know, for being really annoying 90% of the time, the Dinobots can be really adorable the other 10%.)

(When they're not setting things on fire, that is.)

311. WHO THE FRAG BROUGHT UP SAURON?!

(Did I mention that Red Alert is really paranoid?)

(No?)

(WELL HE FRAGGIN' IS! AND SOMEONE HAD TO GO AND BRING UP SAURON WHILE I WAS WATCHING LORD OF THE RINGS!)

(Now he thinks that Sauron is always watching him, using his evil eye powers to constantly keep tabs on him.)

(I tried telling Red Alert that Sauron dies at the end of the third movie, but Red Alert just wouldn't listen.)

(There's also the fact that Sauron isn't real in the first place, but since when has that ever convinced Red Alert of anything?)

(He's been making tinfoil hats all day, taping over windows with masking tape, and sneaking around like he's some master ninja spy.)

(Every time someone tries to speak to him, he lets out this high-pitched scream and glitches.)

(Ratchet's taken to following him around, just waiting for him to glitch, knowing that nothing can convince Red Alert to calm down.)

(You just have to wait some things out...)

(And put up with all the screaming.)

(Trust me when I say that this not the worst thing that Red Alert has overreacted to.)

(You should have see how he acted when Annabelle told him about Santa Claus.)

(The whole base was on 'Red Alert', meaning that no one was allowed outside, all means of escape were sealed, and Red Alert became the dictator of fear for the whole week.)

(Sam, Leo, and Mikaela took to hiding with me in my trusty hidey-hole in the ventilation system.)

312. Ratchet knows his stuff.

(If you believe movies and books, you'll know that love is a very powerful power source.)

(I mean, come on! The power of love helped Harry Potter withstand a direct attack from Lord Voldemort when he was just a baby! What else can do that?)

(But don't talk to Ratchet about the power of love. You'll just get a speech about things like estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, and a slag-ton of other medical terms.)

(My head is spinning with all this anatomy stuff!)

(Maybe it's just a Medic thing, because I'm pretty sure that Knock Out feels that same way about love.)

(Bumblebee, however, totally believes in the power of love, especially after I showed him the movie 'Warm Bodies'.)

(He tried to get Ratchet to watch the movie with him, if not to see the power of live firsthand, then to look at the human decomposition examples that were the zombies.)

(When R was actually cured of zombie-ism with the power of love that he and Julie shared, Ratchet scoffed so loud that it shook the T.V.)

(He then went about explaining how the chemicals and hormones involved in feeling 'love' could not possibly bring a person back from apparent death, zombie or otherwise.)

(I just paused the movie and gave Ratchet a sly look and said...)

"How would you know Ratchet? It might not work with you Cybertronians, but humans are different. You'd know that if you bothered to study us more."

(Ratchet gave me a look, glanced at the paused movie, back to me, then got up and left.)

(He's in his berth room downloading as many human medical books as he can, fervently searching for instances of love that have cured diseases and such.)

(While he's studying, I'm helping myself to one of my more cleverly hidden candy stashes.)

313. Looking back, maybe PR wasn't such a great idea…

(After the whole Chicago fiasco, what with the giant alien deathships and such, the guys at N.E.S.T thought that the Autobots needed some help with their public image.)

(Many people had lost friends and family in the Chicago incident and were more than a bit hostile towards any alien robot, good or bad, because of it.)

(So, in order to make the public more trusting towards the Autobots again, they were asked to write letters to the Autobots, then some of the Autobots would reply.)

(The letters that kindergartners at a nearby school sent were downright adorable. Some of the kids even went so far as to draw pictures to accompany their letters.)

(But it wasn't those letters that were causing such a fuss.)

(Apparently, Optimus has quite the fan following.)

(The last base that the Autobots were stationed at had girls of all ages throwing themselves at the perimeter fences, trying to get inside to see one little peek of Prime.)

(No one thought anything of it then, but now, almost buried under fan mail from females fans, Optimus has to deal with all this sudden attention.)

(He's taking it rather well...Elita, however, isn't.)

(Woe to any fangirl of Optimus' that approaches him when Elita is around. Mega-woe if you approach him, Elita is there, and there are no other Autobots present to drag her away from you for having the nerve to approach her hubby.)

(She's really protective of Optimus and doesn't really understand that 'Sharing is Caring'.)

(I told her about the whole "Sharing is Caring" thing and she nearly blew my head off.)

I'm back, baby! Whoo! X) Hope you enjoyed this Chapter and I'd like to apologize for the incredibly long wait (8 month, frag...). I know what it's like to wait for updates on Fics and I'm sorry that you had to wait so long for an update in this Fic. Feel free to let me know what you think about this Chapter in a PM or review, or if you just want to rant at me, that's fine too! If you spot and grammar mistakes or spelling errors, point them out to me via review! Thanks a ton!