Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of SKKS.

A/N: This is my first SKKS fic, and I'd really appreciate some tips, pointers or critiques. I'm fairly new to the fandom and still getting my footing. A sequel to this fic is in the works, to be from Geol Oh's perspective.

It's more of a habit than anything else, visiting the gisaeng house. He simply goes there because he always goes there, not because he wants or needs or desires anything there. The girls all greet him flirtatiously, fawning over him and plying him with drinks.

As usual, he is his charming, gregarious self, and enters a room with no less than five gisaengs trailing behind him. On most days he would be thrilled about this, not only is it a boost to the ego to be so popular, but his status as "Yeorim" is reinforced once again. But today is not most days, and though he is charming and witty on the outside, he feels hollow and listless within.

The girls don't notice, too intent are they with fondling the ties of his silken robes and caressing his soft white skin. They giggle and sigh and touch him with the practiced hand of a courtesan, and he thinks this is all too familiar to be exciting.

He waves them off good-naturedly and drinks from his glass. With a smirk he says, "You'll tire me out much too soon with all your affections." The gisaengs blush at his flattery and withdraw their hands from his body.

"Young Master, please have another," one girl (Li-Ang?) says as she refills his cup. She's new and he has never taken her, but she seems eager to be his next. "Young Master is so handsome," she continues. "He is well-known for his skill." She brushes the silk of his colorful robe.

Maybe he should…

But he's not in the mood and so gently pushes her hand away and places an arm around her. She's not rebuffed, not entirely, but neither is she completely welcome. Some other night he'll have her, a night when desire thrums through his veins and his illicit library is not enough to soothe it.

Tonight is only for appearance's sake, too long without entering Moran-Gak and people begin to notice. He knows he's running from his problems, hiding behind gisaengs' skirts is an effective way to silence his (and others') doubts. He wonders how his dear Daemul has kept up her ruse for so long. Of course, it seems as if it isn't entirely as well-kept as she would like, but she has not been found out by the people who will sound the alarm. Not yet.

He is grateful for the entertainment provided by Kim Yoon Shik; much like the giaseangs, she is a great distraction from Yong Ha's more erstwhile thoughts.

How can loving someone be a sin?

He is not worried about Garang—he will find out soon enough what his fears amount to. But Gu Yong Ha, poor, playful Yeorim, his fears are only destined to grow darker until…

He would not break. He's Gu Yong Ha and he's the best there is.

He feels the hands of gisaengs on his person once again and he decides to relent; he does not wish to dwell on his worries any longer.

"My lovely Li-Ang," he purrs as he wraps his arm tightly around her waist.

"Yes, Young Master?" she giggles, leaning into his slender body.

"I do not believe I have had the pleasure."

Lovely Li-Ang is everything a gisaeng should be—pretty and pliant and easy to please. She sighs and moans at all the right times and though she has been trained to, Yong Ha knows she is not faking.

In the predawn hours Gu Yong Ha stumbles his way back to school; inebriated and exhausted, he clumsily pushes aside the rock hiding the secret entrance to the university. It's unlike him to be this way; he isn't really a sloppy drunk and can hold his liquor with the likes of Geol Oh (though the crazy horse doesn't drink as much as he wants people to think), but he's pushed past his limit this night and he knows it. He's only been like this a handful of times—the time when his father lectured him on his choice of friends, the night following Ha In Soo's exposure of Gu Yong Ha's merchant family, the day he finally realized the true nature of his feelings toward Moon Jae Shin… and tonight, of course, when those feelings refused to be tamped down by alcohol and gisaengs and sheer force of will.

Though sometimes Gu Yong Ha thinks he is not trying as hard as he should.

He snorts derisively to himself—Yeorim—if that's not trying than he doesn't know what is. Who else can say their nickname is also a euphemism for a certain part of a woman's anatomy? It's not as if he doesn't enjoy living up to his nickname—the women who've helped him earn it have all been wonderful entertainment—but Geol Oh makes Yeorim shiver in a way those women never have. It's too bad, he thinks, that Moon Jae Shin doesn't take after Kim Yoon Shik and is really a girl in disguise.

Yong Ha stops his drunken meandering in order to stifle giggles brought on by the image of Jae Shin dressed as a gisaeng.

He approaches his dorm with all the grace and stealth of a wild boar, but none of the university staff have seemed to notice. He removes his shoes on the step, but loses his balance, sending him crashing onto the wooden porch in front of his room. Yong Ha promptly bursts into a fit of giggles once again—even sober Gu Yong Ha would have found this glaring lack of grace amusing. His laughter dies down and yet he does not move from his facedown position on the porch. All that alcohol has certainly gone to his head, and isn't there such a nice breeze tonight? It might not be so bad to sleep here, where the wood is cool against his cheek and the moonlight has given everything such a nice, soothing glow. Yong Ha sighs and closes his eyes—the liquor has made his body so heavy and filled his mind with hazy sleep—his eyelids droop and his breathing steadies as a heavy drunken drowsiness washes over him.

A sharp pain in his left shoulder snaps Gu Yong Ha into wakefulness. He feels the pain again, only more intense, and finally he realizes a black boot is kicking him awake.

"Oy, Yeorim," a voice calls. "Look at that sleepy fuck," the voice mumbles, and Yong Ha grins at the familiar cadence of his friend. "What are you doing out here?"

"Geol Oh?" Yong Ha rolls onto his back and focuses his eyes on the dark face above him. A slow smile spreads across his face. "Ah, Geol Oh, what brings out here this time of night?" Yong Ha attempts to sit up, but only succeeds in looking foolish. He's lucky Geol Oh is the only witness. "Did Kim Yoon Shik and Lee Seon Joon kick you out?"

"Crazy bastard," Jae Shin mutters as he reaches for his friend, pulling him up by the collar of his silk clothes. "Where've you been all night?"

"Why?" Yong Ha smirks. "Did you miss me?" He leans heavily onto Jae Shin's shoulder and sighs.

"Come on," Jae Shin says. "Let's get you inside."

Geol Oh half drags half carries Yeorim into his room and dumps him, not unkindly, on the bedding.

Yong Ha smirks a little as his head hits the pillow. "You made my bed for me, Geol Oh?"

Jae Shin grunts. "This is my bed," he says. "I'm sleeping in here now."

"So they really did kick you out, eh?"

Geol Oh flops down beside him and jerks the pillow from beneath Yong Ha's head. A loud thump reverberates throughout the room as Yeorim's skull hits the hard floor.

"What was that for?" he asks.

"This is my pillow," Jae Shin replies and slides the pillow under his head.

"Then what am I supposed to use?" Yong Ha asks, his pink lips forming a well-practiced pout.

Jae Shin grunts a response and closes his eyes. Yong Ha glances at his friend, his pout turning into a devious smile. He turns on his side and inches closer to the crazy horse.

"Maybe this?" Yong Ha places his cheek on Jae Shin's shoulder and slides an arm across his torso. "Mmm," he sighs. "This is nice."

"Get off me!" Jae Shin attempts to extricate himself from his friend's grip, but to no avail.

"But I'm so comfortable," Yong Ha mumbles.

"You smell like liquor and perfume," Jae Shin replies.

"Do you like it?" Geol Oh shrugs his shoulder violently and Yeorim rolls away. "What was that for?"

"I told you," he replies. "You stink."

"You don't like the smell of the pretty ladies at Moran-Gak?"

Jae Shin huffs and turns his back on his drunken friend.

"Is that a no?" Yong Ha slowly approaches the crazy horse and presses up against him, his lips centimeters away from Jae Shin's ear. "Is there something else you like? Hmm?" Yong Ha's hand creeps up Jae Shin's arm, making its way to his chest and Jae Shin's body is tensing with every inch of skin that Yong Ha's fingers traverse.

"What are you doing?" Jae Shin asks, his voice no louder than a whisper.

"Do you like this?" Yong Ha's lips brush the shell of Jae Shin's ear; his breath washes over Jae Shin's tan skin and makes him shudder. "Moon Jae Shin?" Yong Ha licks the curve of the other man's ear and it's only after his tongue tastes skin that he realizes he has made a mistake.

Yong Ha feels the blow before he even registers that Jae Shin has punched him; his lip stings and he can taste blood inside of his mouth. He looks up at his attacker—his best friend—but Jae shin is already standing across the room, as far from Yong Ha as he can be inside this small dorm room. Yeorim gingerly touches his lips and his fingers come away bloody. This isn't the first time, he thinks, and it won't be the last.

They stand there facing each other, the sound of Jae Shin's breathing filling the silence between them.

"Why did you do that?" he asks Yong Ha. His voice is trembling and barely breaks the quiet.

"Geol Oh…" Yeorim trails off, his head is too heavy, too hazy, to make any sort of sense.

"Gu Yong Ha," Jae Shin says. "Answer me."

Yong Ha searches for something to say, anything at all to explain away his actions, but all his wit has left him and he can't stop the smirk that forms on his pink lips. "I thought it would be fun."

"Fun?" Jae Shin spits out the word as if it is poison, and in seconds his hands are clenching the collar of Yong Ha's silk robes. "Is that all I am to you?"

Yong Ha's back is pressed against the wall, but he is not afraid, only regretful; his words, usually so cunning and precise, are his downfall tonight.

"Geol Oh," he whispers. "That's not—"

"Not what?" Geol Oh snarls. "What you meant?" He leans close to Yeorim's pale face, meeting his eyes with a fierce glare. "When will you learn, Yeorim? I'm not your plaything."

Moon Jae Shin shoves Gu Yong Ha aside and storms out of the room without a glance backward. Yong Ha crumples on the floor, unable wipe away the tears as quickly as they fall, and silently begs his Geol Oh to come back to him.